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Old 01-25-2018, 05:42 PM   #351
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GIRLS FAILING TO USE BINOCULARS

THEY SEE SEINNE AND ARIE PARASAILING

FUN, I GUESS, EXCEPT WE'RE SEEING IT FROM A DISTANCE SO WE HAVE NO REAL IDEA OF HOW FUN IT IS

...AND THE CLOSE-UP IS UNDERWHELMING

ARIE IS APPARENTLY SOME SORT OF DUTCH PRINCE OR SOMETHING IDK

HE TALKS ABOUT HIS BROTHER'S MARRIAGE AND HIS VERY DUTCH FAMILY

ARIE IS LIKE "I PICKED YOU CUZ UR SMART AND WORLDLY AND U KISS GOOD"

GOD ARIE STOP PLEASE

OH SHIT

MAQUEL'S GRANDPA PASSED AWAY

HOPEFULLY THEY DON'T JUST KICK HER OUT THEY'VE DONE THAT BEFORE
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Old 01-25-2018, 05:53 PM   #352
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WELL STRAIGHT INTO THE DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
CHELSEA
DEMON SPAWN
MARIKH
JACQUELINE
JENNA
TIA
KENDALL
LAUREN
BRITTANY
CAROLINE
WHOEVER THE CARD GIRL IS

WILL OUR LOVE SURVIVE

-ARIE


THAT MAKES BEKAH OUR OTHER ONE-ON-ONE

KRYSTAL THROWS SHADE AT HER IN THE TALKING HEAD SEGMENT

SEINNE AND ARIE HAVE DINNER... AT THE HARD ROCK CAFE

WOW YEAH SUPER ROMANTIC

THEY HAVE A VERY ONE-SIDED CONVERSATION ABOUT LOVE WHERE SEINNE IS VULNERABLE AND ARIE IS THE EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED TEN-YEAR-OLD THAT HE IS

SEINNE HAS LEGITIMATE WORRIES ABOUT BEING A BLACK WOMAN IN AMERICA WHERE SHE IS CONCERNED THAT SHE DOESN'T FIT THE FAIRY TALE NARRATIVE

ARIE DEFLECTS AWKWARDLY WITH COMPLIMENTS

...AND THEN BRINGS IT BACK WHEN HE GIVES HER THE ROSE

IT'S UM, AN ATTEMPT

BUT THIS IS ABOUT AS WOKE AS I CAN EXPECT ABC TO BE SO

AND LOOK IT'S EVERYONE'S FAVORITE BAND THAT THEY TOTALLY KNOW

UP NEXT: CAMPING DATES AND KRYSTAL BEING HORRIBLE
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:05 PM   #353
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LET'S GO HIKINGGGGG

KRYSTAL CONTINUES TO TOOT HER OWN HORN REPEATEDLY

ARIE MENTIONS MAQUEL BUT DANCES AROUND THE QUESTION OF IF SHE'S COMING BACK

OOOOH THEIR GUIDE IS A SEXY EX-GREEN BERET SILVER FOX

HE AND HIS WIFE ARE SURVIVALISTS WHICH IS NEAT

WELL THEY'RE MAKING THEM PEE IN A BOTTLE

AND DRINK IT

HAHA IT WAS JUST A PRANK YOU GOT PRANKED

NEXT: EATING WORMS

MOST GIRLS RECOIL, AT LEAST THREE ARE LIKE WHOOOOOO

KRYSTAL IS INSECURE AND IS CALLING THE OTHER GIRLS DESPERATE TO RATIONALIZE IT

IT'S SNOWING LIKE CRAZY THIS IS PRETTY NEAT

AND OF COURSE ARIE GOES AND MAKES OUT WITH A GIRL

AND KRYSTAL FREAKS OUT JESUS

OKAY TIME TO ACTUALLY HIKE

TO A "SPECIAL LOCATION"

