What happened to the I'm Going To Hell thread?

[Doppleganger]

This is superficially similar to Talon's earlier fight video but I'm sure it's real. Apparently, it was a fight over a seat.

[Talon87]

Hmm. Your site didn't look trustworthy -- my AdBlock told me it wanted me to make a direct IP connection to an unregistered IP address, no dice! -- so I looked for it on Youtube instead. Was this it, Doppel?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtZDHATFAXM

[Doppleganger]

Bingo.

Translation from the earlier link -

Originally Posted by WSHH

Chinese Lady fighting with Black Lady over a seat in a san francisco muni in chinatown. Heres the TRANSLATION
Old Man#1(0:01 Beat that bitches ass. Old Lady#1(0:02): Don't hit her. Chinese Lady in the Pink(0:23): Don't let that bitch bully you. Chinese Lady: (0:09): This bitch got the nerve to yell at me for me asking her politely if i may sit down. (0.4: If that bitch didn't want to let me sit down don't mean she got to bitch at me. (0:59): I didn't yell at you bitch why you going off on me. If I don't stand up for myself, she won't get scared. (1:44): Dare to fucking pick on chinese people? (2:05): This bitch hogging the seat and I asked nicely if I may sit and that bitch kept hogging the seat. She has no heart, always bullying chinese people. Old Man#2(1:26): Hit that bitch. Old Man#3(1:33): Beat that bitch ass. Old Lady#2(1:37): Don't fight no more. Old Man#2((1:59): Beat the fuck out of her!

[Talon87]

You got my hopes up by comparing it with the martial arts videos I'd linked last week. I was expecting the Chinese lady to go kung fu on her ass. Instead I just saw a fistfight / brawl with no martial arts skill whatsoever. (And LOL at the attempted jumpkick.) Oh well.

+10 to the Chinese girl who stopped the fight. The Chinese woman was out of control once the black woman had fled. It's clear who won the fight, ma'am, so calm down and take a seat.

LOL if those two women ever meet again on the same bus!

[Doppleganger]

I dunno, that Chinese lady impressed me because of how quickly she turned things around. I have no idea who started it - maybe the black woman was a Rosa Parks, or maybe she was just being stereotypically abrasive. I've met and gotten into verbal spars with black women on busses just like her, they're very trigger happy with the tongue lashing and do have very self-centered attitudes.

I know from experience that the Chinese lady wouldn't have laid a finger on the black one unless she felt more threatened than what was shown in the first part of the video. Once the strike happened, though, all bets were off.

I've seen a video somewhere of something similar to what you hoped. There was some car accident in Ukraine or something, and a bunch of guys came out and started a brawl. Eight dudes ganged up on one guy, and he took a boxing stance and beat six of them in the span of 15 seconds before backing off (the other two guys backed off too). I'll have to look for it...

[Talon87]

No need. I've seen it before, too, and it may have even been linked in this very thread. If not, then my dad must have shown it to me. But I've already seen the video you're talking about.

[Lady Kuno]

I get the best spam mail. This was sent to my spam.

Spoiler: show

From
[email protected]

Subject
Big penis like a girl!

I couldn't help but laugh and tell everyone I know.

[Talon87]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

That is gold. Can you take a screencap (feel free to censor private bits) and post it? I'd LOVE to save that to my folder of funny pictures.

[Lady Kuno]

Spoiler: show

[Talon87]

Thanks, Kuno.

So apparently, one of my best friends irl is new best friends (i.e. within the last year) with Nedroid irl. As in, the Nedroid that Zora likes. As in, holy shit I had no idea that a nerd celebrity lived in Indiana. Found this out tonight when my buddy tweeted that he'd been to see a film with his brother and Nedroid. Needless to say, I phoned my friend immediately to confirm that my eyes were not playing tricks on me. What a small world, huh?

[Jerichi]

Just looked at that video Talon posted a while ago.

Jesus Christ that's one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. It looks like it's totally faked but it's hard to say it is the way they react and their registers.

[Doppleganger]

Originally Posted by Talon87

What a small world, huh?

I can match that. Will post about it tomorrow.

[Doppleganger]

Russian Fishing.

Completely unbelievable.

[Talon87]

The moment the bear climbed into the vehicle, I knew how that video was going to end. And here I had been hoping that the video wasn't staged.

[Doppleganger]

I've been thinking about how it could have been staged, but haven't come up with any answers. Maybe the bear was trained, and there were three people in the van to throw out the stuff? It's curious that once the bear gets in the van, it disappears completely from view. The trunk door closing? Possible in this day and age with automation.

But starting the van and having it arc so cleanly is what stumped me.

[Talon87]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

I've been thinking about how it could have been staged, but haven't come up with any answers.

I think it's easy. Here's one possible explanation (mine) ...

