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Old 01-19-2015, 12:57 PM   #1
Stealthy
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PASBL Awards Ceremony 2014 - It's Late, How Absol-lutely Onix-pected!


Here we are folks, the fourth mostly annual Anime Style Battling Organization Awards! Which is literally the only time we refer to ourselves as something that fits the acronym ASBO because British humor.

Before we get started, a quick shoutout to those of you who voted me for like every award. You're all wonderful. Yes, I even got votes for Best Pokemon/Sig combo and Best Squad. How? Because fuck you, that's how. Now let's get on to the awards.


Best Newbie 2014

Our first award for the night is that of Best Newbie. 2014 has seen a fair few people, most of whom have way too much time on their hands. Like seriously, slow the fuck down. We had a nice amount of people voted for, including some joker who voted Zelphon and Sneazey who voted for Luka (whose first battle was in 2012). Silly Sneazey. After past years of people who hop around on the activity and battle skill level taking first prize, our runaway winner this year is none other than everybody's favorite Serebii Comp Mod: Miror! Miror's been battling actively for a bit over six months now and has already hit TL3, something two of our past winners have failed to accomplish.

Kamen took a solid second place, but the far more coveted third place (won by later Gym Leaders Dave, Kairne, and Connor), is a tie between Rotomotorz and our favorite pretty pretty princess, SoS! Congrats to our future Inorganic and Bug GLs!

Full Results:
1st- Miror (45%)
2nd- KamenAeons (21%)
3rd- SoS/Rotomotorz (10% Each)



Coolest Squad 2014

Our new category of coolest squad celebrates who has the best taste in pokemon. Oddly enough, lots of people thought other people had cooler squads, which begs the question, why don't you think your squad is cool? Must be all the Jumpluffing. Speaking of which, use Jumpluff! It's totally not horrible!

As may be expected though, our clear winner here was Kairne, ASB's champion of prioritizing the pokemon you like over those that are objectively better. I mean, one of his mains is a Watchog. Whimsy, who's had great success with things like Leavanny and more recently Garbodor, took second, while we had a threeway tie for third. Apparently, "wanting literally everything and being a massive slut" constitutes as taste, because Cibbir got votes.

Full Results:
1st- Kairne (45%)
2nd- Whimsy (15%)
3rd- Connor/Sparkbeat/Rotomotorz (10% Each)

Honorable Mention: Jerichi, Kindrindra



Best Pokemon/Sig Combo 2014

There were 19 different pokemon voted for in this category, and 25 votes. Yup. Should probably reexamine this category next year as to how to make a happier medium between this extreme and the blowouts of other categories. Shoutout to Kots for nominating my Psyduck from the GM. Darkwing is pleased and looks forward to glorious death by Whimsy Suicune spontaneous betrayal dropping the watchtower on himself.

Our winner though is a tie between Kairne's Haxorus and Extroph's Fraxure, so clearly we're great at thinking up sigs for Axeface. Second place is also a tie, between Sneazey's Snorlax and Red's Serperior, the latter of which should be put in a museum for preservation and never be shown to SS, so he doesn't retroject it for being ridiculous. Although at least then Red can sig something onto it that has a less absurd amount of drawback.

Full Results:
1st- Kairne/Ex- (12% each)
2nd- Red/Sneazey- (8% each)

Honorable Mentions: Stealthy's Psyduck, Red's Cryogonal, Dave's Malamar, Apollo's Jynx, and like ten other pokemon



Time Out Villain 2014

So here I thought that Emerald Goblin, who was so toxic to our community that we had to ban him (though not before he was expressly forbidden by MUYO of all people to not battle/ref/interact with certain members of the community he had particularly bad problems with), would give Zelphon a good run for his money here. Sure, Zelphon's like the prototypical TO Villain, but man, EG was so shitty. Plus, Zelphon wanted it, and as Blaze so excellently put it "I cannot condone a world in which we actually give Zelphon what he wants."

Unfortunately you people did just that, and Zelphon wins TO Villain 2014, and will likely make a good play at 2015. I did my best to make him dislike it by making the trophy a Spiritomb. The aforementioned Emerald Goblin takes second, with his boyfriend, who suddenly popped up this summer as EG got banned, tying with him for his somewhat similar behavior displayed over the voting period. The two of them together, how romantic. Machamp-X rounds us out taking third place, earned in part for her GM TO shit talking which turned into egg on her face rather quickly. Dishonorable mentions to Kush and Sneazey because ha.

