03-12-2016, 02:05 PM | #151 |
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I'm so happy that I just discovered this thread, this is the first season I've ever watched the Bachelor, I love you Jeri
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03-19-2016, 10:54 AM | #152 |
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ALRIGHT BIZNITCHES THIS IS IT
THE SEASON FINALE I.E. THE EPISODE THAT CAN BASICALLY BE BOILED DOWN TO THE LAST 5 MINUTES ARE YOU TEAM LAUREN OR TEAM JOJO? OH MY GOD THIS IS THREE HOURS NO THANKS WE ARE SKIPPING ALL OF THE SHITTY INBETWEEN PARTS WHERE CHRIS HARRISON TALKS ABOUT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IMPORTANT |
03-19-2016, 10:58 AM | #153 |
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#THEBACHELORFINALE
THEY GO THROUGH THIS WHOLE DEAL WHERE THEY REFLECT LISTLESSLY ON THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MAN BEN CONTINUES TO REGRET BREACHING CONTRACT TWICE MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY POLYAMORY OR SOMETHING BECAUSE CLEARLY THIS ISN'T WORKING TOO WELL MAN POLYAMOROUS BACHELOR WOULD BE SO MUCH LESS PAINFUL BUT ALSO PROBABLY WORSE |
03-19-2016, 11:08 AM | #154 |
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OH MAN I FORGOT ABOUT THE PART WHERE HE INTRODUCES THE GIRLS TO HIS FAMILY THIS IS PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY OTHER INTERESTING PART OF THE FINALE BECAUSE OF HOW AWKWARD IT IS
FLIGHT ATTENDANT IS FIRST TO BAT HIS MOTHER FINDS HIM BEING IN LOVE WITH TWO WOMEN "DISTURBING" WELL THIS WILL END SUPER WELL I'M SURE LOL LAUREN SAID SHE WANTED TO MEET HIS PARENTS IN LIKE EPISODE ONE MAN LAUREN IS SUPER BORING I SERIOUSLY FORGET HOW BORING SHE IS BECAUSE SHE BASICALLY DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING EVER BUT MAN SHE IS SO BORING UM LAUREN HAS A REALLY AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH HIS MOM ABOUT HAVING FIGHTS WITH BEN MAN MARRIAGE-RELATED CONVERSATIONS ARE PRETTY MUCH THE WORST THING WELL THAT WAS SORT OF UNEVENTFUL BASICALLY NO ONE CAN FUCKING SHUT UP ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE SAID THAT HE LOVES TWO WOMEN I NEVER THOUGHT I'D ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE THE PART WHERE THEY GO ON SUPER BORING DATES IN SOME EXOTIC LOCALE |
03-19-2016, 11:15 AM | #155 |
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NOW FOR JOJO
I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT JOJO SHE IS OKAY I SUPPOSE AND SHE IS PROBABLY MORE INTERESTING THAN LAUREN SHE BROUGHT A REALLY ODD BOUQUET OF LILIES IN A CONCH BEN HAS TO EXPLAIN HOW HE LIKES JOJO TO HIS PARENTS THIS IS WEIRD AND FEELS STRANGELY SCRIPTED I WANT THIS TO END PLEASE OKAY THEY SEEM LIKE A MUCH MORE SOLID COUPLE THAN BEN AND LAUREN THEN LAUREN IS JUST SORT OF BLAH AWWW THEY FEEL SAFE TOGETHER OKAY I CAME INTO THIS THINKING THAT JOJO WAS THE RUNNER-UP BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THEY ARE ACTUALLY THE ONES WITH A DECENT SHOT AT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP AND IT DEFINITELY SEEMS THAT THE 'RENTS PREFER HER ALRIGHT THE BACHELOR I WAS NOT CONVINCED THIS WAS GOING TO BE WORTH WATCHING BUT YOU HAVE CONVINCED ME NOW |
