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Old 02-06-2018, 05:04 PM   #376
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SO BEFORE WE DELVE INTO THIS WEEK'S EPISODE, I WANTED TO SHARE A BIT OF BACHELOR-RELATED NEWS FOR THOSE (UNDERSTANDABLY) NOT FOLLOWING ALL THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS TO COME FROM THE #BACHELORNATION

OUR GOOD FRIEND BEKAH M.
MADE NATIONAL NEWS THIS PAST WEEK BY APPARENTLY BEING A MISSING PERSON


SUPER SLEUTHS QUICKLY CONCLUDED THAT A WOMAN WHO IS APPEARING REGULARLY ON NATIONAL TELEVISION IS PROBABLY NOT MISSING

TURNS OUT THAT SHE JUST DIDN'T CALL HER MOM AFTER GOING TO WORK ON A POT FARM FOR A FEW WEEKS

PEOPLE (READ: KELLY RIPPA) ARE NOW SPECULATING THAT SHE WILL BE TAKING HOME THE FINAL FINAL ROSE BECAUSE SHE CONTINUED TO BE ON SOCIAL MEDIA LOCKDOWN ENOUGH SO THAT HER MOTHER DIDN'T KNOW THAT SHE WAS STILL ALIVE

TAKE THAT HOW YOU WILL
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Old 02-06-2018, 05:15 PM   #377
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THIS WEEK: THE PRODUCERS SUBJECT THE INNOCENT CITIZENS OF PARIS TO THIS SHIT

THEY'RE UH, LIVING ON A BOAT THIS WEEK

I AM NOT REALLY SURE WHY

GOD THIS CITY IS WASTED ON THIS MAN

CAN WE THROW KRYSTAL OFF THE BOAT PLEASE

ALSO I LOVE THAT SHE READS INTO HER BEING ON THE SHOW ANOTHER WEEK DESPITE QUITE CLEARLY BEING FORCED TO STAY BY THE PRODUCERS

UGH FOUR DATES THAT MEANS

TWO ON ONES

TWO GIRLS LEAVE ONE GIRL RETURNS

KRYSTAL IS CONVINCED SHE WILL GET THE TWO ON ONE AND IS CONVINCED SHE'D WIN

ANYWAY DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
THE LAST LAUREN STANDING

TOMBER AMAREAUX Ŕ PARIS


THEY'RE GOING ON A LITTLE GONDOLA SOMEONE SAYS AS A SPEEDBOAT PULLS UP

KRYSTAL ACTS LIKE AN AGGRESSIVE BITCH TO THE LAST LAUREN STANDING FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BECAUSE SHE'S JUST INCREDIBLY PETTY

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Old 02-06-2018, 05:21 PM   #378
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ARIE TALKS ABOUT HOW MUCH HE'S ATTRACTED TO THE LAST LAUREN STANDING BUT THEN SIMULTANEOUSLY ADMITS THAT HE DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HER AT ALL

SO YEAH, THAT'S WHERE WE STAND, SIX WEEKS IN

I JUST WANT TO REMIND YOU THAT TYPICALLY BY THIS POINT, THE GIRLS WHO GO ON ONE-ON-ONES ARE TYPICALLY LIKE, AT LEAST SOMEWHAT ESTABLISHED

YOU'RE NOT REALLY SUPPOSED TO BE USING THE ONE-ON-ONES AS WEEDERS

ARIE THEN SPENDS A FULL TALKING HEAD SEGMENT TALKING ABOUT HOW HE IS NOT CONFIDENT ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL

THEY DON'T TALK FOR LIKE A FULL 20 UNBROKEN MINUTES

HE BASICALLY ASKS HER TO PAY HIM ATTENTION

OH HONEY THAT'S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO WORK

HOW ARE YOU LIKE, BAD AT BEING THE BACHELOR
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Old 02-06-2018, 05:31 PM   #379
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WELL RIGHT INTO THE NEXT DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
BECCA K
SEINNE
BEKAH
TIA
CARD READER
JENNA

