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Old 12-18-2014, 02:17 AM   #1
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Xavier High School

Chapter 1: The Opening Ceremony

Located in Yukinomiya City, Fukishima Prefecture, Xavier High School is one of the premier secondary schools in all of Japan.

With over a 125 year history, the school is the only male-only Jesuit-run academy in East Asia. It is extremely competitive and highly regimented. Graduates of the school find themselves entering first-rate corporations and top universities, and there is no dropout rate to speak of. Entering this school is equivalent to being set for life.

Although there are many Japanese Jesuits, the perception is that the school is run by foreigners. Despite its glowing reputation, this perception, along with increases in juvenile delinquency over the years, has lead the local residents to be distrustful of the school's education and students.

【Monsignor】 ...and as a result of this, we took measures to win back the populace's trust.

【Monsignor】 All of our students are required to wear the traditional gakuran, but there is an article specific to our school.

【Monsignor】 That is the pellegrina which you wear upon your shoulders. It is dress typically reserved for clerical staff.

【Monsignor】 However, due to our years of dedicated service to the education of young men, as well as the history of upstanding citizens we have produced...

【Monsignor】 His Holiness the Pope has permitted us to dress our students with this distinctive clothing, for the benefit of the local residents.

【Monsignor】 The pellegrina is synonymous with piety, studiousness, and truthfulness.

【Monsignor】 By wearing this dress, our students are immediately recognized as fine, upstanding members of society.

【Monsignor】 With this symbol of distinction, it impossible to confuse our students for juvenile delinquents.



...

【Katsuyuki】 I don't think the pellegrina solves the problem.
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Old 12-18-2014, 03:08 AM   #2
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Chapter 2: Standard of Excellence



【Katsuyuki】 Sensei.

【Priest】 Speak, Katou.

【Katsuyuki】 Is is true that Xavier High School has never had a drop out?

【Priest】 Ah, that. I cannot speak for the entire history of the school, but I can say for as long as I've worked here, we have no dropout rate to speak of...

【Katsuyuki】 So does this mean I can skip class, fail tests, never do homework and yet I'd still...

【Priest】 ...however our school does have a peculiarity: we have an above-average crucifixion rate. It's been that way year after year.

...

【Katsuyuki】 Here's my homework for today.
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Old 12-18-2014, 03:26 AM   #3
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Chapter 3: Kill the Tailor

【Student】 Hey, Hokuto.

【Hokuto】 Hm? Please, call me Shinichi.

【Student】 No, we're good.

【Hokuto】 How about Shichan?

【Student】 Hell no, we're good.

【Student】 Anyway, we wanted to talk to you.

【Hokuto】 Speak up. What's troubling you?

【Student】 I mean, you're a great guy and all.

【Hokuto】 Why thank you.

【Student】 But something's been bothering us.

【Hokuto】 Out with it man, spit it out.

【Student】 I mean, you don't look like the rest of us. You're different. You stand out.



【Hokuto】 ...

【Hokuto】 Are you saying...

【Student】 Yeah.

【Hokuto】 I need to tuck in my shirt. Thank you for noticing my untidiness. I wouldn't have known otherwise.

【Student】 No, dude. Listen. You're attending the wrong school!

【Hokuto】 What?

【Student】 Your uniform! It's different from everyone else's! You've been attending the wrong school the whole time!

【Hokuto】 OH NO!

【Hokuto】 How could I have been so careless...?! So blind?! To make such a foolish mistake?

【Hokuto】 Comrades, we've been together since opening day...but it was not to be for me. I never belonged here to begin with!

【Hokuto】 I must leave at once. To my true school, and true destiny. I will hold the memory of our friendships forged through hardship in my heart forever.

【Hokuto】 Farewell!

...



【Katsuyuki】 Only the colour was wrong. He had the pellegrina and everything.
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Old 12-19-2014, 05:46 AM   #4
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Chapter 4: Bathroom Humour

【Priest】 Sometime today we will be receiving a representative from Ouka Academy.

