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Old 08-06-2014, 01:43 PM   #1
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Tales from the Magical Land of Yupien

(So yeah, the idea for this was brought up on Skype a while ago, where it was decided there needed to be a UPN yaoi fic. I took it upon myself to start writing, and I ended up with this. Make of it what you will. If anyone wants to request a pairing or write a chapter him/herself, just let me know.)

Welcome, one and all, to the magical land of Yupien, a multiverse of sorts where all of us forumgoers coexist, living in imperfect harmony. It is within this universe where our story takes place; it is here where it is described just what would happen if we were all forced into the same place. Which, naturally, contains lots of homoeroticism. Enjoy...

Completed Ships List:
Deebs x Cibbir

Chapter 1: Poignant Moments

"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!"

These were the shouts of various Trainers in the Anime Style Battling League as they cheered on the competitors in the drinking contest. The Time Out Bar held such a contest every Friday night, and the winner would get free booze for the week. No one won more than Cibbir; despite being just eighteen years old he could hold his liquor extraordinarily well. He sat at the bar, a warm beer in hand, because apparently that's how Brits drink them. Not like I would know anything about alcohol. Cibbir sure did though, as nine more glasses sat empty on the bar in front of him. He looked to his left, at his slightly older companion who had just polished off his tenth glass, also warm.

"Sure you can keep going, Connor?" Dave asked, letting out a loud belch as he slammed the glass on the counter.

"Shu'up, Dave, you know I can drink you under the table any day," Cibbir replied, his speech slightly slurred at this point.

"I'll bet you can," the man sitting to Cibbir's right smirked. The slow southern drawl belonged to none other than Deebs, who was about to down his eighth glass.

"Oh, go suck a left nut, Deebs," Cibbir snapped. He raised his glass to his mouth and gulped down the liquid until there was nothing left but a bit of foam on his ginger beard. He quickly wiped this away with his hand before setting the glass down in front of him next to the others.

"Why is it always the left one?" Deebs asked. "Not getting enough love there?" He took his beer and splashed a bit of it onto Cibbir's crotch, eliciting a jump from the smaller man. Deebs chuckled and finished off the rest of his drink, casually sliding it on the counter into the other glasses he'd accumulated. One of them toppled over and crashed to the floor, shattering immediately, and Jeri scowled at Deebs from behind the bar. (A/N: I decided to make the LOs the bartenders. Seems appropriate; they keep the peace.) "Whoops, my bad, I'll go clean that up." Deebs hopped off the barstool and went to go find a broom and dustbin somewhere.

"So, Poignant Lyrics, how are the battles going?" Came a voice from a table near the bar.

"Poignant Lyrics?" Another voice asked. "Who are you talking to, EG?"

"It's Cibbir," EG replied.

"Ugh, why would you bring that up?!?" Cibbir groaned, clearly not looking forward to what was likely to come next.

"Poignant Lyrics, huh?" The man sitting to Dave's left raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain what that means, Connor?"

"Well Kush," EG broke in, "he used to have that as his username on Serebii."

"No way," Dave laughed. "Does this mean you were like, a proper emo or something back then?"

"Well, at least that's still better than Ima_Penguin," a teenage boy sitting farther from the bar, as he wasn't old enough to drink, chimed in. He had a bag of golf clubs over his shoulder, being forced into golf camp for the week.

"I hope you get clobbered by a golf club, Red," Cibbir grumbled.

"This mental image is hilarious," Dave continued to laugh. Raucous laughter filled the bar just as Deebs returned with a broom but no dustbin, for Deh was already in the bar.

"What's going on in here?" Deebs shouted over the noise.

"Apparently Connor used to be called Poignant Lyrics some time in the past," Kush explained. Deebs burst out laughing at the sound of it.

"That is so emo and legendary!" He had to hold on to the counter to avoid falling over from laughing so hard. "That's it! Cibbir's out, Poignant Lyrics is in."

"Well, how will we shorten that?" Kush wondered. "PL? Poignant? Poigy? Lyric?"

"Poigy! Poigy it is!" Deebs cheered.

"Poigy it is!" The rest of the bar echoed.

"So Piggy, err, Poig..." Kush's stumbling over his words here sparked something so much more.

