Pokemon attack of mewtwo

[deoxys]

Found my way to this on TVT after learning about the worst Harry Potter fanfiction ever made called "My Immortal". I just had to share it (only the first chapter).
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CHAPTER ONE

this is dark fic it has many dark themes and death and vilence do not read unless you want to

"wake up Sarah" said Sarahs mom. Sarah was pokemon trainer who was thirteen years old with black hair and nice smile and really pretty. "ok mom" said Sara and she rememberd that she was old enough for pokemon journey because pokemon leage changed age that trainers could leave home and Sarah went to see professer Oak.

"Hi Oak" said Sarah and Oak told sarah that he had only one pokemon left. "It is evee" said Oak and Sarah said it was her favorite and Oak gave her pokeball and sarah let pokemon out. "eevee" said the eevee. "it is so kawaii" said sarah (it is japanese for cute ok!)

Sarah walked out of labradory and suddenly mewtwo. "who are you" asked sarah "i am mewtwo and I hate pokemon trainers and I will explode oaks laboratory so that NO ONE CAN BE TRAINER"

"NO said sarah "why do you want to explode lab" "because humans are evil" sad mewtwo" no mewtwo you are evil" said sarah and then mewtwo blew up lab anyway "no" said sarah and saw oak was dead and was Gary. "no why did you do this mewtoo you are evil" said sarah "Shut up or I EXPLODE YOUR HEAD" said mewtwo but sarah not listen and mewtwo shat sichic at her.

"now she is dead" said mewtwo and flew away but sarah was not dead and blacked out and so was eve. then sarah woke up and saw that mewtwo was gone and was sad and sad "mewtwo I will take ravange on u for exploding oaks lab" and decided to train eevee to become stranger than mewtwo even though mewtwo was legendry and so her pokemon journey begun.

[Concept]

I just read through all seven chapters, and I have that although it started kinda average to say the plot twist in chapter six really elevated it above the masses. Now I'm going to go read the sequel.

EDIT the first: Oh wow. I was a tad dubious when Ash was introduced in chapter one of the sequel, but the opening was solid and with Jakes crowning moment of awesome in chapter two, the return of characters previously thought dead and the massive plot twist at the end of the fourth chapter, I'm really sad this one never got completed.

[Tyranidos]

>suddenly mewtwo
>shat sichic

Too good.

[Talon87]

Originally Posted by deoxys

Found my way to this on TVT after learning about the worst Harry Potter fanfiction ever made called "My Immortal".

Insert Slowpoke thing here. I think I first heard about My Immortal in 2009? And even that was quite late to the party. Well, at least now you'll know what people mean when they say "special fangs" or "Dumblydore." There used to be tons of dramatic readings on Youtube but it looks like most of them have been taken down. I did find this, though, for those who've never heard of this before and want a good sample.

But as for this Pokemon thing, well now it's your turn to be all "I knew about this while you were still wearing diapers" to me. 'Cause I don't think I've ever heard of this before. Or if I have, I've forgotten all about it.

Originally Posted by deoxys

"it is so kawaii" said sarah (it is japanese for cute ok!)

Typical.

Originally Posted by deoxys

Sarah walked out of labradory and suddenly mewtwo.

Laugh Out Loud #1

Originally Posted by deoxys

"no" said sarah and saw oak was dead and was Gary.

#2.

Originally Posted by deoxys

"Shut up or I EXPLODE YOUR HEAD" said mewtwo but sarah not listen and mewtwo shat sichic at her.

#3

Originally Posted by deoxys

and decided to train eevee to become stranger than mewtwo even though mewtwo was legendry

Aaaaaand #4.

I feel bad for the Eevee that's raised to become even stranger than that freak Mewtwo. ^^;

If all the chapters are as short as this one, I could probably breeze through the rest for laughs and to see whether Concept is trolling us or not. But lol @ his enthusiasm for how the story plays out. Is it false enthusiasm or is it sincere? We shall see!

[deoxys]

Originally Posted by Talon87

Insert Slowpoke thing here. I think I first heard about My Immortal in 2009? And even that was quite late to the party. Well, at least now you'll know what people mean when they say "special fangs" or "Dumblydore." There used to be tons of dramatic readings on Youtube but it looks like most of them have been taken down. I did find this, though, for those who've never heard of this before and want a good sample.

I'm allowed to be late to this party. I don't read or care about Harry Potter fanfiction... actually, I don't read fanfictions period, except for Cupcakes, part of Rainbow Factory, and the latter half of My Little Dashie. I just don't see the appeal... although I've heard 'Dumblydore' used before, but never the former.