THEY SPLIT INTO TEAMS AND ARIE IS ON ONE OF THEM, OF CORUSE WITH FUCKING KRYSTAL

THE OTHER TEAMS ARE ACTUAL DISASTERS

THE SECRET PLACE IS A HOT SPRING NOICE

HAHAHA SOME GIRLS FLING SHIT RIGHT AT KRYSTAL IN FRONT OF ARIE BITCH YOU DESERVE IT

KRYSTAL IS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CORE PREMISE OF THE SHOW

HONEY
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:18 PM   #354
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KRYSTAL HONEY YOU KEEP SAYING YOU HAVE A STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH ARIE BUT YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER GIRLS

SHE'S NOT SURE WHAT SHE'S GOING TO DO BUT WHATEVER IT IS IS GONNA BE PERFECT

THE LAST LAUREN STANDING ASKS HIM SOME HARD HITTING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT HE WANTS IN A WOMAN

HE SAYS HE WANTS AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN

SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO BE A GROSS OLD PERSON

QUIRKY GIRL TALKS ABOUT HER STUFFED DUCK

KRYSTAL STARTS TALKING TO THE OTHER GIRLS ABOUT HOW THREATENED SHE'S FEELING HOW COMPETITIVE IT IS TONIGHT

ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE MAKING SO MUCH FUN OF HER AND THROWING MASSIVE SHADE

EVERYONE'S IMITATING HER FAKEASS MARILYN MONROE BREATHY ACCENT

SHE GOES AND SOBS TO ARIE

ARIE ENABLES HER, OF COURSE

KRYSTAL PLAYS THE VICTIM CARD NOW

SHE GOES BACK INTO THE ROOM AND EVERYONE IGNORES HER

SHE CLAIMS THE OTHER GIRLS ARE INSECURE AND IMMATURE LMAO

AND THEN SHE PULLS TIA AND CAROLINE ASIDE WHO MADE FUN OF HER EARLIER

GIRL
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:25 PM   #355
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KRYSTAL TAKES WHAT WAS QUITE CLEARLY JUST A JOKE REALLY PERSONALLY

OH MY GOD SHE IS LIKE "IT WAS AN ATTACK"

TIA TURNS IT AROUND AND IS LIKE "THIS IS HOW WE FEEL WITH YOU HONEY"

AND THEN SHE TURNS IT AROUND AND MAKES HERSELF THE VICTIM

TIA CALLS HER OUT ON IT AND SHE DENIESSSSSS

TIA ASKS HER IF SHE TATTLED AND SHE MORE OR LESS ADMITS IT LMAO

AND CALLS HER OUT ON HER BEING A HORRIBLE PERSON FOR BEING TERRIBLE TO EVERYONE WHEN SHE FEELS THREATENED

AND THEN SHE JUST MOVES THE GOALPOSTS SO FAR THAT TIA JUST FUCKING LEAVES

TIA SUBTLY TATTLES AND CHARACTERIZES IT AS WANTING TO TALK TO ARIE MORE GOOD FOR YOU GIRL

OKAY NOW KRYSTAL LECTURES EVERYONE ABOUT HOW HARD THIS IS AND TELLS THE CAMERA HOW VULNERABLE SHE IS

CAROLINE CLAIMS THAT IF KRYSTAL GETS THE ROSE TIA WILL SPEED-BAG HER FACE LOL

GOOD FOR YOU ARIE GIVE TIA THE ROSE

KRYSTAL IS IMMEDIATELY JEALOUS GOD HOW ARE YOU SO FUCKING CONCEITED AND ENTITLED
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:33 PM   #356
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TIME FOR BEKAH'S DATE

KRYSTAL TALKS ABOUT HERSELF SOME MORE

KRYSTAL SAYS SHE 'COMES OFF AS FLAWLESS'

BEKAH AND ARIE ARE GOING HORSEBACK RIDING

(NGL BEKAH DOES SEEM KIND OF LIKE A HORSE GIRL)

EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT BEKAH'S AGE, WHICH FEELS LIKE LARGELY A NON-ISSUE BUT THE SHOW REALLY WANTS TO MAKE IT SEEM TO BE THAT

THEY MAKE OUT IN A HOT TUB

OH HEY ARIE HAS THE SAME ROD IN HIS SHOULDER THAT MY FRIEND HAS

THEY TALK LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE

MEH COMMERCIAL
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:39 PM   #357
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GOD EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT BEKAH'S AGE

MOM COMPARES TELLING HIM ABOUT HER AGE WITH TELLING HIM ABOUT HER BEING A MOTHER

BEKAH DOES REALLY ROCK THE FAUX FURS

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A REAL ROMANTIC DINNER IN A CABIN BY THEMSELVES
NOT IN THE HARD ROCK CAFE

GOD HE SAYS YOU KNOW A LOT

I AM 99% SURE THAT ARIE ALREADY KNOWS HOW OLD SHE IS BECAUSE HE IS QUIZZING HER ABOUT BEING READY TO COMMIT

SHE TELLS HIM HER AGE (22) AND HE SEEMS KIND OF SHOCKED

HIS LITTLE WHEELS ARE SPINNIN AND SMOKE IS COMIN OUT OF HIS EARS

CLIFFHANGER I GUESS OH WELL
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:48 PM   #358
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ITS GENUINELY HARD TO READ HOW ARIE'S FEELING ABOUT THIS

HER WHOLE FAMILY GOT MARRIED AROUND HER AGE SO THAT'S UM, SOMETHING

WOW THIS IS LIKE, AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION AND NOT A REALITY SHOW BIT

OKAY AFTER ALL OF THIS HE'S LIKE "I DON'T WANT TO GET HEARTBROKEN"

AND SHES LIKE "WOULDN'T IT ALL BE WORTH IT"

AND HE'S LIKE "NO I NEED A WIFE"

WOW NO WRONG ANSWER



HE PICKS UP THE ROSE AND VOMITS HIS INSECURITIES ALL OVER IT

BUT GIVES HER THE ROSE ANYWAY

ARIE IS ABOUT AS SHARP AS DILDO BUT AT LEAST BEKAH MAKES HIM A BIT MORE TOLERABLE
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:55 PM   #359
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OKAY THIS EPISODE HAS BEEN TOLERABLE SO FAR BUT I AM SURE THE WORST PART IS YET TO COME

KRYSTAL IS NOT FEELING CONFIDENT BECAUSE HER CHARACTER WAS ATTACKED

MAYBE DON'T HAVE SUCH A SHITTY CHARACTER THEN????

SHE LECTURES EVERYONE AGAIN FOR WHATEVER REASON

ONE OF THE GIRLS IS LIKE 'SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHES READING FROM A BOOK'

CHRIS HARRISON IS HERE FOR SOME REASON

UGH FUCK NO COCKTAIL PARTY TONIGHT THESE ARE THE WORST

WELL HERE WE GO I GUESS

LMAO KRYSTAL IS PANICKING

ARIE PARROTS THE EXACT REASON CHRIS HARRISON GAVE FOR CANCELLING THE COCKTAIL PARTY, TO CHRIS HARRISON

THE ROSE CEREMONY, I GUESS

Spoiler: show
...WAIT WHAT THE SHIT

NO KRYSTAL YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS

YOU DON'T INTERRUPT A ROSE CEREMONY
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Old 01-25-2018, 06:56 PM   #360
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oh my god what
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Old 01-25-2018, 07:05 PM   #361
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UGH MEGAFUCK THIS

�� SEND �� HER �� HOME �� SEND �� HER �� HOME ��

OKAY NOW BACK TO THE ACTUAL FUCKING ROSE CEREMONY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

THE ACTUAL FUCKING ROSE CEREMONY
Spoiler: show
LAUREN (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
KENDALL (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
ASHELY (I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU BUT, GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
BECCA (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
CHELSEA (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL [LOWKEY UGH THOUGH])
JENNA (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL [ALSO LOWKEY UGH])
JACQUELINE (DON'T KNOW YOU EITHER BUT GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
MARIKH (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)

