01-20-2018, 10:39 AM | #326 |
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OKAY NOW FOR THE LIKE, ACTUAL DATE PART, WITH LIKE NORMAL DATE THINGS
I FEEL LIKE THE PRODUCERS ALWAYS TAKE THEM TO THE SAME UGLYASS WAREHOUSE THAT THEY FILL WITH CANDLES LOL THEY NAMEDROP THE UGLYASS WAREHOUSE WHY WOULD PEOPLE PAY FOR THIS EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT HOW HE HAS PILLOW LIPS AND IT IS PRETTY CREEPY OH BOY HERE IS THE GROUP DATE CARD Spoiler: show OH THEY'RE MIXING IT UP IT'S A ONE ON ONE WITH THE WORST GIRL ON THE SHOW AWESOME EVERYONE IS LIKE "THIS BITCH" OH SHIT BECCA'S DAD HAD BRAIN CANCER WHEN SHE WAS A TEENAGER DAMN SORRY GIRL SHE GETS THE ROSE IDK I THINK SHE'S BORING |
01-20-2018, 10:49 AM | #327 |
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KRYSTAL'S DATE NOW
ITS GOT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE HOME WHICH DOES NOT SOUND GOOD ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING SHE IS GOING TO AN AIRPORT TO GET ON A PRIVATE PLANE (NO HELICOPTERS?????) THEY'RE GOING TO ARIZONA WHERE HE'S FROM WTF PRODUCERS THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID NO OF COURSE THEY'RE GOING BACK TO HIS HIGH SCHOOL HE TAKES HER TO HIS HOUSE THIS IS SUPER WEIRD THIS IS AWFUL I HATE THIS SO MUCH THEY WATCH HOME VIDEOS WTF IS THIS I HOPE THEY AT LEAST HAVE A NICE DINNER BECAUSE THIS DATE SUUUUUUCKS OH MY GOD SHE'S MEETING THE PARENTS ALREADY THIS IS EPISODE TWO EPISODE TWO YOU ARE GIVING THIS HORRIBLE GIRL A RIDICULOUS ADVANTAGE |
01-20-2018, 11:01 AM | #328 |
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NOW WE GONNA DO THE GROUP DATE???
Spoiler: show IDK I MISSED ONE BUT SHE READ TO FAST AND I'M NOT GOING BACK OKAY SO THEY DO GO HAVE DINNER IN A REALLY FUCKING COOL OLD BUILDING SHE'S NERVOUS BECAUSE SHE HAD A SHITTY FAMILY LIFE APPARENTLY AND HIS FAMILY IS SUPER GREAT IDK SOUNDS LIKE SHE HAD A SINGLE MOM SITUATION AND SHE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HER BROTHER OH RIGHT HER BROTHER IS HOMELESS YEAH I GUESS HER LIFE DID SUCK ROSE BLAH BLAH OH BOY IT'S MY FAVORITE SINGER/SONGWRITER WHO I'VE NEVER HEARD OF (HE IS HOT THOUGH SO I'LL FORGIVE IT) NEXT UP: LITERAL DESTRUCTION DERBY |
01-20-2018, 11:10 AM | #329 |
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KRYSTAL IS BEING ALL HUSH HUSH WHICH LBH IS PROBABLY A GOOD STRATEGY BECAUSE IF SHE WAS HONEST PEOPLE WOULD BE FREAKIN
ANYWAY TIME FOR THE GROUP DATE LIKE I SAID - LITERAL DEMOLITION DERBY THEY'VE PAINTED UP AND GUTTED SOME JUNKER SEDANS AND THE GIRLS ARE GOIG TO CRASH THEM INTO EACH OTHER ARI MAKES A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE IN A SHITTY CAR THE ARKANSAS GIRL SAYS 'THIS IS SOME REDNECK SHIT' YES, YES THIS IS THEY GET TO SPRAY PAINT THEIR OWN CAR LIKE IF THIS COULDN'T POSSIBLY RESULT IN BODILY HARM I WOULD KIND OF BE ON BOARD WITH THIS BUT ALSO THESE LADIES ARE BAD DRIVERS (THOUGH TO BE FAIR THESE CARS ARE SHITHEAPS) ANNALISSE IS FREAKIN OUT FOR SOME REASON ...SHE HAD A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE WITH BUMPER CARS AS A KID UM DEAR YOU NEED TO TALK TO YOUR THERAPIST (WANT TO POINT OUT THAT THE PRODUCERS ALSO INTERCUT A BLURRY BUMPER CARS MONTAGE FOR ~EXTRA DRAMATIC EFFECT~) |
