E3 2021: WHY ARE WE STILL HERE JUST TO SUFFER

Blastoise · 06-11-2021, 04:10 AM

I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE I HAVE TO GO YELL AT MY INTERNET PROVIDER ON SATURDAY SO I WILL AT MINIMUM MISS ALL OF THE GREAT SHOWS SUCH AS

*CHECKS E3 SCHEDULE*

OH OKAY THEN

AND ALSO THERE'S SOME SHIT FRIDAY/TODAY INCLUDING SOMETHING CALLED "KOCH PRIMETIME"* BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A BLEAK LAND FORSAKEN BY GOD

YEAH THIS IS A MUCH MORE PESSIMISTIC OPENING THAN IS USUAL EVEN FOR THESE THREADS BUT LET'S BE HONEST THERE ARE A CONFLUENCE OF SEVERAL FACTORS THAT MAKE GAMING SUCK DICK RIGHT NOW:

THE XBOX MINIFRIDGE AND PS5 GOT RELEASED, AND AS NEW CONSOLES HAVE MAYBE TWO GAMES WORTH PLAYING BETWEEN THEM
IF YOU CAN EVEN FIND THEM IN STOCK, BECAUSE
WE BUILT A WORLD ON JUST-IN-TIME MANUFACTURING WITH NO LEEWAY FOR UNPREDICTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES (LIKE, SAY, A WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC) AND NOW NOBODY CAN GET CHIPS FOR THEIR CARS, GAMING CONSOLES OR INTERNET OF THINGS LIGHTBULBS WITH HARDCODED PASSWORDS THAT WILL BE INEVITABLY HACKED AND USED AS A BOTNET
EVERYBODY IN CHARGE IS LOOKING AT THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS AND SAYING "WOW THIS IS BAD, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING SO THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN" (THEY WON'T)
"BUT CHOZO I AM NOT A CONSOLE PEASANT I AM A PC MASTER THIS JOKE IS OLD AND TIRED" WELL FUCK YOU CHUCKLES BECAUSE THAT SILICON SHORTAGE ALSO AFFECTS GRAPHICS CARDS
AND ANY CARDS NOT BEING SNAPPED UP BY SOME SCALPER WHO WILL LAUNDER THE PROCEEDS TO THE TALIBAN THROUGH A HAWALA IS PROBABLY USING IT IN A CRYPTO MINING FIRETRAP TO GET THEIR FUNNY INTERNET DOG MEME MONEY THAT IS TOTALLY LEGIT AND WILL BRING THE FALSE GODS OF FIAT AND CENTRAL BANKING TO THEIR KNEES DOES THIS MAKE YOU ANGRY DAD
AND ALL THIS MASSIVE ENVIRONMENTAL WASTE (AND DENYING ME THE ABILITY TO EASILY PURCHASE A 3080) IS IN SERVICE OF A CLOWN CAR FINANCIAL INSTRUMENT BUILT ON AN EVEN BIGGER FOUNDATION OF BULLSHIT THAN THE EXISTING FINANCIAL SYSTEM, BECAUSE THE CRYPTO SPACE IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS AND PEOPLE DEEPLY INVESTED IN NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW IT WORKS
KIRYU COCO IS GRADUATING FROM HOLOLIVE AND IF I CAN'T WATCH RANDOM CLIPS OF AN ANIME DRAGON GIRL SAYING SWEARS LIFE IS NO LONGER WORTH LIVING

EUROGAMER HAS THE FULL SCHEDULE IN A NICE FORMAT WHICH I DON'T FEEL LIKE COPYING AND REFORMATTING SO LOOK AT THAT

SATURDAY

DEVOLVER DIGITAL (ASSUMING THEY CAN KEEP THE JOKE FRESH AFTER A COUPLE YEARS) WILL PROBABLY BE THE ONLY THING WORTH WATCHING BECAUSE LIKE EVERY JADED MILLENNIAL THEY REALIZE E3 IS AN ANACHRONISM THAT LIKE SHIRLEY JACKSON'S THE LOTTERY SURVIVES ONLY BECAUSE PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT WITHOUT EVER ASKING THEMSELVES WHY**