【Priest】 She will be here to observe how Xavier administers its rules, perhaps to pick up ideas she can apply to her school to better serve the students.

【Priest】 I don't know when she'll arrive, but it will be soon.

【Student】 Huuh? Ouka Academy?



【Katsuyuki】 It's basically Xavier's counterpart on the other side of the city.

【Student】 It's an all-female academy!

【Katsuyuki】 Not anymore.

【Class】 What?!

【Katsuyuki】 It went co-ed sometime last year. There are a few boys attending, and that's probably why the representative is coming here. To better help them.



【Duke】 I'm glad Xavier doesn't have to put up with that co-ed shit.

【Katsuyuki】 Why's that?

【Duke】 Whenever there's women around, I get confused as to which bathroom to use.

【Katsuyuki】 How can you get confused by that? It's written right next to each bathroom who goes where.

【Duke】 I don't know how to read.

...



【Katsuyuki】 You don't even have to!
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Old 12-19-2014, 06:04 AM   #5
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Chapter 5: It makes Permanent!



【Katsuyuki】 Duke, if you can't read Japanese, how did you get into this school?



【Duke】 I passed the entrance exam. They even told me I qualified before I handed my test over.

【Katsuyuki】 How the hell did you pass that exam?

【Duke】 Practice.

【Katsuyuki】 Bullshit!

【Duke】 I ain't shitting you. I understood everything on that test.

【Katsuyuki】 How's that even possible? Even I struggled on that exam.



【Takeru】 You're forgetting something, Katou.

【Katsuyuki】 Hmm?

【Takeru】 Xavier's exam is tough for a different reason from every other high school entrance exam.

【Takeru】 The school's philosophy is to give Japanese students a Western-style education, with marketable skills they can use both here and internationally.

【Takeru】 So it shouldn't be surprising that the most challenging part of the test is...

【Takeru】 It's in English!

【Takeru】 To do well, you'd have to have top grades in English or be a native speaker.

【Takeru】 It's obvious Duke is lying. His grades suck, and he couldn't possibly be a-



【Both】 ...

【Duke】 ?

...

【Katsuyuki】 I'm going to go to the bathroom.
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Old 12-20-2014, 02:52 PM   #6
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Chapter 6: Paradise Lost



【Duke】 Wait, Katou. Hold up.

【Katsuyuki】 What is it Duke? I said I'm going to the bathroom.

【Duke】 I'm coming too.

【Katsuyuki】 Uhh...alright. You wanna talk about something?

【Duke】 Nah. I'm good.

【Katsuyuki】 Then why do you call out to me?

【Duke】 I don't know where the bathroom is.

【Katsuyuki】 Duke, the bathrooms are right next door to our classroom.

【Duke】 What?! Damn man, are you questioning my manhood?

【Katsuyuki】 No, not really.

【Duke】 You bastard, I'm outta here. I'll go by myself.

...

【Priest】 And that concludes our lessons for today.

【Priest】 Has anyone seen Duke?



【Katsuyuki】 ...

【Katsuyuki】 He got lost.
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Old 12-20-2014, 03:04 PM   #7
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Chapter 7: I'm Not That Cute



【Harada】 I'm Harada Harumi, the Student Council President at Ouka Academy.

【Priest】 Welcome to Xavier High School. I hope your tour of the school will prove insightful.

【Harada】 Thank you, father.

【Priest】 Katou has elected to be your guide.



【Katsuyuki】 Hello, I'm Katou Katsuyuki.

【Harada】 My! You're quite the cute one, aren't you?

【Katsuyuki】 Thank you, you are most kind.

【Harada】 Perhaps you would like to show me how cute you are down there?

...

【Katsuyuki】 You've wounded my pride, Harada-san.
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Old 12-21-2014, 01:19 AM   #8
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Chapter 8: No Homo

【Katsuyuki】 Everyone, this is Harada-san. She is a guest from Ouka Academy touring the school.

【Harada】 Harada Harumi. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintances.