01-20-2018, 11:18 AM | #330 |
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HAHAH YES THE HAVE JUMPSUITS AND HELMETS AND EVERYTHING
LMAO IT'S THE BASHELOR DEMOLITION DERBY THEY DO SPORTS-STYLE COMMENTARY ANNALISSE HONEY YOU ARE LITERALLY CRYING AT THE WHEEL YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER THIS IS ACTUALLY KINDA ENTERTAINING ANNALISSE IS NOW SUPER FUCKIN AGGRESSIVE LMAO SHE IS GOING SO HARD IN THE PAINT BIBIANA AND BRITTNEY ARE ALSO SUPER FUCKING AGGRESSIVE FOR SOME REASON HAHAHHA THEY START PLAYING THE CANCAN WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHOW I DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE THIS IS SIMULTANEOUSLY THE BEST AND WORST THING THEY'VE EVER DONE THE WINNER IS SIENNE TIA (SUPER SOUTHERN GIRL) GOT SECOND PLACE (AS YOU'D IMAGINE) I LOVE SIENNE THOUGH SHE'S PRETTY GR8 ANYWAY THAT WAS DUMB AS FUCK BUT REALLY FUNNY |
01-20-2018, 11:29 AM | #331 |
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BRITTNEY GAVE HERSELF WHIPLASH I GUESS SO SHE WENT HOME
OH CHELSEA IS WHO'S THE MOM STEALS HIM AWAY FIRST AND TELLS ARI THAT SHE HAS A KID HE APPARENTLY LIKES WOMEN WITH KIDS SINCE HE'S NOW DATED TWO (I GUESS WE COUNT BEING ON A SEASON OF THE BACHELORETTE AS DATING SO) HOBOY CHELSEA COMES BACK WHEN PEOPLE ARE THROWING SHADE AT HER AND SHE'S LIKE UM IM A MOM SO I HAVE TO HAVE TIME TO TELL HIM THAT AND THE OTHER GIRLS ARE LIKE WELL WE SHOULD HAVE TIME TOO AND LIKE OKAY I LIKE SEINNE SHE WENT TO YALE AND IS SMART AND COOL SHE WENT TO BRAZIL AND ITALY IN COLLEGE I LIKE HER GIRLS START TO FIGHT ABOUT TIME WITH HIM IT'S MOSTLY BIBIANA, THOUGH THIS LITERALLY DOMINATES THE REST OF THE PARTY SHE GETS A CHANCE TO TALK TO HIM AND IS LIKE "NO I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE" AND THEN STORMS OFF UM OKAY HONEY CHILL THE FUCK OUT PLEASE ONCE AGAIN WEEK 2 WEEK FUCKING TWO CHILL THE FUCK OUT HE KISSES BEKAH MAN HE IS MAKING OUT WITH EVERYONE TONIGHT OH MAN AND I CAN SEE TONGUE TOO WOW THIS IS A FULL LIKE TWO MINUTE KISS I LIKE BEKAH BUT THIS IS KINDA DUMB HE CALLS OUT CHELSEA FOR OPENING UP TO HIM BUT THEN GIVES SEINNE THE ROSE LMAO BIBIANA CONTINUES TO HAVE NO CHILL |
01-20-2018, 11:38 AM | #332 |
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OKAY FINAL COCKTAIL PARTY BEFORE THE ROSE CEREMONY
>for those of you who didn't go on dates that's what's tonight for UHUH SURE THAT'S DEFINITELY HOW IT WORKS RIGHT HE CHECKS ON BRITTANY BECAUSE SHE HAS WHIPLASH THAT'S NICE OF HIM I GUESS HE MADE HER A CERTIFICATE OF MOST HARDCORE LOL I MEAN, IF YOU GO SO HARD YOU GET WHIPLASH I FEEL LIKE THAT'S FAIR BEKAH IS WEARING THIS MASSIVE FAUX FUR IN LA IN THE SUMMER SO OKAY KRYSTAL DOES THAT AGGRESSIVE THING WHERE SHE STEALS HIM DESPITE HAVING A ROSE STOP IT NO THANK GOD ARIE TELLS HER TO LIKE, FUCK OFF FOR A SECOND WHEN SHE TRIES TO INTERRUPT OF COURSE EVERYONE THROWS A SHITLOAD OF SHADE BECAUSE WELL, AS BIBIANA PUTS IT, SHE'S BEING A 'SELFISH BITCH' |
