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Old 03-10-2014, 08:05 AM   #126
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Oh, damn. Seems like the scalper-succubi are at it again. Better alert the Dream Police...
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Old 03-22-2014, 05:32 AM   #127
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Last night, or rather yesterday, I dreamed about a creepy little boy. He was seven or eight, and he was trying to kill me with a knife all the while talking about how he loved his big brother (me). It was freaky, but earlier in the dream I'd had this robotic summon companion and after waking up I couldn't figure out why I didn't just call it to help me. I lay there half a sleep and thought Shit, I should call my little robot pal instead of running scared from an eight year old with a steak knife.. Strangest part, I was kinda sad when I realized I was awake now and I couldn't call my robot for help and see how that turned out.

EDIT: It should be noted I do not in actuality have a little brother, fratricidal or otherwise.
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Old 12-09-2014, 08:27 AM   #128
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I was at a multi-story house my brain put together. (I can't place any of the particular rooms.) This house was, in the dream, my grandmother's. And the family was all gathered together there -- aunts and uncles, cousins, everybody. In the living room, there was myself, my sister, a cousin I have in real life ... and then a black girl, again put together by the dreaming brain and not familiar to my awake mind as anyone I know from anywhere. This black girl, as in my dream, was a cousin of mine. And her mother, my aunt, was a sometimes-black version of one of my actual aunts. (Sometimes she was black and looked authentically black, other times she looked as she really does IRL.)

During the dream, we were alternately playing and watching others play (again my brain couldn't decide which canon to go with) an XBox 360-level video game with a tabletop booklet-manual that accompanied it. A hybrid of Skyrim and Metroid Prime, the game featured puzzle chambers and platformer challenges like Metroid Prime, was medieval fantasy adventuring like Skyrim, and the environs were like a hybrid of both games'. At one point in the dream, my mind decides that the players playing are, this time for sure, 1) me, 2) Arin from Game Grumps, and 3) Ross from Steam Train. We're trying to assemble parts needed to restore a lost treasure but I am too distracted by / bothered by a game design thing and I distract Arin with this too, such that meanwhile Ross plays on all by himself in that chamber while we talk near the entrance, Ross finds all of the puzzle pieces, and a tall knight statue near the entrance comes to life and gifts Ross a magic sword made of gold alloy that regenerates after breaking when you dunk it into a vat of gold trinkets and coins.

I'm briefly in Ross's bedroom (which happens to be at my grandmother's) as he, Arin, a few others, and I all admire his new sword. (Which by the way he has now in his possession outside of the video game.) Then the dream puts me back in the living room with my sister, cousin, and fictional black cousin.

I don't remember the connection from here, but suffice to say that my black cousin says something that I disagree with, our disagreement quickly evolves into an argument, I insinuate that she is stupid, she plays the race card and wrongly accuses me of calling black people collectively stupid, we cycle two or three times between me telling her that this has nothing to do with race and her re-playing the race card, and finally I shout, "I never said black people are stupid! I said you're stupid!" At this ...

... She storms off in tears to the adjacent kitchen, climbs up onto a countertop, opens a cabinet door, climbs up inside, and shuts the door behind her. Following into the kitchen, I see her mother there. Her mother explains to me that my cousin had a crush on me going into this family get-together and that I've just broken her heart. Awkward, I think to myself, especially since I don't return the feeling at all. Meanwhile, my cousin opens the cabinet door and starts chucking plates and bowls at us, one at a time. Each is in danger of shattering; I catch as many as I can, and the ones I miss slam into the floor and miraculously show no signs of damage. But these are my grandmother's chinaware. I love my grandmother so much, and am myself such a materially sentimental person, that it pains me to think that my grandmother's chinaware could soon become an incomplete set. I try to appeal via guilt to my cousin, specifically telling her that Grandma wouldn't like it if she saw what my cousin was doing. After two or three of these appeals, my own mother approaches me ...

... And informs me that my grandmother passed away two to three days ago. No one had told me. Now it suddenly made sense why the entire family was all gathered: to attend my beloved grandmother's funeral. Sad, angry, in shock, I tell my mother "Thanks a fucking lot for telling me now" and walk up the stairs in search of Grandma's bedroom. With my mom in let's-talk pursuit, I have only one guess and have to take the first door that looks like it might be the one. I guess wrong, unfortunately, but it's an enormous bathroom with three doors: two on the wall adjacent to the hallway (one of which I came through and locked behind me, the other of which I find is already locked) and one on a shorter perpendicular wall that would seem to lead into some other room or bedroom. I open this door and discover an enormous bedroom ... along with my only male cousin, who I have not seen in years, sitting at a computer.