"Ahahahaha! Piggy!" Dave, at this point, was laughing so hard his sides hurt. The rest of the bar joined in with boisterous laughter.

"You're literally all terrible people," Cibbir groaned, burying his head in his hands.

"And of course there's a Miss Piggy Says meme generator," Kush announced, trying to contain himself as he toyed with his phone. "Because why wouldn't there be?"

"Send me the link right now!"

"Oh, me too! Me too!" Anyone and everyone wanted to get in on the newfound Piggy-bashing. Cibbir, however, remained silent and kept his head down.

"I guess I'll start off with this one." Kush sent his newly-created meme to everyone in the bar, and within seconds, the entire bar erupted.

"Piggy likes three-movers! Oh God that's good!"

"Wait wait wait I've got one," Dave declared.

"How about this one?" Red added.

"I've made one as well," A mysterious man named Stealthy shouted from a dimly lit corner of the bar.

"No, this has gotta be the best one," Deebs bragged. And soon everyone's phones were lit with memes with phrases such as "Piggy likes Bictiwl," "Piggy likes Nuke Squads," and even "Fossils, Bitch." And then came the big hit.

"Piggy likes Deebs."

The room was quiet for but a second before it blew up with laughter once more. Deebs blushed a bit and laughed along, but he had a feeling a Cibbir wouldn't take this one so well. And right he was.

"Man, there is a special place in Hell reserved for you people!" The entire room went silent. Cibbir got off the barstool and stood up; his face was beet red. He merely stood for a moment, then trudged out of the bar, struggling to stay balanced in his inebriated state, and slammed the door shut with a bang. The bar remained still for a few minutes, but conversation gradually returned, and the night continued as if nothing were wrong. Deebs, however, knew better...


Various trainers returned to the bar the following night, eager to discuss the day's happenings. However, there was one glaring absence: Cibbir. Everyone knew Cibbir always went to the bar on weekends, so his absence was noticed immediately. They waited, but he never came. It was getting late, and soon they realized he wasn't coming. Deebs knew he had to go talk to him.

"Guys, I gotta cut out early tonight, I'll see you all tomorrow!" He announced to the crowd, with a wink added to make it seem more inconspicuous. Luckily no one really thought much of it, since the missing Cibbir was what was on their minds. Deebs walked out of the bar and set out to find his friend. His thoughts raced with questions as he ran.

"Why did he take all of that so hard? Were we really being that offensive? Why was 'Piggy likes Deebs' the breaking point for him? What does that mean? Could he...actually feel that way? Do I feel the same way about him? Wait a minute..." Deebs slowed to a halt. "Where am I even going?" He realized that he had absolutely no idea where to look for Cibbir. He blocked out the barrage of questions from his mind to focus, and one place came to mind. "Of course... He'd have to be here." With his destination in mind, Deebs resumed his run, quickening his pace.

Darting down the streets of downtown Yupien, in a couple minutes he stopped in front of a large building the size of a mall. In bright neon lights a huge sign read "ASB Arena Portal Hub." Deebs walked through the sliding glass doors and gazed at the vast amount of portals that lay before him. The Portal Hub contains fifteen floors of portals leading to every arena in the ASB. Deebs went to the elevator in the back of the building but found it was out of order. "Son of a bitch..." He cursed. "Who the hell broke the elevator? Guess I'll be taking the stairs..." Seven flights of stairs later, Deebs arrived at the seventh floor sweaty and gasping for breath. He searched the floor for the portal labeled "Resplendent Rapids" but couldn't seem to find it anywhere. "I swear it's on this floor..." And then he remembered. "Oh, right..." He walked to a portal, above which was a sign that read "Cibbir's Ribbir." Deebs chuckled as he remembered when he replaced the sign. "Cibbir had gotten so mad at me for that... Hmm, maybe I do abuse him a little bit." Deebs swiped his Gym Leader card into the console next to the portal. Without it, he would not have access to the arena. As this was a Gym Trainer Arena, only the Gym Trainer and his or her Gym Leader could enter outside battling hours. The console accepted Deebs' card, and the portal doors opened, the light inside swirling to life. The console flashed a green light, signaling the portal was ready for entry, and Deebs stepped inside.