01-20-2018, 11:45 AM | #333 |
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OH GOD THE TAXIDERMY GIRL IS STILL HERE AND BROUGHT A STUFFED OTTER
THIS ALL FEELS LIKE FILLER OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK THOUGH KRYSTAL STEPS IN A SECOND FUCKING TIME AND OF COURSE INTERRUPTS BIBIANA THIS IS GOIN TO GO GREAT KRYSTAL COMES BACK AFTER AND IS FAKE AS SHIT AND THIS TURNS INTO A BIG FIGHT BETWEEN BIBIANA AND KRYSTAL BIBIANA IS KIND OF AWFUL TOO BUT SHE'S ALSO CALLING KRYSTAL OUT HARD SO KRYSTAL IS TRYING TO RATIONALIZE ALL OF HER SELFISH SHIT OH SHE'S TRYING TO ACT LIKE SHE WAS LOOKING OUT FOR THE GIRLS BY "MAKING SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH TIME" MMHMM RIGHT LMAO BIBIANA SAID MIC DROP AND WALKED AWAY GOOD FOR YOU THANK YOU FOR THAT - I HATE YOU, BUT THANK YOU FOR THAT |
01-20-2018, 11:55 AM | #334 |
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OKAY ROSE CEREMONY TIME
BECCA, FUCKING KRYSTAL AND SEINNE ALL HAVE ROSES LET'S GET DOWN TO IT THE ROSE CEREMONY Spoiler: show I HAVE TO SAY THE PROPORTION OF LITERAL WHOS THIS SEASON IS A BIT LOWER THAN USUAL OH SHIT ONE OF THE GIRLS DOESN'T EVEN HUG HIM AND WALKS OFF AGAIN THIS IS WEEK TWO WEEK TWO W E E K T W O ARIE GOES AND TALKS TO HER AND THIS IS REALLY GRACELESS AND TERRIBLE I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS GIRL THOUGH SO SHE COMPLAINS THAT SHE GOT BROKEN UP WITH FOR HE FIRST TIME OKAY WHATEVER GIRL THIS IS REALITY TV GET A GRIP THANKS THE NEXT EPISODE LOOKS HORRIBLE SO I AM NOT GOING TO WATCH IT NOW BUT KEEP AN EYE OUT |
01-20-2018, 11:56 AM | #335 |
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BLOOPER IS TAXIDERMY GIRL GREAT
UGH SHE HAS A DEAD BAT IN A JAR |
01-22-2018, 08:51 PM | #336 |
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WELL I HAVE BEEN COMPELLED TO WATCH THIS SHOW AGAIN
SO LET'S GET STARTED PREVIOUSLY: KRYSTAL PISSES EVERYONE OFF YEAH THAT'S LITERALLY IT TONIGHT: MORE BORINGASS DATES ARIE IS A KISSING SLUT BIBIANA BREAKS |
01-22-2018, 08:59 PM | #337 |
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EVERYONE IS QUOTE 'EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINED' FROM THE COCKTAIL PARTY
SO THE PRODUCERS ARE TRYING THIS NEW THING WHERE THEY ARE KICKING OFF LESS PEOPLE UP FRONT WHICH IS DUMB SINCE IT MEANS SOME GIRLS DON'T GO ON DATES AT ALL THIS WEEK WE HAVE TWO GROUPS AND A DATE CARD - GROUP DATE EDITION Spoiler: show JUMPIN RIGHT INTO IT WHO'S READY FOR SOME GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION ARIE COMES OUT INTO THE RING THEY'RE CALLING THEIR WRESTLING UH, THING, "GLOB" GORGEOUS LADIES OF THE BACHELOR... WRESTLING OH THEY FOUND SOME LADIES FROM GLOW (WHICH I ONLY KNOW ABOUT