LET'S GET ALL DRESSED UP


THAT EXCLUDES KRYSTAL JACQUELINE AND KENDALL

WOW SO HOPEFULLY THAT'S A NAIL IN THE COFFIN FOR KRYSTAL CONSIDERING THOSE TWO ARE PRETTY FORGETTABLE

WE'LL SEE THOUGH

ANYWAY, TIME TO SEND THE LAST LAUREN STANDING HOME

THE PRODUCERS ARE JUST KINDA PHONING IT IN AT THIS POINT BUT AT THE SAME TIME THIS IS PRETTY MUCH ARIE'S FAULT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS APPARENTLY

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO JUST PUT THIS GIRL ON LIKE THREE GROUP DATES AND SEND HER HOME DURING THE ROSE CEREMONY IF YOU'RE NOT FEELING IT

NOT JUST KEEP HER AROUND FOR SHIGGLES AND THEN JUST LIKE TEST THE WATER WITH A ONE-ON-ONE SIX WEEKS IN

IDK ARIE SPILLS HIS GUTS ABOUT A TRAGIC BACKSTORY AND LAUREN KEEPS TALKING ABOUT TRUST ISSUES CAN WE END THIS PLEASE

ARIE NO STOP

DON'T GIVE HER THE ROSE

YOU LITERALLY JUST SPENT THE ENTIRE DATE ENABLING HER GUARDEDNESS AND NOT MAKING ANY EFFORT TO GET TO KNOW HER

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HOW ARE YOU THIS BAD AT THIS

IT'S WEEK SIX WE HAVE LIKE THREE MORE ACTUAL EPISODES

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING "FIRST DATES" WITH THESE WOMEN
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Old 02-06-2018, 05:39 PM   #380
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WELL NOW IS THE GROUP DATE

PREDICTABLY, THEY'RE DOING BURLESQUE AT MOULIN ROUGE

LMAO ABC HAS TO CENSOR THE CANCAN DANCERS WHEN THEY FLASH THEIR UNDERWEAR

THIS GOES HOW YOU EXPECT IT TO - ONE OF THE GIRLS IS A DANCER AND IS SUPER GOOD, ONE OF THE GIRLS IS REALLY HORRIBLE, EVERYONE ELSE IS OKAY

SEINNE IS THE DANCER, TIA IS THE BAD ONE

EVERYONE IS WEARING RIDICULOUS COSTUMES

IDK THIS WOULD BE FUN IF WE HADN'T ALREADY HAD BASICALLY THIS EXACT DATE LIKE 100 TIMES BEFORE BUT IN SLIGHTLY LESS GLAMOROUS CONTEXTS

THEY DO RAISE THE STAKES A LITTLE BY HAVING THE WOMAN WHO GETS THE ROSE DANCE WITH ARIE ON STAGE AT THE MOULIN ROUGE

BUT ALL THE INSTRUCTION AND COSTUMES ARE LITERALLY FOR LIKE, A MINUTE OF FOOTAGE SO IT ALL SEEMS PRETTY POINTLESS
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Old 02-06-2018, 05:49 PM   #381
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POST-DATE PARTY

ARIE SAYS THAT THE ROSE TODAY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FIRST PART OF THE DATE BUT WITH THEIR CONNECTION SO UH

