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Old 05-05-2007, 12:51 AM   #1
big bad birtha
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Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions

Yum! I'm already turned on! Well, not really. As any idiot can tell, this is just another pointless part to the Talon Tales. I am going to try to make this the most WTF thing I can ever make. The only reason I'm really doing this is the fact that I need to kill a little time while my anime is loadin' up. I'm sure any poor readers are glad to know that this is the second thing on my mind XP Remember, watching anime always comes first.

Chapter 1
As the surroundings are examined, there are several chairs that are set in front of a stage with three little chairs and these two people in two seperate chairs on stage. The people are brainlessly clapping as music plays. One guy happens to be this small bald dude and the other person is this old lady with really long fingernails and a conceited look on her face. The dude screams somthing in German and raises his hand and everyone shuts up.

"Welcome to our show, Randy. My name is Randy, and this the special day so my spcial psychic guest is here. Her name is....."

"GUUTEN MORGEN!!! My name is Sally. I will give you cancer with my mind if you **** with me." says Sally

"Instead, why don't you tell people their futures."

One person is about to get up, but Sally says something before the person gets up.

"You will get shot in the head before you get up." says Sally.

The person was, of course shot in the head. Everyone stood up and clapped. They sat back down and another person got up to ask a question. This person had a really tight Japanese school girl outfit. When examined closer...it is Loki!

"Yes, Sally, do you know when I will stop giving birth to gerbils and have a human kid?" asks Loki in a high-pitched voice.

"You will be a fire man when you grow up." says Sally.

"Arigatou." says Loki.

"Well, enough with this. We will now introduce our guests. One is a guy's toilet is stopped up so he put his cat in the toilet to get it out. The cat only stopped it up more and now it won't shut up. He beat the cat with the plunger like 90 times, but it still won't shut up. The other has a splinter and he wants to borrow Sally's fingernails to get them out. Ok, on with our guests!" says Randy.

The stupid music plays again as everyone brainlessly claps. Doppleganger walks up to the stage. A everyone hears a massive crash and a loud motor running after Doppleganger sits down. A tractor knocks down one side of the stage and as anyone with a brain could guess, it is PiccoloNamek. PiccoloNamek walks up on stage with his baseball bat and sits down beside Doppleganger.

"Ok, tell us about your troubles Doppleganger." says Sally.

"You are a psychic. You are supposed to know." says Dopple.

"Yes, but tell our audience about it." says Sally.

"Diddn't Randy tell everyone?"

"Yes, but this one guy diddn't hear you, because he just got punched in the face."

Some large bouncer guy comes from behind the stage and tries to punch Loki in the face. Loki catches his punch inside his mouth and eats the guy's hand. While all this is happening, Sally is screaming in pain. When it looks over, PiccoloNamek has just cut Sally's hand off and is using her fingernails to get his splinter out. Doppleganger punches Randy in the face and steals all of his pimpin' jewelry. PiccoloNamek summons a unicorn after he removes his splinter. Doppleganger, Loki, and PiccoloNamek get on the unicorn and fly out of the stage. Doppleganger digs in his pocket and pulls out his pocket grizzly bear. He throws the bear in the place. The smexy trio fly off into the distance, which means that the chapter is over.


Well, there you go. The first chapter of Dopplepiccoloki's stupid adventure. This wasn't too bad, but wasn't too good either. Yay! My anime is loaded up! w00t!!!
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:27 PM   #2
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Re: Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions

Well, here goes my next chapter. Your loins will feel the almighty fury of the pointlessness. There's also a very important lesson in this chapter that you need to pay special attention to.

Chapter 2
The almighty trio are flying away from the horrible help-show studio on PiccoloNamek's unicorn. Doppleganger is on the front eating cheetos, while Loki and Namek are arguing over who has to clean the unicorn(his name is Bobby). A little bit after arguing, they hear Bobby ringing. Loki and Namek look forward to see Doppleganger feeding Bobby cheetos. Both of them are like WTF.

"Oh my god! You ****ing idiot! Do you know what happens when you feed a unicorn cheetos?" screams Namek.

"They are not hungry anymore." responds Doppleganger.

Before Namek has time to respond, Bobby explodes. All three of them are falling to the earth in flames. They all hit the ground in a tremendous impact, but all of them survive. They look down and they find out that they all landed on an old lady.

