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Old 03-13-2017, 07:36 PM   #301
Jerichi
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ALRIGHT TIME FOR THE BIG TEARDOWN

NICK HAS NEVER DONE A TELL-ALL SINCE HE WAS THE TOP TWO IN HIS PREVIOUS SEASONS

HERE COMES A RANDO NO ONE REMEMBERS TALKING

I'LL TAKE IT AS "INTERVIEW OF GIRL NO ONE KNOWS"

DOLPHIN GIRL WAS LIKE "I WAS TOTALLY FINE BEING FRIENDZONED"

(ALSO I'M MARKING "I DONT NEED NO MAN FOR KRISTINA" BECAUSE GOD DAMMIT SHE DON'T)

NICK GETS PRETTY DEFENSIVE AND HIS MIDWESTERN ACCENT STARTS TO CREEP OUT THERE'S A BOX

AND SARAH (WHO?) CONFRONTS HIM AND ACCUSES HIM OF LEADING HER ON

THAT'S TWO BOXES

ALSO BONUS UGLYCRY

RACIAL TENSION IS TOTALLY COMING WITH THE BACHELORETTE ANNOUNCEMENT C'MON SOMEONE LAST BOX IS RELATIONSHIP ANNOUNCEMENT

OH GOOD WE'RE NOT DONE PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY
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Old 03-13-2017, 07:43 PM   #302
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THEY HARP ON THE FACT THAT NICK WAS ON BOTH SIDES OF THE SHOW

IDK BORING QUESTIONS

BLOOPERS TIME

HAHHAHAH AT THE DRAMATIC POST HOMETOWNS CEREMONY, THE WIND KNOCKED OVER A TON OF TREES

NICK NEARLY WALKED AWAY FROM HIS FIRST ROSE CEREMONY

FOGHORN AND BICYCLIST AND HECKLER INTERRUPT RACHEL

CORINGE GETTING ATTACKED BY A BUG

LOTS OF GIRLS FREAKING OUT ABOUT BUGS

GOD ALL OF THESE RIDICULUS SOUND EFFECTS

TAYLOR FALLS OFF HAMMOCK

BOOM IN SHOT

FART

MORE FARTING

PEOPLE NOT CATCHING FOOD IN THEIR MOUTHS

CORRINGE STUFFING HER FACE WITH CHEESE LITERALLY

UGLY SLEEPING ON BUSES

THAT WAS GOOD
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Old 03-13-2017, 07:52 PM   #303
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OKAY TIME FOR RACHEL (AND A LITTLE RACIAL TENSION PROBABLY)

ALL THE WOMEN GUSH OVER HER

HERE IS THE MENTION OF HER RACE

I'LL TAKE IT

SHE STARTS ON HER THING ABOUT HOW IT'S A BIG DEAL AND THEN SHE SEES THE SHARK COSTUME AND BREAKS INTO LAUGHTER

IDK REST IS BORING SORRY

BAH WE HAVE ONE MORE SQUARE BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE HAS GOTTEN ENGAGED OR ANYTHING BOO
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Old 03-13-2017, 07:57 PM   #304
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FINALE IS EMOTIONAL AND DRAMATIC SOUNDS LIKE IT ENDS IN A RELATIONSHIP IDK I'LL TAKE IT

BLACKOUT BINGO!!!!

PREVIEW

PUPPIES

HORSE RIDES

VANESSA CONFRONTS THE REALTIIES OF THE SITUATION

RAVEN IS CONCERNED ABOUT HIM NOT BREAKING CONTRACT

VANESSA UGLY CRIES

ANYWAY THAT'S ALL NO SPOILERS FOR NEXT WEEK PLZ
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Old 03-18-2017, 07:17 PM   #305
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FALSE BINGO AND YOU KNOW IT JERI

FALSE
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Old 05-23-2017, 02:54 AM   #306
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Old 05-24-2017, 07:59 PM   #307
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Bachelor producers: You can be the Bachelorette, but we do get to make some calls about who moves on. It won't impact the ones you really like, but it's for ratings.

Rachel: That's fair

Waboom guy: Waboom!

