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Old 04-14-2015, 10:01 PM   #26
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Here's some garbage.

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Old 04-16-2015, 10:54 PM   #27
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Kouzuki Torajirou

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Old 04-19-2015, 09:28 PM   #28
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Okay folks, I spent like three days drawing (tracing/ripping off) this image for Kozuki Ryoko, BUT something is majorly off. It might be a combination of somethings. I need the collective analysis of UPN to pinpoint what exactly the problem is. Artists, hear my cry!

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Old 04-19-2015, 09:46 PM   #29
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Supposedly this is an improvement?

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Old 04-19-2015, 10:30 PM   #30
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Lil' Bluey

I would smooth out the neckline towards the top. Right now it looks like she's got a weird double chin.
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Old 04-19-2015, 11:03 PM   #31
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Done. It looks better (along with my other changes) but something still feels off.

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Old 04-19-2015, 11:36 PM   #32
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Lil' Bluey

The neck still seems a little strange, not sure why the bottom juts inward. Try making it a smooth curved line? It might also help to see the original image.
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Old 04-20-2015, 12:05 AM   #33
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Something about the eyes makes it feel like she is staring past me, focusing on something behind me rather than at me. I am not sure if this is the fix needed, but I feel like both eyes need to be brought in a bit more medially / a bit less laterally, i.e. the colorful irises should be closer to the nose than they are at present. Not by much in either eye's case, only by enough to look right. Right now they look like they're set too far apart, and I'm wondering if that's contributing to the optical illusion that she is looking past me rather than at me.

The latest iteration's change in facial shading is a downgrade in the sense that she now looks like she's wearing one of those eye masks that some people wear when they go to bed. She didn't look like that before, and that was a good thing.
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:21 PM   #34
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Excellent feedback in both cases. Hopefully I've made enough correction, Talon is this enough eye movement for you? Or does it still look off?

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Honestly, the big issue for me has been the face shading. It looks terrible to me for some reason, but everyone I've spoken to says it looks fine. What gives?
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Old 04-20-2015, 06:46 PM   #35
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The eye on our left looks perfect now, like it is looking right at me. The eye on our right looks like it is still just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit shy of target, a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit too lateral still. We're talking microns millimeters or even tenths of millimeters here, not a supreme amount of distance to move. But enough to make it look right.

The shading looks improved over what it was in the (now) second-to-last iteration. But it still doesn't look natural. And I think the issue is 1) the light source and 2) human anatomy. Starting with 2, we have the bridge of the nose, which produces a natural barrier for any light originating from the sides of the head. Moving on to 1, we have the issue that the bottom half of her head is shaded in such a manner as to make it seem like the light source is to her head's right (i.e. to our left). Because if it were behind us / in front of her, we wouldn't expect half of her lower face to be illuminated (and brightly illuminated, too) while the other half is in the dark. So then when we glance up at her eyes, and see that both appear to be illuminated, but with the one on our left moreso than the one on our right, I think it locks in our interpretation that the light source is to the left but then this throws up a flag in the human facial recognition portion of our brains because we know, subconsciously, about nasal bridges and about how the light should not be able to be lighting her upper left face (i.e. the upper-right portion from our POV) if it is indeed originating from her right / our left.

Dunno what to tell you beyond that. Shading's a bitch. An early hurdle and one that I've never managed to overcome in my several failed attempts at teaching myself how to draw. Hopefully you can look at how other artists do it and simply mimic it, even if it's without fully understanding why they did what they did. Would at least be a temporary solution.

Glancing at a lot of samples myself, I'm noticing a trend: most eromangaka, even the greats, tend to reserve shading for every other corner of the body except the face. Faces they seem to always fully illuminate. It's only breasts, bellies, arms, legs, and other natural contour regions of the human form that they apply shading to, it seems. This isn't to say that every artist does this or that even a particular artist does this 100% of the time. But from what I'm seeing, the only times faces seem to get any shading at all is when they're turned away (to varying degrees) from the light source. So like, a face turned 105° might have a sliver of shadow on the edge of the face that is antipodal to the light source. Or a face that is facing down at someone (e.g. a girl looking down at a guy who is laying down while the girl herself is above him) may have almost the entirety of the face shaded, to convey that it looks shadowy since the light source in the room is obviously not coming from the floor. But like ... aside from such specific circumstances, it seems like a lot of mangaka (or at least a lot of eromangaka) ditch anatomical hyper-realness in favor of "just looking right" aesthetically.
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Old 04-20-2015, 07:17 PM   #36
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The shading is definitely a plane of vision issue. Zooming in close, it looks fine to me. Looking at it from either side, it looks fine as well. Perhaps that's just the brain tuning out dissonant details, but it's at it's worst looking at it straight.

Corrected right-eye. She's a lot prettier now than she was last night. I give kudos to the make-up.

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Old 05-02-2015, 07:00 PM   #37
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Class is in session.

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Old 05-02-2015, 08:01 PM   #38
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Actually let's try that again.

I'll be adding the teachers, named Father Frank and Father Myrrh, but that's for another day. It takes a whole day to finish one sprite regardless of how simple it seems.

They, and perhaps the Monsignoir, will be the last staff for St. Francis Xavier High School.

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Old 05-09-2015, 09:10 PM   #39
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New girl! Senjou Gao

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Old 05-09-2015, 09:31 PM   #40
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Eye update

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Old 05-10-2015, 12:52 AM   #41
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Sharper still.

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Old 05-10-2015, 08:09 PM   #42
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Some more Gao edits, and a size comparison with Ryoko.

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Old 05-10-2015, 11:33 PM   #43
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Cut down on Ryoko's head. Like/dislike?

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Old 05-10-2015, 11:51 PM   #44
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Comparison

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Old 05-31-2015, 02:35 AM   #45
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Feels like these are taking longer than ever. This one still needs to be redrawn, since the size doesn't match up with the others, but I'm starting to get lazy.

Himura Ayane:

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