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Old 07-28-2018, 10:54 AM   #1
ChampofPokemon
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Your thoughts on Ash Ketchum?

He's still doing the right thing in the anime by trying to be a pokemon master even after years and years of training.
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Old 07-28-2018, 01:30 PM   #2
phoopes
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Spoiler: show
I don't know the number of people who will read these words or what number will hear and heed my message. Regardless, it is imperative that as many people as possible learn that the basic law of the jungle is “survival of the fittest”, not “survival of malign, sinister lotharios who inculcate the hermeneutics of suspicion in otherwise open-minded people”. One of my objectives for this letter is to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them.

If we take Mr. Ash Ketchum's shenanigans to their logical conclusion, we see that by the next full moon, Ash will render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. At any rate, if he could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to keep us perennially behind the eight ball. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Ash's biggest lie is that he's renowned for his racial and cultural sensitivity. Sure, he might be able to peddle that boatload of parisology to the hayseeds, but his stiff-necked scare tactics create a mechanism of censorship that begs to be abused and manipulated by those in power. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does he proclaim that women are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras? The answer will not satisfy those who seek simple solutions to complex problems, but it boils down essentially to this: I am prepared to state my views and stand by them. Furthermore, I think that Ash is doing some serious mau-mauing. You probably think that too. But Ash does not think that. Ash thinks that might makes right.

May I assume that anyone who wants to break down the industrial-technological system is either (a) pretentious or (b) a carnaptious fainéant? If so, then I have news for Ash: He argues that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. This is an entertaining statement, perhaps, except that when taken at face value it presages a likely attempt by Ash to waste our time and money. I recently heard a few of his thralls actually admit that Ash doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. In response to such admissions Ash began a campaign of retribution against many of his coalition for their refusal to stay on message and support Ash's central mission, namely to do the entire country a grave disservice. Harsh retribution will sincerely make his followers think twice before acknowledging that Ash's spokesmen like to say, “We should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy.” Such frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. If someone wants me to believe something saturnine like that, that person will have to show me some concrete evidence. Meanwhile, I intend to show you that Ash has had some success in converting once-great academic institutions into worthless diploma mills. I find that horrifying and frightening, but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that Ash's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Ash's lieutenants, who loudly proclaim that Ash has the right to undertake extrajudicial reprisals against his competitors. Regardless of those obdurate proclamations, the truth is that we must educate the public on a range of issues if we are ever to establish a supportive—rather than an intimidating—atmosphere for offering public comment. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must definitely pursue because Ash is desperate to convince us that he is the arbiter of all things. To achieve this goal, he has apparently decided it's more effective to “construct a counternarrative” (read: make up a story) than to look for anything resembling facts. This worries me because Ash's quips will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to call your attention to the problem of unsavory crypto-fascists. We ought to spread the word that he wants nothing less than to replace intellectual integrity with testy-to-the-core sloganeering, hence his repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his strident misdeeds.

Notice the sullen tendency of Ash's surmises. Ash's atavistic values lead him to control Web content that he deems politically or morally objectionable. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that Ash often remarks that principles don't matter. That's one of those neat little subreptions that his clumsy brethren employ to deceive themselves. The truth is that Ash thinks we want him to suborn Pecksniffian jobsworths to promote intolerance and paranoia. Excuse me, but maybe his feral snow jobs add up to an unconscionable, surly message. This message is that you should be afraid—afraid of people whose ethnicity is different or whose religious faith is different or who were born in a different country or who hold different political beliefs from yours. In contrast, my message is that when you tell Ash's apparatchiks that Ash traffics in dark conspiracy theories drawn from the pages of supermarket tabloids and the far reaches of the Internet, they begin to get fidgety and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that his arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial.

If you think that Ash is cunctipotent, then think again. We mustn't be content to patch and darn, to piece and cobble at the worn and rotten fabric of his nugatory sound bites. Instead we must work together towards a shared vision. We don't merely have an Ash Ketchum problem. We have an Ash Ketchum crisis. That said, Ash used to be a major proponent of jingoism. Nowadays, he's putting all of his support behind antipluralism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Ash likes to talk about free speech. Lamentably, his model of free speech is not free at all. To Ash, free speech is speech that he controls and can use as an ideological weapon to ensure that there can never in the future be accord, unity, or a common, agreed-upon destiny among the citizens of this once-great nation. We have a problem, and we need to solve it. I mean really solve it—not put a Band-Aid on it, not whitewash over it, not look the other way. I propose we start by driving off and dispersing the neo-naive, mumpish dolts who convert our children to cultural zombies in a mass of unthinking and easily herded proletarian cattle as that will get people thinking about how Ash wants us to believe that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. A shockingly high number of intelligent people buy into that deception, unfortunately. I say we need to inform such people that tribalism is dangerous. Ash's sadistic version of it is doubly so.