"Oh my freaking god! We just killed an old lady!" says Loki.

"No, she could've moved. She sacrificed herself to save us. How noble." says Doppleganger.

"Hey! I'm not hurt. I'm a tough old lady." says the old woman.

"OMG!!" says Loki.

"ZOMBIE!!!" screams Doppleganger.

"Don't worry! I will slay the granny zombie. To hell with you spawn of hell!!" yells PiccoloNamek.

PiccoloNamek draws his bat and slices her in half. Doppleganger is crouched with his hands over his head, while Loki's eyes are sparkling in glee. A guy runs at the trio and he looks pissed.

"Dude! You just killed our best teacher." says this dude.

"She was a zombie though. If I diddn't kill her, she would've ate the students' brains." says Namek.

"Good point. She did seem a little strange. That lady was OLD. Too old to be alive. I think she is like 79." says the dude.

"I know this 86 year old dude who looks like a little girl." says Namek.

"No ****ing way! So he was a zombie for thirty years....how sad."

"Anyway, where the hell are we, and who are you? Since you have had more than one line, then the author must've bothered to give you a name." says Namek.

"Oh. Pardon me. My name is McSweeny and this is a elementary school that I teach in. We are known to have the freshest kids in the world. Now that I told you who I am, tell me who you are." says McSweeny.

"Yes. I am PiccoloNamek. The guy crouching for no apparant reason is Doppleganger, and the guy standing......Ok where the **** is Loki? He was just standing there like a minute ago." says Namek.

McSweeny tells them to forget about Loki and invites them into the school. They agree to follow him inside. They all start eating lunch, totally forgetting about Loki. They are all given a choice between nasty meatloaf and steak that is ordered out. They all order the steak and eat at the lunch table. While eating, Doppleganger shows slight signs of getting pissed off. After a few seconds longer, Doppleganger throws a brick at this kid's head and continues eating.

"DUDE!!!" says Namek.

"Leave him alone. That kid is a stupid **** with a staring probem (Oh, one more thing to add to my list =O). Honestly, he needs his eyes cut out. Stupid ass kid." says McSweeny.

They hear a girls scream a little bit later. They wait until their food is finished and they go off to see what the noise is. They all run to the source of the scream to see Loki outside the girls restroom with a group of little girls.

"What are you doing with Loki?!" yells Doppleganger.

Doppleganger punches all of the little girls in the face. Loki tries to restrain him and explains how irresistable the students at the place were. Doppleganger backs off and Namek gives Loki the meatloaf lunch. Loki eats it and vomits all over the place.

"That's what you get for choosing American animation over anime." says Doppleganger, Namek, and McSweeny.

"What the **** are you talking about?"

"Actually, I think it is morning sickness. Congratulations Loki! You are having a baby!" says Doppleganger.

"Awesome! Lets hold a baby shower!" says McSweeny.

Time passes and the time for Loki's baby shower is a day away. A far away view of the school is shown and flaming legs are shown. After that, the screen goes black.


Well, there you go. My latest chapter of Dopplepiccoloki's Hot Passions. I hope jooz enjoyed it ^o^
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Old 05-16-2007, 08:18 AM   #3
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Re: Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions

To those who actually care, this is not a new chapter. Instead, an announcement. I will not be typing a new chapter for like 12 weeks. Why? I dislocated my shoulder and my left arm will not be able to do anything.
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Old 05-23-2007, 04:30 PM   #4
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Re: Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions

Well, I know I said it would be like 12 weeks, but I just overestimated the damage to my arm. All this really does is shorten my reach and prevent me from lifting heavy things. My decent typing is still intact. Anyway, I am sure no-one cares about my arm, so enough about myself....

It's here, it's here! The new chapter of the super sexy Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions! Get that cat out of your bellybutton and take that corndog out of your mother because this will require all of the loin-power you have!

Chapter 3
As said by the last chapter, a flaming pair of legs were shown. They walk slowly to the school. While this foreshadowing of a fight happens, everyone is preparing for Loki's super awesome baby shower. Everyone is invited!!!!

"Oh yea! Who's the lucky father of your baby?" asks Doppleganger.

"I don't know. I'm a virgin, so it could be anyone." responds Loki.

"Damn! We were going to celebrate the father too." says McSweeny.