Full Results:
1st- Zelphon (40%)
2nd- EmeraldGoblin/DarthTakuya (13% each)
3rd- Machamp-X (10%)

Dishonorable Mention: Kush, Sneazey, Cloneblazer



Best Battle 2014

A lot of people apparently don't read matches they're not in, because we got a fair few less votes for this category, but we still got a sizable amount for several different matches, only one of which was about actual battle skill and the rest because they were heartwarming or funny or something else. This is what ASB prioritizes kids, not how well you can battle, but how stupidly long you can make an Aurorus mirror match last. That match also probably set the record for how long you can make Aurorus last in any match that uses the standard type chart.

The winners of the Golden Machamp, though, are the two people who had a good match with plenty of skill, Apollo and Kairne in App's Gym Scenario. Whimsy's glorious self-destruction against Tyoyo, a truly kind and sweet moment, took second, while Charm dunking EG's Togekiss in lava takes third along side Kush's hilarious curbstomping of Connor in that Prehistoric Scenario. Oh.. wait, that was the Ground Scenario? Well Kush clearly kicked his ass in that too. Seriously? Bullshit, there is no way Connor won that. Bullllshit. Whatever, I'm just gonna assume people voted for it because of Kush's song.

Full Results:
1st- App vs Kairne (35%)
2nd- Tyoyo vs Whimsy (18%)
3rd- Charminions vs EG/Connor vs Kush (12% each)

Honorable Mentions: Dave v Sneazey in the Bowl, Sneazey v Zora in the Bowl, Dave v Piggy in My Ref App



Best Reffing 2014

Once again, people don't read matches outside their own, and our preferences are once again towards the entertaining. We don't want good refs, and we don't want fast refs. We just want refs that make us laugh. Because that's what matters kids, not how good of a job you do, but how entertaining you are when you do it. Also your gif game. Your gif game is super important.

Expectedly, Kush takes home the gold with his hilariously off-color joke regarding Malaysian Airplanes and a Togekiss crashing into lava. Hypnosis. What fun. Our holy overlord Kuno takes second, with people deciding to vote for GMII instead of GMI for whatever reason. I guess people didn't appreciate the brilliance of Magic Room exploding trains. He ties with Kots, who placed with an exhibition match in which desperately wanted to kill an Arbok and then pussied out at the end. Sparkbeat's gif game and Cibbir bashing earns him a third place spot, as does my ref app, which is absolutely glorious. Then for whatever reason Dave's Legend Match got some votes, which means people are rewarding Connor. Clearly this was an accident and those votes were meant for the Trainers category. Connor doesn't do things worth praising.

Full Results:
1st- Kush (Charm vs EG) - 26%
2nd- Kuno (GMII) and Kots (MMS vs Rofl)- 16% each
3rd- Connor (Dave vs Legend), Sparkbeat (Connor vs SoS), and My Ref App - 11% each



Best ASB Moment 2014

As I predicted, this was a ridiculously well contested category with 31 votes across 19 different nominations. Speaks well that we have so many moments people feel are great. But first, let's all take a moment of silence and look at Blaze, who nominated himself getting a gym as Best Moment 2014, aka, that thing we all would've laughed hysterically at the possibility of back in 2011. Forget the Super Bowl, if you ever go back in time, bet each member of ASB a hundred bucks that Blaze will get a gym. You could get some pretty solid odds on that.

Now, onto the results, our winner is Kush's Rendition of Arabian Nights, and seeing as third place is Poigniant moments, it's pretty clear that ASB's favorite times are when its slapping around Cibbir. Piggy likes ground types. Ha. I took silver, getting votes for My Glorious Ref App That Dave Should've Approved, My Arrival, and just me in general. I'm fucking great. I'm pretty sure I've done other great things you could nominate though. But I understand that it's just so hard to choose. I am a fountain of glory and wit.

