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Old 02-15-2015, 01:42 PM   #1
Son_of_Shadows
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TJI Round 1: Sneezey vs. Slash!

Welcome one and all to the Tri-Jewel Invitational, a constant reminder to all those applying for UaCC that lol, you all suck proverbial balls, here are the real battlers to show you how it's done. Because fuck your hubris. Looking right at you. You know who you are.

In any case; I've been assigned to ref this battle between salty salty Sneezebag, and less salty Slashy. I'm a lil intimidated, but as long as I can avoid the travesty that was Connor vs. Emilia, I'll be fine. Anyhoo, let's have a look at our rules.

2v2 Singles
Equilevel
Hidden Squad
96 Hr DQ
Switch = OK
Slapstick
Pre Gen VI typecharts

And you join us today on Route 113, a dusty grey landscape that is playing fucking havoc with my asthma. Thanks Jeri. Thanks so much. A quick look at our arena will open the battle:

Quote:
Fallarbor Town & Route 113 (Outdoor Arena) - A small farming community at the base of Mt. Chimney, covered in a layer of fine ash that falls from the mountain. Battlers begin just outside town among the ashy fields of loamy soil, filled with a variety of berry sprouts. The rather soft soil makes using Ground attacks like Earthquake a little bit less effective, but the firm ground on the paths that divide the plots has no problem transferring the energy. If the battle travels east, the battlers will come across tall grass covered in ash, which can be used for cover. To the west is the town proper, which has a number of small buildings that can be used for hiding as well.
An intriguing field to be sure. Both battlers seem like they'll have Pokémon more than capable of taking advantage of the ashen plains and Fallarbor itself, as well as the current loamy ground. Let's begin.

Gentlemen; your Pokémon and orders to my inbox.
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Why are you always a pretty princess?
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 02-15-2015, 09:41 PM   #2
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PM in. Bring it, Sneeze.
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As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezey12 View Post
KAIRNE I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SCROTUM AND FEED IT TO YOU THROUGH A FUCKING SWIRLY STRAW.
Leader of the "Stop Screwing Over Smeargle" Brigade

ASB
Spoiler: show
Art by Kairne
ASB
[URL="http://forums.upnetwork.net/showthread.php?t=4387"]
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Old 02-20-2015, 01:12 PM   #3
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Iiiiiiiiiiiiit's TJI TIME BITCHEZZZZZZ HERE WE FUCKIN GO!

Standing in the centre of the route, between Fallarbor and the ash fields, the Grass Gym Leader locks eyes with the Route 1 Gym Leader. The sheer intensity of the stare makes me uncomfortable in the best way. I smell a sexy fight. At once, they both get their balls out... and draw their Pokéballs, releasing their chosen combatants for round one.

On Slash's side, because he knows how to appeal to me, is a small cat with yellow fur and a purple crown; the adorable, sassy Delcatty, Norma.

Quote:
Norma: Delcatty (F)
Hidden Power Fire
Delcatty (Normal): Techniques that are based on cuteness (such as Charm, Attract, Sweet Kiss, etc) are slightly more effective when used by Delcatty. They prefer to use their tail for slapping and similar attacks. They are able climbers and have excellent poise and balance. As a cat, they will usually land on their feet, and can slip through gaps that might seem too thin at first glance with little drop in speed. They can see in the dark.
[Normal]: Normal-type Pokémon generally have a bit less off-type energy than other Pokémon. Normal-types which usually have a secondary type do not suffer from this drawback unless specified. In the ASB, Normal-types take neutral damage from the damaging effects of Ghost-type energy.
But... where's Sneezey's Pokémon? He definitely sent one out, I mean I have these orders right he- OH, there she is. Just disguised against the ground, fading into view now. Here she comes; Aphie the Kecleon! ... Someone's copying Jeri.

Quote:
Aphie: Female Kecleon (uplevel)
Hidden Power: Psychic
Kecleon (Normal): Kecleon can disguise themselves like a chameleon quickly and without using energy, at the cost of a move. However, their stripe remains visible, so they can still be tracked, although it is much harder. Attacks based upon trickery are slightly more effective when used by Kecleon.
[Normal]: Normal-type Pokémon generally have a bit less off-type energy than other Pokémon. Normal-types which usually have a secondary type do not suffer from this drawback unless specified. In the ASB, Normal-types take neutral damage from the damaging effects of Ghost-type energy.
Delcatty vs. Kecleon. Round one. FIGHT!

