What happened to the I'm Going To Hell thread?

[DaveTheFishGuy]

I never remember how much to tip in the States. I end up either tipping so low I look like a tight-arse or so high that the server tries to get me to adopt them.

[Talon87]

For many years, 15% was standard. In recent years there's been a migration towards 18%, with the obvious side effect of many people who can't be arsed to calculate 18% simply tipping a flat 20% instead.

I'll see how many flags I notice in town when I go out today. I still don't feel like we have "flags EVERYWHERE," but it could feel that way to someone who associates flags with town hall, castles, and patriotic zealots. *shrug*

[Tyranidos]

I always do 20% because its easy to calculate.

[OkikuMew]

I just use the amount I paid in taxes, which is approximatively 15%. Might not be the exact "15%" tip since it's (obviously) on the price before the taxes, but it's more simple to calculate that way. And obviously I add more or less depending on how good the service was.

[Doppleganger]

http://deadspin.com/phillies-fans-re...-am-1563288296

[Loki]

About the 20 American things.

Spoiler: show

1) Too small? Too large?

2) Somewhat true. NYC is probably one of the bigger offenders here, but people want to feel pride for their own homeland and sometimes put their flags up to signify they ethnicity. I imagine in middle America where cultural diversity is smaller, it's a non-issue.

3) I can kind of understand the complaint about taxes since each state has different laws about taxes. Do I pay taxes on clothing? What about clothing over $200? Which foods have taxes? Which don't? It can be really confusing when junk food has a tax but potato chips doesn't because it's made from potatoes and they're a vegetable.

4) If you can't calculate 15% in your head, it's not my problem.

5) Yeah it's bullshit.

6) Everything? I guess Drive-Thrus and such exist, but I wouldn't say EVERYTHING.

7) No one watches commercials anyway.

Gross.

9) Oh really?

10) Too low? WTF? You wanna tower over people as you shit? These things need to work for both adults and children and short people. I will agree that there are cracks between stall doors which I also dislike.

11) I always tell them no pickles, so I'm not sure how true or untrue this is.

12) I think College Football in general gets more praise than normal Football since they are in fact students who likely have to juggle more than just football. I wouldn't say they're celebrities since once they graduate, we don't see any "Where are they now?" unless they become NFL players.

13) Jaywalking is weird. It's mostly ignored except when someone needs to write more tickets. Seriously.

14) The world outside America must be devoid of any sweetness if normal bread tastes like cake to outsiders.

15) Soda is cheaper than water in the USA.

16) Meet Chinese people and tell me if Americans are still loud.

17) We like to completely cover our shit in liquid so we don't have to endure the smell.

1 True. Credit Card theft and fraud is exceedingly common in the USA because of the general lax security. My friend even has it written that their CC should require ID on use, but no one ever asks for it.

19) Yeah it is. I stopped saying it around the 5th grade.

20) Sadly.

[Doppleganger]

Complaining about sweet bread is funny when your nation (the UK) is the largest consumer of sugar on the planet.

[Doppleganger]

Googled "teleportation".

Was linked to a recent article talking about technology the public expects to appear in the next 60 years.

One of them talked about this, a universal cure for male virginity.

[Talon87]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

Googled "teleportation".

Was linked to a recent article talking about technology the public expects to appear in the next 60 years.

One of them talked about this, a universal cure for male virginity.

I get why you posted it here, but man if that is not an awesome medical science story.

[Talon87]

Courtesy of this upload.

[phoopes]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

http://deadspin.com/phillies-fans-re...-am-1563288296

Hahahaha I know one of those guys

[Mercutio]

Originally Posted by Talon87

The image macroer alleges, 20 of the weirdest things about America that Americans don't realize are weird.

My thoughts:

Spoiler: show

1. If by "portion sizes" they mean "how much food people consciously plate onto their dinner plates at home," then I can see how this might be weird to some people from some cultures but I don't think it's weird myself. If by "portion sizes" they mean the Small, Medium, and Large standard sizes we have for french fries and soft drinks at fast food restaurants, then I fail to see how this is weird to anyone from a westernized nation.

2. Not ... really ... O_o In suburbia, you might see a flag on one out of every ten properties. In the city, you'll find a few more (atop buildings, hanging off the sides of buildings) but still not that many. I mean, maybe there are more here than other places, but I've never noticed the opposite (a lack of flags) when visiting other countries, so ...

3. It's called mental math, dipshit. You know your sales tax in your state and you factor it in. In answer to your question, those too stupid or too lazy to do mental math tend to underpurchase, i.e. buy ~$15 worth of goods when all they have is a $20.

4. See No.3.

5. This is a recent trend that became popular only in the last fifteen years. What you describe is the way it has historically been in America. Many, many physicians are annoyed by the current "I tell YOU what I want! " trend in the American doctor-patient relationship, but where it will go from here, who knows. It may die out in America ... or it may soon spread to your country. ;o

6. False. Next.

7. True. Next.

8. I think the last time I ever had the stuff I was in the 4th grade, possibly younger. It was not something stocked in our house and I would never buy the stuff today. Nasty.