【Class】 (she's pretty)

【Class】 (she looks like a real princess)



【Harada】 Katsuyuki-kun, could you tell me about the school policy on relationships?

【Katsuyuki】 They're allowed.

【Katsuyuki】 There aren't any girls in this school, but the staff is aware of a young man's urges.

【Katsuyuki】 Students are free to pursue romance so long as it doesn't interfere with the academic career.

【Harada】 That's wonderful to hear! Do you think I'll be able to witness a confession during this tour?

...



【Katsuyuki】 Obviously, I was talking about male-female relationships.
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Old 12-21-2014, 01:53 AM   #9
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Chapter 10: Breast Envy



【Duke】 Damn, I've been going in circles for hours.

【Katsuyuki】 Oh hey, we found Duke. Did you manage to take a manly dump somewhere?

【Duke】 Shut up Katou. That's no way to speak in front of a lady.



【Harada】 He's right Katou-kun. You should be more polite around women.

【Duke】 Hey baby. My name's John Duke.

【Katsuyuki】 That's no way to speak in front of a lady either.

【Harada】 The pleasure's mine Jon-san. I am Harada Harumi.

【Katsuyuki】 Actually, his last name is Duke.

【Harada】 Oh my. He's a foreigner?

【Katsuyuki】 ...you couldn't tell just by looking at him?

【Duke】 No, I am 100% Japanese.

【Harada】 Ahaha...

【Katsuyuki】 Yeah, that's 100% bullshit.



【Duke】 Enough small-talk. I've got something to ask you.

【Harada】 Yes?

【Duke】 I've heard stuff about the chicks at Ouka Academy. Every single one of them is stacked.

【Katsuyuki】 ...

【Harada】 It's not true, Duke-san.

【Harada】 We have a large and diverse student body. All of our girls come in many different shapes and sizes.

【Duke】 Damn.

【Student】 Do you compare breast sizes?



【Katsuyuki】 How long were you eavesdropping?

【Harada】 I'll answer that question if you answer one of mine.

【Student】 Shoot.

【Harada】 Yes, we do. All the time, in fact.

【Students】 Ooooooooooohhhh~!!

【Katsuyuki】 D-damn, now the whole hallway is eavesdropping...



【Harada】 Now, my question. What's the male equivalent to comparing breast size?

【Students】 ...



【Hokuto】 I'm not completely qualified to answer that, but.

【Hokuto】 I've always thought when you want to admire another guy, you look at how big he is.

【Harada】 So it's true what they say, men love to compare penis size.

【Students】 NO. NOBODY DOES THAT, EVER.

...



【Katsuyuki】 I didn't even have to say anything.
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Old 12-21-2014, 02:34 AM   #10
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Chapter 9: Hard Lines

【Harada】 Katsuyuki-kun, are you the Student Council President?

【Katsuyuki】 I'm not. We don't have a Student Council.

【Harada】 Oh my. How is it that you are my guide for this tour?

【Katsuyuki】 I volunteered for it.

【Harada】 How noble. I am curious why you volunteered.

【Katsuyuki】 Well, we live in troubled times.

【Katsuyuki】 The economy still hasn't recovered from the disaster five years ago. And people are worried about the declining birthrates.

【Katsuyuki】 Xavier High School has historically had a strong reputation of integrity. I wanted to reinforce the idea of how courteous the students can be.

【Harada】 Was that the only reason?

【Katsuyuki】 Yes it was. I strongly feel like...



...


【Katsuyuki】 ...it would be easy to get the wrong impression.
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Old 12-21-2014, 03:49 AM   #11
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Chapter 12: Decision Tree



【Harada】 That's very different from Ouka Academy. Isn't the lack of a Student Council inconvenient?

【Katsuyuki】 Would you believe. Nothing gets accomplished because we decide things by committee.

【Harada】 The whole school...?!

【Katsuyuki】 Right. If a decision needs to be made we end up fighting over it.

【Harada】 Like arguing the pro's and con's?

【Katsuyuki】 No, I mean, liberating another guy's teeth from their gummy prison.

【Harada】 Ahh...? How exciting!