BECAUSE OF THAT NETFLIX SERIES I HAVEN'T WATCHED) THE GLOW LADIES TRY TO TEACH THE GIRLS TO WRESTLE ARIE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT WRESTLING I.E. THE PRODUCERS ARE MAKING HIM DO IT HE ALSO ADMITS EVERYONE WILL BE UNCOMFORTABLE EDITORS YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ADMIT NO ONE WANTS TO DO THIS ONE OF THE LAURENS GETS YELLED AT BIBIANA STARTS TO ACT LIKE A SHIT AND THE WOMEN CALL HER OUT FOR IT BIBIANA IS LIKE 'WHY AM I SO VICTIMIZED' HONEY THIS IS WRESTLING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AGGRESSIVE AND CONFRONTATIONAL I DON'T EVEN WATCH WWE AND I KNOW THAT GOD THIS IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE WORST DATE IDEAS IN THE HISTORY OF THIS SHOW OH MY GOD BIBIANA AND TIA ARE LITERALLY SITTING IN THE CORNER CRYING ABOUT BEING INSULTED BY SOME OVER-THE-TOP WRESTLING CHICKS HONEY IT'S ALL AN ACT |
01-22-2018, 09:09 PM | #338 |
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MORE CRYING
BEKAH IS LIKE 'WHAT ARE THESE GIRLS PROBLEMS' THANK YOU ARIE TRIES TO COMFORT TIA AND IT'S AWKWARD HE IS NOT COMFORTING AT ALL HE'S LIKE 'OH WE'RE ALL UNCOMFORTABLE SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP' WOW A+ GOOD JOB TIME FOR COSTUUUUUMESSSSSS BEKAH IS A KNOCKOFF CATWOMAN, MARIKH IS A LITERAL GOLD DIGGER, KRYSTAL IS A JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS REJECT, TIA IS A SOUTHERN BELL OF COURSE BIBIANA IS A BRIDEZILLA WITH A FUCKING TUTU AND DINO MASK ONE OF THEM IS A LUNCH LADY OH YES ARIE IS GOING TO GET HIS ASS BEAT BY ANOTHER FORMER BACHELORETTE CONTESTANT THIS GUY IS AN ACTUAL WRESTLER I HOPE HE GETS HIS ASS BEAT THAT WOULD MAKE THIS ALL WORTH IT SPOILERS: HE GETS HIS ASS BEAT, IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT BUT THEN HE "WINS" ALRIGHT MATCH ONE BEKAH THE SEX KITTEN V MAQUEL THE LUNCH LADY THIS IS HILARIOUS - MAQUEL PINS HER WITH HER TRAY AND WINS MATCH TWO KRYSTAL THE CRUSTY COUGAR VS. JACQUELINE THE BEAUTY QUEEN KRYSTAL IS SUPER FUCKING AGGRESSIVE MATCH THREE MARIKH AND LAUREN THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK WHEN I SAID GIRL ON GIRL I DID NOT MEAN SOFT CORE PORN OH GREAT THE LAST ONE IS TIA VS. BIBIANA THIS ONE IS DEFINITELY THE WORST BUT THEY SPEND THE MOST TIME ON IT FOR SOME REASON TIA WINS FOR SOME REASON AND THEY TRY TO PLAY IT OFF AS LIKE, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OKAY GOD THAT WAS CERTIFIABLY HORRIBLE |
01-22-2018, 09:20 PM | #339 |
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OKAY AFTER DATE PARTY