THE FINAL ROSE (GET FUCKED KRYSTAL)
Spoiler: show
UGH FUCK THIS SHOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW


FUCK THE PRODUCERS OH MY GOD

GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH

NEXT WEEK: FLORIDA I GUESS

CREDIT SCENE: MARIKH ACCUSES ANOTHER GIRL OF UM "GLAM-SHAMING"

HONEY

SHE IS TAKING SO MUCH OFFENSE TO THIS JESUS
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:12 PM   #362
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DO YOU EVER JUST WATCH A SHOW AND SAY "THIS IS WHY I HATE MYSELF"

THAT'S THIS SHOW FOR ME

LET'S GET STARTED, SHALL WE?
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:20 PM   #363
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LOL THE HULU PEOPLE CLEARLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS SHOW

THEIR DESCRIPTION OF THIS EPISODE IS THAT THE WOMEN ARE SPLIT INTO TEAMS FOR COMPETITIVE BOWLING

TONIGHT: ...FT LAUDERDALE

...EXOTIC, I GUESS?

LOL KRYSTAL HAS LIKE THREE BREAKDOWNS AND IS CONFRONTED BY LITERALLY EVERYONE THIS IS GREAT

AND CALLS THE BACHELOR A LIAR LMAO

THIS MAY VERY WELL BE THE REDEMPTION WE SEEK FRIENDS

BUCKLE UP

THEY AT LEAST PUT THE WOMEN IN A SUITE IN THE W BUT THIS CITY IS NOT THAT INTERESTING

IT'S JUST LIKE MIAMI BUT MORE BORING

GOD ARIE BORES ME IMMENSELY

HE COMES AND PICKS CHELSEA (THE MOM) UP IMMEDATELY

HE SEEMS TO LIKE TO DO THAT FOR SOME REASON

OH AND LOOK A LITTLE BIT OF SELF-AWARENESS THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT BEING A MOM EVERY 10 SECONDS

THEY BOTH HAVE GROSS WRIST TATS THEY'RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER

THE LAST LAUREN STANDING IS JEALOUS ABOUT NOT GETTING THE 1-ON-1

MAQUEL IS BACK

I STILL DON'T LIKE HER THAT MUCH BUT SHE'S TOLERABLE I GUESS

CHELSEA AND ARIE HAVE A BORINGASS BOAT RIDE WHERE NOTHING HAPPENS

GOD I MIGHT AS WELL JUST CATCH UP ON MY SLEEP THIS IS SO BORING

LMAO THIS GIRL IS TRYING TO USE THE TELESCOPE AND IS USING THE SIGHT

AND NOW THEYRE SPYING ON THEM MAKING OUT ON A JET SKI

AND FEELING ALL JEALOUS ABOUT IT
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:30 PM   #364
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THE BEACH EPISODES ARE GENUINELY THE MOST BORING ONES BECAUSE THEY LIKE, DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT NOVEL OR INTERESTING, JUST BOATS AND SWIMMING

AND... BOWLING APPARENTLY

NOTHING SCREAMS FLORIDA LIKE BOWLING, I GUESS

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D WANT A HELICOPTER RIDE

ARIE AND CHELSEA HAVE DINNER IN A CLASSIC CAR GARAGE

THEY TALK ABOUT THE PARTS OF THE DATE THE PRODUCERS EDITED OUT BECAUSE THEY WERE BORING

OH MY GOD ARIE BRINGS UP HOW SHE'S "MYSTERIOUS" JESUS

POOR GIRL GOT PREGNANT FROM HER SUGAR DADDY AND THEN HE DUMPED HER WHEN HER KID WAS SIX MONTHS

OH MAN AND THEN HE DUMPED HER AND GOT MARRIED AND HAD A KID

HONEY YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON THIS SHOW YOU NEED TO FIND LIKE, A RESPONSIBLE ADULT INSTEAD OF THIS BORINGASS MANCHILD