Abrupt transition time.

I am now outside, walking away from my grandmother's, partly temporarily running away, partly wanting time to be alone, partly wanting to worry my family on purpose. As I walk away, I see high schoolers in prom dresses and graduation uniforms. It's a made-up local high school's graduation day and proud parents are taking photographs of their sons and daughters. I try not to get in the way of pictures ...

... And wind up in one family's procession. No idea where they're going but I don't try to extricate myself. The girl whose procession this is mentions her "senpai," referring to the group of girls I am near / immediately mixed up in. And I guess this is all the dream needed ...

... To establish the setting as urban Japan. As we walk down a Japanese city sidewalk, I peel off to enter what turns out to be a large casino. It is lightly Star Wars-themed. (Its name used dollar signs in Star and Wars, $tar War$, with some other currency symbol showing up in the forgotten third word of the name.) It is entry by pay only, so I go by the side so as to not get in trouble. The ticket master seems to understand. But he leaves his desk and I, without any immoral intention, wander deeper into the casino and inevitably wind up in its main lobby without having paid to do so. Weeeeeeeell shit.

Activating my gaijin powers, I make a swift exit, ignoring signs that say in Japanese "STAFF ONLY" and walking down staff-only corridors such that I bypass the security checks. Or most of them, anyway. There are a final one or two that I must go through, and I do so with utmost haste, not allowing anyone time to stop me, applying my gaijin radiance as strongly as possible.

I woke up not long after this.
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Old 12-10-2014, 06:25 PM   #129
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I was having a conversation with DCD over AIM about dreams, specifically wet dreams. He told me that there was apparently a way to induce sex dreams: drink a lot of liquid before bed and wear pajama bottoms with a tight waist band. This pressure on the bladder will stimulate the nether regions, and increase the likelihood of having one, the theory goes. Anticipating a dream featuring all of my hot anime waifus, I eagerly tried this out ... all that I got were dreams where I have to go to the bathroom, and I'm searching for a bathroom :\ granted, they're pretty cool and dream-like (I peed in this bathroom that had a fountain in it and a raging river), but still, while others are having awesome sex dreams with this technique, all I get are goddamn bathroom dreams!

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Old 12-22-2014, 03:56 AM   #130
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Context: having traveled home for the holidays, I'm sharing a twin room with my brother and we decide to watch Olymus Has Fallen (which nearly reaches True Lies levels of bad-good).

Later, I wake up screaming and writhing like a fucking nut job in bed desperately clutching the package which it is vitally important that I get to the President (!). My brother is awake, trying to get me to shut up and calm down, which is particularly vital given that I have managed to scratch him all down his legs (from across the room?), push a load of stuff off of various surfaces, open the locked window wide open and repeatedly hit the chest of drawers so hard with my heel that I cracked a massive chunk of it off and sent it flying.

I now have a family that thinks I'm a crazy person and a large number of cuts, bruises and blood blisters down both legs from calf to heel!
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Old 02-11-2015, 06:08 AM   #131
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Had a nightmare where higher beings were harvesting humans for food but humankind was completely unaware of it. I became aware of it as I began to experience hallucinatory visions -- which were in fact me seeing through a 1984-esque veneer the higher beings had put up and now seeing the world for how it truly is. I don't remember all of them; but there was one where a deer put its lips to a fence and then was turned into a crystal-clear nectar and sucked through the fence like 19th-century laundry pulled through a rolling press.

At some point in the dream, I make the decision to allow myself to be harvested so that I can uncover the truth. My dreaming brain couldn't help but to reveal that this was going to lead to a bad end for sure and that now I'd need two movies to cover everything, this story (with the person I was and the doomed path I was on) representing the first movie, our current time one hour in out of two. But anyway, yes: there's a penitentiary a city block in size that is fenced off; to outsiders, it just looks like some building with a fence; but to those unlucky few who touch the fence, they suffer the deer treatment, liquified into a clear, sugary nectar, sucked through the fence to the other side, and reassembled. I allow myself to be harvested in this way, such that I can now enter the harvesting compound.

The dream then diverts to a second plot line. Upon entering the compound, most humans are in a daze and, like stunned cattle, just sort of wander into the prescribed elevators that take then to their destinations. Well, I am with it, and so I go into an elevator of my choosing and operate it myself. You see, everyone who winds up here has received letters (because WHY NOT) and these letters direct you to this harvesting center; and I too received a letter; and the letters inform you of which office you're to go to, based on when you were born. In each office is a hybrid between a prison warden, a torturer, a secretary, and a guidance counselor. The more sadistic personalities will primarily manifest as the former descriptors while the kinder personalities manifest as something much nearer the latter ones. I go on up the elevator, and arrive in the hallway that, if you walk it, will lead you to a number of these offices.

