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Old 02-06-2016, 03:13 PM   #76
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HOPEFULLY THIS GROUP DATE WON'T BE A DISASTER

JUBILEE, QUITE RATIONALLY, COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW DUMB GROUP DATES ARE

OH GOD IT'S A SPANISH CLASS GET READY FOR SOME CRINGE

THEY DO WEIRD VOCAL EXERCISES AND THEN DO WEIRD SHIT WHERE THEY SAY THINGS I BROKEN SPANISH

THIS IS PRETTY UNBEARABLE

JUBILEE HAS A WEIRD FREAK OUT ABOUT THIS FOR SOME REASON

TV ANCHOR GIRL CLAIMS TO KNOW SPANISH I DON'T ACTUALLY BELIEVE HER

NOW THEY USED THEIR SHITTY SPANISH TO FIND A RESTAURANT AND THEY'RE GOING TO COOK

MAN I REALLY WANT SOME MEXICAN FOOD NOW

THIS IS A SUPER COOL RESTAURANT I'M JEALOUS

LOL THEY'RE HAVING A COOK OFF AND THE RECIPE IS IN SPANISH IN PAIRS

TV ANCHOR FIGHTS WITH JUBILEE OVER BEN AND WINS

CLEARLY EVERYONE IS PISSED
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:26 PM   #77
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HAHA SO ONE OF THE GIRLS ACTUALLY SPEAKS SPANISH SO THAT'S UNFAIR

TV ANCHOR AND BEN DRINK MESCAL AND EAT CRICKETS

ALL THE GIRLS MAKE FUN OF HER HALITOSIS

DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
MIDWEST GIRL

LET'S DESIGN A LIFE TOGETHER


OH RIGHT FASHION SHOW

SO THEY START COOKING AND IT'S ACTUALLY NOT A DISASTER

EVERYONE CONTINUES TO BE PISSED BY TV ANCHOR TAKING OVER

JUBILEE THROWS SOME SHADE

ALRIGHT SO LET'S TEST SOME GROSS FOOD

TWIN AND JENNIFER

TORTILLA IS SUPER STALE NEXT

CAILA AND LEA

IT'S GOOD WHOO! NEXT

THERE'S A REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT WHERE JOJO TALKS ABOUT HER TACO AND THEY PLAY HAHA PLAYFUL INNUENDO MUSIC SO LET'S JUST SKIP AHEAD

BEN AND TV ANCHOR

FOR SOME REASON SHE DECIDED TO PUT FUCKING CRICKETS ON IT BECAUSE APPARENTLY MEXICANS REALLY LIKE CRICKETS

WOW RACIST

ONE OF THE CHEFS CALLS IT DOG FOOD LOL

FINALLY JUBILEE AND WHOEVER HER PARTNER WAS

THEY APPARENTLY LIKE IT A LOT

SOMEHOW
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:35 PM   #78
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JUBILEE TURNS AROUND ON HER OPINION ON GROUP DATES YANNO BECAUSE SHE WON

FUCKIN TV ANCHOR STEALS HIM AWAY IMMEDIATELY

HIM AND THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT HAVE A NICE MOMENT IN AN ALLEY

MAKE OUT COUNT: 2 (PRETTY LOW THIS WEEK HUH)

JUBILEE IS STARTING TO SEEM SUPER JEALOUS

THEY ALL KEEP POINTING OUT THE FACT THAT YES, THIS IS IN FACT A REALLY FUCKED UP PREMISE

MAKE OUT COUNT: LIKE FIVE AT THIS POINT

WELL UH BEN AND THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT HAVE LIKE 100% LEFT

SO UM

HE COMES BACK AND PULLS JUBILEE OFF AND JUBILEE IS SUPER PISSED

THIS IS GOING TO TURN INTO A WEIRD FIGHT
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:45 PM   #79
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THE LADIES NOTICE THE FACT THAT JUBILEE AND BEN ARE FIGHTING

UH OH I THINK SHE'S GOING HOME

MAN I REALLY HOPED SHE COULD GET HER SHIT TOGETHER

(I KINDA HOPE THAT THEY BRING HER BACK ONE SHE FIGURES HERSELF OUT)

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AT LEAST SOMEONE WHO ISN'T WHITE LASTED MORE THAN 3 WEEKS SO THERE'S THAT I GUESS

JOJO STEALS HIM AWAY AFTER THEY COME BACK AND "COMFORTS" HIM (MAKE OUT COUNTER: IDK 6ISH)

ALSO I THINK SHE MISCOUNTED BECAUSE SHE TALKED ABOUT HIM BREAKING UP WITH 10 GIRLS WHICH MEANS WHOOPS NO ONE WINS

AND TO MAKE THIS SO MUCH WORSE TV ANCHOR GIRL GETS A ROSE

#GETRIDOFTHECRAZY
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Old 02-06-2016, 03:57 PM   #80
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DATE TIME

IF MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT MEXICO CITY IS KNOWN FOR ITS FASHION, THEN HOW IS IT KNOWN FOR ITS FASHION???