Ash has convinced a generation of people that everyone who scrambles aboard the Ash Ketchum bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Assume for a moment that his suggestions are unrealistic. It therefore follows logically that he had previously claimed that he had no intention to rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what he did. Next, he denied that he would subvert existing lines of power and information. We all know what happened then. Now, Ash would have us believe he'd never ever create a beachhead for organized charlatanism. Will he? Go figure. My view is that Ash, like all feckless, louche good-for-nothings, is harebrained. I do have to apologize for that; not all of them are harebrained. Just kidding; yes they are. All such humor aside, Ash warrants that profits come before people. That concept is, of course, complete bunk by any stretch of the imagination. However, it is bunk that has survived virtually unchanged from when it was first proposed nearly half a century ago by disgusting tricksters to its present incarnation in Ash's nutty paroxysms.

Ash must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that the Universe belongs to him by right? He likes to talk about how his lectures can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that Ash is secretly saying that he intends to scrawl pro-priggism graffiti over everything.

Ash predicted long ago that he'd go straight to Heaven after he dies. I see a different, warmer eternity for him, especially when you consider that there are lots of weepy, wimpy flower children out there who are always whining that I'm being too harsh in my criticisms of Ash. I wish such people would wake up and realize that in the midst of our mighty struggle to raise several issues about Ash's meretricious, dissolute reports that are frequently missing from the drivel that masquerades for discourse on this topic, I have seen too many people stand on the sidelines and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. I have watched too many people accept without challenge Ash's delirious claim that he can scare us by using big words like “pericardiomediastinitis”. And I have observed too many people fail to realize that if you read Ash's circulars while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that it's smarmy to help people see Ash's oleaginous, drugged-out claims for what they are. But if you read his circulars while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he does not appeal to most people as being the most endearing or public-minded of citizens. Maybe Ash's image would improve somewhat if he stopped substituting rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence.

Bourbonism is a weapon of ethnocentrism. With enough time and room, it would be easy to show why this must be true, but the clinching argument is simply that if Ash is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of jejune, inerudite adulterers from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that he'll be capable of determining that he's good at one thing, and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of Ash's egoism movement know that he's planning to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. Even fewer of these initiates know that I recently heard Ash tell a bunch of people that his activities are on the up-and-up. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Summa summarum, Mr. Ash Ketchum's barbs are complete drivel.
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Old 07-28-2018, 06:24 PM   #3
ChampofPokemon
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoopes View Post
Spoiler: show
I don't know the number of people who will read these words or what number will hear and heed my message. Regardless, it is imperative that as many people as possible learn that the basic law of the jungle is “survival of the fittest”, not “survival of malign, sinister lotharios who inculcate the hermeneutics of suspicion in otherwise open-minded people”. One of my objectives for this letter is to face our problems realistically, get to the root of our problems, and be determined to solve them.

If we take Mr. Ash Ketchum's shenanigans to their logical conclusion, we see that by the next full moon, Ash will render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. At any rate, if he could have one wish, he'd wish for the ability to keep us perennially behind the eight ball. Then, people the world over would be too terrified to acknowledge that Ash's biggest lie is that he's renowned for his racial and cultural sensitivity. Sure, he might be able to peddle that boatload of parisology to the hayseeds, but his stiff-necked scare tactics create a mechanism of censorship that begs to be abused and manipulated by those in power. The facts are indisputable, the arguments are impeccable, and the consequences are undeniable. So why does he proclaim that women are spare parts in the social repertoire—mere optional extras? The answer will not satisfy those who seek simple solutions to complex problems, but it boils down essentially to this: I am prepared to state my views and stand by them. Furthermore, I think that Ash is doing some serious mau-mauing. You probably think that too. But Ash does not think that. Ash thinks that might makes right.

May I assume that anyone who wants to break down the industrial-technological system is either (a) pretentious or (b) a carnaptious fainéant? If so, then I have news for Ash: He argues that 75 million years ago, a galactic tyrant named Xenu solved the overpopulation problem of his 76-planet federation by transporting the excess people to Earth, chaining them to volcanoes, and dropping H-bombs on them. This is an entertaining statement, perhaps, except that when taken at face value it presages a likely attempt by Ash to waste our time and money. I recently heard a few of his thralls actually admit that Ash doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. In response to such admissions Ash began a campaign of retribution against many of his coalition for their refusal to stay on message and support Ash's central mission, namely to do the entire country a grave disservice. Harsh retribution will sincerely make his followers think twice before acknowledging that Ash's spokesmen like to say, “We should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy.” Such frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. If someone wants me to believe something saturnine like that, that person will have to show me some concrete evidence. Meanwhile, I intend to show you that Ash has had some success in converting once-great academic institutions into worthless diploma mills. I find that horrifying and frightening, but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that Ash's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Ash's lieutenants, who loudly proclaim that Ash has the right to undertake extrajudicial reprisals against his competitors. Regardless of those obdurate proclamations, the truth is that we must educate the public on a range of issues if we are ever to establish a supportive—rather than an intimidating—atmosphere for offering public comment. Yes, this is a bold, audacious, even unprecedented undertaking. Yes, it lacks any realistic guarantee of success. However, it is an undertaking that we must definitely pursue because Ash is desperate to convince us that he is the arbiter of all things. To achieve this goal, he has apparently decided it's more effective to “construct a counternarrative” (read: make up a story) than to look for anything resembling facts. This worries me because Ash's quips will have consequences—very serious consequences. We ought to begin doing something about that. We ought to call your attention to the problem of unsavory crypto-fascists. We ought to spread the word that he wants nothing less than to replace intellectual integrity with testy-to-the-core sloganeering, hence his repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his strident misdeeds.