【Katsuyuki】 It isn't really. Nobody's settled anything with fists since opening day.

【Katsuyuki】 If the priests find out about a fight, they'll call down the Wrath of God, and his holy fury obliterates the asses of the guys involved.

【Harada】 W-wrath of God?

【Katsuyuki】 I obtained permission ahead of time to show you.



【Harada】 I...I'm getting a little moist just thinking about it.



【Katsuyuki】 I hope you're referring to sweat.

【Katsuyuki】 Anyway, it's a pretty big deterrent. But the students ahead of us developed a system to get around that, which we've inherited.

【Harada】 System?

【Katsuyuki】 Anyone who has known the fury of battle can tell you the outcome of a fight isn't just about brute strength.

【Katsuyuki】 There's mental strength! The ability to keep your cool under pressure even as the blood your mother gave you cascades through your veins!

【Katsuyuki】 The winner of a fight is clearly the stronger student.

【Katsuyuki】 Therefore, his opinion is also stronger!

【Harada】 That logic...

【Katsuyuki】 So, by extension the strongest guy in the school is also the wisest, so everyone should trust in his decisions as we would his strength.

【Harada】 I see...and who is the strongest in the school?

【Katsuyuki】 According to the seniors, he graduated last year.

【Harada】 You're kidding!

【Katsuyuki】 Nope. And since everyone's afraid to fight everyone else, we don't really have any way of telling who is the strongest.



【Duke】 I know who the strongest guy is.

【Student】 Do you really, Duke?

【Duke】 Yeah. Since we can't fight now that we're in high school, we have to use the records of fights from middle school.

【Katsuyuki】 Nobody keeps records about things like that.

【Duke】 Like hell they don't. It's obvious.

【Duke】 The biggest badass has the most badass nickname.

【Students】 Ooooooooooohhhh~!!

【Student A】 So, who actually has a nickname?

【Student B】 I've got one.

【Student B】 When I was in middle school, I used to be bullied by guys who would pull down my pants.

【Student B】 I not only got them to stop, I got them to do whatever I said.

【Katsuyuki】 How'd you do that?

【Student B】 I stopped wearing underwear.

【Students】 ...

【Student B】 If anyone gave me shit, I just dropped my trousers. They'd scream and run away.

【Student B】 And so I got the badass nickname, "Commando from Class 3-A".

【Student A】 Why "Commando"?

【Katsuyuki】 I'm pretty sure that's "nopan" in English.

【Student C】 That is a pretty badass nickname.

【Student C】 But damn, if it isn't an embarrassing way to get a badass nickname.
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Old 12-21-2014, 05:23 AM   #12
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【Student A】 How about you, Duke? You brought this up. I bet you had a pretty badass nickname growing up.



【Duke】 You're damn right I do. They called me "foreigner".

【Student A】 That's not a nickname, that's what you are!

【Duke】 Shut up. They were obviously talking about my bulging biceps and rock-hard abs, rarely seen on a Japanese schoolboy. I'm a walking Greek statue.

【Student A】 Greek is right. You don't look Japanese at all!



【Katsuyuki】 I had a nickname in middle school.

【Student A】 You? Katou? Get out of here.

【Katsuyuki】 I was a pretty notorious thief. I'd dress in a mask and tuxedo, then steal priceless artifacts hidden behind top security systems.

【Katsuyuki】 I'd even write a letter to whoever I was going to rob, then send the stolen item back to them.

【Student】 Paying for postage isn't very criminal...

【Katsuyuki】 They called me "Kaitou" (phantom thief) Katsuyuki.

【Students】 ...

【Student】 Oh, I've heard of you. You were really famous!

【Student C】 Hold on. Where's your proof?

【Katsuyuki】 Huh?

【Student C】 "Kaitou" Katsuyuki is a legendary night thief who never leaves a trace. What evidence do you have that you and him are the same person?

【Katsuyuki】 Well I uh...the only reason you think that way is I've stolen your sense of trust. If I return it you'll take my word for it.

