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Old 03-23-2007, 09:15 PM   #1
big bad birtha
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Talon Tales (Finished)

Well, even though this is a new message board, I will still post the Talon Tales. Umm, administrators, I have a favor, could you please recover the past nine chapters of the story? I read that it would be a big trouble, but this is the first story I have ever made, and I would like to keep it. The past nine chapters I just came up with at the moment I posted it. Also, if there is a more appropriate place to put it, please inform me.

Anyway...here's the first chapter



Chapter 1
It is a beautiful day on a school day. In the children's playground is a bunch of kids beating up something that appears to be a bear, but with a closer look, it is actually Talon. She is on the ground in the fetal position, while all of the kids are kicking her.

"Man, recess has become alot funner since Talon has joined this class." says one of the people kicking Talon.

"Yea, I always wanted to kick a bear, since it was a bear that ate mommy, and married daddy." responds another person kicking Talon.

The children kick Talon for thirty minutes more, until the bell rings to get back into class. Talon, whom is dirty from being on the ground, gets up and heads into class. School ends a little bit later.

Talon says in a deep voice, "I wish the kids would stop beating me up."

"Well, is that so? I could help you with that."

Talon is startled at the voice, "Where'd that voice come from?"

A figure appears in front of her. "I can help you with your little problem.

All you have to do is follow my instructions."

The figure becomes even clearer and a very small girl.

"Hello, I am big bad birtha, if you want the kids to stop beating you up, you must go on a journey."

Talon responds, "No thanks. I do not want to miss Golden Girls."

big bad birtha sighs, "I wish it wouldn't come to this." big bad birtha jumps up and kicks her head, but Talon was unphased, so big bad birtha pulls out a shotgun that is bigger than herself. "You WILL go on the journey."

"Okay, just don't shoot. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

big bad birtha leads her to a baking shop.

"Yay! I love cookies." Talon says.

They go into the store and big bad birtha shoves her in an oven. Everything goes black for Talon until she wakes up in a plain. After looking around for a bit, she realises that she is surrounded by viking penguins looking to attack her. They all have an axe in one hand, and a chicken leg in the other. Talon is struck in fear and screams for help. big bad birtha reveals that she was dressed as one of the penguins and injects Talon with something. Talon writhes in pain.

"What did you inject me with?" asks Talon.

"I just injected you with chocolate pudding. Its effects will be clear to you very soon." responds big bad birtha

Right after bbb speaks, Talon goes into a rage. Talon starts to destroy all of the penguins. She pulls a large chunk of land out of the ground and crushes all but one of the penguins. The last penguin is an inch away from cracking Talon's skull, but big bad birtha blows the penguin to pieces with her shot gun. A gigantic viking penguin appears from the ground.

It is five times the size of Talon, but she does not even care.She rips another chunk out of the ground, and hurls it at the penguin's head, but it cuts the chunk in half. big bad birtha shoots the penguin's arm, causing the penguin to drop its axe. Talon then grabs the axe and cuts the penguin in half. Talon drops the axe and goes black.

She wakes up by herself in a field of penguin corpses, but big bad birtha is nowhere to be found. She looks around, and notices a note on a sword that is as big as her, and she reads it.

"Take this sword with you and follow the trail of dead penguin bodies that I made. Your goal will become clear after you reach the end." Talon puts up the note.

"I don't know why I am so happy to follow her orders, but this strange little girl has definitely made me happy. It's even better than playing tea party with daddy."

She picks up the sword and skips along the trail of penguin bodies, painfully unaware of what she will soon face.
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Old 03-23-2007, 09:23 PM   #2
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 2

Talon walks down the trail on penguin corpses, and begins to wonder who did all of this. She could not even begin to imagine big bad birtha doing it, and she eventually notices that she has blood in her nails. She just discards the thought, and follows the trail.

She reaches the end of the penguin corpse trail, and notices that the environment is completely different.

"Ok, this is not right. What the **** is going on?" Talon says in anger.

The place looks like a drug trip. She is in a forest, but the colors are all messed up. The trees are blue, the ground is orange, the sky is pink, and everything is swirling around.

"Ok, calm down. That strange little girl told me to go here, so I'll follow. She might be here, and I'll make her tell me what is going on."

Talon reluctantly ventures into the forest. The colors keep changing with every step she takes, and she begins to hear strange noises. Glee is filling Talon's heart as she listens.

"These noises sound like Elmo!" she says gladly.

Talon runs toward the noises and finds that it is a hoard of tickle-me-elmo dolls fighting against some guy. She watches in horror as the dolls attack this guy. Though the numbers are huge, this guy is putting up a good fight against them. He is fighting for a bit, and notices this gigantic beast with a huge sword watches.

"Yo! If you don't notice, I am being attacked here. I need some help." The guy yells out.

"No! I will not fight my favorite toy! Talon yells.

The elmoes notice her and some begin to attack her. One of the elmoes just barely punch her, and she flies five feet back. She keeps standing despite the devestating blow. Tears fill Talon's eyes as they attack her. She is doing everything in her power to keep them from killing her. One of them catches her off guard, and hits her again with full force. She is sent flying into a tree as the elmoes follow her as fast as she was sent flying. They start to beat on her as she is on the ground.

The sadness that is in Talon is filling with pure rage. She begins to remember the kids beating her in the playground, and she rips the closest elmoe in half. Talon's eyes turn white, and she draws her weapon. Toy parts begin flying everywhere as she swings her sword in rage. All of the elmoes turn their attention off the guy and all attack her. All of them hit her at once, but it doesn't even phase her. The toys are cut in half as Talon watches.

"You shouldn't of took your eyes off of me you stupid toys!" the man says.

Talon just stares off as the toys burn before her eyes. She notices the guy with a baseball bat. Talon points her weapon at the guy, and then jumps forward at the man. He guards her blow, but it sends him flying back. During his flight, an owl that has been watching the fight catches him, and puts him down. The owl pulls out a shotgun, and shoots Talon. The shot only knocks her back, but is enough to snap her back into reality. After that, the man reluctlantly walks toward her.

"It is alright. I won't attack you. Tell me strange man, what all did I just do." asks Talon.

"First off, my name is PiccoloNamek, not strange man. Secondly, you destroyed all these rabid toys. Thank you for saving my life." says PiccoloNamek

She looks more closely at the man to see a normal-looking guy, but is colored wierd, like the forest.

"Tell me giant. What are you doing here? This forest isn't exacly a place anyone would dare go."

(Talon tells Namek everything that has happened to her)

"Oh. That sounds like a very horribly written story. I would hate to be in it. Anyway, I bet that owl with the shotgun was that strange little girl that led you here. I heard about a girl that had all these wierd abilities. I will follow you and try to see her for myself."

Talon accecpts the request, and she has a new person, that I am just putting in the story because I can't think of anything better. They walk out of the forest and blah blah blah blah....... I'll shut up now.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:26 PM   #3
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 3

After Talon defeated the Elmo dolls, and gained a new friend, they leave the forest. As they walk out of the forest Talon notices that Namek changes color and stuff just like the forest.

"You were born and raised in that forest weren't you?" asks Talon

"Yup, how'd you know?" replys PiccoloNamek

"Just a guess."