UBISOFT IS GOING TO DO DUMB UBISOFT SHIT AND THEN SPEND THE WEEK AFTER THE CONFERENCE EXPLAINING THAT THEIR NEW GAME WHERE YOU MOW DOWN BLM PROTESTORS AS AN ARMED AGENT OF THE STATE IS NOT ACTUALLY POLITICAL HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
MONSTER TRUCKS AT THE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS
A CHILD WILL DIE EVERY TWELVE MINUTES
YOU'LL PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE

MICROSOFT BOUGHT BETHESDA, SO LOOK FORWARD TO SOME MORE 30 SECOND PRERENDERED TRAILERS OF A GENERIC LANDSCAPE WITH "ELDER SCROLLS VI" OVER THEM

I MEAN WHAT ELSE IS MICROSOFT GONNA DO SHOW HALO INFINITE

*PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER*

ALSO LOOK FORWARD TO DOWNLOADING FAN PATCHES FOR WHATEVER OPEN WORLD BUG-FIESTA BETHESDA EVENTUALLY SHITS OUT BECAUSE HAVING INFINITE MONEY STILL WON'T MOTIVATE BETHESDA TO FIX THE SAME EXACT BUGS THAT HAVE POPPED UP IN THREE GAMES IN A FUCKING ROW

ALSO ON SUNDAY IS SQUARE ENIX WHO I LEGALLY CANNOT MAKE FUN OF ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY DELIVERED WITH THE FFVII REMAKE AND NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO MAKING FUN OF DUKE NUKEM FOREVER LIKE A FUCKING BOOMER

MONDAY

CAPCOM WILL TRY TO PROVE TO ME THAT THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF MH:RISE PROGRESSION AND BALANCE DID NOT HAVE RAIL SPIKES REMOVED FROM THEIR BRAINS

THEY WILL LIKELY FAIL

HOW DID YOU GUYS MAKE AN ENDGAME THAT MAKES ME LOOK BACK AT FARMING FOR ATTACK DECOS IN WORLD FONDLY

HOW

IT'S CHEWSDAY, INNIT

NINTENDO MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELEASING AN UPDATED SWITCH, BUT SINCE EVERYTHING IS FUCKED (SEE ABOVE) WHO KNOWS

WE'LL LIKELY GET SOME MORE INFO ON THE D/P REMAKE AND MAYBE ALSO THE ONE WHERE YOU PLAY YOUR SINNOH ANCESTOR WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU PROVING THAT THE DENIZENS OF SINNOH REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY LIKE STARFISH (PROBABLY)

SONY AND EA

ARE BOTH COWARDS WITHOUT HONOR

HORIZON: ZERO DAWN WAS MY "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD" GAME OF THE LAST GEN AND THE SEQUEL LOOKS PRETTY NEAT THOUGH

THERE YOU HAVE IT GOD WILLING I WILL SEE ALL YOU CHICKEN CHOKERS ON SUNDAY MORNING FOR THE MICROSOFT CONFERENCE, THE REAL GAMERS' (TM) CHURCH SERVICE

*

Spoiler: show

**

Spoiler: show

Doppleganger · 06-11-2021, 05:11 AM

Wait, video games still exist? How is that possible?

And you joke about lightbulbs, but people unironically suggested that I decorate my house using iPad wallpaper in lieu of actual wallpaper, because it's "21st century".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoise

THEY REALIZE E3 IS AN ANACHRONISM

True enlightenment is realizing it isn't, it's been hijacked to become a damage control/shill machine pulpit just like how San Diego Comic Con is basically an out-of-quarter Disney investor call.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoise

DENIZENS OF SINNOH REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY LIKE STARFISH (PROBABLY)

Asexual reproduction doesn't explain why my sub 31 IVs get lower every generation. brb, going to discuss this with my daughterwives Dawn and Pearl.