03-19-2016, 11:20 AM | #156 |
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THE PARENTS ARE NOT HELPFUL IN HIM MAKING HIS DECISION
C'MON FRIENDS HAVE SOME OPINIONS YOU ARE PARENTS YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO JUDGE HARSHLY EVERYONE YOUR SON DATES THIS IS PRECIOUS THOUGH NGL HIS PARENTS ARE REALLY CUTE AND REALLY LOVE HIM HUH INTERESTING I JUST NOTICED THAT LIKE THE LAST HOUR OF THIS SHOW HAS NO COMMERCIALS |
03-19-2016, 11:27 AM | #157 |
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ALRIGHT LET'S PLEASE MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES
I GUESS THIS IS THE LAST TWO ONE-ON-ONES SO LAUREN IS UP FIRST AND THEY'RE MAKING OUT ON A CATAMARAN BEN IS REALIZING THAT LAUREN AND HIS RELATIONSHIP IS KIND OF BORING AND NOT SUPER REALISTIC WOMP WOMP TOO BAD LAUREN |
03-19-2016, 11:35 AM | #158 |
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WELL LAUREN REALIZES THAT IT'S OVER
PRETTY MUCH THE ONLY INTERESTING THING THAT HAPPENED DURING THAT SEGMENT |
03-19-2016, 11:54 AM | #159 |
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NOW FOR JOJO
THEY HAVE A REALLY NORMAL RELATIONSHIP IT'S NICE THEY GO ON A SWIMMING DATE (SADLY NO AWKWARD ERECTIONS) THEY HAVE A REALLY AWKWARD MOMENT WHERE JOJO CONFRONTS HIM ABOUT THE SITUATION OH MAN THEY CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AND JOJO GRILLS HIM ABOUT WHY HE'S CONCERNED ABOUT THIS RELATIONSHIP AND HE'S LIKE "UMMMMMMMMMM IDK LOL" MAN THIS IS TANKING FAST THOUGH BEN TRIES TO SAVE IT HE SAYS SHE'S HIS BEST FRIEND WELL YEAH SORRY LAUREN IDK ABOUT THIS I THINK JOJO'S GOT IT LOCKED JOJO WANTS HIM TO TELL HER THAT IT'S HER BUT SORRY LOL HE ALREADY BREACHED CONTRACT TWICE THIS SEASON IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN UH OH THEY GO INTO THE BATHROOM SORRY FRIENDS THAT SHIT IS BUGGED WE GET TO HEAR YET ANOTHER AWKWARD CONVERSATION WHERE JOJO FORCES HIM TO CONFESS THAT HE SAID HE LOVES LAUREN MAN THIS IS LIKE A FUCKING MOVIE WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW AWWW MAN JOJO FEELS SICK OF HAVING TO COMPETE WITH OTHERS I FEEL YA GIRL I FEEL YA |
03-19-2016, 11:57 AM | #160 |
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NEXT IS THE RING ADVERTISEMENT PORTION OF THE SHOW
WE SKIP THIS NEXT ALRIGHT MES AMIES IT'S TIME FOR THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR ...AFTER SKIPPING MORE OF CHRIS HARRISON BLABBERING |
03-19-2016, 12:05 PM | #161 |
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OUTFIT RATINGS TIME
JOJO IS WEARING A PINK AND WHITE LACY DRESS WITH SOME SORT OF COMPLEX INTERLOCKING PAISLEY AND IS LOOKING PRETTY BANGIN (THOUGH SHE LOOKS BANGIN IN MOST THINGS TBH) 8/10 (SIDENOTE: MAN I REALLY LOVE WHERE THEY DO THE FINAL ROSE CEREMONY THING THEY'RE ALWAYS PRETTY AMAZING I KNOW I GIVE THE PRODUCERS A LOT OF SHIT FOR A LOT OF THINGS BUT THEY ARE PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT LOCATION SCOUTING EVEN IF I AM CONVINCED THEY ARE ALL KIND OF SECRETLY EVIL) Spoiler: show |
03-19-2016, 04:48 PM | #164 |
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I'm crying. Genuinely crying tears of beautiful laughter.