【Student C】 What? Please, please give it back!

【Katsuyuki】 Sure, but just because I'm a nice guy.

【Student C】 You're absolutely right. Now I have no trouble believing you are "phantom thief" Katsuyuki. You're a legitimate badass!

【Student A】 That's all it took?!

【Student】 How about you, Hokuto? Certainly a huge guy like you got a nickname along the way to high school.



【Hokuto】 I do not have one. But I believe I know the man we all seek.

【Student】 Who?

【Hokuto】 He is...

【Hokuto】 Kasei "The Strongest Man" Kyousuke

【Student】 Oh shit!

【Student】 Wow, how could I forget The Strongest Man?

【Student】 Of course! With a nickname like that, he must be the toughest guy in school!

【Student】 We gotta find him, fast.

【Students】 (murmur)

...



【Harada】 I'm going home. This is place is too stupid.
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Old 12-28-2014, 03:20 AM   #13
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Chapter 2.5: Killer View

【Student】 Hey, Hokuto, we're going to have lunch on the roof. Want to join up?

【Hokuto】 What's so interesting about the roof?

【Student】 The endless blue sky! The crisp, cold air! A panorama of the city skyline! You haven't lived until you've visited the school roof!

【Hokuto】 Isn't the roof just stuffed with gardening tools and cement bags?

【Student】 ...

【Student】 Man, do you know anything about high school?

【Student】 Man, do you know anything about youth?

【Student】 Dude, don't mention youth. You sound like my Dad.



【Katsuyuki】 Your Dad?

【Student】 Yeah. Whenever he comes home and sees me, he gets upset and goes "MY WASTED YOUTH!".

【Katsuyuki】 Was he drunk?

【Student】 It's...hard to tell sometimes.

【Katsuyuki】 My sincere sympathies.



【Hokuto】 I believe we're not allowed to go on the roof, am I wrong?

【Student】 One of the priests said we should "show it respect".

【Student】 I don't care about them. What do they know about YOUTH?

【Student】 Some of the boys checked earlier, the way isn't barred. We just have to climb the stairs.

【Katsuyuki】 I'm a big fan of speaking into places I'm not supposed to. I'm in.

【Student】 Well, let's check it out then. Hokuto?

【Hokuto】 I could use some peace and quiet. I look forward to the view.

...

On the rooftop...





【Katsuyuki】 ...

【Hokuto】 ...

【Students】 ...

【Student】 Oh hey, mom packed my onigiri with salmon!

*munch*
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Old 04-28-2015, 12:42 AM   #14
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【Student】 So Kyousuke, have you ever thought about the future?



【Kyousuke】 I think about it every day.

【Student】 Come on, tell us.

【Kyousuke】 I think about how I'll die alone and penniless. It is a never ending source of grief for me.



【Katsuyuki】 Isn't it too early to have your mid-life crisis?

【Kyousuke】 I'm already middle aged!

【Katsuyuki】 We have our whole youth ahead of us. You should stop worrying and just enjoy life.

【Kyousuke】 He ignored it!



【Hokuto】 Besides, if it's a wife you're worried about, there are plenty of girls our age who are available. You can easily meet one.



【Kyousuke】 Girls your age?! You mean l-like 15-year olds...?!

【Hokuto】 Well, I'm 16. But yeah.

【Kyousuke】 I was interested in girls closer to my own age...

【Student】 One year isn't a big difference is it?

【Hokuto】 I can understand Kyousuke's feelings. Even if it's one year, dating someone younger than me gives me the sensation I'm dating my little sister.

【Student】 Some guys would love that!

【Kyousuke】 I'm interested in girls about 7 years younger than me.

【Class】 ...



【Hokuto】 Kyousuke-san...you...

【Katsuyuki】 Dude.

【Kyousuke】 No, you don't understand!! I mean girls who are like 27!!

【Hokuto】 27?

【Katsuyuki】 Oh, he's interested in older girls. For a moment I thought he was after elementary school girls.

【Student】 Older girls are awesome!