Rachel: . . . What have I done?
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Old 05-24-2017, 10:53 PM   #308
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No. Guys, don't say w*****. You know he'll be Googling it right now... >_>

Spoiler: show
Adam Jr was the best part.
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:09 PM   #309
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HEY GUYS

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

THAT'S RIGHT - TIME TO SEE 30ISH DESPERATE WOMEN THROW THEMSELVES AT A SINGLE MAN FOR THE CHANCE TO BECOME AN INSTAGRAM MODEL TO BE PROPOSED TO BY AND INEVITABLY BREAK UP WITH A SMEXY MAN



THIS IS OUR NEW GUY - HIS NAME IS UH ARIE OR SOMETHING

HE'S A RACE CAR DRIVER AND (OF COURSE) A BACHELORETTE LOSER

HE'S NOT THAT HOT AND SEEMS ABOUT AS INTERESTING AS TOOTH DECAY BUT WHATEVER, THESE PEOPLE AREN'T ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO HAVE PERSONALITIES

ALSO LOL HIS SEASON WAS 5 YEARS AGO THE PRODUCERS ARE REALLY DIGGING DEEP FOR THIS SHIT

OH MY GOD AS IF HE COULDN'T BE MORE BORING HE'S A REAL ESTATE AGENT NOW TOO UGH

OH GOD WELL THEY'RE TROTTING OUT THE LITERAL ONE SUCCESS STORY THEY'VE EVER HAD LIKE THEY'VE DONE FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS FUCK ME

HE'S BASICALLY LIKE THE PERFECT BACHELOR BECAUSE HE'S CUTE AND PURE AND HANDSOME AND ACTUALLY LIKE, MARRIED SOMEONE AND STAYED MARRIED

WHO IS READY FOR THE PARADE OF FUTURE SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER HOPEFULS
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:21 PM   #310
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AS LONG AS I GET SHARK GIRL 2.0 IM SATISFIED
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:24 PM   #311
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HERE'S CHRIS HARRISON THE MOST USELESS HOST ON TELEVISION

HE'S APPARENTLY THE BEST KISSER ON THE SHOW THANKS FOR THAT INFO

OH BOY PREVIEWSSSSS

NAME: CHELSEA
AGE: 29
HOMETOWN: PORTLAND, MA (THE LAME ONE)
OCCUPATION: SINGLE MOM, PROBABLY (ALSO REAL ESTATE I GUESS)

SHE HAS A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH SINGLE MOTHERHOOD BUT SHE'S GOTTA LOVE IT

KIDS ARE A BURDEN, HAHA

ALSO LOVE THAT THEY'RE ROLLING OUT THE SINGLE MOM FIRST

OH HIS BACHELORETTE WAS A SINGLE MOM OH BOY

NAME: CAROLINE
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: FT LAUDERDALE, FL
OCCUPATION: REALTOR (IS THIS A THEME)

SHE HASN'T BEEN IN REAL ESTATE FOR A FULL YEAR YET BUT SHE'S SOLD 5MIL OK

ALSO WANTS KIDS, THAT FEELS LIKE A THEME

ALSO A CAR GIRL

NAME: MIQUEL (PRONOUNCED MICHELLE, WHITE TRASH ALERT)
AGE: 23
HOMETOWN: UTAH
OCCUPATION: PHOTOG

GENERIC NEXT

NAME: NYSHA
AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: SOUTH CAROLINA
OCCUPATION: NURSE

SHE LIKES THRILLS, LIKE BLOOD AND SKYDIVING

SWEET SOUTHERN GIRL, ALSO AFRICAN AMERICAN SO THERES THAT

NAME: TIA
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: WEINER (yes) AK
OCCUPATION: PT

ALSO PAINFULLY SOUTHERN

SHE LIKES GUNS, HER DAD'S A FARMER, ETC

OH SHE KNOWS RAVEN, WHO LOST THE LAST SEASON I THINK OR SOMETHING I DON'T REMEMBER OTHER THAN I HATED HER AND SHE GOT TOO FAR