Also YES, read the rest, each chapter is as short as the first or shorter, and all are pretty hilarious.

[Lady Kuno]

This came off as a ripoff of Doom: Repercussion of Evil

[Concept]

>Talon

All tha chapters are that short (and there's only eleven between the two fics anyway) - and reading them genuninely liefted my mood massiely.

[Talon87]

Other trainer said "go ralts" and then there was ralts.

I think this is literature unownmew could sink his teeth into.

"No!" shouted mewtwo "how dare they use my genetic its MY GENETIC NOT YORS"

Oh god.

the eevee was also pink and blue in stead of brown and whit.

So not only can't this emo fuggo spell, she's also got the stylistic sense of Stevie Wonder after he goes to see the dentist.

Besides English not first langauge.

Awwwwww. This greatly takes away from the fun of reading this. =\

"LEAVE HER ALONE YOU DAMN CLONS"

Thought 1: Clowns --> laughter.
Thought 2: Cylons --> "That would have been pretty cool, actually. "

"We should look for survivors" said Paul sexily

Illustrating the "adverbs are abused by novice writers" principle, I see. I mean, really: are you telling us your protagonist is such a slutbunny that she's thinking about jumping Paul's cables when he's talking about looking for survivors? How does anyone say such a line sexily?

slamence use dargon bread on it

I lost it here. "DARGON BREAD!" hahahahaha

The final chapter is written so much more poorly than the previous ones that I think it all but proves that this was a trollfic and not an actual shitty fanfic. But there's still some humor to be found in it. Like ...

mewthro

Found this WAY funnier than I probably should have. I read it as "the Mewtwo version of Jethro."

So ...

Spoiler: show

Sarah was a Rhydon? Is that the author projecting herself into the story?

dark-lemur: IM BIG BONNED OKA?

Originally Posted by deoxys

I'm allowed to be late to this party. I don't read or care about Harry Potter fanfiction... actually, I don't read fanfictions period

What, and I do? I heard about this from a friend who heard it from 4chan. Seeing as you're directly plugged in to that society, I'd think you'd have discovered this ages ago.

[Concept]

This isn't the worst thign i've ever sen under the name of pokemon fanfic though. I once scanread a new fic on sppf to see if it was worth trying to read properly (like 20 pahges on word, all posted at once) and reported it once i reached the graphic rape scene.

[deoxys]

Originally Posted by Talon87

What, and I do? I heard about this from a friend who heard it from 4chan. Seeing as you're directly plugged in to that society, I'd think you'd have discovered this ages ago.

Talon.

I.

Am not.

A chantard.




How many times do I have to say it before it's true?

Edit: ALTHOUGH I MAY AS WELL BE CONSIDERING REDDIT IS BASICALLY 4CHAN NOW LOL

[Talon87]

Probably four or five more. Don't worry, I'll get it eventually.

So ... I decided to have some fun and look for things by tags. First I tried "Games Only." Didn't really work since a lot of people are pretty fucking stupid on this site and will tag a story that's about, say, Paul and Dawn only as a Games fanfic. -_-; Then I decided to try and find a way to sort stories by ranking. Not finding it, I opted to try for the ships. Figured I could get a good laugh out of some of them. Nothing really amusing for any of the main ones (Ash x ____), but then I said, "You know ... I wonder if there are Gardevoir shipping stories here. XD"

Oh dear.

So, there were 47 hits for "Genre: Romance" and "Character: Gardevoir". Found one that looked like it might be better written than some of the others. Well ...

In the final chapter, the teenage hero is husband-and-wife talking it up with his Kirlia while they're in bed together ... and then it's revealed that his dad, Ash Ketchum, is spying on them from the door. XFD holyshitthatssocreepyhahahaha To make it worse, in the first chapter, the hero establishes that he got Kirlia when she was in an egg. So ... this is a goddamn briderearing story. Things only get sillier when you discover that, as in this fic, Angela (that's the Kirlia's name lol) is basically this fic's equivalent of a devout Catholic and she prays to Arceus (God) and confesses her bestial sins.

Dude ... this site is chock full of a lot of messed-up stories from a lot of confused minds. What really kills me about that Gardevoir one though is the final scene. I gotta quote it for you guys ...

-Don't roll onto me in your sleep, Jason.- I smiled slightly.

"Wouldn't dream of it." She rolled her eyes.

-Worst joke ever.- I leant forwards and gently kissed her on the fore head as she drifted off.

"Cutest Pokémon ever." I laid my head next to hers, and soon we were both asleep.

