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Old 04-25-2014, 05:40 AM   #2501
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Talon87 View Post
The image macroer alleges, 20 of the weirdest things about America that Americans don't realize are weird.

My thoughts:

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1. If by "portion sizes" they mean "how much food people consciously plate onto their dinner plates at home," then I can see how this might be weird to some people from some cultures but I don't think it's weird myself. If by "portion sizes" they mean the Small, Medium, and Large standard sizes we have for french fries and soft drinks at fast food restaurants, then I fail to see how this is weird to anyone from a westernized nation.

2. Not ... really ... O_o In suburbia, you might see a flag on one out of every ten properties. In the city, you'll find a few more (atop buildings, hanging off the sides of buildings) but still not that many. I mean, maybe there are more here than other places, but I've never noticed the opposite (a lack of flags) when visiting other countries, so ...

3. It's called mental math, dipshit. You know your sales tax in your state and you factor it in. In answer to your question, those too stupid or too lazy to do mental math tend to underpurchase, i.e. buy ~$15 worth of goods when all they have is a $20.

4. See No.3.

5. This is a recent trend that became popular only in the last fifteen years. What you describe is the way it has historically been in America. Many, many physicians are annoyed by the current "I tell YOU what I want! " trend in the American doctor-patient relationship, but where it will go from here, who knows. It may die out in America ... or it may soon spread to your country. ;o

6. False. Next.

7. True. Next.

8. I think the last time I ever had the stuff I was in the 4th grade, possibly younger. It was not something stocked in our house and I would never buy the stuff today. Nasty.

9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man. ^^; That's an interesting one, that is. Have any of you non-former-UK-colonies-or-UK UPNers felt the same way as the Italian? Yeah, we use "Oh, really? " a lot. In a totally kind, inviting, warm, non-sarcastic way. We can also use it in a snide, sarcastic manner ... but it sounds like the Italian was mistaking the former for the latter in most cases.

10. Too low? You do realize that in some countries people squat and shit into holes in the floor, yes? I dunno. I think toilets' heights are fine. MUST BE BECAUSE I'M AMERICAN. As for the gaps in public restroom stalls that permit people seeing in: it's to allow you to see people's feet without being immodest or intrusive. You can tell that the stall is in use and go use another one. Spoiler: no one wants to peek at you taking a shit and the 0.00001% who do are likely to have given you trouble even in a world with no gaps in the stalls.

11. Depends on the state, really. More common in the American MidWest or the immigrant cities like New York and Chicago, I would say. Once you get away from burgers and hot dogs, I don't think most of the other states would really be in the business of placing pickles on things. And even in Indiana we don't tend to put pickles on anything besides burgers. As for whole pickles, these are stocked in every grocery store but they're not necessarily in every home; and then even for those homes that do have them, most people only eat pickles once in a blue moon. It's not exactly common to find someone who eats whole pickles weekly, let alone daily. In fact, I'd say it's downright rare.

12. If it does not surprise you that Olympians are treated as celebrities despite, in many cases, their being ordinary people with an athletic hobby (see: many of the track and field stars), then you can understand the college football phenomenon. It's pretty much the same thing. If an Olympian is a pre-professional, a college football player is likewise a pre-professional. If the Olympics was originally a venue for amateurs (i.e. non-professionals) to compete, college football championships are similarly a venue for amateurs (i.e. non-professionals) to compete. If the best Olympians might make their way onto pro teams, the best college football players might make their way onto pro teams.

But maybe my Olympic analogy is horribly flawed. (Especially in recent decades with nations fielding more and more professional athletes on their Olympic teams.) And maybe it doesn't even matter because fucking American college football. -_-; ^^;

13. Jaywalking is a crime ... for which you will almost certainly never be arrested or ticketed. Everyone jaywalks. I guess I'd say just don't do it right in front of a police officer or patrol car.

14. A bit of a leading question, though you may not have realized it. You nail it when you identify the sweeter breads: hamburger buns and "sandwich breads". Generic sliced bread isn't that sweet, and non-sliced loaves baked in the bakery are no different from what you'll find anywhere else in the world. Hamburger buns are sweet because ... well, "because they are." That's really all I can say: if you go to a fast food chain like McDonald's or Burger King, the buns there are all very sweet. So it should come as no surprise to you that the hamburger buns sold in the grocery for home use are also rather sweet. But ordinary sliced bread? Not that sweet. Ordinary bakery bread? Ordinary.

15. WELCOME TO AMERICA. I think it's one of those things where it'd be business suicide to be the restaurant that takes away free refills while the others are still offering it. You'd have to convince every single restaurant in the nation to all go in it together to ban free refills to not be screwed over by angry customers, I think. Just isn't going to happen. Soft drinks remain inexpensive to distribute and vend and thus there's no significant pressure to take away free refills anyway. (That $1 cup of soda you bought only costs 10˘: plastic cup, soda syrup, running fees and maintenance fees on the carbonated beverage machine, everything. The profit margin on soda is huge. You could get four free refills and they'd still be making a profit equal to the cost, i.e. total revenue twice costs.)