They walk through a gate and they find themselves in front of a log cabin that is made of the forest wood. Right after they go to the door, a strange guy shows on the roof of the cabin. The man has a bright blue shirt, and terribly spiked blonde hair. He also has a necklace with a plastic triangle on it.

"Hello fools. I am Ron. I have heard about a person great at dueling called PiccoloNamek, from the strange drug trip forest. I also heard that he is with someone that looks just like one of the emporer's bodyguards, so I can only assume that you are the one called PiccoloNamek." says Ron

"Yea, what of it?" asks Namek

"I challenge you to a duel!!! I won't accecpt no for an answer either! RONIOOOOOOO!!!!"

Ron pushes a button on his plastic triangle, which causes it to make some noise, and he stands there all freaked out like something is happening to him. After the triangle quits making the noise, Ron looks down.

"I am Yami Ron now. You don't stand a chance you strange color dude!" exclaims Ron in a deeper, but obviously fake voice.

PiccoloNamek and Talon just stand there with puzzled looks on their faces. Namek decides to humor him and he pulls out his baseball bat. Ron pulls out a bunch of cards. He throws one of the cards onto the ground, and stomps on it.

"I summon you my wife!" yells Ron

"Eh!? He is married to a card? This is ****ed up even to a 10 year old!" exclaims Talon

The card glows, and a young girl comes out of it. The girl is dressed like a stripper wizard. She even has big boobies =D. Ron points to Namek, and the girl shoots a bolt of lightning at Namek. He responds by hitting the bolt. Namek then jumps at Ron, and swings the bat at him, but the girl kicks him away.

"Drat! I think I'll have to resourt to my trumphcard. SUPER SEXY TRANSFORMATION!!!!!"

Namek begins to glow, like he is actually transforming, unlike someone! The smoke clears, and everyone finds that Namek transformed into......a goat! Namek jumps at the young girl with great speed, and eats her clothes. He then jumps at Ron, and eats his clothes. Both of them cover themselves and run off.

"Yay! You did it! You are great Piccolo." says Talon

"No! I just couldn't bring myself to cut those big boobies. I mean I couldn't cut a girl. That's what I meant."

Namek transforms back, and they go into the cabin to find an old lady and her husband living in the cabin. The old people thank Namek and Talon for getting that noisy guy away from their cabin, and they provide them some beds to stay the night. Morning arrives, and they leave the cabin all waving and stuff. They walk around a bit, and they find themselves infront with Ron waiting on them.

"I give cudos to you Namek. You are indeed a great duelist, however, I will not be satisfied until I beat yo.."

"Get out of my path scum!" exclaims this person walking by.

"Yea, that's right!" says one of his followers

The person is this tall guy with long white hair, and has this stereotypical evil guy look on his face. He also has two followers. One looks like the human torch. The other is the big suprise. It looks just like Talon!

"Who are you?" asks Talon

"This is the evil emporer Headmaster Kuno, and these are his followers, An Mhorg and SuiginChou. I'm not sure how he is evil, but just look at his small glaring eyes, and femine SquareEnix-like looks. You can't say he is not evil." whispers Yami Ron

"What!? Are you talking about me? I'll show you what it means to speak badly about the great Headmaster Kuno!!! Attack them SuiginChou, and An Mhorg!" exclaims Kuno

"Guys, we will need everything we have to stand a chance against these two. It is said that the emporer's bodyguards are insanely powerful. Get ready! RONIOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

SuiginChou pulls a chunk of land out of the ground and hurls it at Namek. Namek cuts the chunk in half with his handy baseball bat. Ron summons a cat with one of his cards, and the cat hurls a hairball. The hairball happens to be the monster he summoned. An Mhorg steams a bit, then a flame aura that is about a 15 foot radius, shoots out of him. The flame burns the hairball down, and scares Ron, Namek, and Talon witless.

It appears hopeless for out heroes. Will they survive the fury of Headmaster Kuno's followers? Read my next insert to find out.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:27 PM   #4
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 4

Unless you were tripping balls when you last read my story, you would know that Talon, PiccoloNamek, and Yami Ron were completely overwhelmed by An Morg's tremendous power. SuiginChou, looks at Talon and notices that they look just alike. (god she must be stupid for JUST noticing the resemblance j/k)

"Morg, you take on the guy from the forest and the anime character wannabe. I want to see what this girl can do?" says SuiginChou.

"That's fine by me. The fact that there is another one of you makes me want to kill myself." replies An Mhorg.

SuiginChou takes out another chunk out of the ground and hurls it at Talon, but she is reluctant to fight, and she just lets it hit her. Suigin jumps at Talon and tries to land a gigantic punch, but she blocks it.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You won't fight me! If you want to live, you better put up a fight!" shouts Suigin

"Umm, alright."

Talon gets ready to put up a fight against Suigin's great strength. Suigin grabs yet another chunk out of the ground and hurls it Suigin. Talon responds by doing the exact same thing. Their ground chunks clash and stuff, and Suigin goes through the falling dirt, and punches Talon, causing her to fly back.

Meanwhile
"Are you ready my rival? It looks like we will have to postpone our little duel." says Ron

"Whatever."

"Now, go my homosexual wizard dude!" yells Ron

Ron does his summoning thing, and summons umm well a homosexual wizard. PiccoloNamek gets his wierd bat that can cut ready. Namek charges at An Mhorg, but he shoots a large fireball at Namek, doing alot of damage. While An Mhorg is focused on Namek, Ron summons his big-breasted wizard girl. The two combine their powers and fire a large dark energy bolt at An Mhorg. An Mhorg almost instantly moves behind Ron, grabs him, and uses the 15 foot aura attack.

"I'm sorry, my friend. It seems that I am not good enough to take this guy. You'll have to defeat him for me." says Ron

An Mhorg charges up an attack at Ron, but it is interrupted by a bat to the skull. An Mhorg laughs at the pitiful attack, and throws Namek at Ron. An Mhorg charges up an attack again. Runic symbols appear under him, and after a few seconds, a large meteor appears over him.

"Tungsten" An Mhorg laughs sickly as he is about to attack

Right before he fires the attack, but he is interrupted by a shot in the temple. If you don't know who this is, you are retarded. Big bad birtha appears before the two. (OMG how unpredictable, I never saw that one coming)

"You, take the cosplayer and get out of here. I can take this guy on my own." says birtha

"Well. I haven't seen you in awhile. What brings a traitor like you here after disappearing for two years?" says Kuno.

"I have my reasons."

"No, I won't leave a cute little girl like you to fight this guy." says Namek

"Trust him, Namek. He is more powerful than you think. He actually was one of Kuno's bodyguards, but as Morg said, he disappeared two years ago." says Ron

"Alright, give him hell you cute little girl." replies Namek

"I'm a guy.....and I'm also 86 years old." says birtha

The ending comment from birtha really puzzles Namek, but he takes Ron and himself a long way from the battle.

