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Old 03-11-2020, 03:01 PM   #1
Blastoise
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NO E3 2020: PRESS F IN CHAT

WELL SHIT

Quote:
After careful consultation with our member companies regarding the health and safety of everyone in our industry – our fans, our employees, our exhibitors, and our longtime E3 partners – we have made the difficult decision to cancel E3 2020, scheduled for June 9-11 in Los Angeles.

Following increased and overwhelming concerns about the COVID-19 virus, we felt this was the best way to proceed during such an unprecedented global situation. We are very disappointed that we are unable to hold this event for our fans and supporters. But we know it’s the right decision based on the information we have today.

Our team will be reaching out directly to exhibitors and attendees with information about providing full refunds.

We are also exploring options with our members to coordinate an online experience to showcase industry announcements and news in June 2020. Updates will be shared on E3Expo.com.

We thank everyone who shared their views on reimagining E3 this year. We look forward to bringing you E3 2021 as a reimagined event that brings fans, media, and the industry together in a showcase that celebrates the global video game industry.
THINGS WERE ALREADY LOOKING SKETCHY FOR 2020'S E3 CONFERENCE: SONY ONCE AGAIN DECLINED TO ATTEND (AN ALMOST UNIMAGINABLE OUTCOME IN A YEAR WHERE THEY ARE SLATED TO RELEASE A NEW CONSOLE) AND GEOFF KEIGHLEY WASN'T GOING TO BE INVOLVED WHICH IS SUPPOSEDLY IMPORTANT IN THE WAY THAT GOVERNORS GENERAL IN EX-COMMONWEALTH COUNTRIES ARE ALSO SUPPOSEDLY IMPORTANT

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY THE QUESTIONS OF RELEVANCY THAT HAVE DOGGED E3 FOR THE PAST COUPLE YEARS HAVE REACHED A THRESHOLD WHERE THEY CAN'T BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG OR DISTRACTED FROM BY A TWITCH STREAMER FILMING OTHER DUDES PISSING IN THE MEN'S ROOM

BUT E3 WOUND UP WITH AN UNEXPECTED TRUMP CARD THAT EVEN THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY POSSESSED: TOTAL SYSTEMIC FAILURE ARISING FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC SYSTEM WHERE OUR KAKISTOCRATIC OVERLORDS ARE HILARIOUSLY UNEQUIPPED TO HANDLE ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF LINING THEIR OWN POCKETS AND DELIVERING KICKBACKS TO THEIR DONORS

EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT OVER THE CORONAVIRUS AND THE PEOPLE NOMINALLY IN CHARGE OF THE RESPONSE ARE TRYING TO HANDLE THE OUTBREAK BY 1)ADVOCATING FOR TAX BREAKS FOR CORPORATIONS AND/OR 2)BEING RACIST TOWARDS CHINESE FOOD AND SHOCKINGLY THIS HAS NOT CONVINCED ANYONE THAT WE HAVE SOBER, STEADY LEADERSHIP

AND SINCE WE ALL ARE BELATEDLY REALIZING THAT ELECTING COMPLETE AND UTTER CRETINOUS AMORAL DUMBFUCKS TO THE HIGHEST ECHELONS OF POWER AND RESPONSIBILITY MIGHT HAVE ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES OUTSIDE OF "OWNING" OUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS EVERYONE IS RUNNING AROUND LIKE CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF BECAUSE NO COHERENT UNIFIED EFFORT IS FORTHCOMING

UNIVERSITIES ARE CANCELLING CLASSES

COMPANIES ARE ASKING WORKERS TO WORK REMOTELY FROM HOME, AND WORKERS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY FERAL AS THEY REALIZE THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY WEAR PANTS WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A CONFERENCE CALL AND THUS FALLING EVER FURTHER FROM GOD'S LIGHT

PANDA EXPRESS WILL PROBABLY FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY EVEN THOUGH THEIR CHINESE FOOD IS ABOUT AS CHINESE AS I AM*

BUT IN CHAOS THERE IS ALSO OPPORTUNITY, PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE A CLUSTERFUCK OF A TRADE SHOW HOPING TO USE A CRISIS AS AN EXCUSE TO COVER FOR YOUR DEEPER STRUCTURAL FAILINGS

SO THIS WILL LIKELY ALLOW E3 TO DELAY ITS DAY OF RECKONING

THAT IS UNTIL ALL THE VENDORS REALIZE THAT "RELEASING SHIT ON YOUTUBE" MEANS THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY A BUNCH OF MONEY TO A MIDDLEMAN AND SPEND LOTS OF MAN HOURS ON A VERTICAL SLICE WHOSE ONLY VALUE WILL BE TO STREAMERS HOPING TO HYPE UP THEIR OWN BRANDS BY COMPLAINING THAT TIFA'S TITS ARE TOO SMALL DUE TO THE PERIDIOUS SCHEMES OF THE ETERNAL SJW

SO BASICALLY I WAS WRONG AND NINTENDO HAS BEEN PLAYING THE LONG GAME THIS ENTIRE TIME

I FULLY EXPECT NINTENDO TO RELEASE A TRAILER OF SAKURAI LAUGHING IN OUR FACES FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT BEFORE ANNOUNCING YET ANOTHER SWORD-WIELDING FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER

AND FRANKLY WE WILL ALL DESERVE IT

*
Spoiler: show
I AM ANGLO-SAXON AS FUCK, WHICH IS INCIDENTALLY ALSO A FAIRLY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF PANDA EXPRESS' MENU
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Old 03-11-2020, 04:53 PM   #2
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I wouldn't describe Panda Express as Anglo, I'd describe it as salty.

Also I think Sony basically killed E3 by deciding to work from home. Nobody cares about Microsoft and Nintendo already has feedlots of tasteless, ravenous pigs who will slurp down anything with the Nintendo logo on it.

All this fear about the coronavirus too. It's the most fun week of hallucinations any of you will have in your life! Get infected today!
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Old 03-11-2020, 05:12 PM   #3
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you're acting like there's just those three presenting, but yeah this was a long time coming. Sony and Nintendo are both doing their own pre-recorded shit already, and chances are everyone else will do the same thing at about the same time, just not live. Chances are we'll still have something to shittalk at the time.

inb4 they start flogging a virtual E3 experience.
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Old 03-11-2020, 07:54 PM   #4
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I've been having conversations with BPK about what seems like the slow death of video games. I'm seeing things superficially as impressive as StarCraft II appear as F2P browser games from Chinese companies, and the drums in the deep are beating that the end of consoles are near, Switch sales be darned.

Well, maybe Switch sales not, because Nintendo appears to have somehow??? successfully transitioned its IP from video games to lifestyle brands. I don't know how, it seems overnight, but they're well prepared to handle the posts-console world if they just figure out how to consolidate control over multimedia like Pokemon.

Microsoft really needed E3 and I think that if not for some recent success, Sony's negotiating power and perception would have forced them along. It's stupid to think that Directs are a substitute for E3, they're a supplement.

Sony is actually torched right out outside of the video game department. Columbia only just had a dead-cat bounce with Jumanji and the new Spiderman series (+ Spiderverse). I think that gave them enough gumption to turn down E3 and focus on other things.
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Old 03-13-2020, 05:24 PM   #5
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