The day of the baby shower arrives! Everyone makes it as well. At one corner is The Muyo and Yami Ron. Somewhere else is Talon and big bad birtha. Then over there is Hanatori, Another Fan, SultaIxclude, Otes Abiak, Randy, Sally, and some other people no-one cares about. At the front of the place is the soon happy grandparents Arnold and Enchantress and the people who set up the baby shower, Doppleganger, PiccoloNamek, and McSweeny. Music plays for a minute and then, Loki walks in in a beautiful dress. Everyone starts clapping for Loki.

"We are so proud of you! We've always wanted grandchildren." says Enchantress and Arnold.

"I love baby showers! A duel is always lurking in the depths." says Ron.

"JUICY HAIRY BACON BITS!!" screams Hanatori.

"Eh?! Isn't Loki a guy though?" Talon whispers to big bad birtha.

"I really have no idea at this point. I don't even know why we and characters that are supposed to be dead are here."

"I will burn all of you to a crisp because I am awesome like that!" yells this distant voice.

Everyone is all shocked at the sudden intrusion. The dude burns the door down, and reveals that it is An Mhorg!

"Why diddn't you invite me?!" yells Mhorg.

"Because you always dress up as Avril Lavigne and make out with random ginger kids." responds McSweeny.

Mhorg gets all pissed an releases his flame aura. birtha and Talon say "**** this" and teleport away. Ron and Muyo enter the duel mobile and drive away. Hanatori freaks out and runs away, while everyone else just fades away. Loki stands at Mhorg all pissed off.

"This bastard is mine! He ruined my excellent baby shower!" says Loki.

Loki whips out his hockey stick blade and rushes at Mhorg. Mhorg pulls out a gun and shoots Loki in the head. Loki lays there all dead. Dramatic music plays while the camera is circling Loki in his pretty dress. Everyone is all sad and stuff....except for Doppleganger.

"I am licensed in mouth-to-mouth. I can save him!" says Doppleganger.

Doppleganger sits over Loki's body. He moves his head to Loki's slowly. He finally reaches Loki and gives him mouth-to-mouth. After a few tries, Loki is brought back. The blood-stains on his dress are gone too. Loki stands there for a minute, but he lets out a quick scream of pain while everything below him sudden gets wet. He keeps this up for a little longer and a ninja comes out of Loki's dress. The ninja cuts An Mhorg's head off and salutes to Loki.

"I was hiding in your body this whole time. You see, this half-nekkid alien chick nearly killed me, so I had to take refuge somewhere and the best place was inside of you. Now that I am better, I can go back and challenge her again." says the ninja.

Everyone cheers the ninja on while he walks away. Mhorg burned all of the children in the school, but McSweeny never noticed. Doppleganer, PiccoloNamek, and Loki walk off in search for some other pointless adventures. They all ride on PiccoloNamek's unicorn in the distance.


Errm...I think that was a little too WTF. Oh well, there were all ideas that I wanted to use.
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Old 06-01-2007, 02:53 PM   #5
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Re: Dopplepiccoloki's hot passions

Oh my goodness! I am ready to go after yet another chapter! I might as well spit out a little information about something. The ninja fighting the half-nekkid alien chick is a reference to Ninja Gaiden. I kinda thought no-one might of caught on. Anyway, lets get this spicy adventure on!

Chapter 4
The trio of Doppleganger, Piccolo Namek, and Loki fly off on Bobby. PiccoloNamek and Loki put Doppleganger in the back, because of the cheetos incident. They are all singing their fight song during their wait for something interesting.

"Good morining beautiful. How was your night? Mine was wonderful, with you by my siiiiide! Open my eyes, to see your sweet face. It's a good morning beautiful night....." they all sing.

They all notice a cave in the distance so they decide to check that shiznit out. Namek staples the Bobby's head to the ground to keep him there. Doppleganger and Loki walk in the cave ahead of Namek to see what is going on in the cave, but it is too dark to see. Namek walks up, and the cave is lit up in changing colors. They realise that Namek is glow in the dark =O. As they venture in the cave, they see tons of barrels of candy corn. They also notice alot of movies. They look at them to notice alot of Jennifer Aniston movies, and every season of Dharma and Greg.

"Who the hell is this? Their taste in movies is horrible." says Doppleganger.

"Umm. I've seen these movies in my nightmares. It was horrible. Satan was making me watch horrible romantic comedies." says Loki.