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:04 PM

FUCK IT I'M AWAKE MIGHT AS WELL DO UBISOFT'S FRENCH SEX PEST PRESENTATION

https://www.twitch.tv/e3

RIGHT NOW THERE'S SOME ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SHIT WITH A TOM CLANCY LABEL ON IT

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:05 PM

"NOW I KNOW YOU MUST HAVE A TON OF QUESTIONS"

NO ACTUALLY I DON'T

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:06 PM

"HERE WITH ME IN MONTREAL WE HAVE ONE OF THE THREE MEMBERS OF UBISOFT'S SENIOR MANAGEMENT WHO WEREN'T ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:07 PM

"THE SEX PESTS HAVE SPREAD TO THREE NEW OFFICES"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:09 PM

"LET'S TAKE AN EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK AT SOME CONTRIVED GAMEPLAY GAMER TALK"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:15 PM

"STEALTH IS PARMOUNT"

"ALSO HERE'S A MISSION WHERE YOU HAVE TO KILL A TON OF SHIT LIKE YOU'RE IN WARFRAME"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:17 PM

HAVING TO RETRIEVE CHARACTERS DOWNED IN A MISSION WILL BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS PATCHED OUT, I GUARANTEE IT

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:18 PM

"NOW THAT IT'S BEEN SEVERAL YEARS SINCE WE COLLECTIVELY SMOTHERED THE PLASTIC GUITAR GENRE UNDER A PILLOW WE'RE GIVING IT ANOTHER GO"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:18 PM

"THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH ANNOYING ASSSHOLES RANDOMLY BRINGING THEIR GUITARS TO PARTIES SO WE DECIDED TO FIX THAT"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:19 PM

IT'S A SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE, WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:21 PM

IS THERE A LOT OF DEMAND FOR GUITAR CHORD CHARTS FOR HIP HOP BACKING TRACKS

BECAUSE UUUUUUUUHHHHHHH

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:22 PM

GONNA MASTER THE GUITAR BY REPEATEDLY PLAYING THE SAME THREE NOTES IN A LIL JON SONG

DRAGONFORCE AIN'T SHIT

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:23 PM

WHY DOES THIS SPORTS GAME LOOK LIKE A CHINESE KNOCKOFF OF FORTNITE

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:24 PM

EVEN IN A FUCKING SPORTS GAME UBISOFT CAN'T HELP HAVING YOU CAPTURE FORTS AND DISTRICTS

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:26 PM

AND IT'S AN OPEN WORLD GAME TO BOOT

FOCUSED DESIGN? IN MY UBISOFT GAME?

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:27 PM

MY RADICAL PREDICTION IS THAT A GAME WITH 20+ DIFFERENT SPORTS WILL BE EXTREMELY FORGETTABLE EVEN WITH ITS "HIP TO THE KIDS" AESTHETIC BECAUSE IT WILL DO NONE OF THEM INTERESTING OR WELL

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:29 PM

MY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ON RAINBOW SIX SIEGE IS THAT IT'S FUCKING WEIRD WHEN I SEE SHISHIRO BOTAN PLAYING IT

PRETTY SURE A JAPANESE WOMAN PLAYING AN UBISOFT TEAM BASED SHOOTER LEGALLY QUALIFIES AS A CRYPTID

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:30 PM

I SHOULD GIVE UBISOFT KUDOS FOR ENABLING CROSSPLAY SO THAT THE LAST THREE PEOPLE ON STADIA AREN'T SO LONELY

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:33 PM

OF COURSE UBISOFT HAS A KNOCKOFF SMASH BROTHERS

WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:34 PM

REMEMBER THE GENERIC WHITE GUYS FROM THE FIRST WATCH DOGS

YOU CAN PLAY THEM IN THE NEW ISIS GRANDMA WATCH DOGS

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY BUT I GUESS IT'S AN OPTION IN THE WAY GETTING AN ENEMA FROM A FIREHOSE IS

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:36 PM

JUST DANCE PRESENTATION WITHOUT A DANCING PANDA

HOW CAN UBISOFT MISUNDERSTAND THEIR OWN GAMES THIS BADLY

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:39 PM

"WE FOUND OUR NEXT EZIO AND YOU CAN BET WE'RE GOING TO RUN THAT SHIT INTO THE GROUND"