WELL ANYWAY THE OWNER OF THE STORE THEY COME TO IS SUPER GAY AND PRETTY HOT

SORRY TOO DISTRACTED BY THE SEXY MEXICAN GAY MAN TO CARE ABOUT THIS DATE

IT HAS APPARENTLY BEEN HER DREAM TO GO TO MEXICAN FASHION WEEK LOL

SHE REALLY SUCKS AT BEING A MODEL POOR GIRL

UGH TOO MANY HOT MEXICANS CANNOT DEAL

SHE IS SUPER OUT OF HER LEAGUE AND BEN IS WEARING A REALLY GAUDY SHIRT

OKAY THAT SHIRT IS ACTUALLY KIND OF HOT ON HIM

THIS WAS SORT OF A COOL DATE

OR MAYBE IT'S JUST BECAUSE I'M SUPER OBSESSED WITH THE DESIGNER
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:04 PM   #81
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THE GIRLS SPECULATE ON WHETHER OR NOT MIDWESTERN GIRL WILL GET THE ROSE

SHE REALLY STRUGGLES TO MAKE HERSELF SEEM LIKE A SERIOUS PERSON

I BLAME HOW MICHIGAN SHE IS

MAKE OUT COUNTER: 8?

IDK SHE GETS THE ROSE THIS IS KINDA BORING
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:14 PM   #82
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ALRIGHT COCKTAIL PARTY

LET'S GET BITCHY

WHEREVER THEY ARE IT'S PRETTY FUCKIN' GORGEOUS

TV ANCHOR'S CRAZY IS JUST CREEPIN OUT AND BOY I'M MORE AND MORE UNCOMFORTABLE

JOJO AND BEN HAVE A DUMB CONVERSATION WHERE THEY HI FIVE AT THE END

MAKE OUT COUNTER: 9 MAYBE AND THEN 10 WITH SOMEONE I DON'T RECOGNIZE

WOW TV ANCHOR GIRL SAID THAT AMANDA (THE MOM)'S LIFE IS LIKE AN EPISODE OF TEEN MOM RIGHT TO HER FACE JESUS

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT WOW

THIS IS SOOOOOO FUCKING AWKWARD

YEAH WOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

JESUS GOD DAMNED CHRIST

TV ANCHOR TRIES TO BACKPEDAL AND JUST LOOKS LIKE AN IDIOT

THE TWIN GETS REALLY OFFENDED BY THIS AND GOES TO SAY SOMETHING TO BEN ABOUT THIS

PRO TIP: DO NOT GO TO THE BACHELOR(ETTE) ABOUT HOUSE DRAMA THAT IS THE EASIEST FUCKING WAY TO GET SENT HOME

OH NO

TV ANCHOR COMES OVER TO SQUASH THIS

THE MOMENT TV ANCHOR WALKS OVER THE TWIN IS LIKE "OH OKAY IM FINE BYEEE" AND GTFO'S
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:21 PM   #83
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SEEDS OF DOUBT HAVE BEEN PLANTED LET'S SEE OF TV ANCHOR WATERS THEM

TV ANCHOR GIVES HIM A RING WHICH IS NOT SUBTLE AT ALL

OH NO TWIN ONE IS CALLING TWIN TWO AND BITCHING ABOUT TV ANCHOR

BEN STARTS TO ASK GIRLS ABOUT THE HOUSE

BENVESTIGATION BEGIN!

UNSURPRISINGLY EVERYONE TALKS SHIT ABOUT HER

HERE COMES CHRIS HARRISON FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL WEEK

BUT HE PULL OLIVIA ASIDE BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY

UMMMMMMMMMMM

HE MIGHT TAKE HER ROSE AWAY
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:25 PM   #84
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NO WHAT CLIFFHANGER

PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK I SUPPOSE?