Aphie moves first, slithering and springing towards Norma in a very... lizardy manner. But while she's warming up her voice for a beautiful song, Aphie seizes the initiative and turns it into a screamo piece, yelling loud enough to put an awful ringing in my ears. Goddamnit I am getting over a headcold I do NOT need this shit right now Sneezey you dickhead. Ugh. Deafening screech out of the way, and with Aphie now up close and personal, the Delcatty sneers at her. How DARE she interrupt her solo like that! Well, by all means, says Aphie, please go on. I'll listen intently. She bows humbly, putting a hand behind her back. But as Norma inhales again for her divine moment of performance, she gets a fistful of dark energy down her throat! What a nasty Sucker Punch by that devilish Kecleon!

Aphie avoided damage this round, but used up 2/3 of her Dark energy in return.

My coinflip determined that Slash will now order first.
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Why are you always a pretty princess?
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 02-20-2015, 01:37 PM   #4
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Secret Power. Follow with a Sing
__________________
--- ---
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezey12 View Post
KAIRNE I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SCROTUM AND FEED IT TO YOU THROUGH A FUCKING SWIRLY STRAW.
Leader of the "Stop Screwing Over Smeargle" Brigade

ASB
Spoiler: show
Art by Kairne
ASB
[URL="http://forums.upnetwork.net/showthread.php?t=4387"]
Daisy Art:

Spoiler: show


Battlecuts courtesy of DaisyInari

Random stuffs:
Spoiler: show


Spoiler: show
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Old 02-20-2015, 07:50 PM   #5
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"Fake Out to prevent the attack. When she opens her mouth to sing, send a point blank Ice Beam down her throat."
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Daisy wins at life for making this Battle Cut
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Old 02-22-2015, 02:34 PM   #6
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TJI LET'S GEDDIT

So, Kecleon versus Delcatty continues; karma chameleon versus Regina George. And with the quarter finals on the line, neither battler will be pulling any punches, right? Well, Sneezey sure as hell isn't anyway. Pretty kitty starts glowing pink, only to be swiftly interrupted by Aspic clapping her cheeks. Wow, what a little bitch. Norma is so offended (although it's not Wednesday, so the sudden lack of pink is far from disconcerting) she manages to forget what the hell she was doing. But, deciding to go back to her original plan of "dazzle Sneezey with pure TALENT", Norma opens her mouth and takes another deep breath; inhaling from the diaphragm to unleash a wonderful song. I mean, it's not exactly "Memory", but it's rather pleasing. However, Aspic has been anticipating this, and using the flinch time to charge a frigid ray from her hands, bellowing a "Kaaaaa-meeeeee-haaaaaaaa-meeeeee-haaaaaaa!" She sends the beam straight down Norma's gullet once again; interrupting the song after only a few seconds! Damn, Sneeze is literally going for the throat here folks!

Aspic went undamaged again, but is slightly drowsy after hearing at least some of the lullaby. She's 2/3 out of Ice and will be slower to react next round. Norma is dropping towards the second third. Both are good for two.

Sneezebag.
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Why are you always a pretty princess?
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 03-18-2015, 05:24 PM   #7
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... If either of you gents feel like ordering, that'd be spectacular.
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Why are you always a pretty princess?
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 03-19-2015, 07:55 PM   #8
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Something something hiatus after car accident something something.

"Use your tongue to Bind tight around your foe's neck and draw her close for an Ancient Power. Don't loosen your grip."
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Old 03-20-2015, 03:50 PM   #9
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Use the opportunity to Flash him. If he loosens his grip, Play Rough as you slip out. Use that tail. If he stays gripped, Safeguard to shunt him and that stupid tongue away, time it to block the Ancient Power if you can
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--- ---
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezey12 View Post
KAIRNE I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SCROTUM AND FEED IT TO YOU THROUGH A FUCKING SWIRLY STRAW.
Leader of the "Stop Screwing Over Smeargle" Brigade

ASB
Spoiler: show
Art by Kairne
ASB
[URL="http://forums.upnetwork.net/showthread.php?t=4387"]
Daisy Art:

Spoiler: show


Battlecuts courtesy of DaisyInari

Random stuffs:
Spoiler: show


Spoiler: show
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Old 03-25-2015, 10:56 AM   #10
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I'm not late, you're late, go fuck yourselves.

ROUND THREE! FIGHT!