FIRST ONE IS TIA IDK THEY JUST KIND OF REHASH WHAT THEY SAID LAST WEEK

MOM IS CONCERNED ABOUT BEKAH BEING HER OPPOSITE

ARIE AND BEKAH HAVE A NORMAL HUMAN CONVERSATION

BEKAH IS CONFESSING HER INVESTMENT AND JEALOUSY

SEINNE AND HIM HAVE A NICE CONVERSATION BUT IT'S KIND OF INCONSEQUENTIAL

HE ENDS UP GIVING THE ROSE TO BEKAH, WHICH IS A SOLID CHOICE ALL AROUND

THIS SEASON SUCKS HARD BUT BEKAH MAKES IT MORE TOLERABLE I HAVE TO ADMIT

THE DANCE THEY DO IS ACTUALLY PRETTY CUTE

ARIE IS REALLY BAD AT IT BUT BEKAH IS TOTALLY INTO IT AND SUPER CUTE

ALL OF THE GIRLS ARE FORCED TO WATCH AND STEW ABOUT HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE WEAKER THAN BEKAH'S

AWWW SHE'S LIKE, SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS
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Old 02-06-2018, 05:59 PM   #382
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MAN IT WAS REFRESHING TO HAVE HALF AN EPISODE THAT WASN'T ABOUT KRYSTAL

TOO BAD THAT'S ABOUT TO END

BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR THE DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
TWO WOMEN ONE ROSE

ONE STAYS ONE GOES

KENDALL
KRYSTAL

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS


HERE WE GO BOYS

KENDALL LOOKS DEVESTATED

POOR GIRL

THEY'RE HAVING A DATE IN A FRENCH VILLA

ARIE CALLS A LUTE A UKELELE

KRYSTAL THINKS SHE'S HOT SHIT AND HAS THIS ON LOCK

KENDALL IS SADLY, HOWEVER, SUPER BORING

BUT SO IS ARIE SO IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER

THEY DO THIS MAZE TOGETHER AND LIKE, KENDALL IS CUTE AND FUN BUT KRYSTAL JUST KIND OF ACTS STOIC

THE GIRLS ON THE BOAT TALK ABOUT BEING CONCERNED ABOUT KENDALL

SIGH
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Old 02-06-2018, 06:13 PM   #383
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WELL IT'S TIME FOR THE PART THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS: THE THREE PERSON COCKTAIL PARTY

SIGH SORRY KENDALL THIS WAS A TOTAL SETUP TO CONVINCE ARIE TO KEEP THIS WOMAN AROUND

ARIE GIVES KRYSTAL AN OPPORTUNITY TO RATIONALIZE HER BAD BEHAVIOR TO HIM

THEY PLAY SAD MUSIC OVER KRYSTAL BULLSHITTING HIM

DON'T DO THAT DON'T TRY TO SOFTEN THIS HORRIBLE WOMAN

OH MY GOD SHE MANAGES TO TURN IT AROUND ON HIM BY SAYING THAT SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CAME TO TRUST HIM

WHAT THE FUCK

SHE STARTS ASKING ABOUT WHY KENDALL IS ON THIS DATE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

ARE YOU GASLIGHT SHITTALKING THE OTHER WOMAN ON THIS DATE????

WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING HER BEING ON THIS DATE

YOU JUST MANIPULATED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM WHY DID YOU DO THAT

LIKE OKAY FINE ON ONE HAND IT'S OBVIOUS YOU WERE TRYING TO MANIPULATE HIM INTO QUESTIONING THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT WHY WOULD YOU RISK YOUR STANCE BY SHITTALKING SOMEONE ELSE

AND YOU JUST GAVE HIM A PLATFORM TO START A CONVERSATION WITH HER ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

OH MY GOD I HATE YOU FOR BEING A RIDICULOUSLY MANIPULATIVE PERSON BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOOD AT BEING MANIPULATIVE

LMAO KENDALL CALLS HER OUT FOR THIS

KRYSTAL DEFLECTS BY MAKING IT ABOUT KENDALL AND THEN KENDALL JUST CALLS HER MANIPULATIVE

AND THEN LIKE, EMPATHIZES WITH HER

NO HONEY IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE THIS WOMAN

KRYSTAL IS LITERALLY STUNNED BY THIS SHOW OF EMPATHY

ARIE PUTS OFF MAKING A DECISION FOR DINNER

KRYSTAL IS FREAKING OUT BECAUSE SHE ONCE AGAIN OVERESTIMATES EVERYTHING
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Old 02-06-2018, 06:27 PM   #384
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KRYSTAL TAKES KENDALL'S GENUINE ATTEMPT AT SYMPATHY AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO BE HORRIBLE, SOMEHOW