I see a sign above No.3's that is like an old-timey movie theater's (with those movable black letters on a white crinkled board). It has a 1984-esque message on it encouraging people to pick him and suggesting he's a nice guy, but there are certain letters whose color is slightly off that spell out a hidden message warning you to stay the fuck away from this guy. The hidden message is so laughably obvious that I am compelled to take out my cell phone and snap a picture. I then peak in through the small window fitted into No.3's door. I see a room with padded walls, and a black-clothes man is whipping a prisoner with a cat-o'-nine-tails, the victim howling in pain. It's clear that you don't want Guy No.3 to be yours.

I arrive at a secretarial station like when you go to any public service building or doctor's office to sign in. Behind it is a woman who strikes me as a cool chick, even if she is on the human-harvesting villains' side. Best way I can describe her physical appearance is a combination of Aubrey Plaza's Parks and Recreation character combined with Nona from Death Parade. Personality-wise she's more like Christina Ricci's character from Casper only in her 20s or early 30s. (I get the feeling that she is in reality much older -- possibly 800 years old -- but who knows with these mysterious human harvesters.) This woman is No.5, and it seems like she's the one everybody would want to be assigned to. She sees me looking lost and is about to help me out when ...

A man pops up behind an adjacent counter, offering to help me with all the certainty in the world that he's my assigned mentor-warden-whatever. He's a wacky, batty old man. Physically he resembles Mr. Goldberg from Are You Being Served? Fast forwarding, the guy produces a several-feet-long candle wick with wax, lights it, and vanishes. ^^;;

Christina Plaza, meanwhile, is showing her class of students (WHY NOT) a video projection of a biology text. She starts off at a manageable pace but before long she is advancing the pages at a rate of one (two since it's a wide-open textbook, if you know what I mean) every half-second.

Forgotten details. Next thing I remember is that the crowd has cleared and Mr. Goldberg still isn't back. No.5 asks me if I'm okay -- and if I'm even sure that No.6 is my assigned counselor or not. So I rummage through my backpack looking for my letter, I finally find it, and it reveals that people born in the years 1984 and 1985 go to ... No.3, the sadistic torturer. No.5 says, "I wouldn't go there if I were you." And I agree! And fuck the rules. No.5 has taken a liking to me, I like her, and I am more than happy to let her adopt me into her group.

Next thing I know we're in the cafeteria. I am dining with the staff, with No.5 and her friend (No.2? No.1? Who knows) sitting with us. This other woman is a jolly black woman, tall, large-bodied but not obese. Anyway, we're dining and talking. I don't remember what about. When then ...

The cafeteria staff roll out a cow on a dais. The cow is unlike anything I've ever seen before. It looks glazed, its skin shiny and reddish-brown. It has six large breast-like teats. Its head is indeterminable, facing away from me. To look at it, you'd think it was dead, like a roasted pig, but the animal is clearly still alive because employees start to file up and take turns milking the cow's milk into their drinking cups.

The cafeteria staff then wheel a second animal out. This one I forget what I mistook it for at first, but I remember it being the more obvious of the two. Dream-Me realizes what's going on. That isn't a cow, is it? That's a--

Before I can finish my line of reasoning, No.5 shushes me silent. She quietly and seriously warns that I am not to talk about this. I can't help but to perceive that if I were to keep this line of reasoning up that I would be sent to slaughter immediately. But my mind races as my vision falls back to the "cow." I wonder why the transformation has to take place, what fates await us all, etc.

Some Star Wars-esque waste bin droid wants to play Dalek and exterminate me, Christina Plaza and Jolly Black Lady use their psychic powers to inhibit it, and I wake up not long after.

It was a genuinely surprising convergence of the two plot lines there near the end. It seems like we entirely abandoned the humans-as-food plot line for the good-cop-bad-cop plot line, so the sudden reminder that these people -- not even Christina Plaza -- are not nice / are not on mankind's side comes as a shock. Or it did, anyway.
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Old 03-17-2015, 07:58 AM   #132
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Had a really realistic dream where I was working at a restaurant that was also a grade school. I had to juggle taking a quiz in the 5th grade (but at my current age, size, and education) with responsibilities at the restaurant. At one point I go to the computer lab (which bears more in common with a Purdue computer lab) and somebody starts telling a story. I want to crack the joke that it'd be pretty crazy if suddenly Christopher Lee were there -- and as I am in the middle of doing so, who should swivel around in his chair but Christopher Lee! I exclaim, "Christopher Lee! " Others in the room, one to several seconds after me, exclaim "Saruman!" Mr. Lee smiles, says a few words, and then asks us who said "Christopher Lee!" instead of "Saruman!" I step forward and indicate that it was me. Mr. Lee thanks me for recognizing him for him instead of for his one role in the LotR films. And he invites me to have a private lunch with him. I explain that I would have to ditch work to do this but that obviously I'd love to dine with him. His agent explains that she's talked with the restaurant boss and gotten permission for me to skip out for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So I do, and I have a private lunch with Mr. Lee.

