The Bachelor

[Jerichi]

SORRY I JUST DO NOT SEE NOLA AS ROMANTIC

OH JAIMI IS FROM HERE THOUGH THAT'S ALWAYS SORTA NICE

(ALSO LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THE SHOW IS DEFINITELY RUNNING OUT OF MONEY BECAUSE THIS IS NOT AN EXOTIC LOCATION IN THE SLIGHTEST AND THEIR HOTEL ROOMS ARE NOT GREAT AND LOOKING OUT OVER A BUNCH OF UGLY BUILDINGS)

OKAY DATE CARD

OKAY QUICK EXPLANATION ON THE TWO ONE ONE - TWO GIRLS ENTER, ONE GIRL LEAVES

THEY'LL SAVE IT FOR LAST THOUGH PROBABLY THE ONE ON ONE IS PROBABLY FIRST

Spoiler: show

LAWYER

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE

WHOOO <3 THIS IS GONNA BE GR8

ALSO LET'S JUST BASICALLY ASSUME THAT ALL OF THE B ROLL THAT'S NOT A DATE IS TAYLOR AND CRAZY MOFO GIVING EACH OTHER THE STAREDOWN SO WE'LL SKIP THAT UNLESS IT'S PARTICULARLY JUICY

[Jerichi]

LAWYER AND NICK GO SHOPPING OR SOMETHING

THEY REALLY ARE A CUTE COUPLE THOUGH

BUT THIS IS BORING

BEIGNETS THO

OMG A SECOND LINE PLAYS FOR THEM AND THEY DANCE IN THE STREETS WITH THIS BAND I WOULD LOVE TO DO THIS

THE GIRLS SEE THEM IN THE STREET FROM THE HOTEL LOL

AND THEN THEY GO DANCING IN A BAR THIS SEEMS LIKE FUN

[Jerichi]

NEAT THEY GO TO A MARDI GRAS STORAGE WAREHOUSE FOR DINNER THAT'S PRETTY COOL

ALSO SHE'S DRINKING BEER RESPECT

OMG LAWYER'S DAD IS A FEDERAL JUDGE THAT'S SUPER COOL

AWWWW HE SAYS HE'S SUPER INTO HER <3

MAN OH MAN I HOPE SHE GET'S FAR

EVEN IF SHE DOESN'T WIN THERE'S THE POSSIBILITY THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE TO PICK A NON-WHITE GIRL FOR THE BACHELORETTE (I'D ALSO TOTALLY WATCH HER SEASON SHE'S GREAT)

MEANWHILE DATE CARD

TIME FOR THE GROUP DATE

Spoiler: show

TILL DEATH DO US PART

QUIRKY
KRISTINA <3
SHARK GIRL
SOUTHERN GIRL
JAIMI
VANESSA <3
DANIELLE M <3
WHOTNEY
JASMINE
DANIELLE L

GUESS WHO'S GOING ON THE 2 ON 1

GUESS WHO'S HEAD HAS ALREADY INFLATED TO TWICE ITS SIZE

ANYWAY MORE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT THE REST OF THE LADIES ARE GOING TO A HAUNTED HOUSE THIS GON BE FUN

[Jerichi]

THIS PLACE DEFINITELY USED TO BE A PLANTATION JUST SAYIN

IT'S PRETTY NGL AND ALSO SUPPOSEDLY HAUNTED

HAHAHAH RAVEN IS GONNA "REBUKE THE GHOST IN THE NAME OF JESUS"

ALL OF THE GIRLS BELIEVE IN GHOSTS SO THAT'S GONNA BE GOOD

THIS PLACE HAS A FANCY ASS BAR TOO

OMG MINT JULIPS MMMMMMMM PLEASE YES

THE BARTENDER/CARETAKER SELLS THE HAUNTED THING WELL

THE MAIN GHOST IS A LITTLE GIRL WHO DIED OF YELLOW FEVER WHO HAD A DOLL THAT SHE LOVES

JASMINE MAKES AN ATTEMPT TO RATIONALIZE THIS BUT IT IS VERY CLEAR THAT SHE IS NOT ABOUT THIS

OH WEIRD THEY STILL HAVE THE DOLL SHE HAD

JAIMI IS READY TO THROW DOWN WITH THIS GHOST

OMG THEY FIND A OUIJA BOARD

THEY SET THIS UP BECAUSE THE LIGHTS GO OUT INSTANTLY LOL

[Jerichi]