Full Results:
1st- Kush's Song (20%)
2nd- Stealthy (16%)
3rd- Poignant Moments (13%)

Honorable Mentions: EG Getting Banned, Malaysian Airplanes, When Whimsy Actually Threw Baby, Charm and Connor getting KO'd together in the GM on the same day they got promoted to LO, Flying Tyranitar, Red's Birb, Whimsy and Tyoyo tying their way to TL2



Derp Award 2014

The winner of the Tin Shuckle is, of course, Shuckle and his Inorganic Starmie. This was really a runaway winner. Turning into an ASB Meme does that. Myles Fowl II takes a fairly distant second, mainly on account of general absentmindedness, though his battle against Charm in his gym came up. Third place is a three way tie between three candidates who have committed multiple d'oh moments, or one very big one. DLV in particular had some issues with his Meowth. Connor has done things like forget Kricketune has wings, and telling his pokemon to tank a hit it could not survive. Also, "every time Cibbir posts". That wasn't even my vote! And, of course, there's the LOs, who received votes explicitly for the mistake of making Connor an LO and a Gym Leader. Man, I wonder what they were smoking when they made that call. Probably the same thing Dave was when he decided to reject my Ref App.

Full Results
1st- Shuckle (40%)
2nd- Myles (13%)
3rd- Connor/DLV/The LOs (10% each)

Honorable Mention: Cool Contest



Most Improved 2014

There were quite a few options for this category... that everybody ignored for the guy who figured out how to git gud like three months ago, though he did git rly gud. Tied for the highest vote total in the entire ceremony and one of the highest percentages overall, the Most Improved member of the ASB is Apollo! Not a huge surprise when your gym prospects go from "oh that's nice" to actually getting it while at TL3. Although Sneazey's already rushed his door and his queue is full, so good luck to him on defending it. Poor guy. BlazeVA takes a strong second place, who also recently had his gym aspirations attained, with potential league champion and last year's winner Kindrindra technically winning third, with his/her vote total just barely squeaking past the minimum to place.

Full Results:
1st- Apollo (55%)
2nd- Blaze (24%)
3rd- Kindrindra (6%)

Honorable Mention: Sparkbeat, Connor




Best Referee 2014

Oh look, another smash victory. Well surely it's Dave making a repeat... oh no. It isn't. I guess me? Nope. Kuno, for the GM? Kush, for hilarity? Okay please, please check again. Spark, Blaze, Roto, fuck I'll even give it to Myles. Anybody else but him.

...god fucking dammit. You all suck.

Connor wins. And he won by so much we don't even get a third place. Ugh.

Full Results:
1st- Connor (60%)
2nd- Dave/Sneazey/Jeri (10% each)

Honorable Mention: Sparkbeat, Kuno, Kots



Best Battler 2014

And finally, we have the Best Battler category. Concept and Kush, two of our perennial top five battlers, retired this year. Though Concept's back, kinda, and Kush really hasn't actually left yet. But aside from them, we have 10 GLs and Dave to choose from! Many of them relatively new! Not to mention Kin, who should really get that Gym App in since Dave's vacated the Dark GL spot. Yet, clearly, none of these new possibilities or departing old ones matter, because the top three for this award are all people who have already won this category in years past. Change must be very scary.

And so, Dave wins his second consecutive Golden Relicanth. Remember that time he spent a month not squadding against Blaze? Best Battler 2014. Jeri takes a nice second, while Concept, who added a whole one win to his record this year, takes third. But man, was that a nice win against Tyoyo. Sorry, I'm just still ruffled over how many people voted for Connor for a thing.

Full Results:
1st- DavetheFishGuy (38%)
2nd- Jerichi (19%)
3rd- Concept (13%)

Honorable Mention: Chaminions, Sneazey



Unsung Hero 2014


And of course, there's the Unsung Hero. First off, shoutout to all the people who essentially disqualified Sneazey from winning his coveted Golden Quilava by nominating him, and special thanks to the guy who voted "Not Sneazey", and the Yami Ron vote which made me chuckle. We had a fair few nice candidates. A bunch of LOs were nominated, including SS and Jeri, as well as long time veteran Kairne. Newcomer Miror was nominated, as well as Kots, one of our more reliable refs. I, often seen in Ref Q&A and dispensing advice in TO and generally helping despite not being much of an active participant, got a few votes. But the winner, however, is one of our most reliable helpers in Ref Q&A, a good fairly active ref when he's doing it, and somebody who's come a long way from being the Zelphon of 2011 to a resoundingly successful 2014.

