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Old 03-02-2018, 07:53 PM   #426
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TIME FOR BECCA, THE ULTIMATE BACHELOR COASTER

SHE PRETTY MUCH SHOULD NOT HAVE ACTUALLY MADE IT THIS FAR BUT Ż\_(ツ)_/Ż

ARIE CALLS HIMSELF GOOFY IDK

THEY LIKE, SAIL TO A GUANO ROCK OR SOMETHING

THEY TALK ABOUT MOVING TO ARIZONA WHILE ON A CATAMARAN

GOD SO BORED
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Old 03-02-2018, 08:03 PM   #427
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SO BECCA AND ARIE GO TO A TENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKIN DESERT

IT'S CUTE BUT

THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY STAYING HERE ARE THEY?

IDK THEY HAVE A BORING CONVERSATION ABOUT THE SAME OLD SHIT SNORE

HE ALSO SAYS I LOVE YOU TO BECCA

BYE KENDALL

FANTASY SUITE RIGHT OKAY

UM

THEIR SUITE IS A LITERAL TENT

IN THE DESERT

WITHOUT RUNNING WATER

(APPARENTLY THEY HAD TO PISS IN THE SAND SO)

ANYWAY UP NEXT THE WHOLE DRAMATIC PROPOSAL SHIT IDK
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Old 03-02-2018, 08:09 PM   #428
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OK DRAMA PLEASE THANKS

SHE'S WEARING A SKIMPYASS BATHROBE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTUAL DESERT

OH OKAY GOOD HERE WE GO

JUST WANT TO POINT OUT THAT THIS GUY IS WAY HOTTER THAN ARIE

UH OH HE'S COMIN FOR BECCA

ARIE LOOKS SUPER BEWILDERED

(SHIT THO FUCK BECCA DUDE SHE'S BORING AF)
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Old 03-02-2018, 08:15 PM   #429
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THIS IS GOING TO GO WELL I THINK

AND BY WELL I MEAN REALLY HORRIBLY

LET'S WATCH

LOL THIS MAN DIDN'T REALIZE THE SHOW ENDS IN A PROPOSAL FUN

WOW HE CAME ALL THE WAY TO PERU FOR THIS GIRL

A SHAME YOU'VE WASTED YOUR MONEY DUDE

THIS CONVERSATION IS TENSE AND AWKWARD, AS YOU MIGHT EXPECT

SIDENOTE: HE DOES SEEM LIKE KIND OF A GENERIC DOUCHEBRO BUT HE'S HOT AND SEEMS KIND OF SINCERE

LMAO ARIE CALLS THE DUDE A FUCKIN NERD OKAY MAN OKAY
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Old 03-02-2018, 08:25 PM   #430
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THIS IS THE MOST DRAMATIC THING TO HAPPEN THIS ENTIRE SEASON AND IT'S KINDA BORING

I ALSO AM 99% SURE THAT THE PRODUCERS SET THIS UP BECAUSE THEY REALIZE HOW FUCKING BORING THIS WHOLE SEASON HAS BEEN

ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HE WENT TO TALK TO ARIE FIRST

AND ALSO WHO THE FUCK WOULD JUST LIKE, FLY TO PERU ON A WHIM TO TRY TO WIN BACK A GIRL THEY BROKE UP WITH A YEAR AGO

BECCA IS LIKE "WTF DUDE WHY ARE YOU HERE PLEASE LEAVE"

THIS IS AWKWARD AS FUCK

I'M LOVIN IT

IDK IN SUMMARY THIS GUY IS DELUSIONAL, BECCA IS ANGRY AND EMBARRASSED, THIS LOOKS BAD FOR EVERYONE

SHE TELLS HIM OFF AND THEY APPARENTLY HAVE BEEN PRETTY DISTANT FOREVER BUT THIS GUY IS DUMB AF SO HE FLEW TO FUCKIN PERU ON A WHIM

HE JUST KINDA LEAVES AND POUTS SO OKAY

WHAT A FUCKIN IDIOT

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Old 03-02-2018, 08:39 PM   #431
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BECCA TALKS TO ARIE, IS SHOCKED, CONFUSED, DISTRESSED

NO REAL CONCLUSIONS ARE REACHED

BECCA IS SAFE THOUGH SO LIKE, THIS IS ALL FOR NAUGHT REALLY

SKIPPING INTERVIEW, ROSE CEREMONY TIME

Spoiler: show
ER

HE PULLS KENDALL ASIDE

BECCA SAYS "THIS IS AN ONGOING THEME"

LAUREN SAYS "I'M GONNA THROW UP"

LMAO

ANYWAY YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING

IN A TWIST THAT SURPRISES LITERALLY NO ONE, BECCA AND THE LAST LAUREN STANDING MOVE ON


WELL ANYWAY WE HAVE TWO WOMEN LEFT

WILL IT BE BECCA, THE MASTER OF MINUTE MOMENTUM

OR WILL THE LAST LAUREN STANDING BECOME THE LAST WOMAN STANDING?