"Talon, you can do better than that! I've seen you fight! You are much fiercer than this! Think of this SuiginChou person as one of those little kids, who beat you up all the time!" yells birtha

Talon remembers this, and gets right up from Suigin's devestating blow. She draws her sword, not with rage, but a stern look on her face. Suigin giggles, and draws a gigantic spear. They charge at each other and exchange blows. Each blow slightly shakes the ground, and they only get fiercer. Suigin catches Talon a bit off guard, and knocks her weapon away. Suigin swings the spear at Talon, but she grabs the spear, and punches Suigin in the face. Suigin is knocked back, and Talon follows with another blow. She takes full advantage of the situation, and lands a barrage of punches on Suigin. Talon then grabs Suigin, jumps up high in the air, throws Suigin on the ground, and lands on her.

"There, that should finish it." Talon says in relief.

Meanwhile
"You might of been the most powerful of the great emporer's bodyguards, but you are probably out of practice, and I have become more powerful than you could ever imagine." says An Mhorg

"I don't know how you could follow such a horrible emporer. He killed just because he felt like it. He takes money from people, just because his appetite for money could never be satisfied." responds birtha.

"You are just jealous because your pituitary gland sucks, and he became the girly evil emporer that you always wanted be."

"So. What of it?"

They get silent for a minute. Birtha throws his shotgun, and shoots off at AnMhorg at an insane speed. He appears before An Mhorg as if he teleported, and fires a large surge of light and dark energy. The shot does quite a bit of damage to An Mhorg, but he comes back in good form. An Mhorg flies into the sky, and shoots a barrage of fireballs at birtha. Birtha stands there with a shield, that is blocking all of the shots. An Mhorg notices that birtha is not there. An Mhorg then feels an inviting, yet eery energy behind him. He looks back to notice birtha and a huge ball of energy. Before he can respond, Birtha crushes An Mhorg with energy ball. He lands to notice Headmaster Kuno clapping.

"This is great. No-one's ever been able to defeat my bodyguards. However, a half-breed and a bodyguard look-alike will never be able to stand a chance against me." says Kuno.

The skies become black, as Kuno gets up. Kuno is surrounded by a dark aura, and everything in the area begins to rot. Kuno raises up his hand, and what little is left of the sun is completely covered by a massive ball of dark energy.

"Talon, we have to get the hell out of here. We can't even harm this guy. If it wasn't for my stupid pituitary gland, I might be able to something...." says birtha.

Talon quickly agrees and they run off. Kuno laughs loudly, and hurls the ball at them. Birtha grabs Talon, and they jump out of the way. They run out of the area, and they notice the sky changing back. After running a little more, they notice PiccoloNamek and Ron resting by a rock. They all three notice that big bad birtha is still with them, they then corner him and demand an explanation of everything going on.

Big bad birtha is ready to explain everything, but it time for me to stop.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:27 PM   #5
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 5

In the last chapter, big bad birtha and Talon narrowly escaped the emporer's god-like power. After running away, Ron, Namek, and Talon all took advantage of birtha's prescence and forced him to talk.

"Ok. Tell us what is going on. You forced me to this strange world, and you told me that you'd tell me the secret of stopping the kids from beating me up on the playground." says Talon.

"Alright, fine. I brought you here to help me destroy the emporer. As you can tell, you are a great fighter, but you are much better than this. You see, SuiginChou is your clone. You were born in this world, but SuiginChou has already matured way faster than you, and when she saw that you would grow to be more powerful than her, she was going to kill you. I took you to the other world before Suigin could do that."

"Ok, but are you really an 86 year old dude? You are just too small and cute to be either!" interrupts Namek.

"Yes, but I am not talking about myself, I am talking about Talon. Talon, I have been waiting all this time, so you could mature a bit, and help me destroy the emporer. If you can just do that, I'll answer your big question."

"Umm, what about me and Namek?" says Ron.

"Unless you are better than you showed in that last fight, I suggest you get out of Talon's way. Now, I'll give you a little time to consider whether you want to help me or not."

Talon tries to grab birtha after his words, but he disappears. Ron gets up and waves bye to Talon and Namek, and he goes his own way. Namek and Talon go their own way, and find themselves in a peanut farm. They stand there all puzzled, as they see tons of people beating each other with hockey sticks. The two notice a large house in the back of the farm, and they go there. Half-way there, there hear someone shouting from under one of the peanut plants. They walk closer as this strange man jumps out from under the ground. He is a round man, wearing a sombrero, and swirly glasses.

"Welcome strangers. The place you are in is called Fizzy Bubbles, and I am it's leader, Arnold."

After he introduces himself, a woman appears behind Arnold, and wraps Talon's neck with a whip. The woman looks like a bondage queen. She has tight leather all over her body, and as you can tell, she has a whip.

"What are you doing here SuiginChou? You have taken enough from us already! Get out!" the woman exclaims.

"Chill out Enchantress. This is not SuiginChou. I apologise for my wife's behavior. The emporer sends Suigin here to take all of our crops. You may relax here if you want. You can also beat other people with hockey sticks as well. It's all the rage!" says Arnold.

"Fine. I'll leave you be, but I still don't trust you." Enchantress says.

PiccoloNamek takes up on their invite, and picks up a hockey stick. He finds some random people fighting, and he beats the crap out of both of them. He finds another couple fighting and does the same. Namek looks around and finds this lone guy with a hockey stick. The guy has black hair, and is wearing a silver kimono. He jumps at the guy, but the guy counters the attack perfectly, causing the stick to fly out of Namek's hand. The guy proceeds to beating Namek with his own hockeystick

"You can't defeat me when it comes to beating people with hockeysticks. I am the best at Fizzy Bubbles. Hear my name and tremble, my name is Loki. I am also the son of the two oners of this place."

"Ok, fine. I bet you can't beat my baseball bat skills, though!" exclaims Namek.

Namek pulls out his baseball bat out and swings at Loki. Loki sighs and pulls his hockeystick to block, but Namek's bat cuts right through the stick. Namek kicks Loki back and points his bat at Loki.

"WTF! A bat that can cut? How!?" Loki asks.

"I am from the drug trip forest. Almost anything is possible there."

Namek and Loki stand there staring at each other like the whole bonding by staring at each other thing is happening. Their bonding session is interrupted by a loud noise. They look over to see giant beetles wearing bandannas attacking the place.

Loki picks up a black hockeystick with a blade, and attacks the beetles. Namek cuts down beetle after beetle, and Loki does the same. Talon wakes up from her nap and tears through them. Arnold and Enchantress give each other a high-five, and a large cannon comes from the roof of the house. The cannon shoots a huge peanut at the hoard of beetles, squashing a good bit of them.

As everyone fights the beetles, they fail to notice an even larger beetle right at the house. The beetle happens to be triple the size of the house, and it has a sabre in each of its six arms. It cuts the cannon out of the house, and desrtoys the house with a mighty blow from its sabre. Arnold and Enchantress pull out their own hockeysticks. The beetle just kicks Arnold and Enchantress out of the way.

Loki, Namek, and Talon eventually defeat all of the lesser beetles and focus on the larger one. Loki gets extremely pissed at the fact that they destroyed his house, so black wings appear behind him, and he flies at the beetle. The beetle slashes at Loki, causing him to fall. Talon goes to the beetle's feet and jumps up at the beetles head and punches it. The beetle is slightly knocked back, but it quickly swats Talon out of the way. Namek puts his bat away and lets out a loud scream.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SPECIAL BEAM CANNON!!!"

