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Old 03-11-2020, 08:35 PM   #4151
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Yahoo Finance is hilarious.

Every time I open up the page the stock market plunge is in big red banners (to scare people), and now they're posting the most stock pictures of grizzly bears to illustrate the bear market.



Will da bears win da owl??
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Old 03-18-2020, 01:31 AM   #4152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reddit
My ex roommate...jerked off into my fresh water fishtank a couple times and it seriously screwed up the PH. Some of my fish died. We are still friends, but he isnt allowed inside my house.
Imagine how much ejaculate this guy must have jettison to change the pH of an entire fish tank.
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Old 03-19-2020, 08:13 PM   #4153
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Fish are finicky. He wouldn't have to nut much.
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Old 03-22-2020, 04:58 AM   #4154
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Old 05-13-2020, 05:45 PM   #4155
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Interesting stuff reading the Wikipedia article for Gorilla Glue:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Gorilla Glue is harmful by inhalation, and irritating to the eyes, respiratory system, and skin. It should be kept away from animals and children. If Gorilla Glue is ingested, it may cause gastrointestinal blockage, and medical attention should be sought immediately. And if it is inhaled and causes physical discomfort then users should move to an area with fresh air, if breathing difficulties continue or if it is swallowed then medical attention should be found immediately.
Then the next section...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wikipedia
In October 2017 Gorilla Glue Co. and GG Strains LLC reached a settlement in the case the glue maker brought against the Las Vegas-based developer of marijuana strains.

Under the settlement, GG Strains and its licensees of the company's strains named Gorilla Glue will have to transition away from that name, any gorilla imagery and similarities to Gorilla Glue Co. trademarks by September 19, 2018.
Why would a marijuana company name itself after Gorilla Glue? Consider the previous quoted section. The marijuana company is trying to imply that inhaling its marijuana gives a similar effect to inhaling Gorilla Glue!

I guess it's Incredibly Strong™!
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Old 05-22-2020, 04:11 PM   #4156
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Happy birthday Jeri.

You're now legal in Canada, but it's still too early to drink.
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Old 05-30-2020, 03:18 PM   #4157
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The George Floyd riots as told by The Boondocks.
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Old 06-16-2020, 04:08 AM   #4158
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Willy Wonka was filmed in Germany. However, most of the Oompa Loompas were not Germany actors, because the casting call failed to find hardly any midgets in Germany.

The reason? They had all been killed by Adolf Hitler and the Nazis 30 years earlier.
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Old 08-26-2020, 04:10 PM   #4159
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Hurricane Laura is coming to Texas. But the Governor's decree, if you are going to drown you must do so with 6 feet of separation from other storm victims.

A flood is no excuse to ignore social distancing.
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Old 09-14-2020, 12:50 AM   #4160
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Dies Irae is about the descendants of Nazis, living in Japan.

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Old 11-12-2020, 02:35 AM   #4161
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Wasn't sure if this should go in "The More You Know" or here, but perhaps it's graphic enough to sit around a fireside and chat about.

Crows eating lambs alive.

"Eww!"
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Old 11-26-2020, 05:42 PM   #4162
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Onion
Catholic Scientists calculate weight of sin as 0.67 picograms

VATICAN CITY - A conclave of scholars, historians, and high ranked clergy members on behalf of the Catholic Church have calculated the weight of mortal sin at as an astonishing 0.67 picograms.

"With this discovery, we can safely say that good deeds are a small but important component to weight loss" says Cardinal Shamburger, head of the research conclave.

No details on the scientific methodologies employed by the conclave have been released by the Catholic Church, but spokesmen at the Vatican have encouraged reporters to "have faith" that the conclave was employing best practices.

The precise calculation of a sin's weight was 0.666 picograms, but in keeping with scientific convention, the value was rounded to the nearest hundredth.
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Old 11-27-2020, 11:57 PM   #4163
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Australia banned hentai.

So in addition to the blazing sun and raging wild fires, the venomous and poisonous fauna, the drop bears, and all manner of horrible things, you now can't look at Japanese anime tiddies. Poor, poor descendants of English convicts.
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Old 11-28-2020, 12:37 AM   #4164
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>Be Australia
>Ban hentai
>Show pictures of the offending content
>Eromanga Sensei
>NGNL

Oh those aussies, what a sense of humour!
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Old 11-28-2020, 01:13 AM   #4165
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That's related to Australia reviewing Manga/LN as child exploitation material. Basically anything with underaged children doing anything remotely sexualized was up for being labeled as pedophilia.
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Old 11-28-2020, 01:34 AM   #4166
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The worst part is I think the main girl in Eromanga and NGNL aren't underaged, they're simply "petite".

Now with no more little girls to molest, Australian men turn to the Outback. In 2022 Australian courts are swamped by a sudden increase in cases of beastiality. One man was arrested while being fellated by a cane toad. The man attempted to flee from police on foot, but he quickly succumbed to paralysis from the cane toad's poison. The toad died (had it lived, it may have killed itself. Sad frogs seem to be common on the internet).
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Old 11-28-2020, 11:40 AM   #4167
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Eromanga sensei- she's literally described as a 12 year old.
NGNL - she's 11.

Don't go pedo on us Dopple.
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Old 11-28-2020, 04:33 PM   #4168
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But if you reverse the digits with 12, it's 21.

If you reverse the digits with 11...uh, I'll get back to you.
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Old 11-28-2020, 06:49 PM   #4169
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If you reversed your age's digits, you'd still be a pedophile.
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Old 12-02-2020, 10:00 AM   #4170
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"The greatest stories and characters!"

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Old 12-27-2020, 07:45 PM   #4171
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BORKED
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Old 01-01-2021, 01:08 AM   #4172
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I believe in being gentle to women. When I punch one in the face, I make sure to use my non-dominant hand.
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