Right before that, he asks me where I recognized him from / what roles of his I have seen. I mention that I'm a big fan of his work in the Hammer horror films. (Thanks, Cinemassacre!) He eagerly asks if I know his latest role (and he names it) but I have to let him down with the truth that I do not. So he learns that I'm only a casual fan of his, but it's still okay and he still wants to reward me for not calling him Saruman.

At lunch, I ask him how he feels about his Internet celebrity. I ask him specifically how he feels about people telling the story about how he likely assassinated a man in WW2 and that that's why he knows what it sounds and looks like when a man is stabbed in the back. He politely answers that sometimes he feels it's inappropriate and leaves it at that, his careful selection of words implying that he isn't telling people to quit it and that he sometimes enjoys it. We talk about some obscure kids shows he liked, and so I keep looking for an opportunity to bring up Gravity Falls. Stuff stuff stuff that I forget because forgetting dream details after you wake up. Oh, but one last thing: he pulls out a really beaten-up Raphael (TMNT) action figure from the 1980s. Stuff stuff stuff.

Woke up not long afterwards.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:29 PM   #133
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I've had dysentery two weeks in a row.

I've been trying to narrow down the suspected causes, and I think I've found out - it was a jar of peanut butter I opened two weeks ago, that appears to have toxigenic bacteria in it. I'm in the process of reporting the contaminated food to the CDC, but again, two consecutive weekends of pure agony.

This week was worse. I'd have to go potty at least twice an hour, to the point my rear got rubbed raw and was very painful. A side-effect of so-called "Traveler's Diarrhea" involves massive bloating, where the carbon dioxide (?) or perhaps methane produced by the pathogenic bacteria comes out both ends. This means that in addition to passing gas, there's a massive desire to throw-up. Even drinking mere water, you feel like you want to vomit.

I fancy myself having a strong will, so I resisted all attempts to regurgitate my only way of flushing out the bacteria. That said, my inhibitions are much lower when I'm asleep, especially REM sleep.

How it happened last Friday: I'd try to sleep, and every 30 minutes I'd wake up and void my bowels. So I never got the chance to have a sustained, deep sleep. But in one instance, I did manage to make REM sleep.

It was a dream where I was at work, and I had to complete a urine pregnancy test. Except, in my dream, how you did the pregnancy test was you'd have to drink the urine. And the urine that I was given looked remarkably like the stools I'd been dropping - white, floating pus-like mucous over a dark cloudy brown yellow. It smelled awful (like rotting peanut butter) and was visually repulsive.

I ended up trying to binge that horrific urine, and in my dream the taste was so rancid I gagged and threw-up. This had the surprising chain reaction of causing me to throw-up in real-life, but I regained consciousness just in time to close my mouth and avoid soiling my blankets with my stomach contents.

I raced to the bathroom and with a mighty, diaphragm-induced push, jettison most of my stomach's digest into the sink. Chunks of pizza cheese, improperly chewed up black olive, half-digested lactose and diluted HCL proceeded to clog up my sink's drain. My nostrils swelled in terror as I realized this was a near-identical smell to the sickening urine I'd rinsed my mouth with in that dream. With a painful, prolonged belch, I coughed out the last drop from my belly, the pH imbalance tearing at my esophageal lining as if it were on fire.

This tale doesn't have a happy end. This happened at 3:00 AM. My body continued to be violently thrashed about by the bacteria for the next 8 hours, after which I was subjected to a prolonged, painful fever. Even today, I'm jumpy at every bubble I hear from my small intestine, as if the next explosive bowel movement is right around the corner.

Moral of the story: there isn't one. But fuck Smucker's. I don't know if I will ever have the courage to trust peanut butter ever again.
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Old 03-29-2015, 06:31 PM   #134
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Uh, yeesh. Get well soon. =\ Keep hydrated.

That's, uh, a pretty disgusting dream though, man. ^^; Hopefully you have some good dreams around the corner waiting for you.
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Old 04-01-2015, 08:49 AM   #135
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So I've been playing a lot of KanColle, and I watched the first episode of JJBA before going to bed last night. This is the result of that.