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01-07-2017, 07:47 PM | #165 |
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HEY DUDES AND DUDETTES
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN TIME FOR THE EVERYONE'S FAVORITE REALITY SHOW TRAINWRECK THE BACHELOR THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS ANOTHER SLEW OF DESPERATE LADIES HAVE GATHERED IN THE SAME PLACE TO THROW THEMSELVES AT THE SAME GUY FOR 3 MONTHS STRAIGHT PURELY FOR OUR SCHADENFRUEDERY ENJOYMENT I HAVE BEEN A LITTLE BUSY WITH A COMBINATION OF WORK AND GIVING THE PEOPLE OF WF WHAT THEY WANT THIS WEEKEND SO I HAVE NOT GOTTEN AROUND TO WATCHING THE FIRST EPISODE, BUT IF YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ALONG WITH ME, I PLAN ON WATCHING THE FIRST EPISODE AROUND 11 AM EST TOMORROW MORNING (THAT'S SUNDAY THE 8TH OF JAN). I WILL TRY MY BEST TO START ON TIME IF YOU WISH TO WATCH ALONG. IT SHOULD BE AVAILABLE ON HULU AND HOPEFULLY YOUR COMMERCIALS WILL LARGELY SYNCH UP WITH MINE BUT IF NOT YOU CAN AT LEAST GET A PICTURE FOR WHAT THE VARIOUS LADIES ARE LIKE EITHER WAY SEE YOU TOMORROW FOR HOT BACHELOR ACTION!!!!!!!! |
01-08-2017, 10:44 AM | #166 |
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ALRIGHT BOYS AND GIRLS
POP THOSE CORNS CARBONATE THOSE SUGAR DRINKS BECAUSE WE ARE ABOUT TO START BEFORE WE GET INTO THE NITTY GRITTY, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT OUR ELIGIBLE HUNK Spoiler: show IN ANY CASE THE MAIN EVENT WILL BEGIN IN APPROXIMATELY 15 MINUTES GIRD YOUR LOINS FRIENDS |
01-08-2017, 10:54 AM | #167 |
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OH OKAY SO BEFORE WE START BRIEF RECAP OF HOW THIS WORKS
ABC GATHERS TOGETHER ALL OF THE MOST DESPERATE WHITE SINGLE LADIES (WITH A FEW NON-WHITE ONES THROWN IN TO MAKE THEM SEEM LIKE THEY'RE NOT RACIST EVEN IF ALL THE NON-WHITE ONES LAST LIKE 3 SHOWS AT BEST) AND STICKS THEM ALL IN A HOUSE TOGETHER THEY PICK A REASONABLY ATTRACTIVE BUT STILL RELATEABLE SINGLE EACH WEEK THE GUY TAKES 2 OF THEM ON "DATES" AND TAKES THE REST ON WHAT ULTIMATELY AMOUNTS TO TOTALLY UNROMATIC DAY TRIPS THAT SEEM MORE APPROPRIATE FOR A SOCCER MOM AND HER NUCLEAR FAMILY (I.E. THE "GROUP DATE") EACH "DATE" HAS A ROSE AT STAKE - ROSES ARE BASICALLY IMMUNITY TALISMANS THAT ALLOW YOU TO STAY AROUND ANOTHER WEEK IF YOU DON'T GET A ROSE ON THE ONE ON ONE, YOU'RE GOING HOME. IF YOU DON'T GET A ROSE ON THE GROUP DATES, YOU GET TO ACT LIKE A GIGANTIC JEALOUSY MONSTER (ESPECIALLY IF THE OBLIGATORY CRAZY THE PRODUCERS PLANTED GETS IT YOU CAN SCORE EXTRA JEALOUSY POINTS FOR THAT) AT THE END OF THE WEEK THERE IS A "COCKTAIL PARTY" (WHICH IS BASICALLY JUST A LAST DITCH ATTEMPT FOR GIRLS WHO HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN TO TRY TO ACT LIKE THEY'RE STILL RELEVANT) WHICH LEADS UP TO THE "ROSE CEREMONY" WHERE ANYONE WITHOUT AN IMMUNITY TALISMAN IS PLACED ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK IN THE "CEREMONY" THE HUNKY BACHELOR HANDS OUT IMMUNITY TALISMANS TO ALL BUT LIKE 2-3 OF THE LADIES (IT IS WORTH NOTING THAT THE EDITORS ARE SCHEMING AGAINST US DURING THIS PORTION BECAUSE THE NUMBER OF ROSES ON HIS TABLE DEFINITELY CHANGES RANDOMLY BETWEEN SHOTS) EVERYONE WITHOUT THE TALISMAN GETS KICKED OUT ONCE THEY'RE ALL GONE AND THEN WE DO THE WHOLE THING AGAIN NEXT WEEK THERE'S ALSO THE HOMETOWN DATES (WHICH ARE PROBABLY THE BEST PART WHERE EVERYONE'S FAMILY DRAMA GETS THROWN HEADLONG INTO THE SPOTLIGHT) THE "FANTASY SUITE" DATES (AKA THE BONE ZONE) AND THE FINAL EPISODE (WHICH IS BASICALLY AN HOUR AND A HALF OF RIGMAROLE LEADING UP TO THE FINAL DRAMATIC CLIMAX ENDING) DON'T WORRY IT'S ALL PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD |
