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Old 02-06-2012, 02:04 AM   #751
Talon87
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A friend shared this with me today.
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:53 PM   #752
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I laughed at my mom today. She busted into my room said "Dopple, you have a cousin, why didn't you tell your mother". The phrasing was like "you have an illegitimate child", literally that exact presentation style. So I gave her an appropriate response

"It's none of your business whether I decide to have a cousin or not"

"He's a priest, boo hoo"

"So"

"His father is my mom's first cousin, awww haaa waaaa"

"Wait, what?"

"They are so nice to me, but I'm afraid to reconnect with them because they are on dialysis machine, and might ask for money"
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Old 02-06-2012, 06:58 PM   #753
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How does your mother not know that she has a niece/nephew but you do? That's pretty weird. Usually secret family members are known to the adults but not the children, not the other way around.
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Old 02-06-2012, 07:09 PM   #754
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I didn't know I had this cousin, but I hypothetically would have known ahead of her because she found out using Facebook.

It was funny because she came in and accused me of hiding this information, when I didn't know/didn't care.
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Old 02-07-2012, 05:41 PM   #755
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you know you dont have a life when you dont know your cousins
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this(or that) is a link by the way.
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Old 02-08-2012, 04:18 PM   #756
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I have hundreds of cousins and they live in the jungles of the Philippines, half a world away. It's not surprising that I wouldn't know one of them.
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Old 02-10-2012, 01:26 AM   #757
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DarkMagic pointed me to this.

Defriending leads to a Double Murder.

This is why I don't use my Facebook!
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Old 02-10-2012, 02:19 AM   #758
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Iron Sky trailer

Spoiler: show
I'm not quite sure if it's a parody, is serious, or some kind of hybrid, but Sarah Palin as President makes me wonder if the Nazis even have to invade the US at all.
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Old 02-10-2012, 10:55 AM   #759
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Couldnt find Youtube thread so here we go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It6xj...feature=relmfu
NOSTALGIA BOMB
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I'm an old school Poke-BALLER.

”Fee, fie, foe, fum the End are Near at thou Bobbum. Time me open Bobbum Van trunk, for ruin Bobbum wif Equipmunk.”
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Old 02-10-2012, 03:47 PM   #760
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https://imgur.com/gallery/StHbr
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I'm an old school Poke-BALLER.

”Fee, fie, foe, fum the End are Near at thou Bobbum. Time me open Bobbum Van trunk, for ruin Bobbum wif Equipmunk.”
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Old 02-10-2012, 04:01 PM   #761
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That Jeff guy is way too rednecky. I could see him being ticked off about our hero trolling him the first time since that is a dick waste of Jeff's time, but the second time, he should have smiled to himself and been like, "Well played, sir. Well played." 'Cause it was. Jeff was a dumbass for asking for more but he's an even bigger dumbass for not having a sense of humor about the second set of deals.
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Old 02-11-2012, 10:03 PM   #762
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So, apparently "Why is Sex Fun" is trending on Twitter right now because of a Discovery Channel program that goes by the same name and is airing. Amused by the absurdity of such a trending topic, I decided to click on it to see what people were saying. Oh, was I rewarded. Some choice samples for your reading pleasure:

"Why Is Sex Fun ... i don't know, i've Never had sex. #TeamVirgin"

"Why Is Sex Fun? It isn't, you get STDs and die and go to hell."

"Why Is Sex Fun...'Sex Is Fun Because We Doing Every Position Thought Of And If We Run Out We Maken Up Our Own'"

"Why Is Sex Fun ... You get pregnant and die xD"

"Why Is Sex Fun ... it isn't, because you will get pregnant, and die."

"Why Is Sex Fun? It's not. Don't have sex because if you do you'll get pregnant and die." (You get the idea. This one shows up a LOT, posted uniquely by different individuals, not the same exact tweet being retweeted.)

"Why Is Sex Fun because you can do sh*t like swing from chandeliers & pretend you're a cow girl"

"Why Is Sex fun ? because you can express yourself" (He's a poet. )

"#NW Why is Sex Fun on the Discovery Channel. They're acting like this shit is science n'shit." (Note: this playa goes by the username of Gandalf the Grey, so I don't think he's one to act like he's not a nerd ... lol)

"Why is sex fun? Yes it is, but the british doesn't like, is that true?"

