08-06-2014, 01:43 PM | #1 |
Done With Your Shit
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Tales from the Magical Land of Yupien
(So yeah, the idea for this was brought up on Skype a while ago, where it was decided there needed to be a UPN yaoi fic. I took it upon myself to start writing, and I ended up with this. Make of it what you will. If anyone wants to request a pairing or write a chapter him/herself, just let me know.)
Welcome, one and all, to the magical land of Yupien, a multiverse of sorts where all of us forumgoers coexist, living in imperfect harmony. It is within this universe where our story takes place; it is here where it is described just what would happen if we were all forced into the same place. Which, naturally, contains lots of homoeroticism. Enjoy... Completed Ships List: Deebs x Cibbir Chapter 1: Poignant Moments "Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!" These were the shouts of various Trainers in the Anime Style Battling League as they cheered on the competitors in the drinking contest. The Time Out Bar held such a contest every Friday night, and the winner would get free booze for the week. No one won more than Cibbir; despite being just eighteen years old he could hold his liquor extraordinarily well. He sat at the bar, a warm beer in hand, because apparently that's how Brits drink them. Not like I would know anything about alcohol. Cibbir sure did though, as nine more glasses sat empty on the bar in front of him. He looked to his left, at his slightly older companion who had just polished off his tenth glass, also warm. "Sure you can keep going, Connor?" Dave asked, letting out a loud belch as he slammed the glass on the counter. "Shu'up, Dave, you know I can drink you under the table any day," Cibbir replied, his speech slightly slurred at this point. "I'll bet you can," the man sitting to Cibbir's right smirked. The slow southern drawl belonged to none other than Deebs, who was about to down his eighth glass. "Oh, go suck a left nut, Deebs," Cibbir snapped. He raised his glass to his mouth and gulped down the liquid until there was nothing left but a bit of foam on his ginger beard. He quickly wiped this away with his hand before setting the glass down in front of him next to the others. "Why is it always the left one?" Deebs asked. "Not getting enough love there?" He took his beer and splashed a bit of it onto Cibbir's crotch, eliciting a jump from the smaller man. Deebs chuckled and finished off the rest of his drink, casually sliding it on the counter into the other glasses he'd accumulated. One of them toppled over and crashed to the floor, shattering immediately, and Jeri scowled at Deebs from behind the bar. (A/N: I decided to make the LOs the bartenders. Seems appropriate; they keep the peace.) "Whoops, my bad, I'll go clean that up." Deebs hopped off the barstool and went to go find a broom and dustbin somewhere. "So, Poignant Lyrics, how are the battles going?" Came a voice from a table near the bar. "Poignant Lyrics?" Another voice asked. "Who are you talking to, EG?" "It's Cibbir," EG replied. "Ugh, why would you bring that up?!?" Cibbir groaned, clearly not looking forward to what was likely to come next. "Poignant Lyrics, huh?" The man sitting to Dave's left raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain what that means, Connor?" "Well Kush," EG broke in, "he used to have that as his username on Serebii." "No way," Dave laughed. "Does this mean you were like, a proper emo or something back then?" "Well, at least that's still better than Ima_Penguin," a teenage boy sitting farther from the bar, as he wasn't old enough to drink, chimed in. He had a bag of golf clubs over his shoulder, being forced into golf camp for the week. "I hope you get clobbered by a golf club, Red," Cibbir grumbled. "This mental image is hilarious," Dave continued to laugh. Raucous laughter filled the bar just as Deebs returned with a broom but no dustbin, for Deh was already in the bar. "What's going on in here?" Deebs shouted over the noise. "Apparently Connor used to be called Poignant Lyrics some time in the past," Kush explained. Deebs burst out laughing at the sound of it. "That is so emo and legendary!" He had to hold on to the counter to avoid falling over from laughing so hard. "That's it! Cibbir's out, Poignant Lyrics is in." "Well, how will we shorten that?" Kush wondered. "PL? Poignant? Poigy? Lyric?" "Poigy! Poigy it is!" Deebs cheered. "Poigy it is!" The rest of the bar echoed. "So Piggy, err, Poig..." Kush's stumbling over his words here sparked something so much more. "Ahahahaha! Piggy!" Dave, at this point, was laughing so hard his sides hurt. The rest of the bar joined in with boisterous laughter. "You're literally all terrible people," Cibbir groaned, burying his head in his hands. "And of course there's a Miss Piggy Says meme generator," Kush announced, trying to contain himself as he toyed with his phone. "Because why wouldn't there be?" "Send me the link right now!" "Oh, me too! Me too!" Anyone and everyone wanted to get in on the newfound Piggy-bashing. Cibbir, however, remained silent and kept his head down. "I guess I'll start off with this one." Kush