WOW KENDALL CONTINUES TO TRY TO BE LIKE, A NICE PERSON, AND KRYSTAL JUST DEFLECTS ALL OF IT

POOR GIRL HER MESSIAH COMPLEX IS TOTALLY MISPLACED

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT EVEN BOTHER

KRYSTAL LIES TO ARIE ABOUT WHAT HER AND KENDALL WERE TALKING ABOUT

AND IS JUST, REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS

AND THEN LIES ABOUT KENDALL AND HER BEING IN AGREEMENT ABOUT ANYTHING

THE LADIES DISCUSS THE POSSIBLE OUTCOMES

EVERYONE'S PUTTING THEIR MONEY ON KRYSTAL, EXCEPT BEKAH, THE THINKING PERSON'S BACHELOR CONTESTANT

SO ARIE PULLS OFF KENDALL BUT LEAVES KRYSTAL TO FESTER

INTERESTING

ANYWAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH GIVE OUT THE ROSE PLEASE

Spoiler: show
OH THANK GOD

GET FUCKED KRYSTAL

SHE SOBS TO THE CAMERA



WELL THAT WAS PRETTY ANTICLIMACTIC, ESPECIALLY AFTER TWO EPISODES
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Old 02-06-2018, 06:36 PM   #385
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OH SO AFTER ALL THAT SHIT JACQUELINE IS HAVING HER ONE-ON-ONE

THEIR CAR BREAKS DOWN LMAO

THEY GO SHOPPING AND SOMEHOW JACQUELINE HATES SHOPPING

THEY HAVE A NICE, UM, DINNER I THINK IN A NEAT RESTAURANT

JACQUELINE DUMPS HER INSECURITIES IMMEDIATELY

ARIE THOUGHT SHE WAS SUPER INTELLIGENT

SHE IS APPARENTLY CONSIDERING A PHD BUT NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW THAT SINCE THIS IS BASICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THIS GIRL ALL SEASON

BECAUSE AGAIN, ARIE IS BAD AT THE BACHELOR AND IS USING ONE-ON-ONES AS LATE-GAME WEEDERS

MAN THIS JUST TURNED INTO AN INSECURITIES FEST LIKE RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE

WELL I GUESS SHE'S GOING HOME

ON SOME LEVEL THIS GIRL WAS DOOMED FROM THE START

OH, WELL, I GUESS I'M WRONG

BUT STILL THIS GIRL IS PRETTY DOOMED I DOUBT SHE'S GONNA MAKE TOP 4

UGH ARIE NO YOU DON'T KEEP AROUND THE GIRLS WITH UNCERTAIN FUTURES THIS LATE GOD

HOW ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS
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Old 02-06-2018, 06:47 PM   #386
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WELL COCKTAIL PARTY TIME