FIND OUT, SOMETIME

IDK I HATE THE FINALES BUT WE'LL SEE
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Old 03-03-2018, 01:27 PM   #432
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PRODUCERS: WE WANT TO SEND YOU TO PERU
HOT BOY: WHAT'S THE CATCH
PRODUCERS: YOU HAVE TO DRAMATICALLY SAY HI TO YOUR EX
HOT BOY: OK DEAL
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Old 03-12-2018, 05:55 PM   #433
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WELL I HAVE PUT THIS OFF FOR LONG ENOUGH

IT IS TIME FOR US TO PUT AN END TO THIS DISGRACEFUL MESS OF A SEASON

I HAVE ALREADY BEEN SPOILED FOR THE ENDING (AND IT'S A DOOZY) BUT I WON'T SPOIL THE FEW OF YOU WHO AREN'T IN THE KNOW

I'LL LIKELY BE SKIPPING A TON OF THIS SHIT BECAUSE THE FINALE HAS A TENDENCY TO DRAG MERCILESSLY

I ALSO GENERALLY DO NOT WATCH AFTER THE FINAL ROSE BUT I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT I HAVE TO MAKE AN EXCEPTION HERE SO WE WILL BE WATCHING THAT TOO

AND NOW, AS I SAY GOODBYE TO THREE AND A HALF HOURS OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK, WE START THE LAST EPISODE OF ARIE'S SEASON
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:07 PM   #434
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THEY CLAIM THAT THEY HAVE NOT EDITED THE FINAL SCENE, WHICH IS A LIE, BUT WE'LL SEE WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MEAN BY THAT

HE CLAIMS THAT BECCA IS LESS RISKY THAN LAUREN

I AM NOT SURE HOW YOU KNOW THAT CONSIDERING YOU BARELY KNOW EITHER OF THESE WOMEN BUT LIKE, OKAY

ANYWAY THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS EPISODE IS TO HAVE THE PROSPECTIVE FIANCEES MEET THE FAMILY OF THE BACHELOR

IT'S PRETTY BORING BECAUSE IT'S A LOT OF LIFE ADVICE THAT IS GENERALLY NOT RELEVANT BECAUSE HOW THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ADVICE ABOUT THIS SITUATION BUT OKAY

LAUREN IS THE FIRST TO BORE THE FAMILY

ARIE DESCRIBES LAUREN VERY GENERICALLY BECAUSE SHE IS NOT ACTUALLY AN INDIVIDUAL PERSON TO ARIE BUT RATHER JUST A STAND-IN FOR THE WOMAN WHO REJECTED ARIE FIVE YEARS AGO SO

ARIE'S FAMILY IS A LITTLE BIT MEAN LMAO

LAUREN IS INSECURE BECAUSE SHE WAS HURT BEFORE, SHE REPORTS TO ARIE SR.

THE FAMILY LIKES THEM AND THINKS SHE WINS

IDK THIS WAS ALL VERY BORING BUT ANYWAY
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:19 PM   #435
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THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE IS EERILY SIMILAR TO THE LAST ONE

MOM IS SKEPTICAL OF BECCA

BECCA SAYS SHE TRUSTS HIM

ARIE SEEMS INSECURE ABOUT BECCA BUT ALSO IS OBSESSED WITH LAUREN

FUN

BECCA CLAIMS THEY'RE VASTLY DIFFERENT WHICH IS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH SUPER BORING

BECCA LOWKEY SLAMS LAUREN BY SAYING SHE'S NOT VERY OPEN

I SEE YOU BECCA I SEE YOU

BECCA ACTS SUPER JEALOUS IN THE TALKING HEADS

BECCA IS SUPER THREATENED BY LAUREN

WHICH IS HILARIOUS SINCE LAUREN IS ABOUT AS INTERESTING AS DRYING PAINT BUT ARIE IS DUMB SO
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:30 PM   #436
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NEXT PART IS FAMILY OPINIONS WHICH I DON'T CARE ABOUT NEXT