"Why Is Sex Fun? Cuz kNeading Titties Is Better Then kneading Play Gough ."

"Why Is Sex Fun: Girls enjoys it cos they can burn calories." (And if you thought this was funny, just wait until an actual girl tweets it ...)

"Why Is Sex Fun .. Because You Can Burn Some Calories While Enjoyin Yourself !" (See? )

"Why is Sex Fun? You could always end up with abominations just like me. Just ask my mother!"
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Old 02-12-2012, 07:35 AM   #763
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>You get pregnant and die

Okay....

>Yes it is, but the british doesn't like, is that true?

Protip: Not true.
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Old 02-12-2012, 10:59 AM   #764
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"She gave you that hug that, you know? That grandma hug that you know that just shook your body." - P Diddy on Whitney Houston, who died at the apparently "grandma" age of 48

EDIT: And a second! I am reminded by a friend that today is the sixth anniversary of former Vice President Dick Cheney shooting someone while on a hunting trip. Crazy how time flies.

Last edited by Talon87; 02-12-2012 at 11:15 AM.
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Old 02-16-2012, 06:59 PM   #765
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"Gubernatorial? More like übernatorial! "

Was just remembering that line from Conan O'Brien's sketch in 2003 back when Arnold Schwarzenegger ran for the office of governor of California. Decided to look up the sketch and surprisingly found it, intact, on Youtube.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:37 PM   #766
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Bloomberg came out with an article on MegaUpload's CEO, Kim Dotcom.

The guy's a real personality, and I don't doubt he could become a cult figure after the MU trial.

;_;

Oh MU, I so miss you.
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Old 02-16-2012, 10:01 PM   #767
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The guy seems like a bit of a stupid jackass, but his friends all insist that he's a clever bastard, so who knows.
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Old 02-16-2012, 11:11 PM   #768
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My first impression was that he was incompetent. But that he could get away with tons of fraud and live like a king in New Zealand, certainly belies a deep intellect and immense confidence. Especially when the guy didn't finish school and was responsible for all sorts of weird financial companies.

Reminds me a lot of Frank Abagnale. As someone who has grown up petrified by the fear of authority, I can really admire these guys for how unrestrained they are.
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Old 02-17-2012, 11:20 PM   #769
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http://www.kcra.com/news/30485465/detail.html
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Old 02-17-2012, 11:24 PM   #770
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Too little information provided. Was he impoverished? Was he in his right state of mind? Was the cat a stray? Did he euthanize the cat before decapitating and filleting it? There're a lot of questions the answers to which would sway from feeling bad for the guy as well (or even primarily) to feeling exclusively for the cat. The article's vague presentation makes it seem like we're meant to only feel bad for the cat. Well, I do feel bad for the cat, but if this guy was homeless and starving and the cat was a stray, then all bets are off.
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Old 02-17-2012, 11:36 PM   #771
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He was probably a weirdo (-1) who caught stray cats and ate them (+1). I imagine it's possible he's Vietnamese, since eating cats is apparently a cultural cuisine in Vietnam, but I haven't heard of a strong Vietnamese population over there in Bakersfield.

There's very little from the story that pushes my buttons except the indignation toward killing a cat, as evidenced by the hilarious Facebook comments. Feral animals are a huge problem most animal control agencies don't deal with, so I'm not bothered that he ate them, although he probably should have used an axe or something sharp instead of sawing the cat with a knife.

If he was stealing pets and killing them, well that's a different set of more severe crimes. But ferals? No way.
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Old 02-17-2012, 11:53 PM   #772
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Is it Dude Looks Like a Lady? Or is it Lady Looks Like a Dude?

Brought to you by rummaging through the pictures and captions in the slideshow in this article. Mind you, a lot of them looked like men, starting with the very first , but this one just ... wow. Here's a better picture of her. "Better."
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Old 02-17-2012, 11:56 PM   #773
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Idk I hate cats.
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Old 02-22-2012, 09:02 PM   #774
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Poor guy complains Red Lobster won't feed him for free on his birthday, Internet rallies behind him, Red Lobster says "Fine, fine. "

It'll be interesting to see whether they give him a free $20 dinner, a free $10 entree, or a free $5 kids meal entree.
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Old 02-22-2012, 09:22 PM   #775
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Fuck that guy.
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