01-08-2017, 11:06 AM | #168 |
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THIS SEASON ON THE BACHELOR
DRAMA ACTION TIGHT PANTS IT'S UNLIKE ANYTHING WE'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE APPARENTLY LOOKS PRETTY SAMEY TO ME HE'S ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE A BADBOY WE OPEN WITH SOME ~*~QUIRKY BLOOPERS~*~ OH AND OF COURSE THE OBLIGATORY SHIRTLESS WORKOUT MONTAGE AND THE GRATUITOUS SHOWER SHOT HE WAS ON THE SEASON OF THE BACHELOR WITH THE GIRL FROM ATLANTA HE'S ALSO ~QUIRKY~ AND MUMBLES AND LEANS ON HIS HAND AND TALKS TOO MUCH ~SOOOOO QUIRKY~ AND HE'S SENSITIVE AND HAD HIS HEART BROKEN OMG AND HE ALSO GOT HIS HEART BROKEN BY THE AWFUL CANADIAN GIRL (YOU'LL REMEMBER HER FROM LAST SEASON AS ONE OF THE TOP 4) HIS FAMILY IS FOR SOME REASON STILL ON BOARD WITH THIS (LIKE DOES HE HAVE A JOB OR SOMETHING HE'S GIVEN UP TO DO THIS SHOW FOUR TIMES???) HE HAS A PRECOCIOUS LITTLE SISTER OF COURSE GIVING HIM DATING ADVICE (SHE'S LIKE 15 THIS IS WEIRD) ROSE HOLDING PROMO SHOTS (HE SUCKS AT THESE) HAHAHAHA ONE OF THE GIRLS CALLS HIM A PIECE OF SHIT LOL WELL NEXT UP IS THE REAL MEAT OF THE EPISODE - THE LADIES WHOO |
01-08-2017, 11:11 AM | #169 |
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OMG ALL THE BACHELORS FROM THE LAST FEW SEASONS
SUPER BLOND GUY WITH QUIRKY WIFE SUPER COUNTRY GUY AND OUR FRIEND BEN FROM LAST SEASON (NOTE THEY DID NOT PUT IN THE HOMOPHOBE) THEY ALL TALK ABOUT HOW EVERYONE THINKS HE'S A TOOLBAG (ALSO THESE GUYS ARE ALL STILL HOT SO THAT'S GOOD) THEN THE TOOLBAG SHOWS UP MAN THIS IS SUPER BORING I HOPE THEY DON'T DO THIS AGAIN I REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR STUPID ADVICE BRING OUT THE LADIES NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE GUYS |
01-08-2017, 11:30 AM | #170 |
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AFTER A LITTLE MORE SHIRTLESSNESS, HERE COME THE LADIES
ALRIGHT FIRST LADY IS A BLACK LADY (WOW!) NAME: RACHEL AGE: 31 OCCUPATION: ATTORNEY HOMETOWN: DALLAS TX SHE SEEMS OKAY AND SMART AND APPARENTLY LIKES TO SING AND VACUUM SHE SEEMS SANE BUT I DON'T EXPECT HER TO LAST MORE THAN ABOUT 3 WEEKS NAME: DANIELLE AGE: 27 OCCUPATION: NAIL SALON OWNER HOMETOWN: LA, CA SHE'S AN ENTREPRENEUR WHICH IS OKAY BUT MAN SHE SOUNDS VAPID NAME: VANESSA AGE: 28 OCCUPATION: SPECIAL NEEDS TEACHER HOMETOWN: MONTREAL I LIKE HER SHE SPEAKS FRENCH AND ENGLISH AND ITALIAN AND TEACHES CUTE KIDS SHE SEEMS REASONABLE AND NICE AND I HOPE SHE'S NOT A WACKJOB NAME: JOSEPHINE AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: NURSING STUDENT HOMETOWN: SANTA CRUZ CA THEY SPEND A SOLID 30 SECONDS HOLDING ON HER MEOWING AT HER CAT OH GOD SHE'S ~QUIRKY~ OH GOD NO PLEASE MAKE IT STOP NAME: RAVEN AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: FASHION BOUTIQUE OWNER HOMETOWN: HOXIE ARKANSAS SHE IS PAINFULLY SOUTHERN (HER CLOTHES ARE OKAY THO) NAME: CORRINE AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: BUSINESS OWNER HOMETOWN: MIAMI FL SHE HAS A NANNY???? GIRL YOU ARE A GODDAMNED ADULT (SHE IS ALSO A "SRS BUSINESS WOMAN") MAN IDK WHO YOU ARE BUT I THINK YOU ARE PROBABLY THE CRAZY NAME: ALEXIS AGE: WEIRD OCCUPATION: ATTORNEY HOMETOWN: SEACAUCUS N OH MY GOD THIS GIRL IS EVEN QUIRKIER THAN THE LAST ONE SHE WALKS TO CVS IN A GROSS SUMO SUIT AND IS OBSESSED WITH DOLPHINS OH GOD DOLPHIN CALLS NAME: DANIELLE AGE: 30 OCCUPATION: NICU NURSE HOMETOWN: NASHVILLE TN REASONABLE AND WELL ADJUSTED NAME: TAYLOR AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL HOMETOWN: SEATTLE WA MAN THEY ARE FLYING THROUGH THESE WOMEN THIS TIME (ALSO WEIRD SHE IS MY AGE) I WOULD NOT TRUST SOMEONE MY AGE WITH MY MENTAL HEALTH SORRY OH SHE'S ALSO BIRACIAL (BUT SHE DOES NOT LOOK IT SO SHE STANDS A CHANCE AT GOING PRETTY FAR [WANWANNN) NAME: ELIZABETH AGE: 29 OCCUPATION: DOULA??? HOMETOWN: LAS VEGAS NV OH MAN SHE WAS THE MAID OF HONOR AT THE LAST BACHELORETTE'S WEDDING AND OMG SHE SLEPT WITH THE BACHELOR LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL AND THEN TURNED HIM DOWN OLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOL OMG DRAMA BOMBBBBBB THIS GON BE GUD FRIENDS ALRIGHT NOW FOR THE GETTING OUT OF THE LIMO PART |
01-08-2017, 11:55 AM | #171 |
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ALRIGHT NOW FOR THE REST OF THEM (AND A RECAP OF THE ONES WE JUST MET) BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN PICK OUT THE CRAZIES
THIS TIME WE WILL ALSO BE JUDGING FASHION BECAUSE THAT IS AN EQUALLY FUN PART OF THIS FIRST EPISODE WARNING THERE ARE LIKE A BILLION RED BALLGOWNS NUMBER ONE IS THE NAIL SALON LADY NAME: DANIELLE AGE: 27 OCCUPATION: NAIL SALON OWNER HOMETOWN: LA, CA DRESS: BLACK GOWN MEH SHE'S FINE NAME: ELIZABETH AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: MARKETING MANAGER HOMETOWN: DALLAS TX DRESS: WHITE LACE 6/10 SHE IS SO COUNTRY OMG THAT TEXAS ACCENT IS PAINFUL NAME: RACHEL AGE: 31 OCCUPATION: ATTORNEY HOMETOWN: DALLAS TX DRESS: RED BALLGOWN 9/10 (SHE ROCKS IT) FIRST OF THE MANY RED DRESSES THOUGH SHE IS PROBABLY DOING THE BEST WITH THEM. SHE ALSO SEEMS REASONABLY SANE OH AND SHE PLAYS FANTASY FOOTBALL THAT'S... INTERESTING NAME: CHRISTEN AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: WEDDING VIDEOGRAPHER HOMETOWN: TULSA DRESS: YELLOW SEQUINS 3/10 ICK THAT DRESS IS HORRENDOUS AND SHE DID A WEIRD GROSS FAN DANCE I HATE HER ALREADY IS SHE DRUNK? I THINK SHE'S DRUNK HE HATES HER TOO GOOD PLEASE LEAVE NAME: TAYLOR AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: MENTAL HEALTH SOMETHING HOMETOWN: SEATTLE DRESS: BURGUNDY COCKTAIL DRESS 9/10 GIRL YOU ROCKIN THAT DRESS HARD OMG SHE'S PRECIOUS AND THEN SHE CALLS HIM A PIECE OF SHIT SIGH SO MUCH POTENTIAL OH WELL NAME: KRISTINA AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: DENTAL HYGENIST HOMETOWN: LEXINGTON, KY DRESS: SPARKLY ROYAL BLUE (6/10) SHE HAS AN ACCENT. LITERALLY ALL YOU CAN GET FROM THAT NAME: ANGELA AGE: 26 OCCUPATION: MODEL HOMETOWN: GREENVILLE SC DRESS: WEIRD RED DRESS WITH THAT LITTLE BOOB WINDOW 4/10 FORGETTABLE NAME: LAUREN AGE: 30 OCCUPATION: LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE HOMETOWN: NAPLES FL DRESS: SPARKLY SILVER PAISLEY DEAL 5/10 SHE'S 30 AND A "LAW SCHOOL GRADUATE" OH HONEY OMG HER LAST NAME IS HUSSIE POOR GIRL NAME: MICHELLE AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: FOOD TRUCK OWNER HOMETOWN: LA, CA DRESS: CUTE BLUE DRESS 7/10 SHE'S NOT WHITE THAT'S COOL NAME: DOMINIQUE AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: RESTAURANT SERVER HOMETOWN: LA, CA (AGAIN? JEEZ GUYS TRY HARDER) DRESS: PINKISH RED IDK IT'S OKAY 5/10 ANOTHER NON-WHITE PERSON AND THAT'S IT NAME: IDA MARIE (REALLY) AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: SALES MANAGER HOMETOWN: HARLINGTON, TX DRESS: WEIRD LACY 2 PIECE BLUE DRESS 4/10 MAN SHE SEEMS BORING AS SHIT UGH SHE MAKES HIM DO A TRUST FALL NAME: OLIVIA AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: APPAREL SALES REP HOMETOWN: ANCHORAGE AL (4 REALZIES) DRESS: FUR COAT AND FANCY SPARKLY BLACK DRESS BEST ONE YET 10/10 OMG SHE'S FROM ALASKA AND SHE'S NOT WHITE FAVORITE SO FAR NAME: SARAH AGE: 26 OCCUPATION: GRADE SCHOOL TEACHER HOMETOWN: NEWPORT BEACH CA DRESS: PINK WEIRD COCKTAIL BALLGOWN IT'S UGLY 2/10 THIS ONE COMES RUNNING IN AND MAKES A RUNNER UP JOKE UGH NOT A FAN NAME: JASMINE G AGE: 29 OCCUPATION: PRO BASKETBALL DANCER HOMETOWN: SAN FRAN DRESS: CORAL BLUE PARTY DRESS GURLLLL SHE'S ROCKIN IT HARD 9/10 ANOTHER NON-WHITE PERSON MAN THEY'RE DOIN OKAY IN THE DIVERSITY DEPARTMENT THIS YEAR MAN OKAY SHE'S ADORABLE SHE ALSO BROUGHT THE RING GUY AND TOLD HIM WHAT SHE WANTS THOUGH UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM NAME: HAILEY (DUFF? SHE LOOKS LIKE HAILEY DUFF) AGE: 23 OCCUPATION: PHOTOGRAPHER HOMETOWN: VANCOUVER DRESS: MEH RED DRESS 6/10 OH MY GOD SHE'S NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR PLEASE GO HOME NOW NAME: ASTRID AGE: 26 OCCUPATION: PLASTIC SURGERY OFFICE MANAGER HOMETOWN: TAMPA DRESS: IT'S THE COLOR OF GRAPE SODA 4/10 SHE SPEAKS GERMAN THOUGH AND SAYS DIRTY THINGS TO HIM IDK I'M OKAY WITH HER SO FAR NAME: LIZ AGE: 29 OCCUPATION: DOULA??? HOMETOWN: SOMEWHERE DRESS: SHE'S WEARING THE SAME DRESS AS THE ALASKAN GIRL AND IS NOT PULLING IT OFF AS WELL 6/10 UH OH THIS IS THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH AND HE DOESN'T REMEMBER HER LOL THIS IS TOTALLY A TRAP SHE IS ACTING LIKE SHE'S INTO THIS THOUGH MAN DRAMATIC REALIZATION MUSICCCCC AND COMMERCIAL |
01-08-2017, 12:29 PM | #172 |
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MAN THEY ARE POWERING THROUGH THE WOMEN THIS YEAR I AM STRUGGLING TO KEEP UP
WELL HE REALIZED THAT HE KNOWS THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH CHRIS HARRISON ACTS ALL INNOCENT AS IF HE WEREN'T TOTALLY IN ON IT NAME: CORINNE AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: BUSINESS OWNER (THIS IS NANNY GIRL) HOMETOWN: MIAMI FL DRESS: DEEP PURPLE FLOWY NUMBER PRETTY GREAT ACTUALLY 8/10 IT'S A SHAME HER DRESS IS SO NICE I THINK SHE'S A PRIME CANDIDATE FOR CRAZY SHE EVEN SAYS THIS WILL BE CRAZY SHE DOES GIVE HIM A HUG TOKEN WHICH IS CUTE THO NAME: VANESSA AGE: 28 OCCUPATION: SPECIAL NEEDS TEACHER HOMETOWN: MONTREAL DRESS: STRANGE BLACK AND WHITE THING BUT SHE PULLS IT OFF OKAY 7/10 SHE BREAKS OUT THE FRENCH IMMEDIATELY AWW SHE'S CUTE I LOVE