SHOCKINGLY UNBORING DATE DINNER

OH MY GOD AUDIO ENGINEERS DO YOUR JOB TIA IS LIKE IN A FUCKING ECHO CHAMBER

DATE CARD BTW

Spoiler: show
MAQUEL
KRYSTAL
BEKAH
BECCA
JENNA
SEINNE
KENDALL
ASHLEY
MARIKH
JACQUELINE
THE LAST LAUREN STANDING

THERE'S NOT A MOMENT TO SPARE

~ARIE


SO IT'S TIA ON THE 1-ON-1

DESPITE BEING LARGELY A CLONE OF WHAT'S HER FACE SHE'S KIND OF LIKE, NORMAL I GUESS

ALSO THE MOM CONTESTANT GETS THE ROSE

HERE'S ANOTHER BAND YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:39 PM   #365
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TIME 4 BOWLING I GUESS

OH MY GOD EW GOD GROSS ARIE LICKS A BOWLING BALL

...AND THEN DOESN'T THROW THE ONE HE LICKED LMAO

LIKE CMON GUYS YOU HAVE PROVEN YOU HAVE MONEY WHY ARE YOU SKIMPING ON THIS SHIT

PITCHER BEER AND CHEAPASS BOWLING (WHERE THEY DIDN'T EVEN RENT THE WHOLE SPACE BTW - THERE ARE OLD PEOPLE LOITERING IN THE BACKGROUND)

KRYSTAL IS LIKE STRIPPER POLE DANCING ALL OVER THE BALL RETURN

KRYSTAL BLAMES ARIE FOR HER HORRIBLE BEHAVIOR ON THE LAST DATE

OH MY GOD THEY'RE DOING ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE THEY MAKE TEAMS AND THE LOSERS DON'T GO TO THE PARTY AFTER

I ALREADY HATE THE BLUE TEAM

IT HAS KRYSTAL ON IT SO

KRYSTAL PRAYS THAT HER DOGS WILL BLESS THEM

OF COURSE JENNA IS LIKE, AN ACTUAL BOWLER

SADLY THE PINK TEAM SUCKS OSTRICH EGGS

THEY LOSE, KRYSTAL IS BEING AN OBNOXIOUS ASS ABOUT IT

I WANT KRYSTAL TO LEAVE NOT ONLY BECAUSE SHE IS HORRIBLE BUT ALSO BECAUSE SHE IS TURNING INTO THE SOLE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION

LMAO ARIE GOES BACK ON THE LOSING TEAM GOING BACK

KRYSTAL HAS A FUCKING FIT
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:48 PM   #366
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WOW THEY'RE SHOWING THE GIRLS CHANGING BECAUSE KRYSTAL APPARENTLY HAD A FUCKING FREAKOUT ON THE BUS BACK TO THE HOTEL

SHE CALLED ARIE A LIAR LMAO

SHE'S BITCHING... TO SOMEONE ON THE PHONE I GUESS?

AND SHE COMES OUT IN A ROBE

UH EWKAY

THEY'RE GOING FULL SHAKEYCAM TO SHOW HOW BONKERS KRYSTAL IS

LMAO SHE PACKED HER STUFF TOO

OKAY LEAVE THEN HONEY

PEOPLE ARE STRAIGHT UP CALLING HER ASS OUT

IT'S AWKWARD AND ONE OF THE GIRLS IS LIKE "I THINK WE SHOULD GOOOO"

BEKAH IS HARD SAVAGE IN THE TALKING HEAD

EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT FUCKING KRYSTAL AND THEN ARIE SHOWS UP AND IT'S MEGA AWK

ARIE IS SUPER CONFUSED ABOUT KRYSTAL BEING NOT HERE

OOF THE GIRLS JUST ALL COLLECTIVELY TELL ON HER (NOTE: THIS IS THE RIGHT CHOICE IN THIS SITUATION)