UGLY CRYING

SELF DOUBT

(also the girls try tequila lol)
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Old 02-06-2016, 04:25 PM   #85
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WELL THIS SHOW IS GETTING SUPER DUMB AGAIN WHATEVER

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK I GUESS
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Old 02-06-2016, 06:40 PM   #86
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You'd think they'd edit out at least some of the "this is kind of a fucked up show" comments.
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:07 PM   #87
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The sad thing is they probably do.
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Old 02-14-2016, 10:29 AM   #88
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ALRIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS

GATHER ROUND THE GLOWING BOX

TONIGHT ON THE BACHELOR

TV ANCHOR GIRL CLIFFHANGER
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Old 02-14-2016, 10:34 AM   #89
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AWKWARD TALK BETWEEN BEN AND TV ANCHOR

OBVIOUSLY SHE'S TRYING TO PAINT HERSELF AS A VICTIM

SHE WANTS TO "TALK SMART THINGS" (ACTUAL QUOTE)

BEN IS TOTALLY BUYING HER BULLSHIT

SADLY SHE IS NOT GOING HOME

THE TWIN IS FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

TV ANCHOR SAYS "COME AT ME BRO"
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Old 02-14-2016, 10:41 AM   #90
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WELL A FULL WEEK LATE IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR THE

ROSE CEREMONY!!!11!!1!!

THE ROSED
TV ANCHOR (BOO)
CAILA
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
JOJO
VIRGIN
LEA
TWIN

THAT RANDOMASS BRUNETTE THAT WE ALL FORGOT ABOUT LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO IS GOING HOME

OH WELL

NOW WE GET TO GO TO THE BAHAMAS!

GET READY FOR BAHAMA MAMA JOKES
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Old 02-14-2016, 10:52 AM   #91
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#TROUBLEINPARADISE

EVERYONE GLARES AT TV ANCHOR AS SHE MAKES A TOAST

UGH THIS WEEK CHRIS HARRISON ANNOUNCES THE FIRST TWO ON ONE DATE

SO TWO ON ONES ARE BASICALLY THE WORST THING ON THIS SHOW THEY'RE BASICALLY A COMPETITIVE ONE ON ONE WHERE ONE WOMAN GOES HOME AT THE END OF IT

DATE CARD THO

Spoiler: show
CAILA

LET'S SEE IF OUR LOVE IS REEL (LOL GET IT!!!)


THE GIRLS BITCH ABOUT CAILA GETTING ANOTHER ONE ON ONE

BEN SHOWS UP LOOKIN HOT AND IGNORING LEA (WHO NO ONE CARES ABOUT)

D8 TIME!!!

MAKE OUT COUNT: 1

CUT BACK TO THE HOUSE AND LEA IS SOBBING BECAUSE SHE REALIZES THAT SHE IS JUST THE ONE WHO IS NOT QUITE FORGOTTEN ENOUGH TO LEAVE BUT FORGOTTEN ENOUGH THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHO SHE IS

THIS IS INTERCUT BY THEM "CATCHING A FISH" AND SWIMMING

THERE IS A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF MOOD WHIPLASH
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:02 AM   #92
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THEY GO ON THIS CUTE LITTLE DATE AND BEN CONSTANTLY GRIPS HER CHAIR

THEY HAVE A REALLY EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION ABOUT SHARING THEIR FEELINGS

BEN THINKS SHE MIGHT BE LEAVING

W/E DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
MIDWEST
VIRGIN
MOM
JOJO?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT
LEA

LOVE IS UNPREDICTABLE


SO THAT LEAVES THE REMAINING TWIN AND TV ANCHOR TO SHOW OFF ON THE TWO ON ONE

IN A VERY IRONIC CONFESSION, CAILA SAYS SHE IS IN LOVE WITH BEN BECAUSE SHE IS "UNDERSTOOD" AND THEN TALKS IN CIRCLES, LEAVING BEN TO NOT ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE'S SAYING

EVERY OTHER WORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS "CONFUSING"
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:14 AM   #93
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ALRIGHT GROUP DATE TIME

THE GIRLS THINK THEY'RE GOING TO SWIM WITH SHARKS

BUT NO

Spoiler: show
ITS PIGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES THEY ARE FEEDING PIGS ON THE BEACH WITH CHICKEN SAUSAGES

YOU BASICALLY MUST WATCH THIS HERE LOOK

BORKED


MEANWHILE BACK AT THE HOTEL...

THE TWINS HAVE A PHONE CALL

NOT SHOCKINGLY, THEY BITCH ABOUT TV ANCHOR

SO ONCE ALL THE RABID ANIMALS GO AWAY, THE GIRLS BEGIN TO REALIZE HOW SHITTY THIS IS

MAN THIS IS A WEIRDLY SELF-AWARE SEASON

LEA COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW SHE HASN'T TALKED TO BEN AND THEN THE MOMENT BEN COMES TO TALK TO HER SHE JUST ACTS AWKWARD AND STARTS CRYING

YEAH WELL YOU HAVE PUT NO EFFORT IN WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:26 AM   #94
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POST DATE COCKTAIL PARTY

EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT HOW AWKWARD THEY FEEL AND MAKE EVERYONE FEEL AWKWARD ABOUT FEELING AWKWARD

MAKE OUT COUNTER: 2

ALRIGHT DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
TWO WOMEN, ONE ROSE, ONE STAYS, ONE GOES

CHRIS HARRISON

TV ANCHOR + TWIN

LET'S SEE WHAT THE BAHAMAS HAVE IN STORE FOR US


TV ANCHOR THINKS WILL HAVE TO BABYSIT THE TWIN DESPITE BOTH BEING 23

MEANWHILE LEA ACCUSES FLIGHT ATTENDANT (WHO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG) OF BEING TWO FACED

HISTORY HAS SHOWN THAT THIS STRATEGY IS NEVER ACTUALLY SUCCESSFUL

AND AS EXPECTED IT IS TANKING HARD

SHE'S FREAKING OUT ABOUT IT JUST AS LEA COMES BACK

LEA TRIES TO ACT LIKE SHE DIDN'T DO IT AND LIES THROUGH HER FUCKING TEETH

WOW GJ
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:32 AM   #95
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AFTER ALL OF THIS SHIT POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT DIDN'T GET THE ROSE (THE MOM DID WHICH IS OKAY BUT STILL)

AFTER THAT SHITSHOW LEA FEELS THE NEED TO DO SOMETHING MORE EXTREME TO GET A ROSE

SHE'S GOING TO GO TALK TO BEN BY HERSELF TO CONTINUE TO LIE ABOUT HER

THIS WILL END FANTASTICALLY TO BE SURE
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:38 AM   #96
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LEA BEGINS HER MISGUIDED SABOTAGE PLAN

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK BAD THINGS ABOUT LAUREN BUT...

SHE PROCEEDS TO LIE ABOUT LAUREN

SHE MAKES BROAD NEGATIVE STROKES ABOUT HER TO PLANT SEEDS OF DOUBT ABOUT THIS POOR GIRL

AND THE MORE SHE TALKS, THE LESS THAT BEN CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

IT BACKFIRES IMMEDIATELY AND HE TELLS HER THAT SHE SHOULD GO HOME

LEA IS ENTIRELY SHOCKED AND JUST LEAVES SILENTLY

SHE SHOWS ABSOLUTELY NO REMORSE FOR THROWING ANOTHER GIRL UNDER THE BUS

WELL ONE LESS CRAZY I GUESS
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:49 AM   #97
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NOW FOR THE TWO ON ONE

TIME TO GET RID OF ONE MORE CRAZY

THEY GET ON A BOAT AND IT'S SUPER FUCKIN WINDY

BEN IS SUPER CHILL BUT THE LADIES ARE FLOPPING AROUND

AWKWARD SILENCE IMMEDIATELY

TV ANCHOR PULLS HIM AWAY AND TRIES TO TALK HERSELF UP AND TALK ABOUT "DEEP INTELLECTUAL THINGS"

ALTERNATIVELY, THE TWIN HAS A VERY BORING CONVERSATION ABOUT NOTHING PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

OLIVIA CONTINUES TO ACT EXTREMELY OVERCONFIDENT AND SADLY BEN TAKES HER AWAY WITH THE ROSE
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Old 02-14-2016, 11:55 AM   #98
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UH OH

THIS IS A FAKEOUT!!!!!!!!

BYE TV ANCHOR GIRL

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Old 02-14-2016, 12:08 PM   #99
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COCKTAIL PARTY...

...OR MAYBE NOT????

RIGHT TO THE ROSES THIS WEEK

MAN ONLY THREE ROSES

TO RECAP, CAILA AND THE REMAINING TWIN HAVE ROSES SO THAT LEAVES...

THE ROSED
VIRGIN EXTRAORDINAIRE
JOJO

OH NO IT'S THE POOR FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND MIDWESTERN GIRL

Spoiler: show
IT'S THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT


WELL I GUESS THAT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE

MAN THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING INTERESTING THIS WEEK (ASIDE FROM THE PIGS I GUESS)

BUT AT LEAST FUCKIN GOD DAMNED TV ANCHOR GIRL IS GONE

WELL FRIENDS ITS GETTIN DOWN TO THE WIRE

EVERYONE'S SOBBING

THERE'S ONE MORE WEEK TILL HOMETOWNS SO WE'RE GETTING REALLY FUCKIN SERIOUS NOW

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR YET ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF OF GROWN WOMEN MAKING FOOLS OF THEMSELVES ON BROADCAST TELEVISION
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Old 02-16-2016, 03:18 AM   #100
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> swimming with pigs
That was adorable. Not the girls, the pigs. Such cute little guys.
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