9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man. ^^; That's an interesting one, that is. Have any of you non-former-UK-colonies-or-UK UPNers felt the same way as the Italian? Yeah, we use "Oh, really? " a lot. In a totally kind, inviting, warm, non-sarcastic way. We can also use it in a snide, sarcastic manner ... but it sounds like the Italian was mistaking the former for the latter in most cases.

10. Too low? You do realize that in some countries people squat and shit into holes in the floor, yes? I dunno. I think toilets' heights are fine. MUST BE BECAUSE I'M AMERICAN. As for the gaps in public restroom stalls that permit people seeing in: it's to allow you to see people's feet without being immodest or intrusive. You can tell that the stall is in use and go use another one. Spoiler: no one wants to peek at you taking a shit and the 0.00001% who do are likely to have given you trouble even in a world with no gaps in the stalls.

11. Depends on the state, really. More common in the American MidWest or the immigrant cities like New York and Chicago, I would say. Once you get away from burgers and hot dogs, I don't think most of the other states would really be in the business of placing pickles on things. And even in Indiana we don't tend to put pickles on anything besides burgers. As for whole pickles, these are stocked in every grocery store but they're not necessarily in every home; and then even for those homes that do have them, most people only eat pickles once in a blue moon. It's not exactly common to find someone who eats whole pickles weekly, let alone daily. In fact, I'd say it's downright rare.

12. If it does not surprise you that Olympians are treated as celebrities despite, in many cases, their being ordinary people with an athletic hobby (see: many of the track and field stars), then you can understand the college football phenomenon. It's pretty much the same thing. If an Olympian is a pre-professional, a college football player is likewise a pre-professional. If the Olympics was originally a venue for amateurs (i.e. non-professionals) to compete, college football championships are similarly a venue for amateurs (i.e. non-professionals) to compete. If the best Olympians might make their way onto pro teams, the best college football players might make their way onto pro teams.

But maybe my Olympic analogy is horribly flawed. (Especially in recent decades with nations fielding more and more professional athletes on their Olympic teams.) And maybe it doesn't even matter because fucking American college football. -_-; ^^;

13. Jaywalking is a crime ... for which you will almost certainly never be arrested or ticketed. Everyone jaywalks. I guess I'd say just don't do it right in front of a police officer or patrol car.

14. A bit of a leading question, though you may not have realized it. You nail it when you identify the sweeter breads: hamburger buns and "sandwich breads". Generic sliced bread isn't that sweet, and non-sliced loaves baked in the bakery are no different from what you'll find anywhere else in the world. Hamburger buns are sweet because ... well, "because they are." That's really all I can say: if you go to a fast food chain like McDonald's or Burger King, the buns there are all very sweet. So it should come as no surprise to you that the hamburger buns sold in the grocery for home use are also rather sweet. But ordinary sliced bread? Not that sweet. Ordinary bakery bread? Ordinary.

15. WELCOME TO AMERICA. I think it's one of those things where it'd be business suicide to be the restaurant that takes away free refills while the others are still offering it. You'd have to convince every single restaurant in the nation to all go in it together to ban free refills to not be screwed over by angry customers, I think. Just isn't going to happen. Soft drinks remain inexpensive to distribute and vend and thus there's no significant pressure to take away free refills anyway. (That $1 cup of soda you bought only costs 10¢: plastic cup, soda syrup, running fees and maintenance fees on the carbonated beverage machine, everything. The profit margin on soda is huge. You could get four free refills and they'd still be making a profit equal to the cost, i.e. total revenue twice costs.)

16. False. Next.

17. WELCOME TO AMERICA!

18. Yeaaaaah ...

19. This is only done in Grades K thru 5, so basically up until around age 11 or so. After that it's no longer practiced. Is it creepy? Yeah. Is it creepy to a child ages 4 to 11? Hell no. Most kids see the pledge as a fun little game. Kids and adults alike enjoy ritual and that's a relatively innocuous one to start the day. And, per the orderly nature of the pledge and the serious atmosphere it creates, it's usually a great way for the teacher to get the rowdy kids calmed down in the early morning and ready to start a new day of learning. But yes, it's still a vestige of McCarthyism that can sound very creepy when you have all of these boys and girls reciting the words like children from The Village of the Damned, I'll give you that.

20. Litigation culture.

I do think you underestimate how cult like a lot of your nationalism appears to some other countries. Like, that pledge of allegiance thing, that's really creepy, particularly given that the only reason you're not still doing it with a Nazi salute is because, well, Hitler sort of ruined that for everyone.

Also don't call mental maths on us, not including the tax in the price is idiotic :p

[phoopes]

I'm in high school and we still say the pledge every morning. I mean, I guess you don't have to stand and say it but most people do. My homeroom teacher tries to make everyone at least stand for it but there's a kid who doesn't. There are a few who stand but don't say it. The pledge still happens every morning and I do it out of habit but it's not really required or anything.