(Jason's father's point of view)

I looked on as Jason spoke to his Kirlia. I could tell she was having a nightmare. As I watched, I saw him wake her up and comfort her. Soon, they laid down to go to sleep, and to my surprise Jason gently kissed Kirlia on the forehead. I raised an eyebrow; it was probably were he was comforting her, but it seemed more than that… I shrugged as the bird next to me shivered.

"Piiiddggggeeeeoooootttt…" I smiled slightly.

"I know it's cold, Pidgeot; just a few more minutes, though. I promise… then we can go back home, to Joy.

"Raaiiii…" I turned to Raichu, and sweatdropped.

"*sigh* I know she doesn't like us calling her Joy when she's not a Nurse anymore, but she won't know." Raichu lifted a recorder and pressed a button.

"…I know she doesn't like us calling her Joy when she's not a Nurse anymore, but she won't know…" I whited out.

"You actually recorded that? Are you two trying to get me in trouble?" Raichu nodded. I sighed.

"Fine, I'll call her Anni. But I prefer to call her Joy… Especially as she's one of the 'Joys' in my life?" Raichu and Pidgeot sweatdropped. I looked back at the window, and sighed.

"Alright, let's go… I don't suppose I can do anything now… Good Night, Jason…" I climbed onto Pidgeot, and Raichu jumped on behind me. Soon, we were Flying towards the Indigo Plateau. I looked behind me, and a lone tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of the coming battle. I had no choice, but I hoped that Jason would lose early on. I wasn't sure if I could defeat him, after he got all the way to the Champion… and, the fact that he would lose meant that I could look forwards to him travelling more. With luck, I would lose as well, and I could spend more time with both Jason and Anni. Another tear fell from my eye, and I sighed.

*Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to be the Champion… All it does is keep me away from my family…*

So his dad ... Ash Ketchum ... was watching his son in bed with a Kirlia ... while his son was all lovey-dovey with her. That would be like, in our world, if your dad was watching you through the crack of your open bedroom door while you whispered sweet nothings into the family dog's ear. >_< CREEEEEEEEEPY! XD

[Kindrindra]

Ohgodthisstuffreallyexists? 0_o

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. And then the one Talon found... oh god. After only ever reading good shipping fics (and I have some kinda high standards), this kinda stuff is like a kick to the you-know-where.

brb, killing self.

[Lady Kuno]

Originally Posted by Talon87

That would be like, in our world, if your dad was watching you through the crack of your open bedroom door while you whispered sweet nothings into the family dog's ear.

This is something Talon knows all too well firsthand.

[Doppleganger]

Originally Posted by Holy Emperor

This came off as a ripoff of Doom: Repercussion of Evil

Yeah, that was my first impression. Too much fanfiction these days are by people trying to imitate bad fanfiction writers, sometimes there's so much sign-posting it becomes too obvious.

I hadn't heard of My Immortal before today.

...

Hey Kuno, you should give Corsola a custom tag.

[DaveTheFishGuy]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

I hadn't heard of My Immortal before today.

To paraphrase Talon:

[Char]

Lol.

[deoxys]

I hadn't heard of it before the other day either, so.

[lilboocorsola]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

Hey Kuno, you should give Corsola a custom tag.

Aw, thanks, but it's not really necessary. I'm not the only one who uses a custom post color. Adding the size format in Quick Reply can be a bit tedious, but it's no big deal. I imagine typing a custom tag wouldn't make much of a difference. Probably be more cumbersome, actually. ^^;

I've known about My Immortal for a few years. Tried reading a little bit, didn't get very far.

[kusari]

>Talon finds the the story with Ash watching his son in bed with a Kirlia creepy

Ever heard of the story that's referred to as "The Pokemon Story"? It's something a hell of a lot more creepy. Probably due to the gratuitous use of rape.

[Midgeorge]

Just started chapter 2.
She used b/c in a fanfic.
In a fanfic.

I shat sichic from reading this.

[kusari]

Originally Posted by Midgeorge

Just started chapter 2.
She used b/c in a fanfic.
In a fanfic.

I shat sichic from reading this.

Did it EXPLODE YOUR HEAD!?

[JustAnotherUser]

"I am train to defeat Mewtwo!"

Didn't we already establish that most Pokemon can survive being run over by one of those?

[Midgeorge]

I was going to go through and quote some things that I could comment on and laugh at, like Talon did with the first chapter, but that would end up taking up about 4 pages worth of laughing my arse off.

[Treecko's Awesomeness]

Please tell me this is a parody.

[lilboocorsola]

I read "The Pokémon Story" last night.

WTF.