Spoiler: show
My Bizarre Adventure Dream:

Yesterday, I played KanColle all day and watched the first episode of JJBA before going to bed. First I was playing a game where I don’t remember what happens, just that at the end, I had to choose between a good Danny and an apparently evil Danny. I chose the evil Danny because god knows why, and bam, jump scare death. I had one of those moments where I felt like I woke up, but really didn’t. Then I was too scared to open my laptop again for a while, and for some reason I recalled that there were two other options as another route in the game, choosing between an evil and good Kiso. Anyways, I eventually worked up the nerve and reopened the laptop, and immediately closed and deleted the game. I then went downstairs, sent a fleet of Kaga (Dammit dream TTK why is your luck so much better), Hiyou, and Takao on an expedition (Dream TTK is also a fucking idiot). Afterwards, I went to help Yuudachi cook. I think some other things happened here involving a river and game designers(?) but I don’t remember what. But anyways, it then cuts to the three expeditioners, and they’ve been kidnapped by an unknown person, who’s taken Kaga as his wife and is keeping the other two captive. Now back to me and Poi, we for some reason end up going to mainland Japan to get more cooking ingredients, and she runs off to go shopping in a European style market because this is Japan. Something catches my I on a wall, so I look over and see three pieces of paper tacked to it. One has a picture of Kaga, one has Hiyou, and one has Takao and they all say “Missing” since the cops are keeping a better eye on my ship girls than I am. Suddenly, my turn into those of someone watching from the outside, and I’m treating to a dramatic pan and pose of shock, revealing to me that the mystery TTK is none other than Jonathan Joestar. He begins shaking violently as he lets out a loud scream of, “DIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” before taking off down the street at full sprint, with Poi turning to watch him run off, and giving a head tilt and poi of confusion. Suddenly, I’m TTK Jojo again, and I’m busting into Dio’s bathroom. I think I see his head and eyes, but when I swing, they fade into nothingness and I hear his voice in another room. I pursue him, and the same things happens two more times. Then, the next time just as a swing at the fake, the real Dio rushes around the corner and punches me in the jaw. I return it, and after scrapping, we both end up grabbing each others necks in one hand, with our other hands locked. I kick him in the gut, then snap his jugular in two and with my other hands, tear his hand off. It then shows a montage of Jojo searching Dio's mansion with me as the viewer again. The narrators voice comes on and says something like, “Even through much hope, trials, and tribulations, some things simply cannot be recovered. Sometimes, not even the bodies.” As Jojo leaves the house in despair, the camera cuts back inside the house, where it shows the stone mask splattered in blood with many cracks (And it’s now a stone hand with missing fingers for some reason) slowly regenerating, and Dio’s ripped off hand starts to do the same. The I woke up. I probably missed a few details mainly in the beginning, like I think I was originally at some gaming convention where I got the shitty game and remembered there was another developer I wanted to see tomorrow or something. But yeah, that’s what I remember. Dio kidnapped and murdered my Kanmusu. Fuck Dio.
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Old 04-01-2015, 02:09 PM   #136
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Me at first:
Me by the time I reached the end: D:
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Old 09-05-2015, 08:35 AM   #137
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Random fun dream last night.

I suppose everyone has had the experience of the alarm/something fusing into your dream. Yesterday before I went to bed while searching on the internet places with the least tourism. Then in the dream I was in this really rural area which had a few quitel run down shafts and I was cycling there for tourism (I guess?) For some reason, there were portraits of a man (which my dream registered as the dictator; "dictatorship" and "poor tourism" seemed to overlap somewhat according to my search last night) everywhere. And then my alarm rang. I use the phone alarm so the dream!me took the dream!phone out of my pocket and attempted to turn off the alarm, except my phone froze and I was wondering why the heck I can't turn off my alarm. After a few tries, I got fed up and took out my dream!phone's battery, but to the dream!me's confusion, the alarm was still ringing.

Then my brother woke me up because my alarm was making too much noise.
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Old 11-02-2015, 01:23 AM   #138
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I had the strangest dreams when I was little. Here's some:
I was standing in some random dude's office when all of a sudden this huge screen comes out of nowhere. The screen showed an eyeball and I screamed, yelling, "Eyefratch!!" Note that I was about 3 years old. And then Barney the Dinosaur ran in and kicked the huge screen and I hugged him. Then I woke and ran to my parent's room and yelled, "The eyefratch is going to come get me,". LOL.

Anouther one happened like this (I'm like 6 or something here): I was in Times Square with my older sister and we couldn't find our mom anywhere. Suddenly an old lady (looking exactly like my mom but with really gray hair) cameup to us and said, "I'm your mom. Yes. Yes." and it was just really weird.