1. A perimeter fence was set up around this area. The bear was then let loose into the area. He's a stage bear, not a wild bear, and he responds to certain cues.
2. One of the men in the tree is the bear's handler. The handler signaled to the bear somehow to come on over to the tree and then signaled just as easily to the bear that it needed to go away.
3. The bear is then lured into the SUV, either by the promise of treats (e.g. raw fish) or else by a signal from his handler -- who could at this point already be inside the SUV. Keep in mind: any obvious audio signals could be (and would have to be) edited out later, but things like dog whistles could apply. (I don't know much about bears but I do know that bears and dogs are closely related.)
4. The SUV's tinted windows and the glare from the sun on the snow together don't allow you to see inside the SUV.
5. So the bear crawls in ...
6. And the camera quits rolling. This may not even be the first time the camera's quit rolling (see #2, #3 for other places where the camera might have been temporarily stopped), but this is certainly the most necessary time. The camera is able to quit rolling and then seemingly "seamlessly" start right back up at a later point because of our expectations for handheld films. We expect there to be a naturally shaky nature to the filming, and this makes the disjointedness of the camera not being in the same position when you turn it off as it is when you turn it back on. To us, it feels like just another hand-shaky moment of the camera. Especially if the cameraman deliberately jostles a bunch right as he's turning it off and right as he's turning it back on. You'll never what hit you.
   
   1:15 is probably the moment it happened since the cameraman unexpectedly diverts the camera to his leg, slams it close to his pants, and then pulls it back up and refocuses. He probably slammed it to his leg, turned it off, and when he turned it back on he had it still on his pant leg and he rustled it about a bit and pulled it back up.
7. While the camera's stopped, the bear is led back out of the SUV and (presumably) into his cage off-camera. The perimeter fence is taken down (to allow for the later escape by the SUV), the bear's handler (if the man who ends up chasing after the SUV) returns to the tree, and assistants climb into the SUV. One climbs into the driver's seat, another climbs into the trunk.
8. The guy in the trunk tosses stuff out, trying to make it look like a bear knocking stuff out of the trunk. You decide for yourself how convincing a job he did. He then slams the trunk door shut.
9. Meanwhile, the other guy starts the ignition and drives away.
10. The other guy in the tree (who might be the bear's handler, or who may just be another guy on set) then drops out of the tree and gives chase. The end.

There's no need to control the SUV via remote control. Because you can't see the bear in the driver's seat, you know that you also can't see any humans. That's all the tip you need to tell that a human could easily sit in the driver's seat without being seen. Had we been able to see the bear in the driver's seat, then we'd have to worry about entertaining theories about remote control operation and the like. But since we can't even see the bear, this completely removes the barrier to the (likely correct) argument that there wasn't even a bear in the SUV at that point.

[Loki]

The SUV could also have had been remote rigged like they do in Mythbusters.

[Talon87]

Originally Posted by Loki

The SUV could also have had been remote rigged like they do in Mythbusters.

Umm ...

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

Possible in this day and age with automation.

Originally Posted by Talon87

Had we been able to see the bear in the driver's seat, then we'd have to worry about entertaining theories about remote control operation and the like.

Originally Posted by Loki

GUYS! DID YOU CONSIDER IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN REMOTE CONTROLLED!? :O

Yes, yes we did.

[Loki]

Sorry. Everything is TL;DR when you have to leave in the next minute.

EDIT IN: Also, Dopple's automation reference seems like it only refers to the trunk door closing on it's own, which is a built in function of a lot of SUVs.

[Concept]

This is way too accurate. I love it.

[Talon87]

The story of the shafted eBay auctioneer who got revenge! Pretty funny.

[Doppleganger]

Originally Posted by Concept

This is way too accurate. I love it.

Originally Posted by Talon87

The story of the shafted eBay auctioneer who got revenge! Pretty funny.

Oh man, both are killers. I feel like a combo breaker right now. >.>;

[Talon87]

Le Wrath di Khan, Robot Chicken's operatic spin on Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

AMAZING. This would be incredible to watch in its entirety. I would so totally watch it, provided it had English subtitles generated in real-time on a screen somewhere near the stage for us to read. It just isn't the same to have a pamphlet with the English beneath the Italian or, worse yet, to have no English translation provided to you at all. D:

[Talon87]

How Star Wars Should Have Ended

How The Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended

How Willy Wonka Should Have Ended

How Spider-Man 3 Should Have Ended

"I thought this would be the best time! "
"I TOOK A GRENADE TO THE FACE, DUDE! "

But I think, by far, the best one is ...

How The Terminator Should Have Ended - a crossover between the Terminator franchises (mostly films 2, 3, and 4) and one of the best cinema franchises of all time

[Loki]

The Terminator one is definitely their best work.

Empire Strikes Back one is also a good LOLing. Much better than Episode IV.