NAME: KENDALL
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: TAXIDERMIST/CREATIVE DIRECTOR?/UKELELIST

IS SHE THE CRAZY? I MEAN, SHE CALLED HERSELF WEIRD AND COLLECTS DEAD ANIMALS AND PLAYS THE UKE SO

NAME: BECCA
AGE: NO AGE FOR SOME REASON
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: NANNY

I AM WORRIED THAT HER AGE IS NOT LISTED

SHE'S GOT A PIXIE CUT SO SHE SEEMS LIKE, IDK, DIFFERENT I GUESS

NAME: MARIKH
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: SLC
OCCUPATION: RESTAURANT OWNER

SHE'S USED TO BEING THE ONE THAT'S PURSUED SO

ALSO SHE OWNS A RESTAURANT AT 27 SO

YEAH

IDK

SHE'S INDIAN THOUGH SO THAT'S NEW AND INTERESTING

IDK SHE'S OKAY

THE PRODUCERS ASKED ABOUT HER SPICE FUCK ME

NAME: KRYSTAL
AGE: 29
HOMETOWN: SAN DIEGO
OCCUPATION: ONLINE FITNESS COACH UGH

SHE'S SO GIVING YOU GUYS

SHE DOES WORK WITH HOMELESS PEOPLE BECAUSE HER LITTLE BROTHER IS HOMELESS THOUGH THAT'S ACTUALLY KINDA NICE AND SHE SEEMS TO KNOW A BIT ABOUT NUTRITION SO I GUESS IT COULD BE WORSE

...BUT SHE ALSO JUST HANDS HOMELESS PEOPLE BAGS OF FOOD SO IDK ABOUT THAT

OKAY I THINK THATS IT FOR THE PREVIEWS, TIME FOR THE OVERPRODUCED ENTRANCES
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:24 PM   #312
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ALL THE GIRLS LOOK THE SAME AND I'M WHITE WTF
(EXCEPT THE ONE BLACK CHICK OFC)
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:47 PM   #313
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AS LONG AS I GET SHARK GIRL 2.0 IM SATISFIED


(AS LONG AS SHE GETS KICKED EARLY)

SO FYI HE IS APPARENTLY ALSO KNOWN AS THE KISSING BANDIT SO EXPECT THAT REFERENCE A FEW TIMES

NAME: CAROLINE
AGE: I MISSED IT
HOMETOWN: FL
OCCUPATION: REALTOR
DRESS: WHITE AND BORING 5/10

ALREADY MET HER, SHE TALKS ABOUT BEING A REALTOR AND MAKES A REAL ESTATE JOKE OKAY

HE LIKES HER WHATEVER

NAME: CHELSEA
AGE: 29
HOMETOWN: PORTLAND (THE BAD ONE)
OCCUPATION: MOM
DRESS: BLACK, SIMPLE, WEIRD CUTOUTS 6/10

SHE'S COY ABOUT BEING A MOM, WHICH LIKE, NEVER WORKS OUT

DON'T DO THAT

NAME: KENDALL
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: "CREATIVE DIRECTOR"/ALL AROUND WEIRDO
DRESS: UGLY METALLIC PEACH, GROSS 2/10

SHE SEEMS NORMAL ENOUGH BUT WE KNOW BETTER

NAME: SEINNE
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: NEWPORT BEACH CA
OCCUPATION: MORE REAL ESTATE
DRESS: ITS BLACK IT FITS HER WELL 7/10

ALSO IN REAL ESTATE AND AFRICAN AMERICAN AND SHE LIKES ELEPHANTS AND GAVE HIM ELEPHANT CUFFLINKS FOR LUCK

THAT'S ACTUALLY THOUGHTFUL I LIKE HER

NAME: TIA
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: WIENER, AK
OCCUPATION: PT
DRESS: LOOKS LIKE SHE MADE A DRESS OUT OF POOL TABLE FABRIC, HAS UGLY GEM STRAPS, 1/10

SHE MENTIONS WIENER

SHE BROUGHT HIM A LITTLE WIENER AND MAKES A JOKE ABOUT IT

QUALITY TELEVISION

DO YOU REALLY LIKE HER? DO YOU?