OK FINAL DATES NOW

THESE ARE GENERALLY MEGA BORING SO APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR A LACK OF COMMENTARY

HE'S APPARENTLY DECIDED ON BECCA BUT IS HAVING A DATE WITH LAUREN TODAY UH OH DRAMAAAAAA

THEY TAKE A PRIVATE TRAIN TO MACHU PICCHU

I FEEL THE NEED TO POINT THIS OUT BECAUSE ARIE BRINGS IT UP: HE HAS KEPT THIS GIRL ON THE SHOW FOR THIS LONG BASICALLY BECAUSE OF A HUNCH

I ALSO WANT TO POINT OUT THAT ARIE KIND OF BABY TALKS TO THE WOMEN AND IT'S SUPER WEIRD

THEY RUN AWAY FROM THE CAMERAS TO MAKE OUT IN A CORNER AND ALSO SUFFER FROM ALTITUDE SICKNESS

I ALSO FEEL THE NEED TO NOTE THAT WHEN ARIE REFERENCES LITTLE THINGS HE HAS LEARNED ABOUT LAUREN IT IS NOT LIKE, HER PERSONALITY OR LIKES OR DISLIKES, BUT A SPECKLE IN HER EYE

I AM NOT CONVINCED THAT HE ACTUALLY KNOWS THIS WOMAN
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:41 PM   #437
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ARIE IS A DELUSIONAL IDIOT WHO IS ENCHANTED BY ANY WOMAN WITH EVEN A BIT OF BLONDE HAIR

ARIE FAILS TO ARTICULATE WHY HE HAS KEPT LAUREN AROUND DESPITE NOT ACTUALLY KNOWING HER

THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR REALLY BORING POTENTIAL LIVES TOGETHER

THEY'RE SUPER BORING

OH BEKAH AND SEINNE ARE BACK FOR SOME ANALYSIS

SEINNE IS FORGIVING BUT BEKAH SAYS HE SHOUDLN'T PROPOSE IF HE'S THIS CONFLICTED
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:50 PM   #438
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OH BECCA NOW I GUESS

THEY GO SHOPPING IN A SUPER TOURISTY MARKET WHICH IS KIND OF LAME IN COMPARISON TO MACHU PICCHU

THEY DO PET BABY ALPACAS THOUGH SO THAT'S NICE

BECCA LIKES ARIE'S HONESTY

THOUGH REALLY THE ONLY REASON ARIE IS HONEST IS BECAUSE HE IS TOO STUPID TO LIE
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Old 03-12-2018, 06:59 PM   #439
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BECCA IS INSECURE BECAUSE LAUREN IS THE EXACT WOMAN HE NEARLY PROPOSED TO FIVE YEARS AGO BUT (PROBABLY) MORE BORING

BECCA KEEPS HARPING ON HOW DIFFERENT THEY ARE

POINTING OUT THAT ARIE CLAIMS THAT HE KNOWS BECCA REALLY WELL NOTE THAT HE HAS NOT SAID THIS ABOUT LAUREN

OH RIGHT BECCA WAS ALSO THE ONE WHO HAD THE DAD WHOSE DEATH ANNIVERSARY WAS ON THE FIRST DAY OF FILMING HUH

SHE MADE A LITTLE SCRAPBOOK

THIS IS ACTUALLY SUPER CUTE NGL

NOT MUCH ELSE TO DO WITHOUT TV OR INTERNET FOR TEN WEEKS SO MIGHT AS WELL AMATEUR SCRAPBOOK

ARIE TRIES AND FAILS TO EXPLAIN HIS REALLY CONFUSING THOUGHT PROCESS PRIOR TO THE ENGAGEMENT THING

THEY INTERVIEW TWO FORMER BACHELORS AND I DON'T GIVE A SHIT SO NEXT
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Old 03-12-2018, 07:08 PM   #440
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STUPID TALKING HEADS/GETTING DRESSED SEQUENCE GOD THIS SHOW IS AWFUL
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Old 03-12-2018, 07:19 PM   #441
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I THINK WE'RE SKIPPING THE GLORIFIED RING COMMERCIAL WHERE HE "PICKS OUT" THE ENGAGEMENT RING THIS TIME BUT I AM SKEPTICAL

LAUREN IS WEARING AN UGLY DRESS MADE OF SILVER SEQUINS AND BEADS AND LOOKS LIKE SHE'S ABOUT TO PUKE

LAUREN DUMPS HER FEELINGS ALL OVER ARIE AND ARIE TURNS HER DOWN WOMP WOMP

THIS BASICALLY TURNS INTO A HUGE MESS AND ARIE CLAIMS TO HAVE MADE A DECISION BUT IS OBVIOUSLY NOT TOTALLY CONFIDENT

WHICH IS JUST A GREAT WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE RIGHT?