【Katsuyuki】 But that's an impossible dream, isn't it? Especially for you.



【Kyousuke】 Eh...? Eh??!!

【Hokuto】 I agree with Katsuyuki. A 27-year old girl is unattainable for high school students.

【Hokuto】 First of all, how would you meet someone like that? The easiest way would be to have one as a neighbour, and you would be childhood friends.

【Kyousuke】 I've never been in that scenario...

【Hokuto】 So then you'd have to meet one in a natural setting, and no matter how I think about it there's no place a college graduate and a high school student could possibly meet up.

【Hokuto】 You would also face the incredible burden of showing you are mature enough to handle her. Most women don't see younger men as particularly manly, they have to prove it. There aren't many ways to do that in this day and age.

【Kyousuke】 I guess...you're right. It's impossible for me...

【Kyousuke】 Hahaha...I was a fool to think I could ever get married...find a wife and settle down...have some kids...

【Kyousuke】 It'll just be me and my "hand" from now until eternity.

【Student】 'hand'?

【Hokuto】 What do you mean by hand?

【Katsuyuki】 I've never heard of a guy in love with his own hand. Do you mean penmanship? Your writing skill?



【Kyousuke】 What are you guys talking about...my hand. You know...

【Kyousuke】 When you get excited...you reach down and grab that place.

【Class】 ?!?

【Hokuto】 Could it be...?!

【Katsuyuki】 The devil's horn...?

【Class】 *commotion*

【Kyousuke】 Eh...? Eh..!?!?

【Hokuto】 Kyousuke. From time to time, the devil possesses our bodies.

【Hokuto】 His temptations are great, but we are bound to ignore is seductive calls. Have you given in to his offers?

【Kyousuke】 Well...well I...

【Katsuyuki】 ...

【Kyousuke】 Kyousuke, I advise you go to the confessional. You may have sinned greatly. You have to purge yourself of this guilt.

【Kyousuke】 Oh...okay.

【Katsuyuki】 May God have mercy on your soul.

...

【Kyousuke】 Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

【Priest】 Be at ease my son. We all sin, but it is through the grace of God that we may find forgiveness. Tell me, how have you sinned?

【Kyousuke】 According to my classmates, I have jiggled my 'devil's horn' one too many times...

【Priest】 ...!

【Priest】 Tell me child...how often have you touched the devil's horn?

【Kyousuke】 As long as I could remember. N-nobody ever told me it was i-illegal...

【Priest】 ...

【Priest】 Kyousuke. I will not sleep tonight, but remain steadfast in prayer to the Lord. I pray that he hears my pleas for forgiveness and spares your soul from damnation.

【Kyousuke】 D-damnation...no.

【Kyousuke】 A-all I wanted was a wife...if I had one from the start, I would never have fallen into sin like this...no.

【Kyousuke】 Noooooooooo!!

[running]

...



【Katsuyuki】 Man, I can't believe that Kyousuke was actually touching the devil's horn.

【Student】 Yeah, when horns sprout from my head, I try to ignore them or fall asleep. They're gone by the next morning.

【Student】 One I woke up and tried to put my shoes on, but I couldn't. My feet turned into hooves.

【Student】 Kyousuke should have just jerked off if he couldn't find a girlfriend. It's too early for us to get married.

【Katsuyuki】 Well, jacking off is a sin, too.

【Student】 Not nearly as big as stroking the devil's horn!



【Hokuto】 I am blessed with a member too small for my hands, so I do not have to face such temptations.

【Katsuyuki】 I wouldn't call that a blessing.



【Duke】 I'm like Hokuto. I'm Japanese, so my weapon is too small to fire off anything.

【Katsuyuki】 That's a stereotype and you're not Japanese! In fact, your thing must be huge!!

...



【Katsuyuki】 I didn't want to think about that!
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Last edited by Doppleganger; 04-28-2015 at 12:48 AM.
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:54 PM   #15
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OMAKE CHAPTER



【Kanji】 And so Attila the Hun...poets in the 6th Century. Ara?

【Father Frank】 What is it, Kaname-kun?