Winner: BlazeVA


The Open Categories


Golden Mareep: Connor
Second Annual Welshest Lover: Connor
Most Renowned Sheep Shagger: Connor
Most Likely to be Jailed for Sheep Shagging: Connor
Nervous Sheep Award: Connor
Biggest Disappointment: Connor's name not getting changed to Piggy when he was made LO
Most Likely to Ref a Fresh Pokemon Getting Destiny Bonded: Connor
A+ Award: When Connor Posted the Reffing in the Wrong Match
This Little Piggy Went to the Market Award: Connor
Most Fond of Ground Types: Piggy
Most Fond of Three Movers: Piggy
Most Likely to Squander the Pot on a Load of Typespam: Piggy
Best Sprite Comic: Piggy Likes Gyms
ASB Butt: Cibbir
Award Most Likely to be Picked Up in Two Months: Concept
Most Likely to Disappear for Six Months: Celebii
Best Stu: Torkoal Stu
Best Stew: Torkoal Stew
Best ASB Couple: Muyo X ABL
Runner Up: Copy X Daisy
Best Androgynous Couple: Blaze X Kin
Best ASB Bear Triad: Jeri X Kairne X Dave
Worst ASB Couple: Shadowshocker X Tdos
Best Interspecies Couple: Connor X Sheep
Most Erotic Ship: Deebs
Sexiest ASBer: Deebs
Needs a New Hobby Award: Apollo
Newest Member of the Gender Confusion Club: Machamp-X
Best Way to Derail TO: Starter Discussion
Best Arena: Shipwreck Cove
Most Annoying Move to Ref: Round
Worst Battler: Dave
Best Thread: ASBO 2014
Most Corrupt Moment: Dave's A+
Most Wrong: Zelphon
Wrong Thread Award: Celebii
Best Shota: Roto
Official Ice Cream Shop of the ASB: Marble Slab Creamery
Best LO: Not Kush
"Not an LO" Award: Kush
Best Nosebird: Hana
Most Likely to Come Back as a Fake Newbie: Elsie
Done-est Tournament: Pokebowl Z
Most Missed: Haymez
Most Likely to be Offended by Receiving This Award: BlazeVA
Most Useful Assistant to the LOs: Inanimate Carbon Rod
Runner Up: Sneazey
Child Abuse Award: Whimsy, for throwing baby
Least Deserving of an Award of any Kind: Dave
Most Whimsical: Whimsy
Biggest Ash Fan: DLADV
Biggest Fan Fan: Roto
Biggest Stealthy Fan: Stealthy's Ego
Stealthy Award for Being Superior to All Others: Stealthy
Most Likely to Jerk Off to Themselves in the Mirror: Stealthy
Most Likely to be Blastoise in Disguise: Stealthy
Most Likely to be S_M in Disguise: Stealthy
Most Likely to be Zekrom in Disguise: Zelphon
Most Likely to be Stealthy: ???

----

And that's that! Congrats to everybody who won. Here's the prizes: SP Rewards.

Basing this a lot off last year, here's the distribution for 1st/2nd/3rd Place.

Quote:
Best Battler: 5/2/1
Best Ref: 5/3
Best Newbie: 5/2/1
Most Improved: 5/2/1
Best Battle- Referee: 5/2/1
Best Battle- Trainers: 5/2/1
Coolest Squad: 5/2/1
Best Sig/Pokemon Combo: 3/2
TO Villain: X
Best ASB Moment: X
Derp Award: X
ASB Unsung Hero: 10
Open Categories: X
Referee and Pokemon doesn't have a third place because I'm not handing out medals to people who got only one vote. Ties do not split the prize because there's some threeway ties and oh god the fractions. Both trainers get the full reward for the Best Battle- Trainers category.

Last year there was a 10SP Cap because Kush or Dave or both won like all the awards and oh god corruption. This year there's slightly better distribution, so there's no cap. Everybody take the SP they earned.

Wait a minute... I think we're forgetting something, but what could it be?



































Time Out Hero 2014

Standin' in the sun, with my head held high
Wouldn't make a squad, wasn't gonna try
Had one great idea, to bring you to your knees
I made a whole new name, spoofed some new IPs

I made some posts, blew you all away
Put stars in your eyes, and the very next day
You started really guessing, you were so unsure
Who this asshole was, but you knew for sure

That one Stealthy, what a hunk of a man
Didn't take long, to understand
That one Stealthy, head held so high
Didn't need a squad, had no need to try

And I kept postin'
Ain't never gonna stop
Gonna keep on rockin'
And now I've made it to the top

Cause I'm a TIME OUT HERO, what a in god your eyes
Cause I'm a TIME OUT HERO
That one Stealthy, TIME OUT HERO, such a god in your eyes
TIME OUT HERO, and I'll bring the hype tonight

Full Results:
1st- Stealthy (105%) - 5SP
2nd- Whimsy (Less than that) - 2SP
3rd- Sneazey (Even less) - 1SP


I am fucking awesome.