When he stepped outside, everything around him was different. An immense expanse of forest lay in front of him, the densely packed trees veiling everything in the forest. Deebs could hear the rushing of water from the nearby river all around him. "Well this is certainly a great place to have some alone time." He journeyed through the forest for what seemed like an hour, but eventually he reached the clearing, and saw Cibbir, sitting on the river bank, staring at his reflection in the water. "I'm not sure how well he can actually see his reflection, considering how fast the river flows." Deebs took a deep breath, and slowly walked towards Cibbir as to not alert him of his presence. He remained undetected and noticed how intently Cibbir was staring into the rushing water. Deebs finally sat down next to him, and Cibbir still didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Hey, Cibbir." Deebs greeted. Cibbir jumped up, startled by the sudden intrusion of privacy.

"D-Deebs! What are you doing here?"

"I came here to check on you. You never miss a night at the pub with us, it's obvious something's wrong."

"Gee, you think?" Cibbir spat. "Leave me alone, it's obvious that's why I came here."

"Well stewing in your anger isn't going to help, is it?" Deebs turned towards Cibbir and noticed that his eyes were red. "He wasn't...crying, was he? No, he couldn't have been..."

"It's better than talking to you." Cibbir turned to face Deebs; his eyes were puffy and full of scorn. Deebs felt a twinge of guilt, but also found him strangely adorable. He didn't know how to respond to this and was surprised when Cibbir broke the silence. "You know I thought I was done with this shit when I came here."

"What shit?"

"The harassment. Or as you call it, 'joking'. What a load of rubbish that is..." Deebs attempted to interrupt, but Cibbir would have none of it. "Back before I came here to Yupien, I was constantly the butt of endless sheep jokes. I just couldn't stand it. So I left. And now, you all have brought up a delicate subject from my past. Something I was ashamed of, something I wanted to repress and never let see the light of day. And you've made it the very center of my misery. I..." Cibbir's voice tapered off and was drowned out by the rushing of the river.

"You what?" Deebs tensed up, preparing for the worst.

"I was starting to feel at home here. I guess I was wrong." The words felt like a blow to Deebs' head. He started to feel light-headed and sick to his stomach. Cibbir's countenance, however, remained unforgiving. "I did like you Deebs, I really did. But you obviously don't care about me, do you?" Deebs' mind grasped hopelessly for something, anything to convince him otherwise, but words eluded him.

"You...you're wrong," he managed.

"Oh yeah?" Cibbir raised an eyebrow, though his eyes remained narrow.

"Prove it."

Deebs took a deep breath once more, and he put an arm around Cibbir. He pulled him closer so that they were just inches apart. Then he leaned in, closed his eyes, and kissed him on the lips. For the first time that night, Cibbir wasn't scowling at Deebs; his eyes were now wide open in shock. Yet, he didn't break away. Something felt...right. The kiss lasted for several seconds before they broke it off simultaneously. Cibbir's heart pounded with excitement.

"I care about you, Connor." Deebs whispered breathily. "I care about you a lot. More than you know." "Did I just call him Connor and not Cibbir? Whoa..."

"I...I don't know what to say..." Cibbir's mind was reeling now; he had no idea what to think of Deebs at this point.

"Say you care about me too. Say you'll let me be with you. That's all I want..."

"I..." Tears were brought once again to Cibbir's eyes. "I think...I think I love you, Deebs."

"And I love you too, Cibbir." A smile now stretched across Deebs' face and quickly formed into a cheeky grin. "Now, why don't we go for a swim?"

"But I don't have a bathing suit with me..."

"Neither do I," Deebs winked. Cibbir's jaw dropped.

(Warning: the following spoiler contains explicit sexual content. Do not read on if you are offended by such material. (And Kuno if you'd rather this part not be posted here don't hesitate to tell me and I'll take it down. Then again you'd probably just do it yourself because you can.))

