E3 2016: THE CYCLE OF EMPIRES ON FAST FORWARD - Page 2

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:07 PM

THIS TRAILER BROUGHT TO YOU BY DEREK SMART DEREK SMART DEREK SMART

Spoiler: show

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:08 PM

LET'S HAVE A PRACTICAL CONVERSATION ABOUT PLAYING GAMES

WE'RE COMMITTED TO SUPPORTING COMMUNITIES FOR 6 MONTHS TO 2 YEARS BEFORE THEY ARE NO LONGER PROFITABLE AND WE RUTHLESSLY SMOTHER THEM

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:09 PM

PLEASE DOWNLOAD OUR SHITTY ME-TOO STEAM CLONE

WE HAVE FREE TRIALS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:09 PM

AT EA WE CELEBRATE CHARITABLE CAUSES

UNLESS THAT INVOLVES TREATING OUR EMPLOYEES LIKE HUMAN BEINGS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:10 PM

IN BATTLEFIELD 4 WE WILL DONATE TO CHARITY IF YOU ACTUALLY PLAY LIKE A GOOD TEAMMATE AND NOT LIKE A SELF-INTERESTED TROGLODYTE

THIS IS PROBABLY THE CHEAPEST PR MOVE WE'VE EVER DONE

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:10 PM

WELCOME BACK TO LONDON

MY CONDOLENCES

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:11 PM

SOCCER GAMES

THE DANE COOK OF SPORTS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:12 PM

MY NAME IS ALEX HUNTER

AND I AM A BLACK MAN FROM THE FUTURE WHERE THE UK DOES NOT SECEDE FROM THE EU

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:13 PM

IF I CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY THAT COMES MY WAY I CAN DO BIZARRE PERFORMANCE ART ON STAGE AT AN EA CONFERENCE

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:14 PM

HERE'S A SPORTS MOVIE ABOUT A BLACK MAN FEELING MOROSE ABOUT SPORTS BALL

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:15 PM

WHAT YOU JUST SAW IS A SINGLE PLAYER CAMPAIGN

IN A SPORTS GAME

THE POWER OF FROSTBITE

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:16 PM

PREMIER LEAGUE MANAGERS ARE IN THE GAME

HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ONLY WORTHLESS BRITISH FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS CARE ABOUT

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:18 PM

WHILE WE WANK TO FAMOUS FOOTBALL MAN CAN I ASK OUR EURO FRIENDS IF THEY HAVE ANY BOBBY KNIGHT EQUIVALENT

IF THERE ISN'T A MANAGER THAT THROWS CHAIRS ON THE FIELD WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:19 PM

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAPPENS IS ON THE PITCH

IF YOU DON'T COUNT TEAM SALARIES AND BRIBES TO CORRUPT FIFA EXECS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:20 PM

WHEN WE WIN WE MAKE THE FANS HAPPY

IF WE LOSE THEY RIOT AND KILL PEOPLE

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:21 PM

LIKE SERIOUSLY AT LEAST AMERICANS ONLY RIOT WHEN WE LOSE CHAMPIONSHIPS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:22 PM

WE KNEW THIS CORPORATE EXTRUDED CUTENESS WOULD STEAL YOUR HEARTS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:23 PM

WE SEEK OUT A FEW PROJECTS EACH YEAR TO SMOTHER ANY SEMBLANCE OF ORIGINALITY DESPERATELY TRYING TO CLAW ITS WAY INTO THE MAINSTREAM GAME INDUSTRY

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:24 PM

WE WANT TO ENSURE ALL PROFIT GOES BACK TO THE CREATORS*

*AFTER WE GET OUR BLOOD MONEY CUT AND IF THEY MEET MINIMUM SALES TARGETS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:25 PM

HEY GUYS ARTSY FARTSY PLATFORMER PUZZLE GAMES WITH NO WORDS BUT AN UNSPOKEN NARRATIVE

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHIT BEFORE

***deoxys*** · 06-12-2016, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoise

AND THESE DAYS NINTENDO HAS E3 "CONFERENCES" IN THE SAME WAY SYRIA HAS "STABLE DEMOCRATIC GOVERNMENT"

THE CYNIC IN ME WONDERS IF WE HAVE ONCE AGAIN REACHED THE POINT WHERE E3 HAS BECOME A FARCE IN THE EYES OF DEVELOPERS WHO HAVE REALIZED THAT YOU CAN GENERATE JUST AS MUCH HYPE BY LEAKING CINEMATIC TRAILERS ON YOUTUBE WITHOUT HAVING THE DEDICATE HALF YOUR TEAM TO SPENDING A YEAR CUTTING A VERTICAL SLICE TO SHOW OFF FOR GAMES JOURNALISTS LIKE JEFF GERSTMANN (WHO PERPETUALLY CARRIES THE MIEN OF A MAN WHO HAS BEEN DENIED THE DEATH HE CRAVES)

THIS IS FUCKING GOLD.