THEY GO TO WHAT IS BASICALLY A RENOVATED TRAILER PARK THAT IS MADE INTO LIKE AN EVENT SPACE IT'S... CHARMING? SURE, CHARMING KRYSTAL STEALS HIM FIRST AND BIBIANA IS ABOUT TO BURST GOD ARIE IS FAWNING OVER HER SHE'S AWFUL SHE STRAIGHT UP ASKS HIM IF SHE SHOULD BE AGGRESSIVE OH MY GOD HE ENCOURAGES HER TO STEAL HIM AWAY YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT OH MY GOD WORST BACHELOR SINCE JUAN PABLO CALLING IT NOW DON'T ENABLE HER OH NO NOW BIBIANA'S GONNA TATTLE BIBIANA CALLS HERSELF RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS, WHICH IS HER LEAD INTO TATTLING ON KRYSTAL YUP, GREAT IDEA ARIE SHUTS DOWN IMMEDIATELY ARIE IS LITERALLY ABOUT TO FUCK KRYSTAL IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE OH MY GOD THIS GIRL A GROUP OF THEM ARE HAVING A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE DATE AND THEN KRYSTAL JUST KIND OF SHOVES HER WAY IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF IT AND IS LIKE "DID EVERYONE HAVE THEIR TIME??????????????? ITS SOOOOOOOOOOO IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE HAS THEIR TIME" OH MY GOD SHUT UP YOU RIDICULOUS HYPOCRITE JESUS HERE GOES ARIE MAKING OUT WITH EVERYONE BACK TO THE HOUSE FOR THE DATE CARD THANK GOD MYSTERY WOMAN TALKS ABOUT HOW SHE'S SPECIAL AND A MOM AND SHOULD GET THE ONE ON ONE Spoiler: show I DON'T KNOW THIS LAUREN BEKAH AND ARIE ARE AT LEAST LIKE, DECENT FRIENDS WHO TALK ABOUT THEIR LIVES INSTEAD OF JUST, LITERALLY FUCKING ON CAMERA OR EGO STROKING ARIE IS DUMB AS DIRT AND ABOUT AS INTERESTING AS A BAG OF NAILS BUT AT LEAST HE'S LIKE, KIND OF A PERSON WHEN HE'S WITH BEKAH INSTEAD OF JUST A SEX MONSTER OR CONDESCENDING ASSHOLE KRYSTAL IS THROWING A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF SHADE FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON AND IS CONVINCED THAT SHE HAS IT ON LOCK FROM WEEK 3 SHE'S LIKE IM GONNA GET THIS ROSE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS SO STRONG AND GETS BTFO BY BEKAH AND THEN SHE'S LIKE 'I HAVE TO BE MORE AGGRESSIVE' GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP |
01-22-2018, 09:28 PM | #340 |
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KRYSTAL COMPLAINS TO MARIKH THAT GIRLS HATE HER
YEAH PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU JUST ACT HORRIBLE TO ALL OF THEM ALL THE TIME SHE'S SO NICE AND SO HARDWORKING AND HAS TO DO SO MUCH TO COMPETE, JUST ASK HER ONE ON ONE START! HEY THEY CAN AFFORD PLANES AGAIN I'LL KIND OF MISS THREE CONSECUTIVE HELICOPTER RIDES THEY GO TO A WINERY AND ARE SURE TO NAMEDROP IT SHE CALLS THIS DATE A VERY LAUREN S DATE THEY TALK ABOUT SLEEP, WHICH IS SUPER FUN AND WHIMSICAL, OR SOMETHING HAHA FUN DATE SO GREAT HAHA |
01-22-2018, 09:40 PM | #341 |
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THIS DATE IS SO BORING
NORMALLY I WOULD BE LIKE 'DRINKING AND LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE SIGN ME UP' BUT THESE TWO ARE SO DULL THERE'S NOT ENOUGH WINE IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THIS WORTH WATCHING LAUREN S TALKS ABOUT HER BORING RELATIONSHIP STORY AND IT'S NOT REALLY WORTH RECOUNTING AND IS PRETTY INCOHERENT AND NOT REALLY CONCLUSIVE OR INFORMATIVE SHE BASICALLY JUST TALKS ABOUT RANDOM SHIT AND ADMITS IT IN THE TALKING HEAD THAT SHE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE BACK TO THE HOUSE TIME FOR THE GROUP DATE PART 2 