OKAY ABC YOU GUYS ARE NOT REALLY KNOWN FOR HIGH PRODUCTION VALUES SO YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TRY KEEPING TO YOUR ELEMENT

HE TAKES THE GIRLS OUT TWO AT A TIME TO DO THE LITTLE SCRIPTED ADVENTURES THE PRODUCERS COOKED UP

THE DOLL IS MISSING APPARENTLY

JASMINE IS LIKE "YA'LL ARE CRAZY THIS IS DUMB"

HAHHAHA JASMINE TOUCHED A STATUE AND A CHANDELIER FELL

NICK IS SAYING WHAT HAPPENED AND HE SOUNDS LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLD TALKING ABOUT HOW HIS BABY BROTHER BROKE HIS BICYCLE

UGH CRAZY MOFO AND TAYLOR PREPARING FOR THEIR DATE THIS IS STUPID SKIIIIIP

THOUGH LIKE FUCKING CRAZY MOFO ORDERED FIVE DINNERS FOR HERSELF

NICK MAKES SOME OBVIOUSLY SCRIPTED JOKES ABOUT THE GHOST BEING ANOTHER GIRL AND GIVING HER ATTENTION AND IT'S LAME AND PROBABLY UNINTENTIONALLY CREEPY

JASMINE IS STARTING TO FREAK OUT THOUGH SHE'S OBVIOUSLY GETTIN PLAYED BY THE PRODUCERS

THIS WHOLE THING IS CLEARLY THE PRODUCERS GETTING BORED WITH THIS SHOW AND FUCKING WITH THE GIRLS FOR FUNSIES

[Jerichi]

WHY IS LAWYER TALKING TO CRAZY MOFO GIRL ARE YOU REALLY THAT BORED

IS TAYLOR REALLY MISUNDERSTOOD? SHE WAS KINDA UNDERWHELMING UNTIL THIS DRAMA BEGAN

OH WELL OKAY DATE CARD TIME YOU KNOW WHO IT IS ALREADY

CARD SAYS "MEET ME IN THE BAYOU"

WOW WELL CRAZY MOFO IS GONNA BE OUT OF HER ELEMENT SO THIS WILL EITHER GO HORRIBLY OR GREAT

BACK TO THE HAUNTED HOUSE THIS IS GETTING KIND OF BORING NOW

THOUGH DANIELLE AND VANESSA HAVE A REALLY CUTE LITTLE BONDING TIME SO THAT'S NICE YAY FRIENDS

I WONDER HOW MANY GIRLS STAY FRIENDS AFTER GETTING KICKED OFF

HONESTLY I HAVE NO IDEA WHO'S GETTING THE ROSE HERE THEY BARELY SPENT ANY TIME ON HIM AND THE GIRLS

AWWW DANIELLE M I DO LIKE HER A LOT BUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS A LITTLE BORING

NEXT UP: TWO GIRLS ENTER, ONE GIRL LEAVES

[Jerichi]

I BET CRAZY MOFO VOTED FOR TRUMP

#NOTMYBACHELORCONTESTANT

ALRIGHT SWAMP DATE LET'S GO (ALSO I LOVE NICK'S SHIRT AND TOTALLY WANT IT)

YES THERE ARE ALLIGATORS IT IS THE BAYOU

LIKE OKAY THO WTF ARE THEY DOING THEY'RE JUST IN THE SWAMP

UM OKAY SO THEY'RE DOING LIKE A VOODOO CEREMONY?