HE GOES TO TALK TO KRYSTAL

MAQUEL IS LIKE "I WAS GONE FOR A WEEK AND THIS SHIT IS STILL GOING ON SMH"

BEKAH CALLS IT AS IT IS SAYING THAT KRYSTAL IS PANICKING BECAUSE SHE SO TOTALLY IS
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Old 01-30-2018, 05:59 PM   #367
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HERE WE GO TIME FOR THE GOOD SHIT

AWWW YISSSS

ALL THE GIRLS ARE SPECULATING WILDLY ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING

THE TWO GIRLS ON THE ONE-ON-ONES AWKWARDLY POINT HIM TO HER ROOM

THEY HAVE AN AWKWARD SILENT HUG

OH MY GOD THIS TURNS INTO A FULL-ON CONFRONTATION

ARIE IS LIKE IT'S ONLY GAME WHY YOU HEV TO BE MAD

ARIE BASICALLY JUST SLAPS HER ON THE WRIST AND DOESN'T SEND HER HOME THOUGH BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ANYWAY BACK TO THE LADIES, COMPLAINING ABOUT KRYSTAL GETTING EXTRA TIME

KENDALL HAS AN INCONSEQUENTIAL CONVERSATION WITH ARIE

BEKAH AND ARIE HAVE A REALISTIC CONVERSATION ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP THAT IS MEANINGFUL AND SIGNIFICANT

LET'S PLAY SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

I MEAN, I DON'T THINK SHE'S GOING TO WIN BECAUSE HE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HOW YOUNG SHE IS BUT

I HOPE SHE'S AT LEAST TOP 4

EVERYONE STILL TALKS ABOUT FUCKIN KRYSTAL EVEN THOUGH SHE'S NOT THRE

HE TAKES THE OTHER BECCA TO HIS ROOM WHICH IS WEIRD

OH FUCK ME KRYSTAL IS PUTTING ON MAKEUP

NO BITCH YOU DON'T GET TO DO THIS

LMAO BEKAH IS MAKING FUN OF KRYSTAL'S SHITTY PRAYERS

AS KRYSTAL WALKS UP (THIS IS CLEARLY EDITED TO BE THE CASE BUT STILL)

BEKAH GIVES HER THE EVIL EYE AS SHE WALKS BY
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:07 PM   #368
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KRYSTAL ASKS IF SHE CAN SIT AND IS MET WITH COMPLETE SILENCE

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY STARTS TALKING ABOUT HOW HURT SHE WAS

SHE GETS FULL ON CALLED OUT

KRYSTAL LIES HER ASS OFF

BEKAH IS LITERALLY FROZEN IN PLACE

SHE'S ASKED A LEGITIMATE QUESTION AND SAYS "I'M GONNA BE ATTACKED IF I RESPOND"

LMAO THE LAST LAUREN STANDING LITERALLY JUST WALKS AWAY

OH BOY HERE COMES BEKAH WITH THE TEARDOWN

BEKAH TRIES TO CALL HER OUT AND SHE INSTANTLY BACKPEDALS ON WHAT SHE SAID BEFORE

LIKE, ZERO HESITATON

SHE JUST GIVES LIKE TEN NON-ANSWERS AND THEN LEAVES

LAST LAUREN STANDING IS TORMENTED BY KRYSTAL BEING HORRIBLE AND PLAYS 21 QUESTIONS WITH ARIE TO COPE

IT DEVOLVES INTO GENERIC CONVERSATIONS ABOUT GENERIC FEARS ABOUT THIS SHOW

I HAVENT BEEN MENTIONING IT BECAUSE IT FEELS PRETTY INCONSEQUENTIAL AT THIS POINT BUT OH GOD ARIE IS SUCH A KISSING SLUT

HE MAKES OUT WITH EVERYONE AT EVERY CHANCE AND IT'S JUST LIKE, SAVE IT MAN

ROSE TIME, I GUESS

HE CALLS OUT TWO GIRLS AND THEN GIVES THE ROSE TO THE LAST LAUREN STANDING, FOR SOME REASON

BECCA IS SUFFERING FROM FIRST DATE SYNDROME

ANOTHER DRAMATIC SHOT OF KRYSTAL
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:16 PM   #369
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OF COURSE THEY TAKE THE REDNECK ON AN EVERGLADES DATE