Namek shoots an extremely powerful beam of energy at the beetle. It hits the beetle's head, and it's head just explodes. After the attack, Namek collapses from the attack. Everyone just stands there like WTF. After the battle, all of the FBers clean up the mess the hoard made. Namek and Talon stay the night in FB, and leave the next morning, but as they are walking, they hear Loki flying toward them.

"I want to thank you for saving my parents and my home by joining you in whatever you are doing." Loki says.

"Fine by me. Even though a hockeystick blade is stupid and useless in the things we will need to do. The author is forcing me to say yes, so just don't get in our way." Talon responds.

They walk away and the same old same old walking away thing happens. Blah blah blah......
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:27 PM   #6
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 6

The little trio of Talon, PiccoloNamek, and the newly gained Loki, are just walking in some random direction. They walk for a minute. They walk some more. They walk a little longer and Talon starts to notice that Loki has a pair of large wings.

"Loki, how about you make yourself useful, and fly us somewhere? My legs are killing me." says Talon.

"I never thought of that. I think I will fly you three somewhere." responds Loki.

Loki grabs Talon and Namek's hand, and they fly in the same random direction. They fly for a minute, and they find themselves in a city. It is a very large, and prosperous city. Loki finds some FBers, and challenges them. Namek does his namek thing and goes to the red-light district. Talon giggles like all little girls do and goes shopping.

Loki beats all of the FBers up, like anyone cares, and only god knows what the heck Namek is doing, so we will pay attention to Talon, alright kids? Talon looks at all of the nice things that she could buy, but she realises that she is broke, so she just browses. She goes looks for a minute, and notices a dark alley.

Guess what? If you guess that she goes in the alley, you are inded correct. Talon goes deeper into the alley, and sees a guy beating up some people. He is a guy with a sweet leather jacket that says Doppleganger on it, but he only has a pair of underwear under the jacket. She watches in awe of the whoopin skills of Doppleganger. From out of nowhere, this large guy comes from out of nowhere, and attacks Dopple. The guy tries his hardest to hit him, but he reads all of the guy's movements and dodges. Doppleganger gets tired of playing with the guy, and does a freaking Chuck Norris roundhouse kick on the guy.

"Just another pathetic group of posers. I was hoping to get a challenge from these guys." says Doppleganger.

He notices Talon standing there, and he prepares to fight her. Doppelganger goes at Talon, and tries to punch her in the face, but she grabs his hand, and throws him at the wall. Talon walks to Doppelganger, and extends her hand at him.

"I am not looking for a fight. I was just watching your mad skills. It's fun watching little people fight." says Talon.

"Who are you? You have great whoopin' skills." says Doppleganger.

"I am Talon. I was wandering something. Why are you only wearing a pair of underwear under your jacket?" asks Talon.

"I used all of my money on this awesome jacket, and badass lessons, so I don't have the money for clothes. My sister is also addicted to crack, and she is always wanting some money. I think I'll let you meet her." responds Doppelganger.

Doppelganger leads Talon even further into the alley. After a little walk, they find that Doppelganger's house is actually a cardboard box. He pulls up the flap, and a twitching cheetah girl is in there. The girl looks up, and punches Talon on the face.

"Get out of my house zombie banjo player!!!! You will not take my cookie crisp!!" says the freaked out cheetah girl.

"This is my sister, and also my daughter. That is how badass I am. Anyway, her name is Hanatori, and as you can see, she is a crack addicted cheetah. The quickest thing ever." says Doppleganger.

Hanatori stares at Talon for a minute. She freaks out again, and disappears. Talon and Doppelganger walk out of the alley, and find themselves in the red light district. Talon looks around the place in awe, and happens to find PiccoloNamek and Loki. They also notice that Namek has Hanatori chained up.

"Dude! Thanks for saving my sister." says Doppleganger.

"Oh! This girl ran into me, so I decided to chain her up, and have a little fun with her." Namek responds.

"That is badass! I have never been able to do that! And you, your bloody hockeystick is awesome!"

Loki, Namek, and Doppleganger have the gay little bonding stare for a little while. Talon leaves the city, but Loki and Namek decide to stay. She leaves the place on a motorcycle that Doppleganger gave her. I'm not sure how Talon knows how to drive a motorcycle, but that doesn't really matter. She drives out in the usual random direction. After driving for a little while, she finds that SuiginChou is standing in the path. She decides to ram SuiginChou, but she grabs Talon, and throws her as far as she can.

"I am not going to be defeated this time! I am the only huge ten year old girl that belongs in this story!" says Suigin.

They prepare to have another bland and generic fight that this story has seemed to have an abundance of. We will find out the result of this fight in the next chapter, or whatever. If you don't know who will win, you are retarded!
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:38 PM   #7
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 7

Uh-Oh. SuiginChou just threw our hero off in the dirt. The badass motorcycle that Doppelganger gave Talon is destroyed as well. Talon looks all pissed, and shows this mean glare.

"Don't glare at me. You were going to run over me!" exclaims Suigin.

Talon does not say a word, but she walks up to Suigin and knees her in the stomach. Talon gets on one knee, and bends Suigin over on the other knee......and starts spanking the crap out of her! She spanks Suigin so hard, that she flies off Talon's knee.

"I hope you learned your lesson. You should not break mommy's expensive things. I will go now. Don't do anyting like this again." says Talon.

"I won't. Bye bye mommy!"

Talon walks away while Suigin waves at Talon. When Talon is out of sight, Suigin realises that she was going to kill Talon. Oh well, that is not important anyway. Talon walks for a minute, but she finds herself in a giant candy store. ^o^

Talon is overjoyed and starts eating some candy, but she stops after realising that she will lose her girlish figure. She doesn't even care about the fact that she went in a candystore from out of nowhere, so it is pretty evident that she is used to this world. Talon walks to the little girls room. Right before she enters the little girls room, some person jumps from out of nowhere and attacks her.

"This is the GIRLS room. Don't think that those funny pigtails are going to fool." says this angry woman.

Talon is feeling the effects of her candy feast, so she tries to force herself in the bathroom. The woman pulls out a bazooka and points it at Talon. Talon freaks out Hanatori style (check last chapter) and runs off. The woman smirks, and pulls the trigger. Instead of a rocket, or whatever comes out of bazookas, a cat shoots out of the bazooka. The cat hits Talon, and explodes.

Talon gets up, gets pissed, and punches the ground, causing the whole store to shake. While the woman is staggering, Talon grabs one of her legs, and throws into the woman's restroom. Talon picks up the dropped cat bazooka. Talon then shoots several exploding kitties into the bathroom. She continues to shoot until it is out of cats. Talon looks into the bathroom to find the woman lying on the ground unconscious, so Talon relieves herself.

The woman wakes up to find her head on Talon's lap while she is brushing her hair. The woman is like WTF, and jumps up.

"Look what you did to my ****ing store!"

"Hello Kasumi Violet. You have pretty hair."

"WTF. How did you know my name? asks Violet.

"Your nametag says your name silly."

"Oh. Well, you defeated me, so Ill forgive you for destroying my candystore that comes from out of nowhere."