Spoiler: show
Deebs peeled off the sky blue tank top he was wearing to reveal a lean-muscled physique. Cibbir's eyes gazed at him lustily, starting from his striking eyes, down to his slender but perfectly square chest and further down to his well-toned abs. Cibbir now desperately wanted to go even further. Deebs wasn't going to let him have it just yet, though. He turned towards the river, scooped some water out, and splashed it on his body. He slowly caressed himself until his skin shone from the coating of water. Cibbir fidgeted from his seat on the riverbank; he couldn't take the waiting anymore. He felt himself growing harder inside his pants, and moved his hand in his pants to tend to the problem. Finally, Deebs stepped between Cibbir and the river, and, facing the river, unzipped his shorts and removed them from his waist, boxers and all. Cibbir gawked as they fell to the ground, revealing Deebs' bare ass. Deebs turned his head around and grinned at Cibbir, and then he dove into the river with graceful form. Cibbir could just catch a glimpse of his friend's penis before he landed in the water with just enough of a splash to get Cibbir slightly wet. Deebs resurfaced and shook out his hair; despite the strong current he had no trouble maneuvering in the water.

"C'mon Cibbir, the water feels so great right now." Deebs' voice was smooth as he beckoned Cibbir to join him. Cibbir practically melted at the sound. He eagerly took off his shirt and tossed it next to Deebs'. Though Cibbir was short, he was also stocky, and his upper body was well-muscled. Deebs couldn't seem to look away from his barrel chest. Cibbir now fingered the waistband of his shorts, but he hesitated.

"Deebs...I'm not sure I can do this," he admitted.

"Why not, babe?" Deebs asked.

"I mean, I'm supposed to be straight and everything, so I've never done it with a guy before. Never even felt this way for a guy before. I'm...not sure I'm ready." Deebs swam up to the riverbank and looked up at Cibbir with an assuring expression.

"Cibbir, you can trust me, I won't hurt you. You'll enjoy this, I promise." Suddenly a feeling of serenity washed over Cibbir. He felt...taken care of. He slowly and still a bit nervously took off his shorts, and soon after, his underwear. His mostly erect cock sprung free from its confinement, catching Deebs' eye. "Hey, not bad. Not bad at all..." Deebs licked his lips for added effect.

"Just not bad? Oh, is yours so much bigger, then?" Cibbir challenged.

"Well you'll find that out the hard way, now won't you," Deebs smirked. Cibbir's face blanched at that thought, causing Deebs to burst out laughing. "Oh come on, it won't hurt too bad, I told you. Now get in here already!" Deebs grabbed onto Cibbir's ankle and gave it a sharp tug, causing Cibbir to lose his balance and slip into the river. He yelped as he fell in, sank under for a couple seconds, and emerged afterwards, feeling so at peace in the water that any urge to yell at Deebs for what he just did magically vanished. Deebs wrapped his arms around Cibbir's waist and swam to the cluster of rocks in the middle of the river, pushing Cibbir into them and pressing up against him. Cibbir leaned into the contact and body heat and began to kiss Deebs. He ran his hands up and down his friend's back and felt his crotch rub up against him, loving the feeling. Deebs gently pushed his tongue into Cibbir's mouth, letting it explore every inch of it. He pinched Cibbir's nipple with his left hand while slowly moving his right hand down to Cibbir's ass, giving it a squeeze. Cibbir moaned from the pleasure of the touch, leaving his mouth wide open for Deebs to take full advantage of.

"You're...moaning...already?" Deebs managed to get out between kisses. "I haven't...even...started yet!" Cibbir wanted to say something but was too caught up in the passion to care. He gasped as he felt Deebs' growing arousal press into him. His curiosity got the better of him, and he reached a hand down to feel Deebs' cock for himself. He was thoroughly surprised.

"He's not even half hard yet, and it's almost as big as mine already!" He thought, panicking a bit.

"Someone getting impatient?" Deebs chuckled. "Alright then, let's get down to business." His mouth left Cibbir's and slowly moved down to his friend's neck, kissing the whole way, then down to his thick chest, where he licked his nipple. Cibbir leaned back and, unable to control himself, let out another moan. Deebs continued his journey with his tongue, licking his way down Cibbir's abs and going underwater to keep going. He followed the trail of ginger hair down, and at last he reached his destination. Cibbir nearly jumped when he felt Deebs' tongue on his erection.