THERE ARE A STRANGE NUMBER OF WHITE PEOPLE AT THIS VOODOO CEREMONY

AT LEAST THE TAROT READER SEEMS A LITTLE LESS WHITE

THEY ARE REALLY BRANCHING AWAY FROM THE CONSERVATIVE WHITE CHRISTIAN CROWD THIS SEASON

THE TAROT READER SENDS CRAZY MOFO AWAY WITH NICK SO SHE CAN LIE TO HIM MORE (AND ALSO SHE'S AWFUL SO SHE CAN PROBABLY SENSE HOW AWFUL HE IS)

THE TAROT READER TELLS TAYLOR NOT TO ENGAGE IN THE FIGHT (PROBABLY GOOD ADVICE)

SIGH NOW NICK BRINGS UP THAT CRAZY MOFO WAS BEING SALTY AND BOUGHT IT TOTALLY

GREAT IT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THESE LIKE WE TOTALLY KNEW IT WAS THAT BUT IT TOTALLY DIDN'T HAVE TO BE

WTF CRAZY MOFO ASKS THE READER HOW TO MAKE A VOODOO DOLL

JESUS THIS GIRL IS VINDICTIVE

ALSO MY GOD SHE SHOULD WORK IN A MOVIE THEATER BECAUSE THIS BITCH IS PROJECTING

[Jerichi]

TAYLOR SAYS CRAZY MOFO'S RELATIONSHIP IS BUILT OFF WHIPPED CREAM AND LIES

WHOOO TAYLOR CALLS OUT CRAZY MOFO FOR LYING TO HIM

TAYLOR YOU KIND OF NEED TO BACK OFF THIS IS NOT REALLY HELPING YOU REALLY

GREAT OKAY LET'S SEND SOMEONE HOME I'M A LITTLE OVER THIS

OH MOTHERFUCKER HE SENDS HOME TAYLOR

JESUS CHRIST RAPIDLY LOSING ALL RESPECT FOR YOU NICK

LIKE TAYLOR AGAIN IS TOTALLY NOT INNOCENT HERE BUT FUCKING CRAZY MOFO IS A GODDAMNED CHILD AND RIDICULOUSLY MANIPULATIVE

GOD I AM ALREADY SICK OF THIS BEING THE CORRINGE SHOW PLEASE SEND HER HOME SO WE CAN FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE

POOR GIRL YOU LET YOURSELF GET RAILROADED BY A CHILD

[Jerichi]

UGH CORRINE'S DINNER BARF

CAN WE SKIP TO THE ROSE CEREMONY AND/OR CLIFFHANGER

CLIFFHANGER I GUESS

HONESTLY CAN WE END AN EPISODE WITH A ROSE CEREMONY FOR ONCE

[Jerichi]

OH GOD WHY THE CLIFFHANGER IS TAYLOR NOT ACCEPTING THE RESULTS

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAH SHE GETS CRAZY MOFO SENT HOME THOUGH I GUESS I'LL TAKE IT

FUCKING SHARK GIRL AGAIN WHO IS WEIRDLY AFRAID OF NICK CAGE

OMG AND HE HAS A NICK CAGE MASK LOLOLOLOL

OKAY LIKE THIS GIRL DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE HERE BUT GOD SHE IS A GREAT SOURCE OF COMEDIC RELIEF

>"Bachelor Would-you-rather: hear more about emotional intelligence or Jade and Tanner's wedding on the next episode?"

JADENTANNER'S WEDDING FOR SURE

[Jerichi]

YOOOOOO IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN

WHO'S READY TO SEE CORRINGE GET KICKED TO THE CURB

I KNOW I SURE AM

[Jerichi]

RECAP TAYLOR CRASHES THE PARTY TO TATTLE ON CORRINGE/CRAZY MOFO

IT'S AWKWARD AS FUCK BUT W/E

IDK ALL THE GIRLS TALK AND ARE SHOCKED THAT TAYLOR IS BEING SENT HOME

ETC ETC

TAYLOR LAYS DOWN THE LAW

MAN NICK YOU FUCKED UP THO

HE COMES BACK TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED AND UMMMMM

HE DOESN'T SEND HER HOME?????