OR UH

ROSE CEREMONY

WELL OKAY WHATEVER

BEKAH, JACQUELINE AND KENDALL ARE SAFE, ONLY THREE ON THE TABLE

Spoiler: show
TIA
SEINNE

FINAL ROSE
Spoiler: show
BECCA

WELL SHE'S RIDING ON THE FIRST DATE HIGH STILL I GUESS PRETTY GOOD FOR THIS LATE IN THE GAME


WELL WHAT DO WE DO IN A POST-KRYSTAL WORLD

NEXT WEEK IS TUSCANY

IN THE MEANTIME, THE LAST LAUREN STANDING FREAKS OUT ABOUT HER CHANCES

WELL LADIES WE'RE DOWN TO SIX

WEEK AFTER NEXT IS THE DREADED HOMETOWNS

MAKE YOUR PREDICTIONS ON THE FINAL FOUR AND THE LAST TWO

ALSO A WEIRD OVERHYPED PROMO FOR THE LAST FEW EPISODES

CREDITS SCENE IS SOME BORING SCENE FROM KENDALL'S POST-DATE TIME THE MUSIC IS NICE AT LEAST
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Old 02-06-2018, 06:55 PM   #387
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I DO WANT TO NOTE FOR THE RECORD THAT ALTHOUGH THAT EPISODE WAS CONSIDERABLY MORE TOLERABLE THAT THIS SEASON CONTINUES TO SUCK PRETTY HARD CONSIDERING WE HAVE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET AN INCOMPETENT BACHELOR

DESPITE THE FACT THAT TO BE THE BACHELOR YOU LITERALLY JUST HAVE TO LIKE, GET TO KNOW LIKE SIX PEOPLE ON A SLIGHTLY MORE THAN SUPERFICIAL LEVEL

BUT OF COURSE ARIE IS TOO BUSY SUCKING THEIR FACES OFF TO EVEN DO THAT SO I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED

SO DON'T EXPECT MUCH FROM THE REST OF THIS

NOT THAT ANY OF YOU WERE TO BEGIN WITH
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:02 PM   #388
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WE HAVE MADE IT, BRAVE HEROES, TO A NEW ERA

KRYSTAL, THE EVIL BWITCH HAS BEEN SLAIN

THE KINGDOM IS ONCE AGAIN FREE FROM HER TYRANNY

NOW WE GOTTA SORT OUT THE REST OF THIS MESS

GIRD YOUR LOINS, BROTHERS AND SISTERS
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:06 PM   #389
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THIS WEEK, ITALY

EVERYONE IS BAD AT ITALIAN

GIRLS WORRY ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS BECAUSE THEY'VE STARTED TOO LATE

BECAUSE, AGAIN, ARIE IS BAD AT THE BACHELOR

SOMEHOW

ALL SORTS OF SOBBING

IDK MAYBE THIS WILL BE INTERESTING IT WILL BE HARD TO COMPENSATE FOR SENDING THE FOCUS OF THE SHOW HOME ANTICLIMACTICALLY
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:15 PM   #390
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SOME OF THE GIRLS DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE

THEY'RE IN FRONT OF THE LEANING TOWER

CHRIS HARRISON SHOWS UP TO STRESS PEOPLE OUT ABOUT HOMETOWNS

NO ROSE CEREMONY THIS WEEK, JUST DATE ROSES

ACTUALLY THIS IS A GOOD CHANGE I SUPPORT THIS

THEY HAVE A PRETTY NORMALASS HOTEL THIS WEEK

JACQUELINE DEMONSTRATES WHY SHE DOESN'T NEED TO BE HERE

DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
BECCA

LET'S FALL IN LOVE UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN


TIME TO SHOW WHY YOU'RE STILL HERE DEAR

SHE'S SO DAMN BORING THOUGH GOD

THEY'RE GOING TO SOME SMALL TOWN

ARIE TALKS ABOUT HOW THEY HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP

WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK YOU IGNORED HER FOR A SOLID TWO MONTHS

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHY THIS IS GOING POORLY YET YOU JUST KIND OF IGNORE WOMEN

THEY HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE STATE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP THAT THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD LIKE A MONTH AGO

THEY DON'T EVEN GET TO LIKE, KNOW EACH OTHER

ARIE JUST SUCKS HER FACE OFF

YES ARIE THAT PASSION WAS FLEETING, BECAUSE YOU IGNORED HER

ALSO WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

YOU BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER

GOD UGH
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:22 PM   #391
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JACQUELINE HAS NORMAL HUMAN EMOTIONS ABOUT MORE OR LESS BEING ON THIS SHOW AND BEING TOTALLY IGNORED BUT BEING STILL HERE