BORING CHATTER

NAME: BIBIANA
AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: MIAMI BEACH FL
OCCUPATION: EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
DRESS: IT'S OKAY, WEIRD GREEN, 6/10

SHIT I THOUGHT I KNEW HER BUT THANK GOD I DON'T

IDK I PANICKED TOO MUCH OVER THINKING I KNEW HER THAT I MISSED MOST OF THAT

NAME: BRI
AGE: 25
HOMETOWN: PORTLAND (THE GOOD ONE)
OCCUPATION: SPORTS REPROTER
DRESS: TOO SPARKLY, FITS HER WELL, 5/10

SHE THROWS HIM A BALL HAHA CUTE BANTER

AT LEAST SHE USED TO PLAY SOFTBALL

TIME FOR SOME RAPID FIRE

NAME: JENNY
AGE: 25
HOMETOWN: CHITOWN (SHOUTOUT TO SNORBS)
OCCUPATION: GRAPHIC DESIGNER
DRESS: IT'S PINK AND NASTY 3/10

EH

NAME: BRITTANE J (THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WITH THIS EXACT NAME SPELLED THIS WAY INTERESTING)
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: MARKETING
DRESS: BLACK AND NORMAL 7/10

SHE PUTS A BUMPER STICKER ON HIS ASS THAT SAYS NICE BUTT OKAY

NAME: JACQUELINE
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: NY, NY
OCCUPATION: RESEARCH COORDINATOR (INTERESTING)
DRESS: RED, FLOWY, EH 6/10

SHE'S NERVOUS BUT SEEMS NORMAL I GUESS

NAME: KRYSTAL
AGE: 29
HOMETOWN: SAN DIEGO
OCCUPATION: FITNESS COACH
DRESS: RED AND TOO BIG (ALSO NO RED DRESSES) 4/10

SHE BREAKS THE RAPID FIRE SO WE'LL SEE HOW THIS GOES

SHE DOES SOME CHEESY MEDITATION THING

AND UGH SHE HAS THAT AWFUL SOCAL ACCENT WHERE SHE NASALIZES EVERYTHING

BACK TO RF

NAME: NYSHA
AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: ANDERSON, SC
OCCUPATION: NURSE
DRESS: WHY ARE YOU WEARING BEIGE HONEY 2/10

JUST SKIPPED HER INTRO IN FAVOR OF BITCHINESS K

NAME: VALERIE
AGE: 25
HOMETOWN: NASHVILLE
OCCUPATION: SERVER
DRESS: LACY BANANA 1/10

HE LIKES IT FOR SOME REASON

OH BOY HERE COMES THE GIMMICK - A MUSCLE CAR - IT'S...

NAME: BEKAH M (WOW THESE NAMES)
AGE: ???
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: NANNY
DRESS: WEIRD YELLOW-TAN DRESS BUT SHE KINDA PULLS IT OFF 6/10

HOW OLD IS SHE??????????

OH GOD IS SHE

UNDER 21

SHE MUST BE IF THEY'RE NOT TELLING US HER AGE
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:12 PM   #314
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'I HOPE NO ONE ELSE WALKS THROUGH THAT DOOR'

OH HONEY

NAME: JENNA
AGE: 28
HOMETOWN: RALEIGH
OCCUPATION: TWITTER PROFESSIONAL (SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER)
DRESS: BLUE, BORING, 4/10

SHE JUST FLIRTS WITH HIM AND IT'S BORING

NAME: JESSICA
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: SANTA MONICA
OCCUPATION: TV HOST?
DRESS: RED, BUT OTHERWISE OKAY 6/10

SHE GIVES HIM A... GRATITUDE ROCK

OKAY

NAME: MARIKH
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: SLC
OCCUPATION: OWNS A RESTAURANT (WITH HER MOM)
DRESS: IT'S OKAY, 7/10

SHE USES A LOT OF DIFFERENT SPICES

BUT SHE WANTS SOME SALT AND PEPPER (BECAUSE HE'S BORING)