Spoiler: show OH MY GOD ANNALISSE IS ALSO AFRAID OF DOGS THIS GIRL JUST CAN'T GET A BREAK BACK TO THE DATE - LAUREN S JUST KIND OF SHITS ALL OVER HERSELF BY SAYING 'OH MY GOD IM SO NERVOUS AND I DONT KNOW WHY' OH MY GOD WOW HE SENDS HER HOME THANK FUCK THIS GIRL NEEDS TO LEAVE I WAS LITERALLY JUST TYPING THAT IT'S LIKE IMPOSSIBLE TO BE SENT HOME ON A ONE ON ONE THIS EARLY BUT WOW SHE MANAGED TO FUCK IT UP SO HARD WELL YOU'RE A CERTIFIABLE IDIOT BUT THAT WAS SMART AT LEAST NOW HE GETS LITERAL SAD VIOLINS BY HIMSELF AWKWARDDDDDD EVERYONE FREAKS THE FUCK OUT WHEN HER SUITCASE GETS TAKEN BECAUSE LIKE WHY WOULDN'T THEY BECAUSE WOW YOU REALLY HAVE TO FUCK UP TO GET SENT HOME ON A 1 ON 1 IN WEEK 3 OH MY GOD THEY'RE PRACTICALLY HAVING A WAKE FOR THIS GIRL LEAD BY FUCKING KRYSTAL OF COURSE ONE OF THE GIRLS LEAVES BECAUSE KRYSTAL IS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS FUCKING ASSHOLE SHE SAYS SHE WANTS HER TO GO HOME - PREACH SISTER |
01-22-2018, 09:41 PM | #342 |
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SIDE NOTE: THIS IS EASILY ONE OF THE WORST EPISODES OF THIS SHOW I HAVE EVER WATCHED IT'S STUNNING HOW BAD THIS IS
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01-22-2018, 09:49 PM | #343 |
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WELL, THE ONLY THING THAT IS GOING TO REDEEM THIS EPISODE IS THE INTRODUCTION OF CUTE ANIMALS, WHICH I GUESS IS WHAT WE'RE DOING NOW
ARIE DOES HAVE A CUTE DOG OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO PERFORM WITH THE DOGS, BECAUSE THIS SHOW JUST HAS TO EMBARRASS ALL OF THE WOMEN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE IS IT LIKE PART OF THE CONTRACT OH BOY HERE COMES THE TRAUMA FLASHBACK SHE ALMOST LOST HER EYE... FROM A DOG BITE? UM OK CUT TO A WEIRD PRAYING THING WITH BIBIANA AND TIA I GUESS BIBIANA ASKS GOD TO HAVE ONE OF THE GIRLS GET BITTEN BY A DOG WOW THEY DRAG IN A C LISTER TO NARRATE FIRST GIRL IS UH, MYSTERY WOMAN, AND SHE SUCKS LITTLE GIRL WALKS UP ON STAGE AND CRIES, IT IS AN IMPROVEMENT OVER THIS PERFORMANCE THEY REALLY ARE ALL GENUINELY HORRIBLE AT THIS WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE THESE ARE ALL PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED SHOW DOGS ANNALISSE IS THE POOPER SCOOPER LMAO THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE DISASTER AND THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO HIDE IT THE AUDIENCE IS LIKE 'WHY ARE WE HERE' EVEN THE KIDS ARE BORED WOW |
01-22-2018, 10:00 PM | #344 |
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OKAY AFTER DATE PARTY LET'S AT LEAST TRY TO GUILD THIS TURD, LITERALLY