WTF HONEY YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATED TO THE MAX

"IM A GOOD PERSON UNTIL YOU GIVE ME A REASON NOT TO BE" UM YEAH YOU'RE KIDDING YOURSELF DEAR

[Jerichi]

OKAY COCKTAIL PARTY/ROSE CEREMONY

IT'S IN ANOTHER FORMER PLANTATION BECAUSE LOL LOUISIANA

SHARK GIRL HOW ARE YOU STILL HERE

SHITTY SHIT SHIT, DANIELLE AND LAWYER ALL HAVE ROSES FYI

WELL IN A SHOCKING TWIST OF FATE THERE IS NO COCKTAIL PARTY

SOOOO

WE'RE ACTUALLY STARTING TO GET DOWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE MEMORABLE AND INTERESTING SO IT'S A LITTLE TENSE

ROSE CEREMONY

Spoiler: show

THE ROSÉD
(I MISSED THIS ONE SORRY)
RAVEN (SOUTHERN)
VANESSA (WHOOO)
THE OTHER DANIELLE
JASMINE

FINAL ROSE ALREADY????

Spoiler: show

WHITNEY WHY WHO EVEN IS THIS GIRL

WELL THAT MEANS QUIRKY GIRL, SHARK GIRL AND JAIMI ARE GONE

THE PRODUCERS ARE LETTING HIM GET RID OF THE COMIC RELIEF GIRLS/INTERESTING GIRLS WHO WON'T ACTUALLY GET ANYWHERE ANYWAYS

OH SHARK GIRL YOU WEIRD AS SHIT BUT YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE SOMEDAY WHO LIKES DOLPHINS AS MUCH AS YOU

WHO THE FUCK IS WHITNEY THO

THEY'RE GOING TO SAINT THOMAS??? THAT'S... NOT TERRIBLY EXOTIC

MAN THE BUDGET IS REALLY CLEARLY TANKING

[Jerichi]

BEAUTIFUL YET GENERIC TROPICAL ISLAND THAT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE TECHNICALLY A DOMESTIC FLIGHT (REMEMBER INTERNATIONAL FLIGHTS ARE EXPENSIVE)

THEIR ROOMS ALSO SEEM KINDA CHEAP LOL

HOW DID THEY KNOW NICK IS ON THE PLANE THAT JUST HAPPENS TO FLY BY????

WHITNEY WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU????

OH DATE STARTS NOW!

AND IT'S KRISTINA :O!

TEHY FLY INTO A SEAPLANE FOR A CHANGE BUT THEY DO ALL THE SAME SHOTS AS HELICOPTERS

I REALLY WANT TO BE THIS GIRLS FRIEND ACTUALLY SHE'S PRETTY COOL

AWWW JASMINE IS FEELING STRESSED BY NOT GETTING THE 1 ON 1

THEY'RE DRINKING BEER INTERESTING

SHE HAS 10 SIBLINGS WOW AND SHE'S ADOPTED MAN

SHE'S PRECIOUS

I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA WIN BUT I LIKE HER

[Jerichi]

FUN FACT COURTESY OF VANESSA: ST. THOMAS WAS OWNED BY THE DANES AND 100 YEARS AGO WAS

THE HOUSE KEEPER COMES IN AND CORRINGE ADOPTS HER AS HER SLAVE NANNY

NICK AND KRISTINA ARE HAVING A LOBSTER DINNER IN A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN

AWWW SHE WAS REALLY REALLY POOR GROWING UP AND HER MOM KICKED HER OUT

AND HER MOM DIED ((((

AWWWWWWWWWWW I WANT TO BE HER FRIEND SHE SEEMS REALLY NICE

MAN SHE WAS IN AN ORPHANAGE FOR LIKE EVER

SHE HAS A LEGITIMATELY GOOD AND INTERESTING AND COMPELLING BACKSTORY

OKAY PRODUCERS YOU ARE SHITTY IN YOUR CASTING 99% OF THE TIME BUT YOU GUYS HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK WITH KRISTINA

AWWWW THEY HAVE A STEEL DRUM BAND AND A BUNCH OF WOMEN IN BIG WHITE DRESSES DANCING AROUND THEM THIS IS REALLY WONDERFUL

UH OH DATE CARD

Spoiler: show

LOVE'S A BEACH

LAWYER
RAVEN
VANESSA
CORRINGE
NEONATAL NURSE DANIELE
JASMINE

OH NO JASMINE GOT NO ONE ON ONE

AND THE OTHER DANIELLE AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GOT A TWO ON ONE