Blastoise · 06-12-2021, 02:39 PM

IS IT A GOOD THING WHEN "WE'LL ACTUALLY FIX BUGS" IS A MAJOR BULLET POINT IN YOUR E3 PRESENTATION

06-11-2021, 04:10 AM	#1
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	E3 2021: WHY ARE WE STILL HERE JUST TO SUFFER I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE I HAVE TO GO YELL AT MY INTERNET PROVIDER ON SATURDAY SO I WILL AT MINIMUM MISS ALL OF THE GREAT SHOWS SUCH AS CHECKS E3 SCHEDULE OH OKAY THEN AND ALSO THERE'S SOME SHIT FRIDAY/TODAY INCLUDING SOMETHING CALLED "KOCH PRIMETIME"* BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A BLEAK LAND FORSAKEN BY GOD YEAH THIS IS A MUCH MORE PESSIMISTIC OPENING THAN IS USUAL EVEN FOR THESE THREADS BUT LET'S BE HONEST THERE ARE A CONFLUENCE OF SEVERAL FACTORS THAT MAKE GAMING SUCK DICK RIGHT NOW: THE XBOX MINIFRIDGE AND PS5 GOT RELEASED, AND AS NEW CONSOLES HAVE MAYBE TWO GAMES WORTH PLAYING BETWEEN THEM IF YOU CAN EVEN FIND THEM IN STOCK, BECAUSE WE BUILT A WORLD ON JUST-IN-TIME MANUFACTURING WITH NO LEEWAY FOR UNPREDICTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES (LIKE, SAY, A WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC) AND NOW NOBODY CAN GET CHIPS FOR THEIR CARS, GAMING CONSOLES OR INTERNET OF THINGS LIGHTBULBS WITH HARDCODED PASSWORDS THAT WILL BE INEVITABLY HACKED AND USED AS A BOTNET EVERYBODY IN CHARGE IS LOOKING AT THIS STATE OF AFFAIRS AND SAYING "WOW THIS IS BAD, MAYBE WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING SO THIS DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN" (THEY WON'T) "BUT CHOZO I AM NOT A CONSOLE PEASANT I AM A PC MASTER THIS JOKE IS OLD AND TIRED" WELL FUCK YOU CHUCKLES BECAUSE THAT SILICON SHORTAGE ALSO AFFECTS GRAPHICS CARDS AND ANY CARDS NOT BEING SNAPPED UP BY SOME SCALPER WHO WILL LAUNDER THE PROCEEDS TO THE TALIBAN THROUGH A HAWALA IS PROBABLY USING IT IN A CRYPTO MINING FIRETRAP TO GET THEIR FUNNY INTERNET DOG MEME MONEY THAT IS TOTALLY LEGIT AND WILL BRING THE FALSE GODS OF FIAT AND CENTRAL BANKING TO THEIR KNEES DOES THIS MAKE YOU ANGRY DAD AND ALL THIS MASSIVE ENVIRONMENTAL WASTE (AND DENYING ME THE ABILITY TO EASILY PURCHASE A 3080) IS IN SERVICE OF A CLOWN CAR FINANCIAL INSTRUMENT BUILT ON AN EVEN BIGGER FOUNDATION OF BULLSHIT THAN THE EXISTING FINANCIAL SYSTEM, BECAUSE THE CRYPTO SPACE IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE TOO STUPID TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT WORKS AND PEOPLE DEEPLY INVESTED IN NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW IT WORKS KIRYU COCO IS GRADUATING FROM HOLOLIVE AND IF I CAN'T WATCH RANDOM CLIPS OF AN ANIME DRAGON GIRL SAYING SWEARS LIFE IS NO LONGER WORTH LIVING EUROGAMER HAS THE FULL SCHEDULE IN A NICE FORMAT WHICH I DON'T FEEL LIKE COPYING AND REFORMATTING SO LOOK AT THAT SATURDAY DEVOLVER DIGITAL (ASSUMING THEY CAN KEEP THE JOKE FRESH AFTER A COUPLE YEARS) WILL PROBABLY BE THE ONLY THING WORTH WATCHING BECAUSE LIKE EVERY JADED MILLENNIAL THEY REALIZE E3 IS AN ANACHRONISM THAT LIKE SHIRLEY JACKSON'S THE LOTTERY SURVIVES ONLY BECAUSE PEOPLE BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT WITHOUT EVER ASKING THEMSELVES WHY** UBISOFT IS GOING TO DO DUMB UBISOFT SHIT AND THEN SPEND THE WEEK AFTER THE CONFERENCE EXPLAINING THAT THEIR NEW GAME WHERE YOU MOW DOWN BLM PROTESTORS AS AN ARMED AGENT OF THE STATE IS NOT ACTUALLY POLITICAL HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY MONSTER TRUCKS AT THE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS A CHILD WILL DIE EVERY TWELVE MINUTES YOU'LL PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE MICROSOFT BOUGHT BETHESDA, SO LOOK FORWARD TO SOME MORE 30 SECOND PRERENDERED TRAILERS OF A GENERIC LANDSCAPE WITH "ELDER SCROLLS VI" OVER THEM I MEAN WHAT ELSE IS MICROSOFT GONNA DO SHOW HALO INFINITE PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER ALSO LOOK FORWARD TO DOWNLOADING FAN PATCHES FOR WHATEVER OPEN WORLD BUG-FIESTA BETHESDA EVENTUALLY SHITS OUT BECAUSE HAVING INFINITE MONEY STILL WON'T MOTIVATE BETHESDA TO FIX THE SAME EXACT BUGS THAT HAVE POPPED UP IN THREE GAMES IN A FUCKING ROW ALSO ON SUNDAY IS SQUARE ENIX WHO I LEGALLY CANNOT MAKE FUN OF ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY DELIVERED WITH THE FFVII REMAKE AND NOW I HAVE TO GO BACK TO MAKING FUN OF DUKE NUKEM FOREVER LIKE A FUCKING BOOMER MONDAY CAPCOM WILL TRY TO PROVE TO ME THAT THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF MH:RISE PROGRESSION AND BALANCE DID NOT HAVE RAIL SPIKES REMOVED FROM THEIR BRAINS THEY WILL LIKELY FAIL HOW DID YOU GUYS MAKE AN ENDGAME THAT MAKES ME LOOK BACK AT FARMING FOR ATTACK DECOS IN WORLD FONDLY HOW IT'S CHEWSDAY, INNIT NINTENDO MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELEASING AN UPDATED SWITCH, BUT SINCE EVERYTHING IS FUCKED (SEE ABOVE) WHO KNOWS WE'LL LIKELY GET SOME MORE INFO ON THE D/P REMAKE AND MAYBE ALSO THE ONE WHERE YOU PLAY YOUR SINNOH ANCESTOR WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU PROVING THAT THE DENIZENS OF SINNOH REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY LIKE STARFISH (PROBABLY) SONY AND EA ARE BOTH COWARDS WITHOUT HONOR HORIZON: ZERO DAWN WAS MY "WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ACTUALLY GOOD" GAME OF THE LAST GEN AND THE SEQUEL LOOKS PRETTY NEAT THOUGH THERE YOU HAVE IT GOD WILLING I WILL SEE ALL YOU CHICKEN CHOKERS ON SUNDAY MORNING FOR THE MICROSOFT CONFERENCE, THE REAL GAMERS' (TM) CHURCH SERVICE * Spoiler: show APPARENTLY NOT THOSE KOCHS BUT STILL Spoiler:** show IF PHIL SPENCER IS STONED TO DEATH LIVE ON STREAM I WILL REVISE MY OPINION __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:04 PM	#3
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	FUCK IT I'M AWAKE MIGHT AS WELL DO UBISOFT'S FRENCH SEX PEST PRESENTATION https://www.twitch.tv/e3 RIGHT NOW THERE'S SOME ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SHIT WITH A TOM CLANCY LABEL ON IT __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:05 PM	#4
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"NOW I KNOW YOU MUST HAVE A TON OF QUESTIONS" NO ACTUALLY I DON'T __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:06 PM	#5
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"HERE WITH ME IN MONTREAL WE HAVE ONE OF THE THREE MEMBERS OF UBISOFT'S SENIOR MANAGEMENT WHO WEREN'T ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:07 PM	#6
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"THE SEX PESTS HAVE SPREAD TO THREE NEW OFFICES" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:09 PM	#7
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"LET'S TAKE AN EXCLUSIVE FIRST LOOK AT SOME CONTRIVED GAMEPLAY GAMER TALK" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:15 PM	#8
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"STEALTH IS PARMOUNT" "ALSO HERE'S A MISSION WHERE YOU HAVE TO KILL A TON OF SHIT LIKE YOU'RE IN WARFRAME" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:17 PM	#9
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	HAVING TO RETRIEVE CHARACTERS DOWNED IN A MISSION WILL BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS PATCHED OUT, I GUARANTEE IT __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:18 PM	#10