Nowadays I never really have funny-scary dreams anymore, which kind of upsets me. But they are now either about Pokemon or food. AKA my life.
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Old 06-20-2016, 08:27 AM   #139
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More dream time: So I was at the laundromat with my grandmother and she had to leave with my sister for some reason and I had to stay behind. I'm not really working there so I go outside and take a nap, only to wake up to my mom's ex-husband driving by when he's supposed to be giving me a ride. Push comes to shove I end up walking home, and I end up getting directions from a Chinese woman that sends me to some sort of exocism shop before hand so I can get more directions. I get home in the middle of the night, yatta yatta yatta. Next morning I wake up to find that my grandmother lost her job because I was there and not getting paid (to everyone's bewilderment because it was bullshit) and so I have to go and find a job. I walk around, accidentally walk into a college where I end up meeting a teacher and a group of students and becoming friendly with them, but I end up having to leave because well, I'm not enrolled and I'm supposed to get getting a job. Ensue crying because I have no friends and they were so friendly with me.

I end up walking into a beer company where I meet this weird old man who offers me a job immediately. All I have to do is get things for him when he asks me too and he'll pay me when I do. It seemed like a really good job so I accept, and so he asks me to get the first thing on his list, which was a cup of coffee. Pretty simple, and he pays me like thirty bucks for it. The next thing I don't remember but I had a couple of days to find it, so I leave to go look for it and I meet two of the people I saw at the community college: one of whom was a relative (daughter maybe?) of the woman I met that sent me to the exorcism shop (and has a vague idea of what's going on) and the other one being the cousin (M) of the man I just met. They both agree to help me out with my job because I don't want to lose it, especially since my grandmother lost hers.

Fast forward a week or so, and I just finished item number 4. I realize as I'm looking around that I'm becoming super concerned with my looks where I wasn't before, and that I'm wearing much more feminine clothing and have a more feminine body shape. I'm also starting to lose my doubts about the job itself, despite the doubts from the girl I befriended, who seems to think that there is something really odd with this job, especially since the requests almost always come at inoppurtune times. I tell her there's nothing to really worry about since its a simple job, and as I do...I end up losing my penis. ^^; That alarms her but not really me, as well...I am who I am and she decides to go talk to her mother about it. At this point I'm asked to get item number 5, two Golden Owls that were once used in a game that no one remembers, and I end up bringing him two replicas that his cousin found for me. The guy doesn't get mad but acts amused, saying they're just replicas and I have to get him the original ones. I end up asking a rat (who I'm not sure who he got into this dream, but there's a rat involved) who ends up sniffing out the two "Golden Owls" which actually at this point kind of look like two golden lumps of poo. I bring them to him just in the nick of time, and I get paid. Quite a bit. At this point for getting 5 things I have well over a couple thousand dollars.

It turns out that the cousin had tried to set me up and the daughter (who I don't have a name for) found out what was going on. Turns out I was working for a demon and that if I couldn't meet any of his requests, my soul would be forfeit to him and I'd serve him for all eternity. She then says that the cousin said if I meet his nine requests, I'd be free and with quite a lot of money to boot. So fast forward to item number 9. We have to go to a cooking school, find a secret underground part of it, and grab him a lunch. It's at this point that we find out I'm actually turning into a familiar or a succubus (we didn't know which one) and when the idea of me quitting me job comes up, my response is that he's such a good guy I wouldn't mind working for him again. Cue daughter realizing that this is a trap and there doesn't seem to be a way out, until we get to the school and a guy hands us a shirt.

For reasons unknown to science (and magic, probably), the shirt while I'm wearing it reverts the changes that had happened since I started working, but it also spots me as one of the "good guys", so I can't go into the underground section of the school with it on. Since I have to go get his lunch, I take it off, leaving a worried daughter in the car as I head down an elevator, to a kitchen that was giving out lunches on its last day because of budge cuts, and get his lunch. I come back up, happily with the lunch in tow, when the daughter makes me put the shirt back on. We question why I had a couple of days to this pick-up since it was relatively easy, and we both decide that we have to do something in order to make sure that I don't take this job again (and this point, I had completely forgotten about my family and had probably been missing for weeks, go figure).

We go the exorcist's house, who tells us she can't really help me because I'm not actually possesed, but that she can teach me self-control in order to fight the magic that was placed on me. The daughter thinks about the five weird green pillars placed outside to which the exorcist replies they keep evil out, and she realizes that the shirt was the only reason I was allowed inside. Cue ritual, cue me trying to fight the demonic forces...and end dream.

I don't know what happens after that since I woke up.