"O-Oh God, Deebs!" He moaned. Deebs licked all the way from the base of the shaft to the tip, swirling around as he went. He wrapped his arms around Cibbir's thighs, and then he took the hard organ into his mouth. He began to suck, moving up and down, causing Cibbir to tremble with excitement. Cibbir couldn't resist thrusting into the hot mouth, shoving his dick down Deebs' throat. The feeling was incredible, and Cibbir's penis began to leak precum, which Deebs eagerly swallowed. Deebs was running out of breath now and came back to the surface to get some air, relishing the look of pleasure on Cibbir's face.

"Please...don't stop..." Cibbir pleaded.

"Oh, I love to hear you beg." Deebs took a deep breath and dove back underwater. He grabbed Cibbir's cock and began to stroke it while he sucked on one of his balls. "Heh, he's always telling me to suck a left nut and here I am, sucking his left nut." Cibbir strung Deebs' hair in his fingers and grabbed the back of his head, pushing it into his crotch. Deebs felt Cibbir's cock pulsating against his cheek and rubbed up against it a bit before enveloping it with his mouth once more, using a free hand to continue to massage Cibbir's balls. Cibbir continued to move his hips involuntarily; his while body felt like it was on fire. Soon he sensed his climax approaching, and he let go of Deebs' head and did his best to stop moving into him. But Deebs didn't stop sucking and slurping every inch of Cibbir's length.

"Deebs...if you keep doing that...I'll..." Cibbir shouted, having to hold the rocks behind him to steady himself. Whether Deebs didn't hear him from underwater or simply ignored him is unclear, but he continued to suck, his tongue working wonders. At last Cibbir simply couldn't take it anymore, and he came right into Deebs' mouth. Creamy white liquid poured into Deebs' throat, and he drank every bit of it, even continuing to suck afterwards to get every last drop. Finally he rose back to the surface and gazed at Cibbir, lust filling his eyes. He licked a bit of cum from the corner of his mouth and then his hands were all over Cibbir again.

"Alright, now it's my turn to have some fun." Deebs' whispered into his ear. He grabbed Cibbir by the shoulders to turn him around and pushed him up onto the rocks, bending him over so that his hole was staring Deebs in the face. He took an asscheek in each hand and began to massage Cibbir's behind, spreading the cheeks apart to get a better view of the hole. Then he slowly pushed one water-coated finger inside, causing Cibbir to gasp at the unfamiliar feeling. "Relax, it's just my finger," Deebs said, slightly amused. He began to move his finger in and out, twisting and turning a bit to hit different spots. Cibbir moaned in pleasure when Deebs hit a certain spot; this was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Deebs eventually added a second finger, startling Cibbir once more at the sudden increase in thickness. His fingers began to scissor back and forth, stretching out Cibbir's virgin ass as much as it would allow. Cibbir was moaning constantly now, thoroughly enjoying the feeling inside him. Deebs now used his other hand to stroke his own dick; he wanted it to be as big and hard as possible when he put it into Cibbir. As he sped up the thrusting of his fingers into Cibbir's ass, he quickened the pace of his jerking as well, keeping a steady rhythm. Soon Deebs stepped back, pulling his fingers away and leaving Cibbir hungry for the feeling.

"Why'd you stop?" Cibbir asked, a bit disappointed.

"Because it's time for the real thing," Deebs replied. He pushed Cibbir a bit further up on the rocks so he had room for himself, then stepped up behind him. He grabbed his massive, saliva-coated shaft and guided it towards Cibbir's hole, then slowly began to push it inside. Cibbir's eyes widened as he felt Deebs enter him.

"Ow ow ow ow ow!!!" He yelped. He felt like his asshole was being ripped apart. "You said this wouldn't hurt!"

"Well, I lied, it's gonna hurt for a bit," Deebs admitted. 'But it'll get better soon, I promise. Try to relax, it'll help."

"Yeah, like I can relax when this is going up my asshole." Cibbir gritted his teeth and clutched onto the rocks, trying to cope with the pain.

"Alright, I'm all the way in now. This is the worst it'll get." Deebs' length was fully sheathed inside Cibbir, so now he began to pull back out. Cibbir's breathing was erratic as he tried to endure the pain, and yelped once more when Deebs suddenly pushed back in.