HER HE LIKES HER TOO!!! NAME: DANIELLE M AGE: 31 OCCUPATION: NICU NURSE HOMETOWN: NASHVILLE DRESS: 2 PIECEY WINE COLORED DRESS IT'S OKAY 6/10 SHE BROUGHT HIM HOMEMADE MAPLE SYRUP OMG THIS IS PRETTY PRECIOUS NAME: RAVEN AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: FASHION BOUTIQUE OWNER HOMETOWN: HOXIE ARKANSAS DRESS: FOR OWNING A FASHION BOUTIQUE HER DRESS IS AWFUL 2/10 MAN THAT ACCENT IS GOING TO BUG ME SHE SHOWS HIM A WEIRD CHEER THAT THEY APPARENTLY DO UGH NAME: JAIMI AGE: 28 OCCUPATION: CHEF HOMETOWN: NOLA DRESS: BLACK STRAPLESS COCKTAIL DRESS 7/10 ANOTHER NON-WHITE GIRL... AND SHE HAS A SEPTUM PIERCING AND MAKES A BALLS JOKE UMMMMM YEAH NOT SURE ABOUT HER NAME: BRIANA AGE: 28 OCCUPATION: SURGICAL SOMETHING HOMETOWN: SALT LAKE CITY DRESS: WEIRD PURPLE SPARKLES 2/10 SHE LISTENS TO HIS HEART AND THEY START TO POWER THROUGH THE REST OF THEM NAME: SUSANNAH AGE: 26 OCCUPATION: ACCOUNT MANAGER HOMETOWN: SAN DIEGO CA DRESS: RED TIGHT FITTING MEH 5/10 TWO WORDS: BEARD MASSAGE (ALSO NOT WHITE) NAME: JOSEPHINE AGE: 24 OCCUPATION: HOMETOWN: SANTA CRUZ CA DRESS: IT DOESN'T FIT HER 1/10 UGH SHE'S AWFUL SKIP OH GOD SHE MAKES A PUN ON WINNER IN MY BOOK BUT PUTTING A HOTDOG IN A HOLLOWED OUT BOOK AND THEN MAKES HIM LADY AND THE TRAMP IT OH GOD WHY UGH WHYYYYYY CRINGE R I N G E NAME: BRITTANY AGE: 26 OCCUPATION: TRAVEL NURSE (INTERESTING) HOMETOWN: SANTA MONICA (COOL IT WITH THE CALI GIRLS AIGHT) DRESS: ANOTHER SHOCKER! A RED DRESS 5/10 SHE'S PUTTING ON A GLOVE AND MAKING HIM BEND OVER AND CUT OOOOOKAAAAAAY NAME: JASMINE B AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: FLIGHT ATTENDANT HOMETOWN: TACOMA DRESS: YOU GUESSED IT ANOTHER RED DRESS 3/10 NAME: WHITNEY AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: PILATES INSTRUCTOR HOMETOWN: MONTANA SOMEWHERE DRESS: OH MY GOD SO MANY GOD DAMNED RED DRESSES -10/10 NAME: LACEY AGE: 25 OCCUPATION: DIGITAL MARKETING MANAGER HOMETOWN: NY, NY DRESS: I JUST CAN'T EVEN ANYMORE THIS GIRL RODE IN ON A CAMEL SO SHE COULD MAKE A HUMP JOKE SO YEAH AND SHE'S WEARING RED GODDAMMIT THIS NEXT GIRL IS WEARING A SHARK COSTUME NAME: SHARKGIRL AGE: SHARK OCCUPATION: BEING A SHARK HOMETOWN: SHARKVILLE DRESS: SHARK SHARK/SHARK OH IT'S THE FUCKING DOLPHIN GIRL TOO MAN SHE NEED TO LEAVE UGH SHE MADE A DOLPHIN PUN EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SHE THINKS SHE'S A DOLPHIN HONEY THAT IS DEFINITELY A SHARK COSTUME YOU NEED SOME HELP LIKE ACTUAL HELP WHEN I SAY THE CRAZIES, I JUST MEAN LIKE A SUPER JEALOUS GIRL WITH INSECURITIES NOT SOMEONE WHO HAS A LEGITIMATE MENTAL ILLNESS |
01-08-2017, 12:40 PM | #173 |
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WELL THAT'S ALL OF THEM
I ONLY REALLY LIKE 3 OF THEM SO FAR SO LIKE THE CASTING IS NOT SO GREAT BUT A+ ON THE DIVERSITY THIS TIME I GUESS MORE DRAMA WITH THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH (ALSO WTF IS A DOULA???) MAN IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD NOT TO BE LOOKING OUT ON A SEA OF WHITE LADIES REFRESHING THOUGH BIG HEARTFELT SPEECH AND WHATEVER C'MON LET'S GET TO THE CATFIGHTING THE LAWYER GETS THE FIRST CHAT SHE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY CHARMING OKAY YEAH I REALLY LIKE HER IM NOT GONNA LIE OMG HE HAS 10 SIBLINGS JESUS HER