I swear I don't dream for weeks on end and then I have one that I remember so well I could make a novel out of it if I knew what I was doing.
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Old 06-21-2016, 03:59 PM   #140
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Okay so very interesting this thread exists because just earlier I was thinking about the really weird dream I had last night. o___o

Long story short: In my dream I was laying in my bed. But there was a child there about... 8 years old? His face was blurry but his hair was brown and curly and I knew immediately he was mine and Sneaze's son. But he was holding a knife and standing over me like he about to kill me. When I saw that I woke up with my heart pounding.

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Old 08-05-2016, 11:33 PM   #141
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Last night I had a dream about the Kalos League. I can't remember exactly what was going on but the battle was between Ash and Shota and when my sister woke me up I got really mad at her. Guess I was enjoying it?
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Old 08-05-2016, 11:38 PM   #142
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Last night I dreamt of people cutting each other at the neck and bleeding all over the place. There where children. Kinda disturbing tbh.
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Old 08-06-2016, 12:21 PM   #143
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Ok it's weird that yesterday I posted on this thread about my other dream, because last night I had a really weird one. I was on a humongous boat with all these Irish people and they kept making me eat "their food" which is apparently bugs that they found on the boat. Then I was sitting on the ground with my mom and I asked her if we had fed our dog before we got on the boat. But that's all I remember except that there were these gay people making out on the top of the boat.

I'm so weird why the heck am I dreaming about this lol.... ^_^
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Old 08-18-2016, 11:21 PM   #144
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I had a dream that I was on the staff of a member of assembly, and Kush was my boss.

I actually looked over and approved his resume before he was hired. I forget many of the details but it was largely, "By god, how great am I".

The whole group drove through a financial district that strongly resembled downtown Birmingham, and we ended up shopping at Costco.


It was very strange.
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Old 10-23-2016, 09:51 AM   #145
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I had a rather complex dream that kept shifting landscape/focus. Bullet points before I forget:

• was riding the bus to work; a few coworkers on bus with me
• got off bus, got right back on when I realized I had left my backpack on the bus, got right back off
• coworkers heading purposefully to this one store/place
• follow
• see people just standing around, some leaving
• learn from guy at counter that this is an office which sometimes makes too much coffee in the morning and, when it does, shares that coffee with the local (Purdue) students; no such coffee today
• leave, not a coffee drinker anyway
• head towards train station
• get on bus that takes me to ???
• there, find myself inadvertently roped into some sort of televised game show, American morning news program segment, or Ellen segment (not really sure)
• host lady with the mic asks us to move so that we're either standing by ??? or else we're standing by people we would be willing to / like to date
• I hate these sorts of things
• and all of the women here I either don't want to date or else are out of my league and already have their Adonis counterparts encircling them
• there is one coworker here though who would be my top pick, I guess
• but no, I don't want to make it awkward
• BRILLIANT IDEA comes to me
• and I just go and sit by myself, near nobody, with my back against the wall
• close my eyes, put mouth below winter coat collar, and pretend to be sleeping/meditating
• someone walks over to me
• three women are now near me
• I can hear the three women alternating between "inorite!?"-style chattering about how cute I am and "He's mine, bitch!"-style squabbling over who will get me
• keep listening
• one of the women brings up how earlier I had said something like "I'll do all the hard work," something like that (not exactly right but I forget the exact words), and yeah I did say this
• she says something along the lines of "Fuck yeah!" and "I'll let him do all the hard work!"
• the other women chattily laugh in agreement
• feels bad man
• having revealed their true colors I am no longer the least bit stoked
• host lady says something about how she's going to give a cheque to some winner
• I've still got my eyes closed
• she gives the cheque to one of the women stood near me, anointing her the Ellen Show-style winner of this segment, I guess
• woman has her hands on my shoulders, tells me to open my eyes
• is a different coworker, and a definite No Thank You
• but I am friends with this coworker, and I'm hoping the feeling is mutual and not eww no thanks she likes me
• she orally indicates it's the former, which good but I'm still worried
• we all go back to the train station to return to work, home, etc.
• at the station, I find a pay phone and call my dad
• the call terminates a minute in; I put in more quarters
• realize I don't know my dad's number, dialed it the first time subconsciously, now that I'm consciously thinking about it I don't know it
• try to call him back, it doesn't work
• pull the change lever. Get several dollars in quarters. Give some to a nearby man who must've also had a terminated call and wanted his money back
• I call Kuno
• I ask Kuno for advice on the whole "coworker I'm not interested in came over to stand by me" situation
• Kuno is too uncomfortable to answer honestly
• Alright, time to head back to work ...
• I get separated from my coworkers because this train station is massive, airport-style, and I get lost in the Super Target portion whereas they make it straight to the train station boarding area
• I miss the train they're on
• When I arrive at the boarding terminal gate, I can see a new train is there, though, and people are starting to board, the din of happy chattering reaching my ears
• Suddenly I also have a huge black garbage bag filled with trash
• Can't very well go to the boarding area with this, now can I?
• Where to dump it, where to dump it ...
• ... Aha! Here we are! An open big cylindrical trash can.
• Janitor gives me the stink eye. I guess he just emptied it. Yeah, he did. He points to the opposite direction and indicates I need to throw my trash away there.
• I go.
• But there's only an office waste paper basket-sized trash can here.
• I awkwardly stuff my huge bag atop it.
• This janitor, btw, looks like an olive-skinned, lazy-eyed Javier Bardem. He's massive, easily 6'3", possibly taller, and has quite a bit of girth. No mustache, normal-cut black hair. Hispanic, probably Mexican.
• He comes over to me, takes my bag, and proceeds down a narrow maintenance/janitorial hall in the wall. The sort that have janitor's closets and circuit breakers, that sort of thing.
• He opens a door and throws my bag inside.
• I thank him and say I gotta go or I'm gonna miss my train.
• He says something, e.g. "Not so fast, amigo"
• I tell him I really gtg
• He says something else. It's clear he's holding me up, preventing me from boarding my train.
• He realizes this too. He sighs and explains.
• "I put a bomb on that train, amigo. You see ..." Reveals he's a terrorist. Reveals he has the detonator.
• Says he doesn't want me to die. At the same time rationalizes why he's going to be killing so many other innocent people.
• He seems genuinely heartbroken about the whole affair.
• So I thank him for sparing my life, assuring him he's a good person deep down inside if he's doing something like that (i.e. sparing me)
• feels fucked up man
• he presses the switch
• I hear a dim explosion in the distance followed by distant but clearer shrieks
• He muscles past, making his escape.
• I backtrack in the direction of the Super Target
• I decide to duck into a men's room nearby, rather than keep going straight
• too bad he saw me
• too bad he also now has decided I have to die
• I go into a men's room stall
• as I do, he reaches the doorway. He's ... now a cat. A white Persian cat standing on his hind legs and wielding a gun
• he fires, killing the man who was leaving the restroom as I entered the stall
• I throw myself to the floor
• he shoots to kill again, barely missing me
• I hide myself behind the porcelain toilet
• his bullets find the toilet or the wall but never strike my exposed arm edges; my head is safe behind the toilet
• I hear, and peek, more cats arriving. There are now four of them, all with guns, opening fire.
• Praying they will run out of ammo or ...
• Three keep firing while one enters the bathroom to shoot me from the side.
• Brain decides I chose poorly / got a Bad End and that's it -- I wake up.