Talon gets some hungry and eats some more candy. After eating some candy, SuiginChou comes in from out of nowhere, and punches Talon in the face. Suigin takes out her spear, and chucks it at Talon. Talon catches the spear, and throws it back at Suigin. Suigin laughs at Talon, and releases a dark/light aura, destroying the spear. Suigin pumps energy into the ground, totally destroying the place.

Suigin fires a bolt of energy at Talon, which explodes on Talon. Suigin prepares another bolt, but is shot by a barrage of exploding cats. Kasumi opens fire on SuiginChou, like she just pissed in Kasumi's cheerios. Kasumi then throws a teddy bear at Suigin. Suigin catches it, and starts to feel woozy. Suigin falls to the ground after holding the bear for a minute.

"No-one stands a chance against my Happytime Cholroform Bear. It is the perfect thing to give your kids if you ever want to shut your kids up." says Violet.

Suigin gets up, and tosses the bear aside. She shoots a large energy bolt at Kasumi, pretty much messing her up. Suigin averts her eyes to the barely standing Talon. Suigin smirks at Talon, but is shot by another bolt of dark/light energy. Big bad birtha jumps in front of Talon. Suigin and birtha have a little stare-off. I would put down the result, but I suddenly don't feel like it.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:39 PM   #8
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 8

Big bad birtha and SuiginChou were having a stare-down the last time.

"So, do you intend to fight me? You might of beaten An Mhorg, but I am not as frail as he is." says SuiginChou

"No. I am not going to defeat you. It is Talon that is going to do that."

Birtha walks to Talon and takes her pigtails down. As Talon's hair falls to her neck, it starts to grow, and Talon starts to shrink. A tremendous surge of engergy fills Talon's body as she shrinks to big bad birtha's size. Talon is confused, but is ready to destroy Suigin with this new power.

Suigin shows off her aura, which covers about a five foot radius. big bad birtha laughs, and tells Talon to do the same. She releases hers as well, but her power overwhelms Suigin's, causing the earth to tremble and covering the entire area they are standing in. After they show off, Suigin desperately fires energy bolts at Talon, but she is not even effected by them. Suigin rips a huge chunk of land out of the ground and hurls it at Talon. Talon just giggles and fires a massive beam of the usual dark/light energy that everyone seems to have -_-;.

The beam cuts through the pice of land, and just obliterates Suigin. Talon floats to Suigin's beaten body, and lifts Suigin off the ground with her mind. Talon throws Suigin high into the air and then charges her energy up. She forms an orb of energy, and she throws it at Suigin, just incinerating her on impact. Talon forgets the fight, and starts to look at herself. Glee fills her eyes as she finds out that she is a normal sized little girl, even though her hair goes down to her feet.

"How did taking my pigtails down make all this happen to me?" asks Talon.

"I restrained your powers within your body. Normally your powers would just be sealed, but your powers were so tremendous, that you grew way beyond your normal size......" says birtha.

"Errm.....you did not answer my question." interrupts Talon.

"And you did not let me finish. Have you ever seen ****** **** *? People became way more powerful just by changing their hair color or making it an ungodly huge size."

"So that's how I became more powerful by making my pigtails long?"

"No, I just put a seal on you that restrains your power. I just hate pigtails, so I took them down. You need to have really exaggerated and long hair, like me, so it will be the two of us vs. Kuno."

"Ok........I will just keep getting strange answers on the hair thing, so just don't explain anything more."

"Wait! I am going to tell you what the hell you are. You are actually the daughter of the greatest warrior ever, Talon 87. Talon 87 and I are brothers, but he doesn't have a sucky pituitary gland like me, so he had powers that even rivaled the emporer. A few years after you were born, Suigin assassinated Talon 87 and then tried to do the same to you, so he could pretend to be Talon 87. As you know, I rescued you and all that good stuff, so if there any blanks, everyone should read the previous chapters. I am also going to join you in your stupid adventure."

"Alright! Sounds better than those other useless fools who were with me."

Talon and her newly discovered uncle, big bad birtha go off, not realising that Violet was watching, and was like WTF. They started walking, but they decided "**** it" and start floating to their next destination. After like a minute of floating, they find themselves on a mountain with feet sticking everywhere.

"This was once the home of the one known as "The Hag on the Mountain". Her name was Hyperkurai, but she was executed for killing several of her husbands for their money. By the description, she is just like any other woman, but two distinctive features is her extreme foot fetish and her fighting skills." says big bad birtha.

They venture further into the mountain. As they were adventuring, they find themselves surrounded by nazi flamingo dudes. They all have the little patch on their face, a nazi symbol on their chest, and a crazed look in their eyes. Big bad birtha and Talon make short work of them. The feet that are sticking out of the mountain come out after the defeat of the nazis. The feet turn into fat ugly fairy dudes. They all combine to create one huge freaking fairy.

"These feet are the feet of all the husbands that Hyperkurai killed." says birtha.

The huge fairy is this dude with a white wifebeater, and a beer gut. We will call him bubba, alright kids? He pulls out a girly wand and shoots burning blood at them. They both dodge, and birtha volunteers to take him on. He instantly appears Bubba's face and fires a barrage of energy bolts at him. Bubba quickly recovers and lets out this horrible high-pitched scream. Birtha shoots a large ball of energy, and fires it into his mouth, causing his head to explode.

"Poor guy. I feel sorry for you. All of your attacks were things that Kurai put you through before she killed you. What a rotten bitch!" says Birtha.

"I won't cause people this kind of pain, will I?" responds Talon.

"No, you actually have a conscience."

The duo goes deeper and find a house, which was originally Kurai's, and birtha takes some stuff he hid in it there. He walks out to reveal that he had pictures of Talon 87 for Talon to keep, and an awesome robe, cuz her other clothes were way too big. They also leave with a huge sum of money and some food to keep them going. The awesome duo of Talon and big bad birtha leave the mountain fully prepared and they head to their next destination.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:39 PM   #9
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 9

After our heroes' little struggle, they are floating off in their stupid little random direction. They get bored after a while, but they find a puppy on the road. Talon's eyes fill with an innocent happiness as she sees the puppy. Talon starts to run at the puppy, but just as she goes to it, birtha kicks the crap out of it. Talon gets angry of course.

"That's not fair!" says Talon.

Talon shoves birtha, and runs to the puppy. When Talon gets to the puppy, she kicks the **** out of it. She playfully sticks her tongue out at birtha, and they start kicking the puppy to their next destination. On their way, they find this guy in the road. Birtha kicks the puppy into the guy, knocking him down. The guy picks up the puppy and tapes it to his back.

"Thank you for finding my puppy. My name is Video Game Master, this is my seeing eye dog. Also, how did you know he was my dog?" says Video Game Master.

"I diddn't. You were just standing there like a stupid ****, so I figured it would be funny." responds big bad birtha.

"Umm.....You can't see?" asks Talon.

"I can see, I just like to call him my seeing eye dog. He also makes a great backpack. I can always put **** in him and carry it around."

VGM waves at the duo, and as flames come out of the puppy's ass, he flies away. They feel disappointed that they have nothing to kick, but they go off. After going a little bit, birtha gets pissed off and teleports them somewhere.