SO UM YEAH BYE WHOEVER YOU ARE

[Jerichi]

UP NEXT: CORRINGE GOES HOME

THIS DATE IS KINDA BORING AND PREDICTABLE THEY'RE ON THE BEACH IN BIKINIS AND GET DRUNK AND CORRINGE STEALS THE SPOTLIGHT

JASMINE IS GETTING A LITTLE AGGRESSIVE

GIRL I GET THAT YOU'RE FRUSTRATED BUT BRING IT IN HONEY

SO THIS IS THE GROUP DATE WHERE EVERYONE GETS SICK OF GROUP DATES AND REALIZES HOW DUMB THEY ARE

ALSO EVERYONE IS PROBABLY TOO DRUNK SOOOO

[Jerichi]

WELL THAT DATE WAS A TOTAL SHITSHOW AND EVERYONE GOT DRUNK AND EMOTIONAL AND NOW NICK HAS TO TRY TO SALVAGE IT

HE DOES THE RIGHT THING AND TAKES SOMEONE WHO IS NOT CORRINGE OFF FIRST

EVERYONE'S STARTING TO FREAK OR SOMETHING IDK

JASMINE IS STARTING TO SELF DESTRUCT

WHITNEY IS NOT SURE WHY SHE'S GOING ON THIS 2 ON 1 (IT'S BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE DEAR)

RAVEN IS LIKE "OH MAN JASMINE YOU NEED TO FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT"

AFTER JASMINE HAS HER FREAKOUT NICK COMES TO STEAL HER AND WELL

SHE CONFRONTS HIM ABOUT NOW FEELING VALIDATED SIGH

THIS IS A TOTAL TRAINWRECK UNSURPRISINGLY

AND THEN SHE SAYS THAT SHE WANTS TO CHOKE HIM



EEEEEEEYEAH YOU PROBABLY NEED TO GO HOME DEAR

HE SENDS HER HOME PROBABLY FOR THE BEST

[Jerichi]

WELL 2 ON 1 TIME

I WONDER WHO'S GOING HOME

IS IT THE GIRL THAT HE'S ACTUALLY TALKED TO AND ESTABLISHED A RELATIONSHIP WITH

OR THE GIRL NO ONE KNOWS

HMMMM

WOW HE GOES IN FOR THE KILL AFTER LIKE 5 MINUTES WELL DAMN

YEAH SO UNINTERESTING AND LARGELY UNDRAMATIC

BYE WHITNEY I HOPE SOMEONE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE AT SOME POINT

SIDE NOTE: I THINK IT'S ALWAYS KIND OF FUCKED UP THAT THEY JUST KIND OF LEAVE THE GIRL WHO LOST THE 2 ON 1 STRANDED AND ALONE ON WHATEVER BEACH OR CLIFFSIDE OR SWAMP THEY'RE AT

[Jerichi]

VANESSA FREAKS OUT A LITTLE ABOUT HER STANDING (UNDERSTANDABLY)

THE OTHER DANIELLE (WHO APPARENTLY GOES BY D LO) WANDERS THROUGH AN OLD FORT/PRISON WITH NICK IN THE DARK

THEIR DATE IS BORING NEXT

[Jerichi]

SHE TELLS NICK SHE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE'S LIKE "UMMMMMMM SO ABOUT THAT"

WELL I GUESS WE HAVE OUR THIRD CASUALTY THIS WEEK

OH WELL IT MAKES IT MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH THE ROSE CEREMONY THEN (ALSO CAN WE HAVE THOSE AT THE ENDS OF EPISODES AGAIN)

ALL THE GIRLS ARE A LITTLE SHOCKED BY THIS (IT DOESN'T REALLY HAPPEN SO THEY HAVE GOOD REASON)

WELL HERE HE COMES TO EXPLAIN TO THE LADIES

HE CRIES IN FRONT OF THEM AND WE GET NO ROSE CEREMONY THIS WEEK

NEXT WEEK: CORRINGE USES HER "PLATINUM VAGEEN" FOR EVIL

CREDITS SCENE: JASMINE TROLLS THE HELL OUT OF CORRINGE WITH 95% COCOA

[Jerichi]