YEEHAW I GUESS

THEY GO RIGHT UP TO A HISSING GATOR AND STICK A CAMERA IN ITS FACE

100% SAFE Y'ALL

THEY GO TO A LITERAL SWAMP SHACK

DO Y'ALL KNOW WHAT WHITE WASHIN IS DOWN IN FLORIDA

THEY'RE EATIN DEEP FRIED CORN AND FROG LEGS AND CAT FISH

TIA IS BASICALLY JUST A REGULAR REDNECK WHO LIVES IN UH, THE CITY

(IS LITTLE ROCK A CITY?)

THE REST OF THIS IS BORING, NEXT PLEASE
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:25 PM   #370
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THEIR DATE IS IN A, AND I QUOTE, "OLD NAUTICAL ANTIQUE PLACE"

I THINK THAT WE'RE SADLY JUST GOING TO GET THEM TALKING ABOUT BORING SHIT SO THIS WILL PROBABLY BE A SHORT SECTION

SHE HAS A DEGREE IN PHYSIO AND IS LIKE "IM A DOCTOR I HAVE A PHD"

DEAR

THE CONVERSATION GETS REALLY DARK AND RELIGIOUS

ARIE IS APPARENTLY LIKE, ARELIGIOUS OR SOMETHING

THIS IS HANDLED ALMOST KINDA GRACEFUL

OH BOY TIA IS A FIXER

HONEY JUST DON'T

SHE SAYS SHE'S FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM OH HONEY IT'S WAY TOO EARLY FOR THAT

TOP SIX ONLY

HE GIVES HER THE ROSE ANYWAY THOUGH

WELL NEXT UP KRYSTAL IS A MASSIVE BITCH TO EVERYONE
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:35 PM   #371
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FIRST WORD: KRYSTAL

KRYSTAL WAS HIDING IN HER ROOM, CLAIMS SHE WAS "INVESTING IN HERSELF"

AWKWARD SILENCE AFTER KRYSTAL TALKS UNTIL ARIE COMES IN

OH GOD ANOTHER QUESTION GAME AND IT'S QUIRKY GIRL

HER QUESTIONS ARE SUPER INTENSE THOUGH SHE ASKS ABOUT CANNIBALISM OFF THE BAT

ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE TALKING SHIT ABOUT KRYSTAL WHILE SHE LITERALLY LURKS OUTSIDE

OH BOY HERE SHE COMES ON THE WARPATH

SHE WANTS TO TALK (READ: LECTURE)

SHE IS LIKE "TALK WITH ME ONE ON ONE"

KENDALL TAKES HER UP ON IT

KENDALL TRIES TO RATIONALIZE WITH HER AND KRYSTAL CUTS HER OFF TO PAINT HERSELF THE VICTIM

TIA SAYS "I'M TIRED OF HER SAYING 'I'M HURT'"

KRYSTAL PROCEEDS TO SAY "I'M HURT" THRICE IN A ROW

...AND STARTS TO ATTACK KENDALL WHO IS LITERALLY ONLY TRYING TO BE DIPLOMATIC

TIA SHOWS UP

KRYSTAL JUST CONTINUES TO MOVE THE GOALPOSTS

WOAH BEKAH STRAIGHT UP ASKS HER WHY SHE'S STILL HERE

FIVE DRAMATIC STINGS

COMMERCIAL BREAK
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:44 PM   #372
Jerichi
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OH YEAH THAT'S RIGHT THERE'S A MAN HERE I NEARLY FORGOT