Right after they are teleported, they hear this extremely loud music. They look around to find pandas playing heavy metal with banjos in a women's clothing store. Talon gets pissed off at the annoying banjo sound, so she grabs one of the bras and starts choking one of the pandas with it. The other panda is about to grab Talon, but birtha hits it in the head with a banjo. He takes Talon out of the store to find out that they are in the middle of a swamp.

"WTF is wrong with you? If you are so determined, why don't you just teleport us to the emporer?" asks Talon.

"I don't want to fight him now. I'd rather pick fights that make absolutely no sence." responds birtha.

They explore around the swamp, which happens to smell alot like beef stew. After exploring for a minute, they find other heavy metal pandas, and they are pissed. They are more hardcore than the other two. They all have spiky mohawks and piercings everywhere. Birtha reaches into the lake and pulls out a shark. He throws it at one of the pandas, but it punches the shark in the face, and the shark was like "OMG you just punched me in the face!" Talon shoots a barrage of energy bolts at the pandas, hurting most of them. Birtha throws them in the lake, and they walk off.

The lake starts to glow while they walk off. Before they know it, A Mexican chef jumps out of the swamp. Talon gives the sign that she wants to take it on. The chef readies its move, but Talon jumps at his face before it knows what is going on, and she punches him in the face. The chef flies back, but he regains his posture. He pulls out his special bean cup, and throws it at Talon. She jumps out of the way, and as she looks down, she realises that the bean cup explodes. She shoots a large energy bolt at the guy, which explodes on him.

The chef takes his apron and shirt off, and goes crazy.

"NO ME GUSTA!!!" says the enraged chef.

Satan music starts playing as butcher knives start coming out of the ground. Talon gets kinda scared, so she releases her aura, which incinerates all of the knives. She fires a large beam of energy at the chef, which knocks the chef out. Birtha looks at the apron and notices that his nametag says "Another Fan."

"I think I will teleport us somewhere again, but I might as well teleport us near the emporer." says birtha.

He teleports Talon and himself somewhere. When they start to look around, they notice that they are on top of a floating island, and a huge castle is in front of them. They decide to walk in the castle in hopes that they can destroy the emporer.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:40 PM   #10
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Chapter 10

Right after teleporting on emporer Kuno's foretress, big bad birtha and Talon walk inside in hopes that they can finally put an end to Kuno's rule. The duo makes it to the entrance to Kuno's throne, but they are stopped two people. They are both in dark armor with a Kuno's emblem of it. Very very boring to look at........

"We have been expecting you to come big bad birtha and Talon. You will not get by us." exclaims one of the guards.

"Talon, this is Damicatz and Newsbot. Even though they are not as interesting as us in appearance, they are indeed very powerful. Kuno keeps them under lock until they are absolutely necessary. Because they are hundreds of years old, they have knowledge beyond compare, resulting in very powerful magic skills." says birtha.

"Alright. I will take Newsbot, and you take Damicatz." exclaims Talon.

Birtha snickers at how bossy she is, but he agrees. Talon jumps at Newsbot at full speed, and tries to kick him in the face, but she is instantly caught on fire when she tries. Talon brushes it off, and fires a barrage of energy bolts. Newsbot just reflects them back at Talon, forcing her to dance around them. Newsbot is surrounded by runic symbols, and as he holds his hand out, a barrage of energy shoots at Talon. Fire, lightning, ice, darkness, light, are all sent at her at the same time. Talon is unable to dodge, so she puts up a barrier, but it only guards a little bit before it breaks, and she is sent flying.

Damicatz takes the initiative on big bad birtha, and makes a fire pillar form around birtha. Birtha starts chanting, and it is all blown away in a gust of wind. Birtha takes advantage of Damicatz's surprise, and jumps at his face. Birtha hits Damicatz in a barrage of slashes. Just as birtha was going to hit him with an energy bolt, Dami teleports away. A large beam of ice fires at birtha, but he jumps out of the way, and fires a barrage of energy bolts. Dami jumps through all of them, and grabs birtha's face. Before birtha is able to teleport away, he is engulfed in dark energy and thrown into the ground.

Birtha and Talon both get up from the attacks, but they are slightly damaged from the attacks. When Talon is about to go after Newsbot, a homosexual wizard stops her. She looks up and she realises that the homosexual wizard is Ron's companion, and Ron is following with his hooker wizard (with big boobies =D) and a guy known as The Muyo. The homo wizard shoots a ball of energy at Newsbot, but a barrier stops it. Before Newsbot can do anything else, The Muyo is in front of Newsbot, and he hits the barrier with the palm of his hand, causing the barrier to shatter, and knocking Newsbot back. Talon takes advantage of the situation, and she fires a massive ball of energy at Newsbot, which destroys him.

Birtha ignores the arrival of Ron and The Muyo, and chants a spell, causing him to recover. He jumps at Dami, but a pillar of ice shoots up under birtha. The pillar impales birtha's stomach. Dami snickers, but notices big bad birtha dissapear. Before he could do anything, he is surrounded by dark/light energy. Birtha jumps in the energy field, but then appears on the opposite side. Blood is on birtha's blade, and when the field clears, Dami's head is rolling on the ground. Birtha swings all of the blood off his blade and puts it away.

"The Muyo and I have come to destroy the emporer." says Ron.

"Why?" asks birtha.

"We wanted an excellent duel of course, and this is the best place to find one."

Talon, big bad birtha, Yami Ron, and The Muyo all open the doors to Kuno's throne. They all see Kuno sitting on his throne laughing. As Kuno starts to stand up, they all prepare to fight the almighty emporer.
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Old 03-23-2007, 10:48 PM   #11
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Here's the last chapter of my story. It really brings back memories. Remember when Talon was a giant? Remember when everyone thought my character was a little girl? It all brings such painful memories....well not really. I'm sure everyone thinks this story is stupid and not worth reading. To all of you who think that.....I say PLUH!!!!


Final Chapter
Talon, big bad birtha, The Muyo, and Yami Ron all prepare to fight the strongest being in the universe. Right when they prepare to fight him, a group of people come behind them.

"Do you think I would ever miss this event after putting up with with you?" says PiccoloNamek.

"All of my FB skills will be tested here. Mom and dad, lets destroy this emporer for no apparent reason." says Loki.

"Of course, my son." says Enchantress and Arnold.

"This is so ****ing badass! Killing the emporer beats killing a cat on the street in badass points big time!" says Doppleganger.

"PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!!!!!" exclaims Hanatori.

"WTF am I doing here? I was trying to go to the bathroom!" says ZoraJolteon.

"Hanatori's words of wisdom says everything for me" says ForeverFlygon.

"This is not where Muyo said he would go!" says Ash Baby Lapras.

"My candy shop is gone because of your stupid minion! You will pay for this." says Kasumi Violet.

"Emporer, my dog says bark bark." says Video Game Master.

"Es muy caliente!" says Another Fan.

The four look back at all of the people wanting to fight alongside them, so they decide to say their own last meaningless comment.

"I have no reason to fight the emporer. All I wanted to do is get away from my bitch wife...." says The Muyo.

"This will be a duel of all duels. Alright, lets go. RONIOOOOOOOOOOO!" says Yami Ron.