NAME: OLIVIA
AGE: 23
HOMETOWN: CHICAGO
OCCUPATION: MARKETING
DRESS: AWFUL, UGLY FAKE PEARLS 1/10

POC, THOUGH UNSPECIFIED, BUT OTHERWISE IGNORED

NAME: BECCA K. (HM MAYBE THE SPELLINGS CAN DIFFER)
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: MINNEAPOLIS
OCCUPATION: PUBLICIST
DRESS: BLACK AND LACY 5/10

SHE ASKS HIM TO GET DOWN ON HIS KNEES :x

GIVES HIM A RING BOX AND SOME LINES

IT'S NOT CUTE

NAME: LAUREN S
AGE: 31
HOMETOWN: DALLAS
OCCUPATION: SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER (TWITERRER)
DRESS: STRAPPY BLACK COCKTAIL 6/10

UNINTERESTING

NAME: LAUREN J
AGE: 33
HOMETOWN: NEW ROADS, LA
OCCUPATION: RECENT MASTER GRAD (GL HON)
DRESS: BASIC, WHITE, SOLID, 8/10

SHE BROUGHT HIM MARDI GRAS BEADS THAT ARE HUGE BECAUSE LOUISIANA

NAME: LAUREN B. (FUCK ME REALLY)
AGE: 25
HOMETOWN: DALLAS
OCCUPATION: TECH SALES
DRESS: UGLYASS SILVER SHIT 0/10

EVERYONE FREAKS OVER THE THREE LAURENS

TOO MANY LAURENS

NAME: LAUREN G???????????????
AGE: 26
HOMETOWN: LA
OCCUPATION: EXEC RECRUITER
DRESS: I DONT EVEN CARE/10

LIMO FULL OF LAURENS STOP

S T O P

(SHE'S A POC THOUGH SO THAT'S SOMETHING)

NAME: ASHLEY (FINALLY)
AGE: 25
HOMETOWN: WEST PALM BEACH
OCCUPATION: MORE REAL ESTATE
DRESS: BAD SEQUINS 3/10

SHE HAS A RACING FLAG, CUTE

BLAND

HE HATES THE RACE CAR JOKES LMAO

NAME: BRITTANY T
AGE: 30
HOMETOWN: AUSTIN
OCCUPATION: TECH RECRITER
DRESS: BASIC BLACK 8/10

MORE AFRICAN AMERICANS NICE

SHE IS FAILING AT SPEAKING DUTCH, BUT IT'S CUTE

NAME: AMBER
AGE: 29
HOMETOWN: DENVER
OCCUPATION: SPRAY TAN COMPANY OWNER
DRESS: UGLY, PROBABLY (I CAN'T TELL) ?/10

YUP, AMBER OWNS A SPRAY TAN COMPANY

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP

SHE SEES A LOT OF UM

DICK, I GUESS

NAME: ALI
AGE: 27
HOMETOWN: DALLAS (TOO MANY)
OCCUPATION: PERSONAL STYLIST
DRESS: THE SAME UGLYASS SILVER DRESS FROM BEFORE 0/10

SHE ASKS HIM TO DO A SMELL CHECK

WEIRD

GROSS

NAME: ANNALIESE
AGE: 32
HOMETOWN: SAN FRAN
OCCUPATION: EVENT DESIGNER?
DRESS: BLUE, NICE SHAPE, GOOD CUT, 9/10

BUT SHE RUINS HER GOOD DRESS WITH THE KISS BANDIT GIMMICK WAY TO GO

HERE COMES THE FORMULA 1 CAR IT'S...

NAME: MAQUEL (UGH)
AGE: 23
HOMETOWN: OREM UT
OCCUPATION: PHOTOG
DRESS: ROYAL BLUE AND NICE, BUT I HATE HER 0/10

I ALREADY HATE HER FOR SOME REASON HMMM




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Old 01-17-2018, 04:24 PM   #315
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OH GOOD THAT'S EVERYONE