MYSTERY WOMAN GETS PULLED ASIDE BY ARIE AND IS LIKE 'OH MY GOD HE IS SO INTO ME IM THE BEST IM GONNA GET THE ROSE' GOD AND SHE IMMEDIATELY SOBS ABOUT HER CHILD LIKE SO MAYBE CONSIDER INSTEAD OF LEAVING YOUR CHILD FOR THREE MONTHS TO GO MAYBE FIND A GUY THAT YOU WILL SURELY BREAK UP WITH ALMOST IMMEDIATELY YOU COULD... IDK, RAISE YOUR FUCKING CHILD???????????? JUST A SUGGESTION KRYSTAL IS CAUSING PEOPLE TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT ABOUT GETTING TIME WITH HIM AND IT'S MAKING EVERYTHING ULTRA SHITTY ALRIGHT ARIE JUST MAKES OUT WITH ANOTHER RANDO ANNALISSE IS THE PANICKER THEY'VE PICKED OUT TONIGHT GOD HERE'S KISS TWO OF THE NIGHT ANNALISSE FINALLY GETS HER TIME AND IS CUT OFF BEFORE SHE CAN SAY ANYTHING HERE WE GO AND THE GIRL WHO CAME IN KISSED HER ANNALISSE IS LIKE 'IM GOING HOME I KNOW IT' WELP SHE'S PROBABLY RIGHT IT'S A SHAME THOUGH I LIKED THE SHITTY TRAUMA FLASHBACKS ARIE SAYS HE MISSES SOMEONE HOW DO YOU MISS SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW IDK WHO THIS IS BUT KISS FOUR OF THE NIGHT OKAY FINALLY THE ROSE PLEASE JUST END THIS IT'S CHELSEA GOD OKAY UGH |
01-22-2018, 10:09 PM | #345 |
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PRE-COCKTAIL PARTY DRAMA
HE TAKES SEINNE FIRST, WHO SADLY GOT NO DATE THIS WEEK I HOPE THIS MEANS SHE'S STAYING BECAUSE SHE'S LIKE, SANE AND INTERESTING BIBIANA IS PLANNING SOME WEIRD GESTURE THAT IS LIKE, STARGAZING... IN THE MIDDLE OF LA UH-OH ONE OF THE LAURENS UNKNOWINGLY GETS THERE FIRST BIBIANA YOU FUCKED UP SIDE NOTE: THERE IS REALLY INAPPROPRIATE HAHA MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC PLAYING OH GOD AND ARIE BRINGS ANOTHER GIRL TO THE SETUP AND A THIRD WOW YOU FUCKED UP HARD GIRL ARIE AND BEKAH HAVE A HUMAN CONVERSATION FOR PEOPLE THAT SEEMS LIKE ACTUAL LIVING BEINGS MIGHT HAVE SHE'S RUNNING CIRCLES AROUND HIM THOUGH TOO MUCH TONGUE THOUGH ANNALISSE IS STRESS EATING OH HONEY YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST LEAVE AT THIS POINT |
01-22-2018, 10:19 PM | #346 |
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ARIE GOT TIA SOME HAY BALES AND MOONSHINE
BECAUSE SHE'S COUNTRY ...THOUGH SHE SAYS THE MOONSHINE IS GOOD SHIT LMAO HONEY PLEASE DON'T GO BLIND MAN THIS SEASON THERE'S LIKE, A FULL ON META GIRLS ARE LIKE, TALKING ABOUT OPTIMAL FLIRTING/KISSING STRATEGIES AND WHO SHOULD MAKE MOVES AND LIKE, TRACKING THE KISSING ORDER WOW ANNALISSE MENTIONS A KISS AND ARIE SHUTS HER DOWN ON THE SPOT OKAY PACK YOUR BAGS HON YOU'RE GOING HOME MAN HE EVEN MACKS ON THE WEIRD TAXIDERMY GIRL OVER HER ANNALISSE IS SPIRALING HARDDDDD THIS ONE GIRL IS LITERALLY SUPER SMASHED AND ABOUT TO FUCK HIM AND SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM SOBBING YOU NEED TO GO HOME DEAR ANNALISSE GOES BACK IN BEKAH IS LIKE 'I CANT WATCH THIS' THIS IS GOING TO GO JUST ABOUT AS WELL AS BEKAH THINKS SEND HER HOME SEND HER HOME SEND HER HOME WHOOOOOOO WELP WE HAVE HAD TWO EARLY SEND HOMES THIS IS LEGITIMATELY THE WORST EPISODE OF THIS SHOW I'VE SEEN YET THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE TRAINWRECK ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS IS THAT THIS MEANS BASICALLY EVERYONE ELSE IS SAFE THOUGH THAT ALSO MEANS KRYSTAL AND MYSTERY WOMAN IS SAFE EVERYONE IS FREAKIN THE FUCK OUT DRAMAAAAAAA |
01-22-2018, 10:29 PM | #347 |