OKAY FOLKS WE'RE GETTIN DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY

THIS IS THE LAST WEEK BEFORE THE DREADED HOMETOWNS, WHICH MEANS WE'RE GOING TO HAVE OUR TOP 4 AFTER THIS NEXT EPISODE

OUR CURRENT CONTENDERS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

CORRINGE/CRAZY MOFO - DERANGED SEX CRAZED MANIPULATIVE CHILD

DANIELLE M - INOFFENSIVE NICE GIRL WITH NOT A LOT OF PERSONALITY (BUT SHE'S SUPER CUTE AND SWEET)

RACHEL/LAWYER - NO-NONSENSE GIRL WHO IS SERIOUS ABOUT HAVING A GOOD TIME

VANESSA - FRENCH CANADIAN-ITALIAN SPECIAL NEEDS TEACHER WHO TELLS IT LIKE IT IS

RAVEN - SHE'S SOUTHERN AND OWNS A BOUTIQUE OR SOMETHING?

KRISTINA - AWESOME RUSSIAN GIRL WITH A COMPELLING BACKSTORY

WE WILL BE SAYING GOODBYE TO TWO OF THESE LADIES TOMORROW (MY BETS ARE ON CORRINGE AND RAVEN) AND THEN THE REST OF THEM GET TO TAKE NICK TO MEET THE FAMILY

MAKE YOUR PICKS NOW FRIENDS

[Princess Ana]

I DUNNO JERI I'M STILL NOT CONVINCED WE'RE GOING TO BE FREE OF THE CRAZY.

[Sneaze]

#BRINGBACKSHARKGIRL2017

[Beautiful Savage]

I love Corinne for all the Jewish stereotypes she stands for and really hope she wins. Also Danielle M is pretty hot but no shot she wins.

[AshsBabyLapras]

First up, props to my boy Jeri for not being into Corringe or Raven. Everyone seems to really love one or both of them and I am just not about that life, so virtual fistbumps to you, my lad.

So last night I was pretty mad. If there's a remote chance that anyone hasn't been spoiled yet (and assuming that you care), stay away from anything and everything like Twitter, Reddit, etc. The next Bachelorette has been announced and that in itself is pretty huge, but a lot of people have thrown caution to the wind and are openly talking about this season's winner now too. I already had some dickhead spoil the whole season for me a week or two ago, so hooray.

Spoilers for all of last night's episode, in whatever jumbled order I put my thoughts together:

Spoiler: show

I wasn't too cut up over Danielle M leaving, but I did feel kinda bad for her. I do kind of appreciate Nick's tendency to "break up" one on one even though he's clearly dying of discomfort. Avoiding rose ceremonies is kinder for all involved.

Vanessa's "bawww why didn't he say ilu2 to meeee" was so cringey. Like, yes, ideally you want to hear it back, but does she literally not understand how the show works? Especially with that many girls still left! Ugh it just came off as really bratty and entitled to me. Not a good look.

Did Raven get the rose because of the cancer story? I literally forgot about the cancer thing until I saw it mentioned today. It's such a staple of The Sad Backstory that it doesn't even register with me anymore. That said, I was really sad about last year's Bachelorette AU spoilers (marking even though it was ages ago because it was a bloody fantastic season and you should probably track it down and watch):

Spoiler: show

Georgia's mum having cancer, because she was dying as the season was being filmed and she was too sick to participate in the hometown stuff and she and Georgia were clearly so close and just ugh, awful

But I digress, it was a weirdly edited date and it looked like Kristina was the star, which I guess is what they were going for. And that brings me to my next point...

I have been very pro-Nick Viall this whole damn time but sending Kristina home was IT for me; I hate his guts now. And normally I'm fully about "you can't make someone love you, nobody """deserves""" the love of another person" but fuck that, Kristina should be given ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING her little heart desires for every day of her life and making her cry like that is fucking unforgivable. I mean, I was rooting for Rachel over here, but I'd be okay with her being sent home if it meant Kristina would be happy. Oh my God I just love her so much and want only good things for her forever.

Also, the best part of the episode was far and away Kristina and Rachel snuggling together. I squeed more over that than anything to do with the dumb Bachelor.