AND ALSO JUST LIKE, THE WHOLE CONTRIVED NOTION OF BEING READY TO COMMIT TO MARRIAGE AFTER TWO MONTHS OF VYING FOR THE ATTENTION OF A SINGLE MAN

BECCA TALKS ABOUT HER HOMETOWNS AND HOW SHE'S NEVER REALLY BROUGHT SOMEONE HOME

ARIE'S REACTION TO THEM TALKING ABOUT THIS IS TO MAKE OUT

NOT LIKE, EXPLORE THE LOGISTICS OF THIS OR THE DYNAMICS OF HER FAMILY

WELL SOMEHOW THIS BORINGASS WOMAN THAT HE BARELY KNOWS IS GETTING A ROSE

IDK WHATEVER THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT ULTIMATELY SO

BECCA IS SO BORING AND HAS NO RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM SO
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:25 PM   #392
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OH ANOTHER DATE CARD I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE COMMERCIAL BREAK

Spoiler: show
LAST LAUREN STANDING

LET'S BREAK DOWN OUR WALLS


BEKAH IS MAD THAT SHE GETS ANOTHER FULL DATE, WHICH IS PRETTY LEGIT

BUT AFTER SHE HAD A BREAKDOWN AFTER THE LAST ROSE CEREMONY I THINK THE PRODUCERS MADE HIM DO IT

JACQUELINE IS STRUGGLING WITH ALL OF THIS

SHE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST SEND HERSELF HOME TBH

WELL SHES GOING TO TALK TO ARIE WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES

(HINT: IT GOES POORLY)
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:38 PM   #393
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JACQUELINE TRIES TO TALK HER WAY INTO GETTING SENT HOME

ARIE TRIES TO DEFEND HIM BEING BAD AT THIS TO KEEP HER HERE, FOR WHATEVER REASON

THEY HAVE THIS EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION WHERE SHE CONSIDERS LEAVING AND IT ENDS IN MAKING OUT

GOD SHE HAS ALL OF THESE RATIONAL CONCERNS BUT ARIE JUST KIND OF SPINS HER IN A CIRCLE TO DEFLECT ALL OF HER PERFECTLY REASONABLE DOUBTS

HE'S NOT EVEN THAT CHARMING OR ATTRACTIVE WHY DO YOU LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU

THIS WHOLE SCENE ENDS INCONCLUSIVELY AND JACQUELINE IS CLEARLY FRUSTRATED AND WORSE OFF

POOR GIRL YOU JUST NEED TO GO HOME

OH GOOD SHE'S LEAVING THANK GOD

GOOD FOR YOU

GO HOME GIRL
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:47 PM   #394
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TIME FOR THE LAST LAUREN STANDING

LET'S SEE IF SHE STILL STANDS AFTER THIS

(SHE PROBABLY WILL - SHE'S SUPER BORING)

THEY HAVE PRETTY MUCH THE SAME DATE HE HAD WITH BECCA, BUT WITH LIKE, BIKES

AND LIKE GELATO AND A TOWER

HE LITERALLY HAS ALL THE SAME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HIS SHAKY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LAST LAUREN STANDING THAT HE DOES ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH BECCA

THEY HAVE THE SAME CONVERSATION ABOUT HOMETOWNS, WHICH, TO BE FAIR,
IS TYPICAL AT THIS POINT

BUT ALSO LIKE, THEY HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT ANYTHING SUBSTANTIVE

SECOND VERSE SAME AS THE FIRST
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:00 PM   #395
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HERE'S ANOTHER DATE CARD

Spoiler: show
SIENNE

I'M SEARCHING FOR THE ONE


WELL SHE'S INTERESTING AND HAS LIKE, SORT OF A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM

AND AFTER BEKAH IS THE ONE THAT MAKES HIM THE MOST NORMAL

SO WE'LL SEE

ANYWAY THE LAST LAUREN STANDING IS STILL STANDING

BIG ROUNDABOUT SPEECH FOR HER TO SAY SHE'S FALLING IN LOVE

ARIE IS... AWKWARDLY SILENT

AND LEAVES

UM

THIS IS AWKWARD AS SHIT WHY DID HE DO THAT

HE JUST KIND OF COMES BACK AND GIVES HER THE ROSE ANYWAY

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:08 PM   #396
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SIENNE AND ARIE GO FIND TRUFFLES

DO THEY HAVE A PIG?

