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Old 04-04-2007, 01:42 PM   #1
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Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

The very nature of this incident is ludicrous; the idea of it actually happening is stupefying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CNN
Authorities: Fifth-graders posted lookout, had sex in class

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- Five fifth-grade students face criminal charges after authorities said four of them had sex in front of other students in an unsupervised classroom and kept a classmate posted as a lookout for teachers.

The students were arrested Tuesday at the Spearsville school in rural north Louisiana, authorities said. Two 11-year-old girls, a 12-year-old boy and a 13-year old boy were charged with obscenity, a felony. An 11-year-old boy, the alleged lookout, was charged with being an accessory.

"After 44 years of doing this work, nothing shocks me anymore," said Union Parish Sheriff Bob Buckley. "But this comes pretty close."

Authorities said the incident happened March 27 at the school, which houses students from kindergarten through 12th grade. A high school teacher normally watches the fifth-grade class at the time, but went to an assembly for older students and the class was inadvertently left unattended, Buckley said. (Watch authorities try to determine if a crime was committed )

The class, which had around 10 other students, was alone for about 15 minutes, he said.

"When no teacher showed up, the four began to have sex in the classroom with the other elementary students in the classroom with them," he said.

It took a day for authorities to find out about the incident. A student who had been in the class told a high school student about it the next day, Buckley said. The student told a teacher, and school officials notified the sheriff's office. Detectives began questioning students Thursday.

School officials did not return calls seeking comment.

The students, who were not identified because of their age, were released to their parents after their arrests, Buckley said. They will next be arraigned in juvenile court.

A message seeking comment from the district attorney was not immediately returned.

Buckley said it was unclear what penalties the children could face.
...

A hefty HAHA OH WOW at Louisiana for being so outrageously agraphobic that they would take an incident based on little more than hearsay to an extreme of arrests. Given the time-frame, as well as the overzealous effort to punish anyone involved in any manner possible, it's clear to me these people are just a tad sensitive to the unsociable and aren't afraid to show it.

Hillarious. Funny beyond breaths (in all respects).
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Old 04-04-2007, 02:49 PM   #2
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Holy crap I didn't ever think 5th graders were that sexual active. :P
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Old 04-04-2007, 04:04 PM   #3
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

They were when I was a 5th grader. Kids were already having sex as early as 4th grade, though that was considered a bit fast. Still, all serious boyfriends and girlfriends in the 5th grade kissed and fondled -- or so we always heard.

This does sound like a big hearsay trial. I mean, seriously. If these four kids were hated beyond all measure, it would be possible (in the state of Louisiana, given this news article) for all the other students to team up against them and make up a lie: "we saw them having sex in class!"

That stated, I don't think they're lying. This sounds like it probably did happen and will go to court and the kids'll be found guilty.

That stated, I am horrified that "obscene behavior" is a felony. That's fucking ludicrous. "I had sex with my wife in a public restroom on the spur of the moment because we felt like being naughty. We got caught, and now we're felons for life." Give me a fucking break. MISDEMEANOR if I ever heard one.
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Old 04-04-2007, 04:31 PM   #4
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This post is a joke, if you take it seriously, don't.

[strike:70d29]This thread lacks photos. I can't even tell if those kids were hawt or anything. What am I gonna do now? Wack off to 9th graders? DAMN YOU![/strike:70d29]
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Old 04-04-2007, 05:23 PM   #5
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Huh, heard this story before. Well, a similar one.

Man, four of them? Uhh.

I found out what happens under the covers only at sixth grade so... yeah, that's creepy for me.

Uhhh, I'm in 9th grade.
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Old 04-04-2007, 06:42 PM   #6
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

For some odd reason, I do not find this unusual. I am actually kind of surprised that I have not heard about something like this earlier.

I don't think that the guy in charge of the class should of been punished though, because I wouldn't get in the middle of some horny bastards like that. They would eat my ****ing eyes out for getting in the way of their lust ;_;.

I personally think of this as gross more than funny or strange.
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Old 04-04-2007, 08:04 PM   #7
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

This story is so funny and wrong on so many different levels.
o_O
Poor kids, the trauma they must have gone through watching that.
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Old 04-05-2007, 01:22 AM   #8
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Another Fan
Huh, heard this story before. Well, a similar one.
Stuff like this is what urban legends are made of. It's absolutely hillarious to here a "legend come true" as it were, though.
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Old 04-05-2007, 11:51 AM   #9
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Nah, I heard of another news story. It had the article along with it.

More than once actually.
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Old 04-05-2007, 03:39 PM   #10
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

That immediately made me think of the anime "Today in Class 5-2".

And it's true, kids are having sex all over the place these days. I heard a statistic that the majority of kids aren't virgins during junior high.
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Old 04-05-2007, 07:10 PM   #11
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Geez... That's all I can say.
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Old 04-06-2007, 04:31 PM   #12
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Re: Oh gosh, I can't stop laughing (News)!

Giggity giggity goo.
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