29 IN TOTAL, SO WE'LL GET RID OF LIKE 6 OR SO

WELP SOMEONE BITCHING ABOUT A GIRL GOING TO TALK TO HIM FIRST

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS GOD

IT'S CALL STRATEGY LADIES

THIS IS CHELSEA SHE'S *MYSTERIOUS* OOOOooOOoOooOOoOOo

AND SHE'S IN REAL ESTATE

OH MY GOD THIS GIRL COMES IN MID SENTENCE AND INTERRUPTS HER

IT'S MAQUEL TOO NO SURPRISES

AND THEN CHELSEA STARTS TO TALK SHIT GREAT GOOD JOB

TO LIKE TWO DIFFERENT GROUPS OF WOMEN WOW

MAQUEL DIDN'T REMEMBER WHAT THEY TALKED ABOUT

NONE OF THESE CONVOS ARE NOTABLE OR INTERESTING

ALL OF THE POC GIRLS (AND UH, ONE RANDOM WHITE GIRL) TALK ABOUT DATING INTERRACIALLY

>IF YOU CAN FIND LOVE ON TINDER OR DATING APPS YOU CAN FIND LOVE ON TV

UM 🆗

ONE GIRL MAKES HIM RACE IN BARBIE CARS WHICH IS FUNNY

HE LETS HER TIE, IT'S ACTUALLY CUTE, THEY KISS

AND NOW EVERYONE FREAKS OUT ABOUT THE FIRST KISS OH MY GOD LADIES

LET IT GO

CHELSEA IS BRINGING OUT THE BIG GUNS

SAVE IT HON IT'S NIGHT FUCKING ONE
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:32 PM   #316
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HERE IS QUIRKY GIRL WITH THE UKE

SHE'S NOT TOO GOOD

ONE GIRL BROUGHT HIM PIZZA SMART

ANOTHER BROUGHT PINEAPPLE

...AND JOKED ITS HER SAFE WORD HONEY

SOMEONE ELSE GIVES HIM A FOOT MASSAGE

MAY ACTUALLY HAVE ADULT ADHD, WHICH IS THE IMPLICATION I THINK

AND THEY'RE PLAYING THAT OFF AS QUIRKY, SO ��

BANDIT GIRL IS WORRIED ABOUT THE MASK REVEAL, THOUGH IT BARELY COVERS HER FACE

HER NAME IS ANNELISE, AND SHE IS NOT A NICKNAME PERSON DON'T CALL HER ANNIE

EVERYONE'S CHATTERING ABOUT THE ROSE SNORE

BORING CONVO, AND CHRIS HARRISON SHOWS UP WITH THE FABLE ~FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE~ (I.E. THE SAFETY TALISMAN FOR THE LADY WHO WAS THE FLASHIEST)

COMMERCIAL, BECAUSE, OF COURSE
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:38 PM   #317
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LADIES DISCUSSING THE BACHELOR META

CAN YOU PLAY THE BACHELOR OPTIMALLY???

I WONDER IF THAT IS POSSIBLE

HOW ARE THERE FEWER GIRLS AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T TALKED YET

LOTS OF PANICKED INTERRUPTIONS SO THAT'S SUPER FUN

UH OH CHELSEA FROM BEFORE INTERRUPTS KRYSTAL, WHO IS ALREADY PROVING TO BE A VILLAIN

SHE GETS A KISS WHICH IS *DRAAAAAAMAAAAAA*

AND TELLS EVERYONE THAT SHE WENT IN FOR A SECOND TIME WHEN OTHERS HAVE NOT GOTTEN ONE SHOT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

BEKAH ACCUSES HER OF SHITSTIRRING AND THEN STIRS SHIT BEHIND HER BACK ��
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Old 01-17-2018, 04:47 PM   #318
Jerichi
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MORE FIR CHATTER

GRAPHIC DESIGNER GIRL DREW HER A PICTURE, IT'S OKAY

WIENER GIRL CLAIMS TO BE A CLOWN, ARIE CLAIMS TO BE A NERD

🆗

BEKAH TAKES HIM TO THE CAR AND LOOKS QUITE SEXY

SHE IS ALSO THE TOKEN MILLENNIAL SO THAT'S FUN

AND I WANT TO LIKE HER BUT OH MY GOD SHE IS A SHIT STIRRER

THEY DO HAVE A CUTE DYNAMIC UGH

HERE HE COMES...

...AND TAKES THE ROSE OUTSIDE

IT'S...