16. False. Next.

17. WELCOME TO AMERICA!

18. Yeaaaaah ...

19. This is only done in Grades K thru 5, so basically up until around age 11 or so. After that it's no longer practiced. Is it creepy? Yeah. Is it creepy to a child ages 4 to 11? Hell no. Most kids see the pledge as a fun little game. Kids and adults alike enjoy ritual and that's a relatively innocuous one to start the day. And, per the orderly nature of the pledge and the serious atmosphere it creates, it's usually a great way for the teacher to get the rowdy kids calmed down in the early morning and ready to start a new day of learning. But yes, it's still a vestige of McCarthyism that can sound very creepy when you have all of these boys and girls reciting the words like children from The Village of the Damned, I'll give you that.

20. Litigation culture.
Hey look, here's one for the UK.

The big standout for me is 22. Have you BEEN to Australia? Everything is trying to kill you.
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Old 04-25-2014, 05:56 AM   #2502
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Hey look, here's one for the UK.

The big standout for me is 22. Have you BEEN to Australia? Everything is trying to kill you.
Yep. Spiders the size of your hand, angry dropbears falling from gumtrees and dingoes that eat your child. Oh, and a giant palm from the sky coming to crush you everywhere you go*

*Only to those who believe it to be

Oh, and apples^ that fall up.

^They're more like giant cherries.
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Old 04-25-2014, 08:48 AM   #2503
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Ehhhhh, that one doesn't feel nearly as good to me as the reverse list. The biggest problems with this one are that too many of the entries are either sarcastic entries about how the British do things differently from Americans and therefore "wrong" (e.g. #1 with cars and driving) or else are 4chan-style "amirite?" entries (e.g. #4 with the "numberwang", wtf is he on about? , or #21 with bollocks, where Americans clearly have similar constructions like "shit" vs. "the shit").

Comments on select entries:

Spoiler: show
2. I'm not familiar with this, but if it's true then it's funny and what he says is correct.

3. Yeah, I don't understand the rest of the world's disgust with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The two go together as well as mayonnaise and meat.

6. He's obviously wrong about the "every dessert is referred to as a pudding" thing, but it is true that you guys use the term "pudding" much more broadly than we do. To us, a pudding is strictly something like this.

8. Never encountered this. Granted, I can't recall if I ever used a public restroom in the UK either. Always had friends', family's, or hotels' to use.

9. Grown up with it. Don't find it strange.

10. This one's true, I'll give him that. While I dislike it when people crack the tired joke that British cuisine sucks, it is true that native preparations for seafood are startlingly sparse compared with other island nations'. The thing is, though, coming from an American this complaint is an awful case of the pot calling the kettle black. Most American seafood preparations are borrowed from other nations; and most American households' idea of preparing fish consists of nothing more than choosing between 1) a simple bake or 2) a simple bread-'n'-fry.

11. I thought this was only true of older houses. If it's true even of modern ones, then yes, this belongs on the list. It's not necessarily intrinsically weird but it comes across as very alien to Americans, whose clothes-cleaning appliances are generally found in such places as 1) a dedicated room, 2) a bathroom alcove, or 3) a closet. It's not uncommon to even see them 4) in the hallway that connects the house to the garage, provided such a hallway exists and is not the main entrance to the home. Basically you'll find them anywhere except the living room, dining room, kitchen, and bedrooms.

13. Yes.

19. So much so was I not aware that this isn't standard in America, I'm still not even sure if he's right. If he is, this is something engrained in me from growing up with it. If he's not, then his complaint must be a regional thing. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned food "going off" to friends and acquaintances and I can't recall any of them ever giving me curious looks or asking me what on earth I meant.
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Old 04-25-2014, 09:13 AM   #2504
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Decided to check back in on the Justin Bieber deportation petition. Apparently it's gotten 248,429 signatures since it went up on January 23. Keep in mind that this means that even after it hit the 100,000 minimum required for the Oval Office to examine this, an additional 148,429 people signed the petition. Putting it another way, if the U.S. population is roughly 350 million, then roughly one out of every 1,500 Americans has signed the petition. That may not sound impressive, but consider this: in the entire calendar year of 2012, 34,080 Americans died in vehicular accidents. That means that for every person who dies in a car crash this year, there have been approximately seven to eight times as many signatories of Justin Bieber's deportation petition in just a week and a half.
In recent news, Justin Bieber was detained by U.S. Customs at LAX for five hours yesterday. They let him go on his way eventually, but apparently he was held because of the pending charges against him in Florida and Toronto.

The photos of Mr. Bieber in the article provided are a rather sad sight. He looks like a typical white thug, and not just in dress and body art either. Even his mannerisms suggest he is living "da thug lyfe". Sad that he was allowed to turn out this way. Sad that he chose to turn out this way. And sad that such a poor role model continues to enjoy millions of fans.