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:26 PM

YOU WILL UNCOVER THE HAM-HANDED NARRATIVE ABOUT HOW THE PURITY OF THE NOBLE SAVAGE IS GROUND INTO THE DIRT BY THE UNCARING HEEL OF INDUSTRIAL PROGRESS

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:27 PM

WE ALL LIVE IN AMERICA

AMERICA

IT'S WUNDERBAR

COCA COLA SOMETIMES WAR

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:28 PM

WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT STAR WARS

PLEASE PLAY JADE'S STAR WARS GAME

Blastoise · 06-12-2016, 11:29 PM

YOU CAN PLAY STAR WARS THE OLD REPUBLIC

I MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD BUT I GUESS IT'S AN OPTION IN THE SAME WAY ROLLING AROUND IN POISON OAK IS AN OPTION

06-12-2016, 11:07 PM	#26
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	THIS TRAILER BROUGHT TO YOU BY DEREK SMART DEREK SMART DEREK SMART Spoiler: show DON'T BELIEVE STAR CITIZEN'S LIES __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:08 PM	#27
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	LET'S HAVE A PRACTICAL CONVERSATION ABOUT PLAYING GAMES WE'RE COMMITTED TO SUPPORTING COMMUNITIES FOR 6 MONTHS TO 2 YEARS BEFORE THEY ARE NO LONGER PROFITABLE AND WE RUTHLESSLY SMOTHER THEM __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:09 PM	#28
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	PLEASE DOWNLOAD OUR SHITTY ME-TOO STEAM CLONE WE HAVE FREE TRIALS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:09 PM	#29
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	AT EA WE CELEBRATE CHARITABLE CAUSES UNLESS THAT INVOLVES TREATING OUR EMPLOYEES LIKE HUMAN BEINGS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:10 PM	#30
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	IN BATTLEFIELD 4 WE WILL DONATE TO CHARITY IF YOU ACTUALLY PLAY LIKE A GOOD TEAMMATE AND NOT LIKE A SELF-INTERESTED TROGLODYTE THIS IS PROBABLY THE CHEAPEST PR MOVE WE'VE EVER DONE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:10 PM	#31
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WELCOME BACK TO LONDON MY CONDOLENCES __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:11 PM	#32
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	SOCCER GAMES THE DANE COOK OF SPORTS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:12 PM	#33
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	MY NAME IS ALEX HUNTER AND I AM A BLACK MAN FROM THE FUTURE WHERE THE UK DOES NOT SECEDE FROM THE EU __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:13 PM	#34
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	IF I CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY THAT COMES MY WAY I CAN DO BIZARRE PERFORMANCE ART ON STAGE AT AN EA CONFERENCE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:14 PM	#35
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	HERE'S A SPORTS MOVIE ABOUT A BLACK MAN FEELING MOROSE ABOUT SPORTS BALL __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:15 PM	#36
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WHAT YOU JUST SAW IS A SINGLE PLAYER CAMPAIGN IN A SPORTS GAME THE POWER OF FROSTBITE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:16 PM	#37
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	PREMIER LEAGUE MANAGERS ARE IN THE GAME HERE ARE SOME PEOPLE ONLY WORTHLESS BRITISH FOOTBALL HOOLIGANS CARE ABOUT __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:18 PM	#38
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WHILE WE WANK TO FAMOUS FOOTBALL MAN CAN I ASK OUR EURO FRIENDS IF THEY HAVE ANY BOBBY KNIGHT EQUIVALENT IF THERE ISN'T A MANAGER THAT THROWS CHAIRS ON THE FIELD WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:19 PM	#39
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT HAPPENS IS ON THE PITCH IF YOU DON'T COUNT TEAM SALARIES AND BRIBES TO CORRUPT FIFA EXECS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib Last edited by Blastoise; 06-12-2016 at 11:54 PM.

06-12-2016, 11:20 PM	#40
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WHEN WE WIN WE MAKE THE FANS HAPPY IF WE LOSE THEY RIOT AND KILL PEOPLE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:21 PM	#41
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	LIKE SERIOUSLY AT LEAST AMERICANS ONLY RIOT WHEN WE LOSE CHAMPIONSHIPS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:22 PM	#42
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WE KNEW THIS CORPORATE EXTRUDED CUTENESS WOULD STEAL YOUR HEARTS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:23 PM	#43
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WE SEEK OUT A FEW PROJECTS EACH YEAR TO SMOTHER ANY SEMBLANCE OF ORIGINALITY DESPERATELY TRYING TO CLAW ITS WAY INTO THE MAINSTREAM GAME INDUSTRY __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:24 PM	#44
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WE WANT TO ENSURE ALL PROFIT GOES BACK TO THE CREATORS* *AFTER WE GET OUR BLOOD MONEY CUT AND IF THEY MEET MINIMUM SALES TARGETS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:25 PM	#45
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	HEY GUYS ARTSY FARTSY PLATFORMER PUZZLE GAMES WITH NO WORDS BUT AN UNSPOKEN NARRATIVE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THIS SHIT BEFORE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:26 PM	#47
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	YOU WILL UNCOVER THE HAM-HANDED NARRATIVE ABOUT HOW THE PURITY OF THE NOBLE SAVAGE IS GROUND INTO THE DIRT BY THE UNCARING HEEL OF INDUSTRIAL PROGRESS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:27 PM	#48
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WE ALL LIVE IN AMERICA AMERICA IT'S WUNDERBAR COCA COLA SOMETIMES WAR __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:28 PM	#49
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WE'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT STAR WARS PLEASE PLAY JADE'S STAR WARS GAME __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2016, 11:29 PM	#50
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	YOU CAN PLAY STAR WARS THE OLD REPUBLIC I MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD BUT I GUESS IT'S AN OPTION IN THE SAME WAY ROLLING AROUND IN POISON OAK IS AN OPTION __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)