Spoiler: show
CHELSEA OH GREAT


YUP SUPER

SHE BROKE THE RULES AND GOT THE FIRST IMPRESSION ROSE ALWAYS A GOOD THING RIGHT

SHE CLAIMS NOT TO BE COMPETITIVE, BUT AGGRESSIVE

NOT A GOOD TRADE HON

OH MAN AND KRYSTAL IS THE ONE WHO IS LIKE "THIS BITCH"

THIS IS BOUND TO END BEAUTIFULLY

NEXT UP THE ROSES
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Old 01-17-2018, 05:00 PM   #319
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ALRIGHT FOR THE NEWBIES AND OTHERWISE UNINITIATED, HERE'S HOW THIS WORKS

1. GIRLS GATHER IN ROOM, EVERYONE LOOKS NERVOUS
2. THE BACHELOR GIVES OUT ROSES TO EACH GIRL HE WANTS TO KEEP UNTIL NEXT WEEK ONE AT A TIME, WHILE THE NUMBER OF ROSES LEFT ON THE TABLE VARIES WILDLY
3. CHRIS HARRISON COMES OUT TO ANNOUNCE THE FINAL ROSE, WHICH IS OBVIOUS TO PEOPLE WITH EYES WHO ARE SIGHTED
4. ANYONE WITHOUT THEM CRIES, GOES HOME

IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE AND SHOULD TAKE A SOLID FIVE MINUTES BUT THEY MANAGE TO MAKE IT 10 BECAUSE FILLER

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU (EXCEPT OR ALL THE INTERVIEWS)

ALSO THEY HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT IT IS LITERALLY THE MORNING WHY???

CHELSEA IS ALREADY SAFE, FOR SOME REASON

THE ROSE CEREMONY
Spoiler: show
BECCA K
MARIKH
KENDALL (UGLY ASS DRESS UGH)
LAUREN G (LAUREN #1)
KRYSTAL (BARF)
BEKAH M (OKAY)
LAUREN S (LAUREN #2)
SEINNE (NICE NAME)
CAROLINE (WHO)
BRITTANY T (ALSO WHO)
BIBIANA (SHE CALLS HIM PAPI IN AN INTERVIEW)
ANNALIESE (NOT ANNA)
JENNA (HAS ADULT ADHD, PLAYED FOR LAUGHS)
VALERIE (UGLY BANANA DRESS)
JACQUELINE
JENNY (BAD PINK DRESS)
LAUREN B (LAUREN #3, BAD SILVER DRESS)
ASHLEY
TIA (EW)

THE -FINAL ROSE-
Spoiler: show
MAQUEL EW


99.99999% SURE THE FINAL ROSE IS NEARLY ALWAYS DECIDED BY THE PRODUCERS BECAUSE IT IS ALMOST ALWAYS A SHITSTIRRER

EVERYONE CRIES AND HUGS AND MORNS THE DEATH OF THEIR JOB THAT THEY LEFT FOR LITERALLY NOTHING

TV HOST'S DAD KNEW HIM SOMEHOW, HE IS DEAD I GUESS, SHE IS SAD

EVERYONE HAS RIDICULOUSLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR A DATING REALITY SHOW

ARIE IS 'DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT' BECAUSE HE IS 'IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT' UHUH
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Old 01-17-2018, 05:06 PM   #320
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!!!!!EXCITING PREVIEWS!!!!!