"Uurg.....I don't know why these idiots are thinking they can do anything, but it's their fault if the emporer destroys all of them. Anyway.......Kuno, these are your final moments. You will pay for all of the things you have done tenfold." says big bad birtha.

"Golden Girls sucks. Daddy was always drunk, so he always picked fights with me because he thought I was trying to hit on his wife. I will abandon all of these memories, and fight alongside my uncle and all of these retards who are going to die." says Talon.

Kuno gets tired of all these stupid comments and shoots a massive ball of energy at the group. Everyone except for Another Fan dodges it. It hits him, and he does the take is shirt off and get pissed thing. He throes a massive amount of bean cups at Kuno, but they don't hurt him. Kuno picks up Another Fan by the neck. Doppelganger and The Muyo both punch Kuno, they don't do anything. Kuno releases a surge of dark energy, which knocks Muyo, Doppelganger, and Another Fan back. He is shot by a barrage of cats right after that. Kasumi Violet is standing there tall with her cat bazooka. Loki, Arnold, and Enchantress synchronize their movenents, and charge at Kuno with their hockeysticks, and they all start hitting him with them. Kuno knocks all of them away, but Hanatori comes out of nowhere, and he is hit by a barrage of slashes. Video Game Master pulls a gernade out of his dog's mouth and throws it Kuno. Kuno gets tired of all the attacks so he fills the room with a massive surge of dark energy.

Talon, birtha, and Hanatori dodge the attack, Ron uses a card to make a space-time vortex to absorb the energy, and Namek hides behind Ron, while everyone else is knocked out by Kuno's attack. Talon and birtha join together and fire a barrage of energy bolts at Kuno, but he swats all of them away.

"Oh no! I am going to have to summon my ultimate monster. Go my large red dragon!" exclaims Ron.

Ron does his summoning thing and an extremely large red dragon appears. The dragon and Kuno stare each other down, until the dragon fires a beam of energy at Kuno. Kuno fires his a beam of dark energy at the dragon's energy. Kuno's beam goes through the dragon's instantly, which blows the dragon's head off. Talon and birtha combine their powers and fire a massive orb of dark/light energy at Kuno, which knocks him back, but Kuno recovers quickly. Kuno instantly appears in birtha's face, and kicks him in the face with his foot surrounded with energy. Kuno turns at Talon, and picks her up with his mind. Hanatori goes on and hits Kuno with her barrage of slashes, causing him to drop Talon. Kuno throws Hanatori against the wall with his little mind thingy. Birtha fires more energy bolts at Kuno, stinging him a little bit, but Kuno fires a beam through the barrage, which hits birtha.

Birtha gets up from the beam, but he is barely standing. Birtha chants his little spell and recovers. He looks around to see only himself, Talon, and Ron standing, with Namek playing dead. Ron walks to them and starts whispering to them.

"I have one more trick up my sleeve. I have a card that can age either of you or Kuno by thousands of years. If I age Kuno, he will die right there." whispers Ron.

"That will only make Kuno stronger. Kuno does not age, but if you use it on Talon, she will gain power that will be greater than her father, and I will gain knowledge beyond compare. Use it on us." responds birtha.

"Alright. Go my clock mage!!!" exclaims Ron.

A clock THING comes from out of nowhere, and the two are aged by thousands of years. Birtha's appearance does not change, but Talon becomes a full grown woman. Birtha can feel Talon's power just by being in her prescence, so he steps aside and lets her fight. Talon appears behind Kuno instantly, and she kicks Kuno which sends him flying. Kuno acually felt pain by Talon's attack, and he gets pissed. Kuno engulfs the room in dark energy. Talon fires a massive beam of energy at Kuno and he attempts to block it, but the beam goes right through his barrier, and hits Kuno. He is actually feeling pain by Talon's attacks and is realising that he is up against someone who is a threat. Kuno and Talon both release their auras, which appear to be equally devestating. The whole floating island starts to crumble as they show off thier tremendous power.

Talon and Kuno stay in the air as the island crumble below them. They both decide to finish this, so they charge up their energy. Even though they are up in the air, the earth starts to tremble. After a while, they fire beams of energy with everything they have. Everyone regains their composure and watches. The situation is explained to them, and they all start cheering for Talon. Kuno and Talon struggle for a while, as everyone watches.

"**** this. I'll end Kuno right here." says birtha.

Birtha chants a spell, which makes himself more powerful, and he fires a beam of energy at Kuno, which causes Kuno to drop his attack. Talon's beam goes through, and destroys him on contact. Talon goes to the ground, and she becomes a little girl again, while thousands of years of knowledge leave birtha. Everyone cheers for Talon's victory over Kuno. After a while, everyone starts to wander why they wanted Kuno destroyed in the first place. Kuno was not evil. He was actually a good emporer. They all decide to turn to big bad birtha for the answer.

"I was bored and did not have anything better to do. Anyway, hail empress Talon!" says big bad birtha.

They all forget birtha's sorry ass excuse, and start cheering for Talon again. Hanatori freaks out and runs away. Doppleganger chases after her. Everyone else gets bored and walks off. Birtha walks to Talon and starts to explain stuff to her.

"Ok. I am going to fulfill the promise I made at the beginning of this stupid story."

"I already know. I have to beat the **** out of the kids to get them to stop beating me up," responds Talon.

Talon and birtha walk to the masses and announce the arrival of a new emporer. The masses are retarded and believe the words of two little kids. Talon asks birtha to take her to her previous world for a moment so she can attend to some business for a little bit. Birtha accecpts, and Talon beats the kids at her school almost dead. She beats them so badly that they live every moment in horrible pain until they kill themselves. Talon goes back to UPN and she rules as empress for the rest of her days.

Birtha follows Talon's rule every step of the way. Talon gives birtha stupid and pointless fights every day to keep him from getting bored.....

Talon gives Kasumi Violet a new candy shop. She keeps the shop, and whenever someone gives the code, she might even provide some artillery.

Video Game Master's dog dies. That's about it for his ending.

Another Fan makes a Mexican resturaunt, and makes his bean cup famous around the world.


Well, there's the story. I hope you enjoyed it, because I enjoyed typing it. There's a moral to this story as well, and that moral is...boredom is bad, and you should always do something about it before you do something insane. Next is Ron's side of the story. Also, look forward to a little story from zine little sister. Remember, if you are looking for insanity, it is in the male genes.

Please tell me what you think of it... I won't be putting any more chapters here, unless the past nine chapters are brought to me, but I doubt that will happen......
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Old 03-24-2007, 12:07 AM   #12
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Now for my brilliant rise to power once again, right? :3

Good story, although I usually don't like being a bad guy, being super powerful is always awesome.
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Old 03-24-2007, 05:23 AM   #13
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Dude, sorry, I only just now looked at it, cause you know random stories aren't my thing.

But me? A character? Rather flattering even if I am just a mexican chef who gets hit by everything.
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Old 03-24-2007, 10:47 AM   #14
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

First off, Dami, I thank you for bringing the last nine chapters back to me. Other than a story from school, where we had to find a situation to explain a electric company, and I happened to turn it into a torture, this is the first story I have actually done. So this does mean quite a bit to me. I learned my lesson and I will save when I do Ron's and Doppelpiccoloki sides of the story.