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"NOW THAT IT'S BEEN SEVERAL YEARS SINCE WE COLLECTIVELY SMOTHERED THE PLASTIC GUITAR GENRE UNDER A PILLOW WE'RE GIVING IT ANOTHER GO" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:19 PM	#12
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	IT'S A SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE, WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:21 PM	#13
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	IS THERE A LOT OF DEMAND FOR GUITAR CHORD CHARTS FOR HIP HOP BACKING TRACKS BECAUSE UUUUUUUUHHHHHHH __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:22 PM	#14
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	GONNA MASTER THE GUITAR BY REPEATEDLY PLAYING THE SAME THREE NOTES IN A LIL JON SONG DRAGONFORCE AIN'T SHIT __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:23 PM	#15
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	WHY DOES THIS SPORTS GAME LOOK LIKE A CHINESE KNOCKOFF OF FORTNITE __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:24 PM	#16
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	EVEN IN A FUCKING SPORTS GAME UBISOFT CAN'T HELP HAVING YOU CAPTURE FORTS AND DISTRICTS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:26 PM	#17
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	AND IT'S AN OPEN WORLD GAME TO BOOT FOCUSED DESIGN? IN MY UBISOFT GAME? __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:27 PM	#18
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	MY RADICAL PREDICTION IS THAT A GAME WITH 20+ DIFFERENT SPORTS WILL BE EXTREMELY FORGETTABLE EVEN WITH ITS "HIP TO THE KIDS" AESTHETIC BECAUSE IT WILL DO NONE OF THEM INTERESTING OR WELL __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:29 PM	#19
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	MY CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ON RAINBOW SIX SIEGE IS THAT IT'S FUCKING WEIRD WHEN I SEE SHISHIRO BOTAN PLAYING IT PRETTY SURE A JAPANESE WOMAN PLAYING AN UBISOFT TEAM BASED SHOOTER LEGALLY QUALIFIES AS A CRYPTID __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:30 PM	#20
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	I SHOULD GIVE UBISOFT KUDOS FOR ENABLING CROSSPLAY SO THAT THE LAST THREE PEOPLE ON STADIA AREN'T SO LONELY __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:33 PM	#21
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	OF COURSE UBISOFT HAS A KNOCKOFF SMASH BROTHERS WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:34 PM	#22
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	REMEMBER THE GENERIC WHITE GUYS FROM THE FIRST WATCH DOGS YOU CAN PLAY THEM IN THE NEW ISIS GRANDMA WATCH DOGS I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY BUT I GUESS IT'S AN OPTION IN THE WAY GETTING AN ENEMA FROM A FIREHOSE IS __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:36 PM	#23
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	JUST DANCE PRESENTATION WITHOUT A DANCING PANDA HOW CAN UBISOFT MISUNDERSTAND THEIR OWN GAMES THIS BADLY __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

06-12-2021, 02:39 PM	#24
Blastoise We deny our creators. Join Date: May 2007 Location: Reduces construction time Posts: 3,070	"WE FOUND OUR NEXT EZIO AND YOU CAN BET WE'RE GOING TO RUN THAT SHIT INTO THE GROUND" __________________ "It does not matter anymore. We cannot change the past. The future will have to do." -Windham Khatib

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