As for the White House petition to deport Justin Bieber, to the surprise of no one the White House politely declined.
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Old 04-25-2014, 10:16 AM   #2505
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But we don't want Piers Morgan back.
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Old 04-25-2014, 11:51 AM   #2506
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Nobody wants Piers Morgan anywhere but as far away from them as possible.
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:23 PM   #2507
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/gl...itain?s=mobile

On the subject of Britain being sweet as.

That 22 list was indeed a bit lame. Numberwang is awesome though.
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:48 PM   #2508
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/gl...itain?s=mobile

On the subject of Britain being sweet as.
Most of these are so good that commenting on all the good ones would take too long and be too patronizing. Thoughts on the ones that are less obvious to me.

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2. Is there someone named Alan Partridge?

10. Yeah, Father Ted would be a bit of a swing and a miss if you asked most Americans.

11. I don't get it at all. I just read it as "our soles" like it says. Not sure whether it's supposed to be a souls/soles pun or what as even "our souls" makes no sense to me out of context.

12. Don't get it at all.

20. Don't get it.

23. Don't recognize the reference.

24. Eastenders, like Father Ted, would be a swing and miss typically, yes.

30. "Roots Manouevered"? I don't get it.

31. I don't get it.

Most I got, and most weren't even UK-only. Quite a few were really great, and most were still quite good.
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Old 04-25-2014, 12:55 PM   #2509
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>2. Is there someone named Alan Partridge?

Ah ha!

Also the lack of 'Halal, is it Meat You're Looking For?' saddens me.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:00 PM   #2510
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[COLOR="MediumTurquoise"]>2. Is there someone named Alan Partridge?

Ah ha!
Doesn't ring any bells, I'm afraid. The store name strikes me as a solid example of a pun that only Brits or those very much in the know would get.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:02 PM   #2511
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Yeah Alan Partridge relies upon UK knowledge. Also knowing that people from Norfolk are inbred.

I'm saddened that you don't get 31. Del Boy wpuld call you a plonker.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:07 PM   #2512
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I was about to ask you guys to explain "Toad Haul" to me and it suddenly snapped into place. I own the book and read it as a boy. Man. +1 to the list of examples that Talon gets but your average American wouldn't. Considering I almost didn't get it myself ...
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:22 PM   #2513
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If I bought bread from Top Bun, would it taste like cake?
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:29 PM   #2514
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No because we're not yanks.
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Old 04-25-2014, 02:56 PM   #2515
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One benefit I will note about sweet bread: BPK has been hammering me about this, but bread is one of the worst things one can eat for dieting purposes. French bread and similar "plain" non-tasting breads are technically packed full of sugar, but they don't taste like it so it's easier to eat them...back in '80 I'd eat nothing but French bread for my whole day's meal, which was really bad!

Sweet bread reminds you it's bad for you!
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Old 04-25-2014, 05:38 PM   #2516
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BORKED

This is weirdly good.
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Old 04-26-2014, 09:19 AM   #2517
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Old 04-26-2014, 03:59 PM   #2518
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I want to colonize Mars so bad now.
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Old 04-26-2014, 04:05 PM   #2519
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Imperialist.
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Old 04-27-2014, 04:25 PM   #2520
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http://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/gl...itain?s=mobile

On the subject of Britain being sweet as.

That 22 list was indeed a bit lame. Numberwang is awesome though.
Rule Bri-fucking-tannia.

Linking the Numberwang for the confused.
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:13 PM   #2521
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I feel like a fly in a pitcher plant. D: I had an open tab in YouTube and on the right-hand side, I saw the title "Illya v Saber Girlfriend (jap)". I figured it was this one amusing scene from the Fate/stay night anime. Clicked it.

Well ...

I can't say the title was misleading ... OTL

Click here if you've ever wanted to hear Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" in Japanese. Set to scenes from an anime. With even worse lyrics than the original song.

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Listened to the song 1˝ times because I missed some of the lyrics the first time while writing up this post. [/proper use of this thread]

In other news, Avril Lavigne turned 29 last September. God where does the time fly ...
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Old 04-27-2014, 10:09 PM   #2522
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I love this, and the commentary is great as well.

"It's easy to disregard nothingness because there's no thought available to encapsulate it. There's no metaphor that fits because, by definition, once the nothingness becomes tangible, it ceases to exist."

I dunno I think that's really beautifully worded.
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:30 AM   #2523
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I really liked the "If the moon was a pixel" thing too, Concept, only I did not like a lot of the commentary after it started to become more pseudo-science-y and pseudo-philosophy-y.
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Old 04-28-2014, 09:09 AM   #2524
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Not really lingerie related, but you would be AMAZED at how many times an old person goes into a fitting room thinking it's a bathroom and shits all over the place.
Source. Sad. Senile dementia sucks.
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Old 04-28-2014, 12:00 PM   #2525
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So I've had the Archer Vice album on repeat at work today. You can acquire it on iTunes. All from the fifth season of Archer, which everyone must watch.

BORKED
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