Loki goes to the ground in the fetal position and starts shivering. Doppleganger tries to comfort him in his time of trouble. PiccoloNamek ventures deeper into the cave to see some bats eating candy corn and watching television. He cringes to see them watching Friends and talking about it in joy. Doppleganger has Loki on his back and joins Namek. They both watch in horror as the bats watch Friends and share information. Loki wakes up and jumps off Doppel's back. Loki sees what they are doing and gasps. The bats hear Loki and quickly look back. The bats walk up to the three.

"Do you want to watch Friends with us? The more the marrier." says this one bat.

"We will watch Dharma and Greg after this is over." says this other bat.

"No thanks. We don't want to intrude." says PiccoloNamek.

"Don't worry about it. We have enough candy corn for several armies." says the final bat.

"Jennifer Aniston sucks, and candy corn tastes like crap!" Doppleganger says furiously.

The bats' friendly demeanor quickly turn to increadibly pissed off. Thieir eyes turn a glowing red.

"No-one insults Jennifer Aniston! We idolise her. None of you will leave this cave alive!" says the three bats.

Loki quickly gets out his scythe and strikes one of the bats. Doppleganger stands firmly and taunts one of them. PiccoloNamek pulls his bat out and swings at the final one. Loki notices that the bat he hit is unphased by his strike. The bat pulls out a satanic looking spear and swings back at Loki. Loki blocks the strike, but is taken aback by the bat's strength. The bat swings again, but Loki parries the strike and responds with a slice at the throat. The bat is still unphased though. It grabs Loki's scythe and throws him back. Loki hits the wall and falls to the floor. The bat comes to Loki at full speed. It stabs Loki in the stomach as he tries to get up. Loki is held up like a tophy as the bat laughs.

The other bat rushes at Doppleganger and swings at him with his long claws. One slash skims Doppleganger's face while he evades the other one. Doppleganger steps in and punches the bat in the face. The bat is taken aback and Doppel. follows up with a jump kick to the chin. The bat falls on his back and Doppleganger gets over him and starts pummeling the bat in the face. The bat bites one of Doppel's fists, and slashes his chest. The bat rushes at Doppelganger, but he pulls out his pocket grizzly bear and throws it on the bat. It cuts the bear in half. While bear parts fly everywhere, the bat is suddenly struck with a knife in his throat. The bat looks up to see Doppleganger over his body with a knife to his throat. Everything goes black after that.

The final bat reaches into his gut and pulls out a sword to block Namek's strike. Both of them exchange blows for a little bit. Namek throws confetti in the bats face in one of their exchanges, but it is unphased. They continue to exchange blows, for a minute. The confetti starts shocking the bat. Namek takes a swing at the bat. It hits the bat right between the eyes, but only causes a little bleeding. The bat throws Namek away and starts absorbing the energy of his fallen comrade. Namek swings at the powered up bat, but they don't even phase it. Doppleganger comes from behind, but the bat grabs his arm and throws him at Namek. They get up and prepare for the worst.

The first bat is of course, holding Loki up laughing, but Loki starts laughing himself. After a minute, the laugh starts sounding satanic, and this dark red aura comes out of Loki. Loki grabs the bat's spear and pulls his body down the spear closer to the bat. He grabs its throat and picks the bat up. With the spear still through Loki's body, he eats the bat. Loki breaks the spear in half. He puts his hand at his blade and it goes to Loki.

"Namek, I think we will have to fuse together to defeat this enemy." says Doppleganger.

"How do you suppose we do that?" asks Namek.

Doppleganger kisses Namek and the place goes in a flash. When the flash goes away, this one figure stands there. It is a woman o.o and a sexy one at that.

"You can call me DoppleNamek." says DoppleNamek

She stands at the bat, but from out of nowhere, Loki slashes the bat, causing it to vaporize into nothingness.

"What the hell, you stole my kill!"

"Whoops."

DoppleNamek return into Doppleganger and PiccoloNamek. They are both well suprised by Loki's demonic power, but they don't say anything about it. Doppleganger and Loki leave the cave, but PiccoloNamek stays behind to gather romantic comedy DVDs.....


It was alright....that's really all I can say. Just so you know, this shows that Doppleganger's mouth-to-mouth did not heal Loki the last chapter. The bullet actually did not harm him at all =O
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