Notice the sullen tendency of Ash's surmises. Ash's atavistic values lead him to control Web content that he deems politically or morally objectionable. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that Ash often remarks that principles don't matter. That's one of those neat little subreptions that his clumsy brethren employ to deceive themselves. The truth is that Ash thinks we want him to suborn Pecksniffian jobsworths to promote intolerance and paranoia. Excuse me, but maybe his feral snow jobs add up to an unconscionable, surly message. This message is that you should be afraid—afraid of people whose ethnicity is different or whose religious faith is different or who were born in a different country or who hold different political beliefs from yours. In contrast, my message is that when you tell Ash's apparatchiks that Ash traffics in dark conspiracy theories drawn from the pages of supermarket tabloids and the far reaches of the Internet, they begin to get fidgety and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that his arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial.

If you think that Ash is cunctipotent, then think again. We mustn't be content to patch and darn, to piece and cobble at the worn and rotten fabric of his nugatory sound bites. Instead we must work together towards a shared vision. We don't merely have an Ash Ketchum problem. We have an Ash Ketchum crisis. That said, Ash used to be a major proponent of jingoism. Nowadays, he's putting all of his support behind antipluralism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Ash likes to talk about free speech. Lamentably, his model of free speech is not free at all. To Ash, free speech is speech that he controls and can use as an ideological weapon to ensure that there can never in the future be accord, unity, or a common, agreed-upon destiny among the citizens of this once-great nation. We have a problem, and we need to solve it. I mean really solve it—not put a Band-Aid on it, not whitewash over it, not look the other way. I propose we start by driving off and dispersing the neo-naive, mumpish dolts who convert our children to cultural zombies in a mass of unthinking and easily herded proletarian cattle as that will get people thinking about how Ash wants us to believe that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. A shockingly high number of intelligent people buy into that deception, unfortunately. I say we need to inform such people that tribalism is dangerous. Ash's sadistic version of it is doubly so.

Ash has convinced a generation of people that everyone who scrambles aboard the Ash Ketchum bandwagon is guaranteed a smooth ride. One must pause in admiration at this triumph of media manipulation. Assume for a moment that his suggestions are unrealistic. It therefore follows logically that he had previously claimed that he had no intention to rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what he did. Next, he denied that he would subvert existing lines of power and information. We all know what happened then. Now, Ash would have us believe he'd never ever create a beachhead for organized charlatanism. Will he? Go figure. My view is that Ash, like all feckless, louche good-for-nothings, is harebrained. I do have to apologize for that; not all of them are harebrained. Just kidding; yes they are. All such humor aside, Ash warrants that profits come before people. That concept is, of course, complete bunk by any stretch of the imagination. However, it is bunk that has survived virtually unchanged from when it was first proposed nearly half a century ago by disgusting tricksters to its present incarnation in Ash's nutty paroxysms.

Ash must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that the Universe belongs to him by right? He likes to talk about how his lectures can give us deeper insights into the nature of reality. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that Ash is secretly saying that he intends to scrawl pro-priggism graffiti over everything.

Ash predicted long ago that he'd go straight to Heaven after he dies. I see a different, warmer eternity for him, especially when you consider that there are lots of weepy, wimpy flower children out there who are always whining that I'm being too harsh in my criticisms of Ash. I wish such people would wake up and realize that in the midst of our mighty struggle to raise several issues about Ash's meretricious, dissolute reports that are frequently missing from the drivel that masquerades for discourse on this topic, I have seen too many people stand on the sidelines and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. I have watched too many people accept without challenge Ash's delirious claim that he can scare us by using big words like “pericardiomediastinitis”. And I have observed too many people fail to realize that if you read Ash's circulars while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that it's smarmy to help people see Ash's oleaginous, drugged-out claims for what they are. But if you read his circulars while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it's clear that he does not appeal to most people as being the most endearing or public-minded of citizens. Maybe Ash's image would improve somewhat if he stopped substituting rumor and gossip for bona fide evidence.

Bourbonism is a weapon of ethnocentrism. With enough time and room, it would be easy to show why this must be true, but the clinching argument is simply that if Ash is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of jejune, inerudite adulterers from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that he'll be capable of determining that he's good at one thing, and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of Ash's egoism movement know that he's planning to let us know exactly what our attitudes should be towards various types of people and behavior. Even fewer of these initiates know that I recently heard Ash tell a bunch of people that his activities are on the up-and-up. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. Summa summarum, Mr. Ash Ketchum's barbs are complete drivel.
XD!!
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