LAUREN FEELS BETRAYED

LAUREN MAKES THE OBVIOUS POINT THAT HE APPARENTLY MADE THE DECISION ON WHO TO PROPOSE TO LITERALLY 3 HOURS PRIOR WHICH IS TOTALLY A SUPER SMART WAY TO APPROACH MAJOR LIFE DECISIONS

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Old 03-12-2018, 07:27 PM   #442
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NOW FOR UH THE "BIG MOMENT"

BECCA IS BASICALLY WEARING A SPOOL OF BLACK LACE MADE INTO A DRESS IT'S KINDA WORKING FOR HER THOUGH

WELL HE PROPOSES

SO

BUT AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW THIS IS "THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL SEASON EVER" SO HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS CHILDREN

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Old 03-12-2018, 07:28 PM   #443
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LMAO THE ROSE BROKE
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Old 03-12-2018, 07:38 PM   #444
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I WISH THIS WAS OVER BUT SADLY THERE'S STILL ANOTHER 30 MINUTES

NOW FOR A MONTAGE OF HOME VIDEOS WITH BECCA

SURPRISE SURPRISE HE'S THINKING ABOUT LAUREN

BORKED

TIME TO DUMP MY FIANCEE

POOR CHRIS HARRISON THEY DRAGGED HIM AWAY FROM HIS VACATION TO DEAL WITH THIS SORRY MOTHERFUCKER'S ASS

BECCA GABS HAPPILY AT THE CAMERA AS ARIE SHOWS UP TO BREAK UP WITH HER

EVERYONE AT THE LIVE SHOW BOOS HIM AS THEY SHOULD
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Old 03-12-2018, 07:47 PM   #445
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OH WOW

THEY'RE FUCKING SADISTS

THE UNEDITED PART IS THE BREAK UP

GOD THE PRODUCERS ARE SO SHITTY

ALL THE CAMERA CREWS ARE SWARMING AROUND ARIE AND BECCA AS HE DOES IT

YOU CAN SEE THEM IN THE MIRROR BEHIND THEM

THIS SCENE IS DISPLAYED IN STEREOVISION SO THAT YOU CAN PINPOINT THE EXACT SECOND BECCA'S HEART RIPS IN HALF

BECCA IS PISSED

HE MAKES AN ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY HIS DECISION BY SAYING HE DIDN'T WANT TO BE "HALF-IN" WITH BECCA

BUT BECCA IS LIKE "WILL YOU BE HALF-IN WITH HER?" AND HE SAYS NO LMAO

ARIE JUST LIKE, KEEPS TALKING FOR SOME REASON

WOW THAT WAS MAXIMALLY SHITTY

BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET Y'ALL
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Old 03-12-2018, 07:58 PM   #446
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LMAO BECCA STRAIGHT UP LEAVES

ARIE FOLLOWS HER BUT SHE'S LIKE UM PLEASE FUCK OFF

THIS IS REALLY MOSTLY JUST UNEDITED CRYING AT THIS POINT SO

BECCA TELLS HIM TO FUCK OFF AND HE STILL JUST KIND OF WANDERS AROUND LIKE A LOST DOG

HE COMES BACK FOR HER FOR SOME REASON AND THE OTHER CAMERA WANDERS AROUND AIMLESSLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO

THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID AT THIS POINT WE'RE LITERALLY JUST WATCHING TWO PEOPLE SUFFER

ARIE KEEPS TRYING TO RESTART SOME SORT OF CONVERSATION FOR HIS OWN CLOSURE WHEN IT'S PRETTY CLEAR THAT BECCA JUST WANTS HIM TO LEAVE

GO FUCK YOURSELF ARIE JESUS
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:01 PM   #447
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HOW IS THIS NOT OVER
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:06 PM   #448
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OKAY NOW THIS IS JUST BECCA CRYING

THIS IS NOT REALLY TELEVISION ANYMORE

YET

HERE WE ARE
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:06 PM   #449
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OH MY GOD LEAVE ARIE
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:15 PM   #450
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WELL I AM MAKING AN EXCEPTION AND WATCHING AFTER THE FINAL ROSE

I HAVE NEVER WATCHED ONE OF THESE SO I AM NOT SURE WHAT TO EXPECT

LET'S TAKE THIS RIDE TOGETHER
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