With her opponent so far untouched, Norma needs to make a big move sooner rather than later it would seem. Aphie however isn't going to let her off that easy, extending her tongue out as far as it can, and tying a sickening, saliva-covered noose around the cat's neck. Once again, Sneeze is quite literally going for the throat in this match! Norma chokes as her windpipe is pressured and frantically claws at the fleshy rope, but to no avail. Slash calls for a Flash, to distract his opponent while the Kecleon draws her in, and she grins, knowing she has her foe now. Closer, and closer, she waits for her opportunity before a dazzling glow lights the field, stunning and blinding Aphie! What a move! As she clutches her eyes in shock, the tongue loosens just enough for a lithe cat to slip out of.

She may no longer be drowsy, but recovering from that stunning blast is clearly taking Aphie time, so Norma launches right in to her counter-offensive, batting, scratching and clawing at the chameleon. It's a playful attack, but leaves lasting damage on her. Still seeing spots, she summons a rocky orb of energy between her hands to fire a hadouken... In the wrong direction entirely. It's a bad turn of events for her, but at least she's not drowsy any more!

Norma took a sliver of damage from the squeezing, but otherwise went untouched. Aphie is still seeing some spots from that Flash, and has 2/3 of her Rock energy left. Both are still just about ok for two.
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Why are you always a pretty princess?
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 03-25-2015, 01:37 PM   #11
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I don't like cats, but you're definitely the exception, Norma.
Back up as you use a wide-spread Icy Wind. Then just try to stay on your toes. Er, paws.
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--- ---
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezey12 View Post
KAIRNE I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SCROTUM AND FEED IT TO YOU THROUGH A FUCKING SWIRLY STRAW.
Leader of the "Stop Screwing Over Smeargle" Brigade

ASB
Spoiler: show
Art by Kairne
ASB
[URL="http://forums.upnetwork.net/showthread.php?t=4387"]
Daisy Art:

Spoiler: show


Battlecuts courtesy of DaisyInari

Random stuffs:
Spoiler: show


Spoiler: show
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Old 03-31-2015, 10:45 PM   #12
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Bumping for Kairne
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezey12 View Post
KAIRNE I WILL RIP OFF YOUR SCROTUM AND FEED IT TO YOU THROUGH A FUCKING SWIRLY STRAW.
Leader of the "Stop Screwing Over Smeargle" Brigade

ASB
Spoiler: show
Art by Kairne
ASB
[URL="http://forums.upnetwork.net/showthread.php?t=4387"]
Daisy Art:

Spoiler: show


Battlecuts courtesy of DaisyInari

Random stuffs:
Spoiler: show


Spoiler: show
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:15 AM   #13
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"Power through the cold to smack your foe with a Drain Punch. Follow up with a Thunder Wave to lock her up."
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Daisy wins at life for making this Battle Cut
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Old 04-11-2015, 07:57 PM   #14
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Fuck it, 1.35 AM.

Taking advantage of a dazzled foe, Norma moves away, towards Fallarbor as she blows an icy gust over the battlefield, chilling Aphie to shiver. Guess Slash thought Sneezebag needed to chill out. Understandable, given his tactic of "PUNCH IT IN THE THROAT" this match. Knowing the general direction of the attack, Aphie rushes in regardless, closing the gap as she tries to focus on her target. Unfortunately, the residual efforts of the flash, with Norma's catlike agility, combine to cause a mere glancing blow against the kitty, meaning Aphie isn't recovering as much as she'd like, but she does follow up by holding her opponent in a killer Thunder Wave, paralysing her to the spot...

Norma is paralysed and finally out of the first third. She has 2/3 Ice left. Aphie has 1/2 her Fighting and 2/3 Electric left, but could do with a breather.
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Old 04-12-2015, 02:57 PM   #15
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"Just Swagger for now."
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Old 04-16-2015, 03:32 PM   #16
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DQ POWERS ACTIVATE!

FORM OF NOT-GONNA-BOTHER-WITH-ORDERS-BECAUSE-CAN'T-GET-KO.
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Daisy wins at life for making this Battle Cut
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:08 PM   #17
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SNEEZEY WINS WOO

HE GETS 2 TP BUT NO KOS

SLASH GETS 1 TP IF HE RETURNS

I GET... FUCK I DUNNO TONSILITIS IS FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN SOMEBODY TELL ME
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Old 04-16-2015, 05:11 PM   #18
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Dunno if Jeri is doing the double SP tourney bonus or no. If so you get 2.5, if not you get 1.25.
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Old 04-22-2015, 01:56 PM   #19
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Do the SP bonus!
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Old 04-22-2015, 04:44 PM   #20
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Jeri bb ilu
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