sent his newly-created meme to everyone in the bar, and within seconds, the entire bar erupted. "Piggy likes three-movers! Oh God that's good!" "Wait wait wait I've got one," Dave declared. "How about this one?" Red added. "I've made one as well," A mysterious man named Stealthy shouted from a dimly lit corner of the bar. "No, this has gotta be the best one," Deebs bragged. And soon everyone's phones were lit with memes with phrases such as "Piggy likes Bictiwl," "Piggy likes Nuke Squads," and even "Fossils, Bitch." And then came the big hit. "Piggy likes Deebs." The room was quiet for but a second before it blew up with laughter once more. Deebs blushed a bit and laughed along, but he had a feeling a Cibbir wouldn't take this one so well. And right he was. "Man, there is a special place in Hell reserved for you people!" The entire room went silent. Cibbir got off the barstool and stood up; his face was beet red. He merely stood for a moment, then trudged out of the bar, struggling to stay balanced in his inebriated state, and slammed the door shut with a bang. The bar remained still for a few minutes, but conversation gradually returned, and the night continued as if nothing were wrong. Deebs, however, knew better... ☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡 Various trainers returned to the bar the following night, eager to discuss the day's happenings. However, there was one glaring absence: Cibbir. Everyone knew Cibbir always went to the bar on weekends, so his absence was noticed immediately. They waited, but he never came. It was getting late, and soon they realized he wasn't coming. Deebs knew he had to go talk to him. "Guys, I gotta cut out early tonight, I'll see you all tomorrow!" He announced to the crowd, with a wink added to make it seem more inconspicuous. Luckily no one really thought much of it, since the missing Cibbir was what was on their minds. Deebs walked out of the bar and set out to find his friend. His thoughts raced with questions as he ran. "Why did he take all of that so hard? Were we really being that offensive? Why was 'Piggy likes Deebs' the breaking point for him? What does that mean? Could he...actually feel that way? Do I feel the same way about him? Wait a minute..." Deebs slowed to a halt. "Where am I even going?" He realized that he had absolutely no idea where to look for Cibbir. He blocked out the barrage of questions from his mind to focus, and one place came to mind. "Of course... He'd have to be here." With his destination in mind, Deebs resumed his run, quickening his pace. Darting down the streets of downtown Yupien, in a couple minutes he stopped in front of a large building the size of a mall. In bright neon lights a huge sign read "ASB Arena Portal Hub." Deebs walked through the sliding glass doors and gazed at the vast amount of portals that lay before him. The Portal Hub contains fifteen floors of portals leading to every arena in the ASB. Deebs went to the elevator in the back of the building but found it was out of order. "Son of a bitch..." He cursed. "Who the hell broke the elevator? Guess I'll be taking the stairs..." Seven flights of stairs later, Deebs arrived at the seventh floor sweaty and gasping for breath. He searched the floor for the portal labeled "Resplendent Rapids" but couldn't seem to find it anywhere. "I swear it's on this floor..." And then he remembered. "Oh, right..." He walked to a portal, above which was a sign that read "Cibbir's Ribbir." Deebs chuckled as he remembered when he replaced the sign. "Cibbir had gotten so mad at me for that... Hmm, maybe I do abuse him a little bit." Deebs swiped his Gym Leader card into the console next to the portal. Without it, he would not have access to the arena. As this was a Gym Trainer Arena, only the Gym Trainer and his or her Gym Leader could enter outside battling hours. The console accepted Deebs' card, and the portal doors opened, the light inside swirling to life. The console flashed a green light, signaling the portal was ready for entry, and Deebs stepped inside. When he stepped outside, everything around him was different. An immense expanse of forest lay in front of him, the densely packed trees veiling everything in the forest. Deebs could hear the rushing of water from the nearby river all around him. "Well this is certainly a great place to have some alone time." He journeyed through the forest for what seemed like an hour, but eventually he reached the clearing, and saw Cibbir, sitting on the river bank, staring at his reflection in the water. "I'm not sure how well he can actually see his reflection, considering how fast the river flows." Deebs took a deep breath, and slowly walked towards Cibbir as to not alert him of his presence. He remained undetected and noticed how intently Cibbir was staring into the rushing water. Deebs finally sat down next to him, and Cibbir still didn't acknowledge his presence. "Hey, Cibbir." Deebs greeted. Cibbir jumped up, startled by the sudden intrusion of privacy. "D-Deebs! What are you doing here?" "I came here to check on you. You never miss a night at the pub with us, it's obvious something's wrong." "Gee, you think?" Cibbir spat. "Leave me