Last edited by Talon87; 10-23-2016 at 09:57 AM.
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Old 10-23-2016, 02:52 PM   #146
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It's funny you bump this thread, Talon, since I took a nap earlier and had a dream we were watching some strange animé where an overweight woman was working as a schoolteacher - in a shopping mall. Where she also acted as an advertiser for one of the stores by wearing a cardboard cutout that made her look slim and attractive (along with another guy who wore a similar getup). After that, we were exploring(?) through the mall and came upon the decapitated corpses of several classic cartoon characters (including Western ones). You were... very excited about this discovery for some reason. ...And then you, er... kinda went axe-murderer crazy? o~o

...This is what I get for slowly being sucked back into animé hell right around Halloween. OTL
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Old 11-01-2016, 11:39 PM   #147
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I had the most random dream last night. I flew to Korea in a pink blow up chair. And when I got there Freddy Fazbear was sitting in a huge field of flowers and talking to himself.

He's been in my dreams lately idk why
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Old 11-01-2016, 11:43 PM   #148
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I had a dream where Donald Trump won the presidential election by a metaphorical landslide, it scarily felt extremely vivid.
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Last edited by Chiko; 11-04-2016 at 12:19 AM. Reason: er, error.
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Old 11-03-2016, 11:57 PM   #149
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Originally Posted by HeroicRein View Post
I had a dream where Donald Trump won the presidential debate by a metaphorical landslide, it scarily felt extremely vivid.
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Old 11-19-2016, 03:28 PM   #150
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I dozed off in the middle of the day and had the strangest dream. I was working as a host, except our host club was in the swimming pool of some big resort. So all of us, the hosts and our clients, were in the water. Suddenly, the water turned into gelatin, because dream physics. So, I climbed up on top of the water and managed to stand up on the surface, and then I somehow put on the Surfing music from Pokemon, because I am a dork.

And then I woke up, and laughed at myself for being such a dork, but then I acknowledged that I would actually do that in real life if I could.

Shaken, not stirred.
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