PARENTS HAVE A TON OF SIBLINGS TOO MAN SHE MIGHT ACTUALLY GO SOMEWHERE LET'S HOPE SO I LIKE HER VIDEOGRAPHER GIRL WITH THE GROSS FAN DANCE TRIES TO TEACH HIM TO DANCE IT'S AWKWARD HE TALKS TO THE NAIL SALON ONE AND MAN HER DRESS IS REALLY, REALLY BAD UGH SUPER SOUTHERN GIRL HER ACCENT IS KILLING ME AND HERE COMES THE SHOW-RUINER, CHRIS HARRISON, WITH THE ROSE JUST CASUALLY PUTTING IT ON THE TABLE STAKES ARE ARTIFICIALLY HEIGHTENED OH THE HUG TOKEN GIRL RUINS THE HUG TOKEN THING BY GIVING HIM A BIG BAG OF TOKENS AND LETTING HIM USE THEM FOR WHATEVER UGH WHY SHE GIVES ME THE CREEPS AWWW VANESSA IS REALLY PRECIOUS HER FRIEND GOT HER TO DO IT AND SHE WANTED HIM TO BE THE BACHELOR MAN I ALREADY LOVE HER THEY'RE KIND OF SWEET TOGETHER I KNOW THIS IS TOTALLY EDITED TO MAKE IT FEEL LIKE THIS BUT THE SEXUAL TENSION IS PALPABLE ...AND THEN NANNY HUG TOKEN GIRL BREAKS IT FUCKING UGH AND SHE MAKES OUT WITH HIM YANNO I HOPE SHE FUCKING GETS BOOTED UGH HE MADE HER FEEL REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE TOO NOT ONLY DID SHE DOUBLE DIP BUT SHE KISSED HIM GOD I HATE HER YEAH "WHAT A HO" IS RIGHT |
01-08-2017, 12:50 PM | #174 |
プラスチック♡ラブ
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: 蒸気の波の中
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POST-KISS DRAMA BOMB
SO MUCH FOR THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH THEY ALL COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT HAVING TALKED WITH HIM (WHICH IS LIKE IDK ALWAYS A PROBLEM IT'S NOT REALLY A BIG DEAL IDK) THE LADIES START REALIZING THAT THIS SITUATION IS 100% UNNATURAL THE BASKETBALL DANCER IS FREAKING OUT A BIT AWWW YOU'RE SWEET CHILL GIRL OMG THEY'RE PLAYING CATCH SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH WITH DOLPHIN/SHARK GIRL WHY DO THE GIRLS LIKE HER GOD PRODUCERS PLEASE JUST GET RID OF HER OH MY GOD SHE HAS GOTTEN INTO THE POOL AND IS MAKING DOLPHIN CALLS I JUST NO THANKS HE CALLS HER OUT ON THE FACT THAT THIS IS IN FACT A SHARK COSTUME UGH SHE'S SUPER DRUNK TOO FUCK ME HAHAHAH HE TELLS HER THAT SHE'S GOING HOME IF SHE TAKES OFF THE COSTUME UH OH THE GIRL HE SLEPT WITH GETS CAUGHT IN A CONVERSATION ABOUT HIS DATING HISTORY HE COMES UP TO HER AND IS CLEARLY NERVOUS ABOUT ADMITTING THAT HE REMEMBERS THEY MET WOW THIS IS AWKWARD ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE DIDN'T GIVE HIM HER NUMBER UGH THEY'RE TRYING TO JUSTIFY THIS TO EACH OTHER THIS IS AWKWARDDD THIS IS A TOTAL TRAINWRECK THANK GOD SOMEONE INTERRUPTS THEM THIS IS A TOTAL DUMPSTER FIRE |
01-08-2017, 12:58 PM | #175 |
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: 蒸気の波の中
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HE HASN'T GIVEN OUT THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE YET HMMMM
I REALLY HOPE THE CRAZY NANNY TOKEN GIRL DOESN'T GET IT BLAZING THROUGH A FEW FORGETTABLE GIRL OH THE NEONATAL NURSE SHE'S PRECIOUS THEY'RE BOTH FROM WISCONSIN ORIGINALLY AND SHE HAS A GOOD REASON FOR LIKING HER JOB AWW MAN SHE'S CUTE AND SEEMS REASONABLE I LIKE HER ALRIGHT IT'S ON FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE TIME (PLEASE DON'T GIVE IT TO THE CRAZY) Spoiler: show WELL ON THAT NOTE IT IS TIME FOR THE CHOPPING BLOCK LET'S GO |
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