Last edited by Stealthy; 01-19-2015 at 03:17 PM.
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:06 PM   #2
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Nailed it.
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:08 PM   #3
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Bahaha some fart voted me as TO villain. D:
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:26 PM   #4
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Most Shameful Puns: Stealthy

Also ta for the 2 SP :$
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:37 PM   #5
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Yay. I get 6 SP and you all get my burning hatred for another year.
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:38 PM   #6
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Yay I tied with an LO and Piggy for something.
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:46 PM   #7
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Thanks for the 10 SP, you guys are the best.

Would say something saying how great of a job Stealthy did hosting but seeing these OC's, I probably don't need to.

Also congrats to everyone else who got cool stuff
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:50 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by Stealthy View Post
Best Stu: Torkoal Stu
Best Stew: Torkoal Stew
Yes \o/

Congrats everyone!
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Old 01-19-2015, 01:57 PM   #9
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Pah and you think my infinite wrong could be challenged? Fear me mortals for I am the great TO Villain and the Most Wrong!


Thank you for voting ZelphyToVillain2015!
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:08 PM   #10
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8 SP can't complain. 'Grats to all winners, no surprises that a good majority of this was mocking me but whatever.
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:15 PM   #11
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Woo 2 SP you guys rock

Clearly I must continue to make ridiculous sigs so that I can make a steady profit of 2 SP per year

In 30 years I'll finally get a legend challenge!
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:19 PM   #12
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*grumbles about second place finishes*
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:32 PM   #13
Emi
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I

what

I

I

I don't even

Picking up 12 SP. I don't even know at this point.
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Old 01-19-2015, 02:46 PM   #14
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Thanks for the 2 SP and congrats to the winners. You have, however, confirmed a rentals exhibition death in the relatively near future.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:04 PM   #15
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Most Shameful Puns: Stealthy

Also ta for the 2 SP :$
There is no shame.

Also 6 SP for me. Wonder what I'm gonna do with it.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:13 PM   #16
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Hooray, free 1 SP! Thanks Stealthy bb and those who voted for me <3
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:17 PM   #17
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At least I can console myself by knowing I beat two of the best newbies... D: Am I that gender-confusing? Oh, and for those who voted me for TO villain, I'll tell you what you can do with your hands. :p
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:20 PM   #18
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There is no shame.

Also 6 SP for me. Wonder what I'm gonna do with it.
Save up for a Legend Challenge.

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Oh, and for those who voted me for TO villain, I'll tell you what you can do with your hands. :p
Slap some sense into you?
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:21 PM   #19
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Note that you failed to beat me while counterteaming the shit out of me.
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:45 PM   #20
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Slap some sense into you?
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:47 PM   #21
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Well, I was winning until RNG screwed me over. :p And I used Floette. Besides, I wasn't talking about my match with you, it was Miror and Kamen.
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:51 PM   #22
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A pleasant surprise~ thanks for the votes!

*claims SP and runs*
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Old 01-19-2015, 03:51 PM   #23
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True Facts: Best Newbie doesn't have that much to do with how good they are as a battler, it has a lot more to do with how they are as a person and people who have potential seen in them.

Beating them is no great achievement, especially since knowing you, it probably happened before they got off the boat.
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Old 01-19-2015, 04:11 PM   #24
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Hahahaha HM for Best Battler, what are you guys smoking?

Picking up 1 SP!
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Old 01-19-2015, 04:56 PM   #25
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Well that's a stunning surprise. 1SP for me? Cooooool. The honourable mention was a cool thing, too!

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At least I can console myself by knowing I beat two of the best newbies... D: Am I that gender-confusing? Oh, and for those who voted me for TO villain, I'll tell you what you can do with your hands. :p
This sounds far more erotic than you probably intended!
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Originally Posted by Doppleganger View Post
Though, I also dislike the concept of lamenting the current day while wishing to re-experience the past. At least, my modern attitude is to try and make each new day magical even if it's not, since exclusively reminiscing about the past is too pathetic.
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