【Kanji】 Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

【Kanji】 I forgot this book was written with Western writing conventions, and so is read left to right.

【Kanji】 It's quite a unique experience in this school, with the blend of Eastern and Western literature we read.

【Father Frank】 It's what we strive for, Kanji.

【Kanji】 Yes, I've always had an appreciation for the cultural differences in orientation.

【Father Frank】 I'm not sure I understand. Please elaborate.

【Kanji】 Oh well, you know. Left and right differences.

【Kanji】 In East, we drive our cars on the left side of the road. In the West, it's the right.

【Kanji】 We read our books right to left. Over there, it's left to right.



【Duke】 In the East, hearts are located in the left chest. In the West, they're on the right.



【Kyousuke】 ...

【Kyousuke】 There's no way that one is true, is it?

【Kanji】 I actually don't know.

【Katsuyuki】 Duke's just making stuff up.

【Kanji】 How can you tell? We can't prove he's wrong.

【Katsuyuki】 We can dismantle his credibility.

【Katsuyuki】 I'll handle this. If we let it get anymore out of hand, Duke's going to inflict some severe identity crisis on the student body.

【Kyousuke】 ...who exactly would suffer from such a crisis?



【Katsuyuki】 Duke.

【Katsuyuki】 Did you know that in Japan, people have brains, but in the West, they don't?

【Duke】 ...

【Duke】 Of course I know that. Every Japanese guy does.

...

【Katsuyuki】 I rest my case.
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Old 05-04-2015, 01:11 AM   #16
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【Kyousuke】 ...

【Kyousuke】 (It's regrettable, but it looks like I'll be stuck here for a while.)

【Kyousuke】 (I can't return to the construction site...I'll be fired for sure for going AWOL.)

【Kyousuke】 (But I can't let it get out that I'm not a high school student...but a balding, 44 year old virgin...)

【Kyousuke】 (They'll arrest me...or worse.)

【Kyousuke】 (This school is insane...they might even...)



【Kyousuke】 ...gulp.

【Kyousuke】 (But this could be my big chance. My reset button.)

【Kyousuke】 (My second start.)

【Kyousuke】 (I wasted my precious 'Springtime of Youth' doing ordinary things...I was too cowardly to open up.)

【Kyousuke】 (But I can change that now. I can change my misfortune and find a young girl to make my bride!)

【Kyousuke】 (Thank you, Kami-sama, for this opportunity! It's the luckiest day of my life!)

【Kyousuke】 Katou-san, where are all the women?



【Katsuyuki】 We're an all-male school.

【Kyousuke】 ...



【Kyousuke】 (This is the worst day of my life!)

【Kyousuke】 (Why was I born under a cursed star? Am I destined to be lonely until the day I die?)

【Kyousuke】 (Uuuooooooooooo...!!)



【Ougi】 Well, that isn't strictly true, Katou-kun.

【Ougi】 There is one girl at our school.

【Kyousuke】 Eh?

【Ougi】 She is deeply beautiful foreigner, and has a reputation of modesty.

【Kyousuke】 B-beautiful foreigner? M-Modest?

【Kyousuke】 I-is she seeing anyone?

【Ougi】 Nope. She's a virgin.

【Kyousuke】 V-virgin?!?!

【Ougi】 She's a very pious type. Completely devoted to God.

【Ougi】 You could even say she's the school idol.

【Kyousuke】 Oh...how could I have a chance with such a wonderful girl...

【Ougi】 Would you like me to introduce you?

【Ougi】 Don't be shy.

【Kyousuke】 (This is my chance...I must summon the courage to meet this girl...!)

【Kyousuke】 (Who knows...we could hit it off really well...fall in love...and then...)

【Kyousuke】 (And then...!)

【Kyousuke】 I'd like to meet her.

【Ougi】 She can usually be found in the tabernacle room.

...

【Ougi】 This is her.



【Kyousuke】 .............



【Ougi】 Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners.



【Katsuyuki】 I don't think she will in your case.
__________________
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