[Mercutio]

Remember when Obama didn't put his hand on his heart?

[AshsBabyLapras]

The whole flag thing is really strange to me. And it's not just the American flag, there's all the state flags, the Confederate flag |:, the various college flags, etc. There really seem to be a lot of homes (at least in the areas I've been to) that have their own flagpoles, which is bizarre to me.

Muyo's family really wanted us to get an Adelaide uni flag for them and we had to explain multiple times that that is just... not a thing here. There's no televised uni sport - Hell, there's barely any inter-university competition anyway (at least in this state?). I love my university and I think they do really great work, but I don't have clothing/bumper stickers/beach towels/whatever else to advertise my alum status. Fun fact: We used to have a print shop at the uni that made T-shirts and such... it went out of business. u.u

Also I can't eat American bread. It's gross.

[deh74]

As a German living in America I have to agree with the others that the overt nationalism is very weird. Although Germany actively suppresses nationalism so I may be slightly biased.

Also talon, one of every ten glosses having a flag openly displayed is a very large amount and it seems weird, especially on the forth of July when every other house us flying a flag of some sort.

Plus, ask the confederate flags is just creepy, even in the north it's common. If our equivalent of the confederate flag was flown by anyone the police would show up at terrier house and they'd likely be seen as a racist.

Also, there are only so bang flags on the Boston Common because the city puts one there fur every Bostonian killed in war, every memorial day, so fur a big city, it's natural for a lot of people to have died from there.

[Doppleganger]

I think some Americans who find the stereotypes humorous kind of perpetuate the stereotype by taking it up. I know BPK told me he as a Canadian never used to say "eh" but kind of picked it up after being exposed to the stereotype enough times.

Recently I've become a bit of an American flag pimper (I've wanted to get a bandana in its colours so I can wear it) but mostly to uphold the stereotype, not because it arose naturally through cultural indoctrination.

I mean, when I see stereotypical Americans on TV, it's because they're wearing the American flag somewhere. Think Bandit Keith. I find that funny, so I want to do it too. In a similar vein, there's a trend I notice in comics or conversation where people are imitating Americans and they bring up "freedom" after the most irrelevant of incidents.

Say, there's a long line, or a food fight, or an inconvenience of any sort, people will say something along the lines of "Sometimes I wonder if this country is still free". I find it funny, and so I run with it!

Originally Posted by phoopes

I'm in high school and we still say the pledge every morning.

Maybe it's because your avatar used to be Ben Stein, but I always imagined you to be just a few years younger than myself. o_o

[Amras.MG]

I personally don't own an American flag, and the only school gear that I own is stuff I either got for free or was given by my parents/sister.

So what I'm saying is that I'm Australian at heart, please adopt me ABL <3

[Talon87]

English friends of family on holiday in the US for several weeks. Drove down to my parents' to have dinner with everyone. Remembered this Top 20 discussion and decided to share it with them. Man did they get a hoot out of it. I think they agreed with 16 of the 20 things shared. (16 out of 19 if you toss out the Italian "Oh, really?" one since that was clearly an American-Italian issue and not an American-English one.)

[Jerichi]

Originally Posted by AshsBabyLapras

The whole flag thing is really strange to me. And it's not just the American flag, there's all the state flags, the Confederate flag |:, the various college flags, etc. There really seem to be a lot of homes (at least in the areas I've been to) that have their own flagpoles, which is bizarre to me.

Muyo's family really wanted us to get an Adelaide uni flag for them and we had to explain multiple times that that is just... not a thing here. There's no televised uni sport - Hell, there's barely any inter-university competition anyway (at least in this state?). I love my university and I think they do really great work, but I don't have clothing/bumper stickers/beach towels/whatever else to advertise my alum status. Fun fact: We used to have a print shop at the uni that made T-shirts and such... it went out of business. u.u

Also I can't eat American bread. It's gross.

I should have gone to uni overseas. I hate having school spirit, at least outwardly.

[Talon87]

A comic about one girl and her Nii-san resin kit, courtesy of frickin' Imgur.

Spoiler: show

[Doppleganger]

That looks like Dan Kim's work. Good to see that perverted pessimist is still at the game!

[Talon87]

Originally Posted by Doppleganger

That looks like Dan Kim's work. Good to see that perverted pessimist is still at the game!

I am amazed you recognized it. I have a friend who has followed Mr. Kim's work for almost ten years. I still didn't recognize it myself though, not being a fan of his work and not following him. It wasn't until I saw his name in the comments section that I realized, "Oh yeah! That is his drawing style! " Figured I'd pass along to my friend that I saw this strip some time later this week. Did not expect someone on UPN to recognize the artist as well. What a small world.

[Talon87]

"MRW I get home from a deployment and take my boyfriend's pants off for the first time"

20,000 Purrs Under the Sea

[Loki]

That Dan Kim comic is from his H.H. series where Jast USA hired him to do a series of comics based on their porn games. This is the continuation of the comic you linked.