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ALRIGHT LETS SEND SOME MORE WOMEN HOME
BIBIANA FREAKS OUT BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T TALK KRYSTAL IS STILL AWFUL ARIE IS MILQUETOAST LET'S SEE SOME HEADS ROLL REMINDER: GOOD BEKAH HAS A ROSE ALREADY AS DOES UM, SOMEONE ELSE I GUESS THE ROSE CEREMONY Spoiler: show NEXT WEEK: TAHOE AND THE BIG AGE REVEAL WHICH OF COURSE KRYSTAL IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ALL THE DRAMA IS ABOUT HOW KRYSTAL IS HORRIBLE OH MY GOD THE CREDITS IS MORE DOG TRAUMA FLASHBACKS ONE OF THE PRODUCERS IS LIKE "GEEZ GIRL" AFTER SHE FINISHES HER STORY |
01-22-2018, 10:32 PM | #348 |
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WOW WELL THAT WAS LEGITIMATELY HORRIBLE
IN SUMMARY: THE BACHELOR IS A DENSER THAN LEAD TEENAGER IN A MIDDLE AGED MAN'S BODY WHO BASICALLY WILL MAKE OUT WITH ANYTHING WITH A PULSE THE VILLAIN IS NOT JUST OBNOXIOUS, BUT AIRHEADED AND OBLIVIOUS WE HAD TWO PRE-CEREMONY SENDHOMES, ONE OF WHICH WAS DUE TO THE GIRL JUST KIND OF HAVING VERBAL DIARRHEA EVERYWHERE AND THEN OPENLY ADMITTING IT, THE OTHER BEING DUE TO THE GIRL JUST KIND OF MAKING HIM SEND HER HOME TWO GROUP DATES, BOTH OF WHICH WERE MEANT TO EMBARRASS EVERYONE AND WERE JUST KIND OF GENERALLY UNFUN AND A DISASTER AND RESULTED IN ULTRADRAMA AT BOTH POST-DATE PARTIES THE ONE ONE ON ONE DATE RESULTED IN A SENDHOME ON WEEK THREE LIKE I KNOW YOU GOT CASH FOR PRIVATE JETS AND SHIT AGAIN BUT CMON PRODUCERS YOU'RE BASICALLY JUST PHONING IT IN THIS SEASON CAN WE SEE SOME EFFORT? THANKS |
01-25-2018, 06:25 PM | #349 |
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I HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY A CERTAIN BABY LAPRAS THAT THIS EPISODE IS A VERIFIABLE TRAINWRECK
CONSIDERING HOW AWFUL THE LAST ONE WAS, THAT SURE IS SAYING SOMETHING SO BRACE YOURSELF BRENDA WE'RE GOIN IN FULL BORE TONIGHT ON THE BACHELOR TAHOE MAKEOUTS AGE CONTROVERSY KRYSTAL BEING THE ACTUAL WORST |
01-25-2018, 06:33 PM | #350 |
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CHATTING ABOUT BEKAH'S AGE I GUESS
THEY'RE 14 YEARS APART WHICH YEAH OKAY THAT'S A BIT WEIRD BUT LIKE IDK THIS FEELS PRETTY INCONSEQUENTIAL KRYSTAL BATHES IN THE BLOOD OF THE FALLEN (I.E. THE SACRIFICED LAUREN) SHE CLAIMS SHE WILL BE THE VOICE OF REASON/REALITY UHUH CHRIS HARRISON EXPLAINS THE BASIC PREMISE OF THE SHOW TAHOE WHOOO I MEAN IT'S TAHOE IT'S PRETTY FUCKIN GORGEOUS BUT WE'RE NOT HERE FOR THE SCENERY OH MY GOD THEY'RE STAYING THE HARD ROCK CAFE FUCK ME YEAH WOW BEAUTIFUL VIEW OF... A GOLF COURSE QUIRKY CHICK LOVES ALL THE DEAD ANIMALS ON THE WALLS DAAAATE CARDDD Spoiler: show YAAAAAAY ONE OF THE DECENT GIRLS IS GETTING A DATE HERE COMES ARIE TO GREET THE LADIES SHE LITERALLY LEAVES AND THE GIRLS ALREADY TALK ABOUT HER BEING SENT HOME SAVAGE KRYSTAL IS BETTING THAT SHE'S GOING HOME, AND IS, OF COURSE, HAPPY ABOUT THAT PROSPECT |
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