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Old 05-26-2010, 08:20 AM   #1
Stlbk
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Pikachu Intimacy Dropoff (PG-13 and up)

Since we've started discussing this topic in the recently closed thread...here goes!

I am a firm believer that a relationship's "fun" does not end after a couple years. I believe it is all dependent on the effort both people put in to the fire to keep it burning throughout the relationship.

Obviously lust plays in to a relationship in those first two years, and I believe once that is gone, in most cases, the activity of bunny thumpin' goes down considerably. At that point several relationships would find that they were nothing more than skin deep.

Thoughts? You don't have to be married or currently in a long term relationship.
If you've never been in a relationship, maybe relate it to your love affair with Pokemon?
I really want to know how people view marriage and relationships in the long run. I think this is the most valuable thing to take away.

No inappropriate content!

Words and such are fine, even if describing the details of the events, but please refrain from posting images/links/videos of such.

Thank you and enjoy arguing with me!
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Old 05-26-2010, 12:33 PM   #2
Talon87
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I think it depends entirely on the two individuals.

Spoiler: show
We've all had an experience like this in life: one where somebody asks us, "Are you sure you're up for this?" and you say, "Don't worry! I can do it!" only to find out once you're neck-deep in it that you just can't cut it after all? And you have to call it quits prematurely? And this leaves the other person -- the person whom you promised you wouldn't fail -- feeling S.O.L? I view long-time marital intimacy the same way.

When two people consider marriage, there are many important factors to consider. [huge tangent deleted] One of these is the intimacy of their relationship. How often is too often or not often enough? How far is too far? How much visceral pleasure does each person require to feel complete, to feel happy? It's not going to be a happy marriage when one person is miserable unless he/she is being pleasured daily and the other person is miserable if he/she is required to do it more than once every other day. One person is going to feel sex-abused, and the other undersexed, and it's not going to be pretty.

And the thing is, even if the two people plan for this and pre-marriage feel like they're on the same page, it's totally possible -- hell, maybe even it's common, I don't know -- for one of the two people to find out after the fact, after the wedding band is on, that they're not cut out for this after all. And I think that that's where a lot of the "OMFG sex life is good after marriage but only for a short time" stories come from. Two partners with slightly but significantly different ideal sex calendars marry, both think that either they can change or the other will change, both find out that they are incapable of change and that their partner isn't going to change either, and then it's sad faces all around.

So that stated.......

1. I think it's a stereotype that women tire of sex after a few years of marriage, leaving men wanting more. I don't deny that the trend may favor this pattern, but I think there's more than enough marriages where the roles are reversed. The point is, gender doesn't matter. What matters is each individual's sexual appetite and whether it's being met, "overmet", or "undermet".

2. I think sex life naturally tapers off with old age because, factually, the body becomes more fragile and easily-pained. Again, the stereotype is female vaginal thinning but I think there are a lot of cases where it's the man who doesn't want to have sex anymore for reasons of physical pain -- most notoriously (but never discussed in the context of his sex life) middle-aged male lower back pain. Think of all the old men you know who complain about lower back pain, and tell me you think they'd still be eager to have sex knowing that they might throw out a disc and experience the most excruciating, crippling, and humiliating pain of their lives? Fewer things spell "sexy" worse than throwing a disc in the middle of sex, writing and howling in pain on the bed, your man-tears wetting the bedsheets.

But! So long as both bodies are able, I think there's no reason to rule out sex life on the basis of age, either. Not all women thin to the same extent. Not all men have lower back pain or erectile dysfunction. Hell, not all people wrinkle to the same extent! Some people look like fucking bloodhounds, their faces wrinkle so bad! while others look just a tad creased.

[ending it here 'cause I think I'm rambling again]

Last edited by Talon87; 05-26-2010 at 12:35 PM.
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Old 05-26-2010, 02:27 PM   #3
ZoraJolteon
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Clearly this topic necessitates further research. Hana?
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Old 05-26-2010, 03:33 PM   #4
Talon87
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WEIRDEST PROPOSAL EVAR ...

... were it real.
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Old 05-26-2010, 05:16 PM   #5
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Jumpluff

>WEIRDEST PROPOSAL EVAR ...

Not the weirdest Zora-perving I've seen by a long shot.
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Old 05-27-2010, 08:15 AM   #6
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So Hana, how does your relationship with Zora fair?
Does he IM you too much to the point where you only want to share your drawings with new people?

Do you feel like you don't give Zora enough attention and enough Tseers?! Open up to the forum, we shall be your counselors...in flames...
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Old 05-27-2010, 01:48 PM   #7
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Best relationships IMV are ones born of partnerships. People who can work together professionally in the home are more likely to stick together. Love comes with understanding, and understanding comes with time. So, even if there wasn't any "love" to begin with, I think nearly all long-lasting couples have love between the partners. That's why it's shocking for me to hear stories of people getting married for 30 years then divorcing...how can people work together for that long and yet have no communication?
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