OH IT'S A DOG

I'LL TAKE IT

FUN JERI FACT: I HATE TRUFFLES

THE TRUFFLE HUNTER INVITES THEM BACK TO HIS HOUSE FOR LUNCH

I AM LEGIT JEALOUS OF THIS NGL

THEY DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN AND THE FAMILY BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH

HEY SIENNE ACTUALLY DOES KNOW A BIT OF ITALIAN GOOD FOR HER

THEY MAKE PASTA AND STUFF IDK

THE WOMEN ASK ARIE ABOUT LOVE AND HE GIVES THE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED ANSWER

THEY'RE HAVING A UH, TRADITIONAL ITALIAN LUNCH

...WHICH IS PIZZA AND PASTA

DUMB AMERICANS

WELL THAT WAS A FUN LITTLE FAKE ITALIAN PLAY FOR AMERICAN TELEVISION LET'S MOVE ON
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:22 PM   #397
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THEY HAVE DINNER IN LIKE, THE MIDDLE OF A PIAZZA, WHICH IS P GREAT

SIENNE CLAIMS TO HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH ARIE THAT THEY HAVE DEVELOPED WHICH LIKE, OKAY, IS MORE BELIEVABLE THAN OTHER WOMEN BUT

HIS TRACK RECORD SO FAR DOES NOT HAVE ME VERY CONFIDENT

THE WOMEN CONVERSE ABOUT HOW IT WOULD BE BETTER IF SIENNE LEAVES BECAUSE THE LAST GROUP DATE IS NOW BASICALLY A THREE-ON-ONE

Spoiler: show
BEKAH
TIA
KENDALL

MEET ME AT VILLA REAL


WOW UM

ARIE IS SENDING THIS WOMAN HOME

YOU HAD ZERO CONNECTION WITH THE LAST TWO WOMEN

AND YOU SENT THEM TO HOMETOWNS

AND YOU ARE SENDING THIS WOMAN HOME????????????????



THAT MEANS AN EXTRA ROSE TOMORROW BUT APPARENTLY TIA IS NOW ON THE WARPATH WHICH MEANS ATTACKING BEKAH
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:34 PM   #398
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WELL TIME FOR THE SHITTIEST DATE IN BACHELOR HISTORY - THE FIRST THREE-ON-ONE

THIS SEASON IS PRETTY MUCH A FLAMING GARBAGE TRUCK ACCIDENT

KENDALL IS NERVOUS BECAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S THE WEAKEST RELATIONSHIP WISE BUT ALSO CONFIDENT BECAUSE THEY HAVE HAD A GOOD CONNECTION OR SOMETHING IDK

APPARENTLY MAKEOUTS COUNT AS CONNECTIONS

TIA IS FISHING FOR A WAY TO UNDERCUT BEKAH

AND SHE'S GONNA GO TATTLE ON HER HOOOO BOY

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WASTE YOUR TIME SHITTING ON OTHER GIRLS WHEN YOU COULD BE WORKING ON YOUR OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY

AND THEN SHE COMES BACK AND STARTS TO QUIZ BEKAH ABOUT BEING READY FOR MARRIAGE

LIKE, TIA TRIES TO FRAME IT AS LOOKING OUT FOR ARIE BUT LIKE THERE IS NO WAY SHE DOESN'T HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES

POOR BEKAH STARTS TO CRY

TIA TRIES TO BE LIKE, SENSITIVE AFTER THE FACT

LIKE, YEAH, OKAY, BEKAH IS YOUNG BUT SHE'S NOT FUCKING STUPID

LIKE, SHE KNOWS WHAT THE END OF THIS IS

AND LIKE, OKAY, SURE, SHE MIGHT NOT BE READY FOR MARRIAGE BUT YA'LL ARE KIDDING YOURSELVES IF YOU THINK THIS WILL ACTUALLY END IN A WEDDING

AND OKAY SURE SHE'S YOUNG AND MIGHT NOT BE READY

BUT DON'T TREAT HER LIKE A FUCKING CHILD GOD DAMN
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:41 PM   #399
Jerichi
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POOR BECCA SOBS TO ARIE BECAUSE TIA JUST KIND OF SHIT ALL OVER HER

THIS TURNS INTO A SWEET MOMENT, ACTUALLY BUT LIKE

BEKAH IS BEING HONEST WITH HIM BUT I THINK THAT ARIE IS LIKE, PICKING THIS APART

AND ON ONE HAND I DON'T BLAME HIM BUT LIKE, TIMING DUDE

BEKAH'S PARENTS APPARENTLY TOLD HER THAT THIS WAS STUPID AND SHE SHOULDN'T DO IT, BECAUSE IT IS, AND SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE

AFTER ALL THAT BEKAH IS OPTIMISTIC

ARIE CHARACTERIZES THIS SHITSHOW OF A DATE AS FANTASTIC

ROSE ONE

KENDALL, FOR SOME REASON

I THINK THAT THE PRODUCERS MADE HIM PICK HER FIRST BECAUSE THEY CAN EXPLOIT THIS WEIRD TENSION THAT TIA MANUFACTURED BETWEEN HERSELF AND BEKAH

WOW OKAY I GUESS THAT MEANS THIS IS A TWO-ON-ONE NOW

AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS COULD GET ANY SHITTIER
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Old 02-13-2018, 07:53 PM   #400
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TIME FOR A GENUINELY SHITTY TWO ON ONE, AFTER ALREADY HAVING HAD ONE GENUINELY SHITTY TWO ON ONE LAST WEEK
THIS SEASON IS GREAT

HE HAS A BORING TIME WITH TIA BLAH WHATEVER

TIA KEEPS HARPING ON BEKAH'S INEXPERIENCE AND IS CLEARLY JUST INCREDIBLY INTIMIDATED

BEKAH AND ARIE HAVE A REAL CONVERSATION AGAIN WOW THEY'RE LIKE, ACTUAL PEOPLE

BUT ARIE IS JUST KIND OF SHOWING HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT HE IS

MAN THOUGH THERE ARE SOME KINDA CLEAR CRACKS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP

SIGH

WELL HERE WE GO

Spoiler: show
TIA

SIGH

ARIE KEEPS REWARDING WOMEN FOR BAD BEHAVIOR

I MEAN BEKAH WAS DOOMED FROM THE START BUT I AT LEAST WANTED TO SEE HER GO TO HOMETOWN

I PRETTY MUCH HATE THE REST OF THE WOMEN NOW

SIENNE AND BEKAH WERE THE ONLY GOOD ONES LEFT

IF HOMETOWNS WEREN'T SO JUICY I'D PROBABLY JUST STOP HERE BECAUSE LIKE, FUCK, NONE OF THE REMAINING WOMEN ARE EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTING

AND TIA, WHO I KINDA LIKED, JUST SORTA HEELTURNED AT THE LAST MINUTE

UGH I REALLY LIKE BEKAH AND UNIRONICALLY FOLLOW HER ON INSTAGRAM BUT THIS REALLY WAS FATED TO FAIL FROM THE BEGINNING

...OH GOD RIGHT ONE OF THESE GIRLS IS THE TAXIDERMIST

CREDITS SCENE: AN OLD ITALIAN MAN FLIRTS WITH BECCA
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