As for my selection of characters, I used mods and members who posted alot. I used you as a Mexican chef because the idea was the shiznit and I did not know you that well. The amount of thought I put into the character depended on how well I knew them. I did like your character alot though. I mean hell, he only got pissed at Kuno's first show of power, and when he got pissed at Talon, his comment "No me gusta!" had me giggling for days.

Also, if something in this story confuses you, then ask. I will answer with little girl powers.
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Old 03-24-2007, 12:00 PM   #15
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

I just wanted to say this is everyone's favorite Pharaoh signing in once again and to say great work on the story, Birtha. I look forward to hearing my side of the story.
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Old 03-26-2007, 01:34 PM   #16
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

I finished it but..I'd have to say it..well I'm sorry BBB but it doesnt spark any interest for me... but it was a little on the humorus side. It was good but not for my interest sry.Other than the very weird characters and the pointlessness of it it was ok.For your first story. So :1 I guess.
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Old 03-28-2007, 04:10 PM   #17
SulcataIxlude
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Funny stuff, but lack of SulcataIxlude in it downgrades it's allure tremendously.
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:13 PM   #18
big bad birtha
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Re: Talon Tales (Finished)

Well, since it's Easter, I decided to do an Easter special of the Talon Tales. It's better than watching little kids run around and pick **** up, while other people are bitching about how easter lost its meaning. Well, here's my excellent easter special.


Super Sexy Easter Special

Talon is off her ass and watching little kids search for eggs in her little castle by Loki's request. Loki, of course joined her, and big bad birtha decided to tag along. Talon and birtha are just standing there all bored, but they happen to look back at Loki. He is making this wierd face while drool falls down his face. His strange behavior seems to keep their attention more than the little kids fighting over the eggs. Before they know it, they are standing in a pool of drool, so they move off somewhere else. While going somewhere else, some bearded guy in a while robe starts running in their direction. He notices them and decides to ask them a question.

"Excuse me, have you seen an old guy with some hush puppies. He also has a little kid fetish."

"I have a guy with a little kid fetish with me, but he is my servant and if you mess with him, I will have to kick your ass. I have a question for you now. Who the hell are you?" asks Talon.

"I am Je....I mean J'Wiz. That's right bitches. I'm gonna kick it down with my homies in the west SIEEEDE. I'm gonna bust a cap in that guy's ass for swipin' my hust puppies." says J'Wiz.

"Good for you. Now, we will go somewhere you are not." responds birtha.

J'Wiz makes a strange hand sign and runs off. The two just ignore him and look for something to entertain themselves. While looking, they take a peek back at the kids' little hunt. They notice this red thing popping out of the ground. One of the kids thinks it is a prize egg and he tries to pull it out of the ground. He pulls a little bit out of the ground and it happens to be an old dude's head. The kids get scared and run off. The guy comes out of the ground. It is this old guy with a Long John Silver box in one hand and a boner in the other. Talon gets tired of looking at him, so she decides to inform him of the guy who is looking for him.

"Hey, this guy named J'Wiz is looking for you." says Talon.

"Ok. My name is Sean Connery and I took his hush puppies for a good reason." says Sean Connery.

"I don't care!" responds birtha and Talon.

"Ok, since you are curious, I will tell you. I was at the Long John Silver, and I was ordering some hush puppies, and then this other guy ordered them too, but he got his before I did. My friends were like "I bet you won't get any hush puppies." and I was like "You wanna bet?". After that, I went to the white robed guy and went to get his hush puppies, but he grabbed my hand and was like "No! Those are my hush puppies bitch!". Since I was in a hurry to jack off....I mean watch little kids, I threw salt in his eyes and ran off. I will meet his challenge, since two hot little kids..........."

"YOU SCARED THEM AWAY!!!!" interrupts Loki.

As anyone can tell, Loki is pissed. Loki pulls out his hockey stick blade....I mean scythe, and jumps at Sean. Sean pulls out a knight sword and parries the attack. Loki recovers and jumps at him with increased intensity. Right before Loki gets to him, J'Wiz appears infront of Loki.

"Yo. I will take care of this bitch ass motha ****a." says J'Wiz.

Sean Connery drops the box of hush puppies and prepares to fight. This pissed J'Wiz off, so he fires a beam of holy energy at Sean. He dodges it, and starts flying in the air. J'Wiz follows him, and Loki, birtha, and Talon set up some chairs and start eating some hush puppies. J'Wiz and Sean exchange blows for a couple of minutes, until J'Wiz fires another beam of holy energy at Sean. Sean pulls his pants down and pissed magma at J'Wiz. Both of their attacks miss and destroy alot of the things in the area. Talon start to get pissed at her land getting destroyed, but Loki tries to hold her hand in a romantic moment, which pissed her off even more. Talon punches Loki and stands up.

"Birtha, lets kick their asses. You take Sean Connery and I'll take J'Wiz." says Talon.

"Nice! That's what I wanted to hear." responds birtha.

"What do I do?" asks Loki.

"Stay out of our way!" says birtha and Talon.

Sean Connery readies yet another magma beam, but a katana comes from out of nowhere and goes through his crotch. Birtha starts slowly floating up. When he gets to Sean, he signals for him to bring it on. Sean draws his knight sword, and flied at birtha. When he gets five feet away from birtha, he disappears. The katana comes out of Sean's crotch and birtha hits Connery with a barrage of slashes from behind. Sean turns around and starts blocking the blows, so birtha kicks him away. Sean recovers, but when he looks up, a large orb of energy is right in his face. Sean could not respond, and is sent to the ground. Loki walks up to his knocked out body and cuts his head off.

Talon goes right for J'Wiz and rushes to him. J'Wiz is devestated by her speed, and she fires a barrage of energy bolts at him from close range. J'Wiz floats away from Talon and pulls out some nunchucks. Talon flies right at him and kicks him in the face, causing him to fly into the ground. She follows him down, and starts punching him in the face. She notices that birtha is done with his battle, so she signals for a double team.

Talon grabs him by the neck and throws him to her right. Birtha, who is still in the air, fires a barrage of energy bolts at his flying body. Talon waits for him to stop, and follows J'Wiz. Talon goes under J'Wiz and fires a barrage of energy bolts at J'Wiz from under him. When he is right in the middle of Talon and birtha, they start charging up their energy. Loki realises what they are going to do and flies off. They both fire a powerful beam of dark/light energy at J'Wiz. The beam explodes, destroying J'Wiz and almost everything in the area. Birtha goes down to Talon and they high five each other in victory. Loki notices that the fight is over and he goes down to them.

"Errm....You destroyed more than those two did.....Why diddn't you just let them fight it out?" asks Loki.

"We were bored." responds Talon.

Loki leaves it at that. They notice that the castle is destroyed, so birtha uses one of Ron's cards and just makes a castle appear. They all celebrate their effortless victory. They all wish for more stupid and pointless fights like this.


Dang. I though that was pretty good. I guess I was just missing typing about Talon's character. Just incase you were wondering, Loki's character is there for a reason. It will be explained at the end of Doppelpiccoloki's story. Happy Easter!
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