alone, it's obvious that's why I came here." "Well stewing in your anger isn't going to help, is it?" Deebs turned towards Cibbir and noticed that his eyes were red. "He wasn't...crying, was he? No, he couldn't have been..." "It's better than talking to you." Cibbir turned to face Deebs; his eyes were puffy and full of scorn. Deebs felt a twinge of guilt, but also found him strangely adorable. He didn't know how to respond to this and was surprised when Cibbir broke the silence. "You know I thought I was done with this shit when I came here." "What shit?" "The harassment. Or as you call it, 'joking'. What a load of rubbish that is..." Deebs attempted to interrupt, but Cibbir would have none of it. "Back before I came here to Yupien, I was constantly the butt of endless sheep jokes. I just couldn't stand it. So I left. And now, you all have brought up a delicate subject from my past. Something I was ashamed of, something I wanted to repress and never let see the light of day. And you've made it the very center of my misery. I..." Cibbir's voice tapered off and was drowned out by the rushing of the river. "You what?" Deebs tensed up, preparing for the worst. "I was starting to feel at home here. I guess I was wrong." The words felt like a blow to Deebs' head. He started to feel light-headed and sick to his stomach. Cibbir's countenance, however, remained unforgiving. "I did like you Deebs, I really did. But you obviously don't care about me, do you?" Deebs' mind grasped hopelessly for something, anything to convince him otherwise, but words eluded him. "You...you're wrong," he managed. "Oh yeah?" Cibbir raised an eyebrow, though his eyes remained narrow. "Prove it." Deebs took a deep breath once more, and he put an arm around Cibbir. He pulled him closer so that they were just inches apart. Then he leaned in, closed his eyes, and kissed him on the lips. For the first time that night, Cibbir wasn't scowling at Deebs; his eyes were now wide open in shock. Yet, he didn't break away. Something felt...right. The kiss lasted for several seconds before they broke it off simultaneously. Cibbir's heart pounded with excitement. "I care about you, Connor." Deebs whispered breathily. "I care about you a lot. More than you know." "Did I just call him Connor and not Cibbir? Whoa..." "I...I don't know what to say..." Cibbir's mind was reeling now; he had no idea what to think of Deebs at this point. "Say you care about me too. Say you'll let me be with you. That's all I want..." "I..." Tears were brought once again to Cibbir's eyes. "I think...I think I love you, Deebs." "And I love you too, Cibbir." A smile now stretched across Deebs' face and quickly formed into a cheeky grin. "Now, why don't we go for a swim?" "But I don't have a bathing suit with me..." "Neither do I," Deebs winked. Cibbir's jaw dropped. (Warning: the following spoiler contains explicit sexual content. Do not read on if you are offended by such material. (And Kuno if you'd rather this part not be posted here don't hesitate to tell me and I'll take it down. Then again you'd probably just do it yourself because you can.)) Spoiler: show Happy birthday Cibbir! ;p
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08-06-2014, 04:17 PM | #2 |
A New and Original Person
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 949
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I thought Cibbir couldn't keep his liquor worth shit. That's why he always stumbles into Skype whilst drunk.
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08-06-2014, 05:30 PM | #3 |
head head bitch
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,490
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08-07-2014, 02:18 AM | #4 |
Dominator of Bike Levels
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,321
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The Kim Il Sung of ASB. |
08-07-2014, 03:03 AM | #5 |
Pokemon Trainer
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4
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I request a threesome ship of Muyotwo, ABL and myself.
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08-07-2014, 12:54 PM | #6 |
You sayin' I like dudes?
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*saves*
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08-08-2014, 07:51 AM | #8 |
Problematic Fave
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: VA
Posts: 3,199
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Yeah, but you read it.
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07-03-2016, 11:37 AM | #9 |
The Scientist
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,211
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...What the actual fuck did I just read?
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06-25-2020, 07:43 PM | #11 |
seems theres a case aclaw
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 1,276
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relevant once more
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06-25-2020, 08:09 PM | #12 |
Done With Your Shit
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I regret nothing
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