CHRIST THIS WOMAN SHE IS SO FUCKING DELUSIONAL I JUST CAN'T EVEN HANDLE THIS

BEKAH IS LIKE "DO YOU REALIZE YOU HAVE TALKED ENTIRELY ABOUT YOURSELF AND NOT TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PAIN YOU CAUSED OTHERS"

AND SHE JUST IMMEDIATELY IS LIKE "WAAAAAA WAAAAA THIS IS ABOUT ME FEELING HURT FEEL BAD FOR ME WAAAA WAAA"

I HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO BECAUSE OF HOW FUCKING RIDICULOUS THIS GIRL IS

BEKAH LITERALLY JUST GETS SO FED UP THAT SHE WALKS OFF

I FEEL YOU SO HARD GIRL

AND THEN SHE SAYS ALL THE GIRLS DON'T "OPERATE AT HER LEVEL"

HOBOY ARIE IS TALKING TO HER NOW

SHE JUST BABBLES AT HIM

ARIE SAYS SHE KNOWS HIM MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE UGH NO

NO ARIE DON'T COACH HER

SEND HER ASS HOME

SHE SAYS HER RESPONSE WAS "OUT OF CHARACTER" WHICH I GUESS IS HER LIKE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

AND THEN SHE BLAMES HER CHILDHOOD BECAUSE SHE GREW UP IN A BOWLING ALLEY

THIS IS LIKE, NEXT LEVEL BUMPER CAR TRAUMA HERE

CUE THE SHITTY FLASHBACKS

HONEY IF THINKING ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD CAUSES YOU TO SHOUT AT PEOPLE YOU NEED TO REASSESS YOUR LIFE

SHE MAKES SOME EXCUSE ABOUT HER MOM DATING A BUNCH OF GUYS IDK

SHE CLAIMS TO TRUST HIM

ARIE IS THANKFULLY NOT BUYING HER SHIT (I HOPE AT LEAST)

SHE'S LIKE "AWW THIS IS OUR FIRST FIGHT"

HE'S LIKE "THIS COULD BE OUR LAST FIGHT"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HE IS VERY STONE FACED

KRYSTAL BARELY SITS DOWN BEFORE CHRIS HARRISON SHOWS FOR THE ROSE CEREMONY

UGH PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY SEND THIS GIRL HOME
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Old 01-30-2018, 06:54 PM   #373
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OH GOOD GETTIN RIGHT INTO IT

...AFTER A BRIEF INTERVIEW ABOUT KRYSTAL

JESUS SEND HER HOME I AM SO SICK OF HER

OH MY GOD KRYSTAL IS LIKE "I SHOWED HIM SO MANY SIDES OF MYSELF, FUN, PASSIONATE, SAD, EMOTIONAL, EXCITED, FUTURISTIC, SO MANY SHADES OF WHO I AM"

BITCH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE JANE FUCKIN JETSON OR SOMETHIN

GOD I AM SO SICK OF HER

THE ROSE CEREMONY
Spoiler: show
BEKAH (WHOOO)
SEINNE (WHOOO)
KENDALL
BECCA K
JACQUELINE (HOW IS SHE STILL HERE)
JENNA (QUIRKY)
FINAL ROSE

Spoiler: show
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

SO FUCKING OVER THIS SHOW WHAT THE FUCK



NEXT WEEK: KRYSTAL CONTINUES TO BE THE FUCKING WORST, BUT IN PARIS THIS TIME

CREDITS SCENE: OLD PEOPLE BOWLING AND INTERROGATING ARIE ABOUT THE WOMEN
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Old 02-01-2018, 06:13 AM   #374
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are you genuinely still shocked at this stage
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 02-01-2018, 09:52 AM   #375
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LESS SHOCK, MORE EXASPERATED RESIGNED DISAPPOINTMENT
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