MELODRAMA

MACCHU PICCHU

PARIS

HANGGLIDING

PISA

HORSES

I GUESS THEY GOT AD MONEY BACK IF THEY'RE GOING TO EUROPE

DANGEROUS JETSKI PROCEDURE

A GIRL CALLING ARIE HER MAN AND SWEARING AT CAMERAS

MOM REMINDING EVERYONE THAT SHE'S A MOM

BEKAH'S AGE CAUSING DRAMA

CRYING MONTAGE

DUNES

TRAINS, PLANES, AUTOMOBILES

SHAKY CAMERA SHOTS, BOYFRIEND COMING BACK TO GET A CONTESTANT

WOW THAT WAS ALL MEGA DUMB GET READY YALL

CREDITS SCENE: BACHELORING 101 WITH WHATEVER HIS FACE IS
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Old 01-17-2018, 05:06 PM   #321
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IDK ILL CATCH UP ON THIS OVER THE NEXT WEEK OR SO EXPECT A FEW OF THESE SOON
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:18 PM   #322
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i love these so much :')
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FIZZY BUBBLES INFO IS NOW ON UPN
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Old 01-17-2018, 06:51 PM   #323
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Yooo thanks for killing half an hour in the drive thru jerbear
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Old 01-20-2018, 09:15 AM   #324
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ALRIGHT KIDDIES I HAVE SOME CATCHING UP TO DO SO WE'RE GOING TO GET DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY TODAY WITH THE FIRST LIKE, ACTUAL EPISODE OF THIS SHITSHOW

WHO'S READY FOR SOME "DATES"
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Old 01-20-2018, 09:31 AM   #325
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ALRIGHT THERE ARE TWO ONE-ON-ONE DATES AND A GROUP DATE THIS TIME ROUND

FIRST SHOT - DAY DRINKING

HERE COMES CHRIS WITH THE ~DATE CARD~

CHRIS GIVES A BIG FAKE SPEECH ABOUT HOW THIS IS ALL SO REAL

Spoiler: show
BECCA K

HOLD ON TIGHT

~ARI


THE FIRST FEW DATES ARE ALWAYS SUPER INCONSEQUENTIAL AND ARE BASICALLY FLUFF BECAUSE THE PRODUCERS JUST KIND OF PICK A COUPLE GIRLS AT RANDOM

OKAY SO FOR THE NEWBIES: THIS IS HOW THIS GOES FOR THE NEXT FEW EPS

1. ESTABLISHING SHIT WITH GIRLS BITCHING ABOUT DRAMA
2. DATE CARD FOR THE ONE-ON-ONE, WHICH ARE LIKE REGULAR DATES BUT WITH THE FORCE OF A NATIONAL TELEVISION PRODUCTION COMPANY BEHIND THEM.
3. MORE BITCHING
4. DATE CARD FOR THE GROUP DATE, WHICH IS LIKE A STRANGE NON-SEXUAL ORGY/COMPETITION THING WHERE LIKE 15 GIRLS ALL FAWN OVER THE ONE GUY, DRAMA ENSUES, ONE GIRL GETS AN IMMUNITY ROSE
5. ANOTHER ONE-ON-ONE
6. COCKTAIL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY

GOT IT? GOOD

ARI IS ~BAD BOY~ AND IS TAKING HER ON A MOTORCYCLE

SHE KEEPS FUCKING TALKING FOR SOME REASON IDK

GIRLS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE OTHER GIRL GETTING THE DATE

ONE GIRL'S DAD WAS IN A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT OKAY

THEY GO TO LIKE, A HOUSE, AND HAVE A SEAFOOD BRUNCH

WHICH IS LIKE, SUPER EXCESSIVE AND SET FOR AT LEAST 30 PEOPLE DESPITE THAT THERE ARE TWO

AND UM, THERE'S A DESIGNER HERE?

RACHEL ZOE WHOEVER THAT IS IDK I HAVE NOT HEARD OF HER

IT'S A FASHION SHOW MONTAGE IT'S NOT VERY INTERESTING

SHE PICKS HORRIBLE DRESSES THAT ARE ALL JUST LIKE A SEA OF SEQUINS

LMAO HE GIVES HER LOUBOUTINS

THIS IS NOT A DATE THIS IS AN EGO TRIP

I MEAN LIKE, YES, PLEASE BUY ME SHIT, BUT THIS DOES NOT QUALIFY AS A DATE THIS IS A SHOPPING TRIP

AND NOW THEIR JEWELER HAS GIVEN THEM A FULL SET OF DIAMOND JEWELRY (WHICH IS PRETTY FUCKIN TACKY BY THE WAY) AND DOES NOT MATCH HER DRESS

BUT WHATEVER

BECCA COMES BACK TO CHANGE AND SHOW OFF HER SHIT AND GIRLS ARE ALREADY FREAKING OUT HARD
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