"Deebs, it really hurts!" Cibbir cried. His asshole was clamped tight around Deebs' cock, only serving to make the pain worse. Deebs frowned, trying to think of how to get Cibbir to relax. He reached over and grabbed Cibbir's shoulders, gently massaging them, and he could almost immediately hear Cibbir's breathing slow down a bit. Deebs' hands worked their way down to Cibbir's back, massaging and caressing to give him another feeling to alleviate the pain. Deebs slowly started thrusting again, and found that Cibbir was much less tight now. He gradually picked up the tempo, and Cibbir started to moan, the pain being erased by pleasure. "Deebs...give me more..."

"Well, if you insist..." Deebs whispered in his friend's ear, leaning over and thrusting all the way inside to do so. He began to make his thrusts more forceful, pulling most of the way out before slamming back in. Cibbir could feel Deebs' hips pounding against his, and Deebs' balls slapping against his ass with each thrust. The feeling intensified when Deebs switched his angle, reaching that one particular spot that drove Cibbir crazy, making him moan even more. He continued to pick up the pace, each thrust harder than the last. He began to work his hands from Cibbir's shoulders, down his back, and stopping with one hand on his waist and another gripping his rock hard erection. Deebs started to jerk Cibbir off in time with his thrusts, intensifying the pleasure even more. Cibbir was in sweet ecstasy now; he never imagined he'd enjoy a thick meaty cock sliding in and out of him so much. Stretched and filled to capacity, Cibbir could feel himself nearing his climax once more. Each thrust and stroke brought him closer, increasing the pressure mounting inside him.

"Deebs!" He shouted. "I'm gonna..." At last he tightened up, shooting several jets of cum onto the rocks in front of him. Breathing heavily, his body quivered from his release. Deebs, however, didn't stop, Cibbir's tight hole feeling even better around his dick. He kept going until the pressure made him slow his pace, and with a moan he came inside Cibbir, shooting warmth into his body.

"Ah...that felt good," Deebs panted. Their hearts were beating frantically, and Deebs collapsed onto the rocks, taking Cibbir down with him. They lay on top of each other, soaked in sweat and loving the warmth of each other's bodies. Deebs rolled off of Cibbir and gazed up at the star-filled sky. "Wow, when did it get so dark?" He glanced at Cibbir, who seemed to be lost in the stars himself. "Hey Cibbir." Deebs nudged him with his elbow. "Do you still hate me?"

"Of course not...I don't think ever really could."

"So, you're gonna stay here?"

"Yeah, I'm staying."

"Great!" A smile lit up Deebs' face. "I'd miss you a lot if you did." He reached an arm around Cibbir and pulled him close into a kiss. They spent the night there, sleeping naked under the stars, and Cibbir finally felt at home.

Happy birthday Cibbir! ;p
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Old 08-06-2014, 04:17 PM   #2
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I thought Cibbir couldn't keep his liquor worth shit. That's why he always stumbles into Skype whilst drunk.
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Old 08-06-2014, 05:30 PM   #3
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head head bitch
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Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
I thought Cibbir couldn't keep his liquor worth shit. That's why he always stumbles into Skype whilst drunk.
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Old 08-07-2014, 02:18 AM   #4
Dominator of Bike Levels
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The Kim Il Sung of ASB.
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Old 08-07-2014, 03:03 AM   #5
Pokemon Trainer
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I request a threesome ship of Muyotwo, ABL and myself.
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Old 08-07-2014, 12:54 PM   #6
You sayin' I like dudes?
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Send a message via Skype™ to Deebs
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Old 08-07-2014, 10:43 PM   #7
Noted homosexual
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I am not sure how to respond to this. Apollo, you write porn now. That's what you do.

The Whistling Sound of Impending Doom.

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Old 08-08-2014, 07:51 AM   #8
Problematic Fave
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Yeah, but you read it.
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Old 07-03-2016, 11:37 AM   #9
The Scientist
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...What the actual fuck did I just read?
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Old 07-03-2016, 02:23 PM   #10
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and... it's back


D- Ref on PASBL
(PASBL squad!)
Let's go WILD
I will battle for cheap

lol who knows
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Old 06-25-2020, 07:43 PM   #11
seems theres a case aclaw
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relevant once more

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Old 06-25-2020, 08:09 PM   #12
Done With Your Shit
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I regret nothing
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