03-11-2020, 03:01 PM | #1 | |
We deny our creators.
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Reduces construction time
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NO E3 2020: PRESS F IN CHAT
WELL SHIT
Quote:
SO NEEDLESS TO SAY THE QUESTIONS OF RELEVANCY THAT HAVE DOGGED E3 FOR THE PAST COUPLE YEARS HAVE REACHED A THRESHOLD WHERE THEY CAN'T BE SWEPT UNDER THE RUG OR DISTRACTED FROM BY A TWITCH STREAMER FILMING OTHER DUDES PISSING IN THE MEN'S ROOM BUT E3 WOUND UP WITH AN UNEXPECTED TRUMP CARD THAT EVEN THEY DIDN'T KNOW THEY POSSESSED: TOTAL SYSTEMIC FAILURE ARISING FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC SYSTEM WHERE OUR KAKISTOCRATIC OVERLORDS ARE HILARIOUSLY UNEQUIPPED TO HANDLE ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF LINING THEIR OWN POCKETS AND DELIVERING KICKBACKS TO THEIR DONORS EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR COLLECTIVE SHIT OVER THE CORONAVIRUS AND THE PEOPLE NOMINALLY IN CHARGE OF THE RESPONSE ARE TRYING TO HANDLE THE OUTBREAK BY 1)ADVOCATING FOR TAX BREAKS FOR CORPORATIONS AND/OR 2)BEING RACIST TOWARDS CHINESE FOOD AND SHOCKINGLY THIS HAS NOT CONVINCED ANYONE THAT WE HAVE SOBER, STEADY LEADERSHIP AND SINCE WE ALL ARE BELATEDLY REALIZING THAT ELECTING COMPLETE AND UTTER CRETINOUS AMORAL DUMBFUCKS TO THE HIGHEST ECHELONS OF POWER AND RESPONSIBILITY MIGHT HAVE ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES OUTSIDE OF "OWNING" OUR POLITICAL OPPONENTS EVERYONE IS RUNNING AROUND LIKE CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF BECAUSE NO COHERENT UNIFIED EFFORT IS FORTHCOMING UNIVERSITIES ARE CANCELLING CLASSES COMPANIES ARE ASKING WORKERS TO WORK REMOTELY FROM HOME, AND WORKERS ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY FERAL AS THEY REALIZE THAT THEY DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY WEAR PANTS WHILE PARTICIPATING IN A CONFERENCE CALL AND THUS FALLING EVER FURTHER FROM GOD'S LIGHT PANDA EXPRESS WILL PROBABLY FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY EVEN THOUGH THEIR CHINESE FOOD IS ABOUT AS CHINESE AS I AM* BUT IN CHAOS THERE IS ALSO OPPORTUNITY, PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE A CLUSTERFUCK OF A TRADE SHOW HOPING TO USE A CRISIS AS AN EXCUSE TO COVER FOR YOUR DEEPER STRUCTURAL FAILINGS SO THIS WILL LIKELY ALLOW E3 TO DELAY ITS DAY OF RECKONING THAT IS UNTIL ALL THE VENDORS REALIZE THAT "RELEASING SHIT ON YOUTUBE" MEANS THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY A BUNCH OF MONEY TO A MIDDLEMAN AND SPEND LOTS OF MAN HOURS ON A VERTICAL SLICE WHOSE ONLY VALUE WILL BE TO STREAMERS HOPING TO HYPE UP THEIR OWN BRANDS BY COMPLAINING THAT TIFA'S TITS ARE TOO SMALL DUE TO THE PERIDIOUS SCHEMES OF THE ETERNAL SJW SO BASICALLY I WAS WRONG AND NINTENDO HAS BEEN PLAYING THE LONG GAME THIS ENTIRE TIME I FULLY EXPECT NINTENDO TO RELEASE A TRAILER OF SAKURAI LAUGHING IN OUR FACES FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT BEFORE ANNOUNCING YET ANOTHER SWORD-WIELDING FIRE EMBLEM CHARACTER AND FRANKLY WE WILL ALL DESERVE IT * Spoiler: show
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03-11-2020, 04:53 PM | #2 |
我が名は勇者王!
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I wouldn't describe Panda Express as Anglo, I'd describe it as salty.
Also I think Sony basically killed E3 by deciding to work from home. Nobody cares about Microsoft and Nintendo already has feedlots of tasteless, ravenous pigs who will slurp down anything with the Nintendo logo on it. All this fear about the coronavirus too. It's the most fun week of hallucinations any of you will have in your life! Get infected today!
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03-11-2020, 05:12 PM | #3 |
The Uncultured One
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you're acting like there's just those three presenting, but yeah this was a long time coming. Sony and Nintendo are both doing their own pre-recorded shit already, and chances are everyone else will do the same thing at about the same time, just not live. Chances are we'll still have something to shittalk at the time.
inb4 they start flogging a virtual E3 experience.
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Spoiler: show |
03-11-2020, 07:54 PM | #4 |
我が名は勇者王!
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I've been having conversations with BPK about what seems like the slow death of video games. I'm seeing things superficially as impressive as StarCraft II appear as F2P browser games from Chinese companies, and the drums in the deep are beating that the end of consoles are near, Switch sales be darned.
Well, maybe Switch sales not, because Nintendo appears to have somehow??? successfully transitioned its IP from video games to lifestyle brands. I don't know how, it seems overnight, but they're well prepared to handle the posts-console world if they just figure out how to consolidate control over multimedia like Pokemon. Microsoft really needed E3 and I think that if not for some recent success, Sony's negotiating power and perception would have forced them along. It's stupid to think that Directs are a substitute for E3, they're a supplement. Sony is actually torched right out outside of the video game department. Columbia only just had a dead-cat bounce with Jumanji and the new Spiderman series (+ Spiderverse). I think that gave them enough gumption to turn down E3 and focus on other things.
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03-13-2020, 05:24 PM | #5 |
Double Dragon
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 3,776
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F
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