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Old 01-16-2016, 09:19 AM   #26
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ALRIGHT POST DATE WEIRD PARTY THING

GUESS WHO'S GETTIN WASTED (YES IT'S LACE)

LACE: "LAST NIGHT I WAS A LITTLE TOO EMOTIONAL"

BEN AND BECCA, VIRGIN EXTRAORDINAIRE, HAVE A WEIRD LITTLE CONVERSATION WHILE SHOOTIN HOOPS

AND BEN IS ALREADY KISSIN THE LADIES

AND IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS, THE WOMEN SPECULATE ABOUT HIM NOT KISSING

*WOMP WOMP*

MORE JEALOUS LACE

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE HOUSE...

DATE CARD!!!!

Spoiler: show
ONE-ON-ONE!

CAILA

JOIN ME FOR A DAY OF SURPRISES DOT DOT DOT

~BEN

GOOD SHE IS A TOLERABLE PERSON


BACK AT THE WEIRD DATE PARTY, THE GIRLS CONTINUE TO SIMMER ABOUT THE KISS, AND LACE'S CRAZY KEEPS TO RAMP UP

LACE TRIES TO WEIRDLY APOLOGIZE ABOUT HER ACTING LIKE A WEIRD BITCH AND BEN TRIES HIS BEST TO DEAL WITH HER POOR GUY

SHE IS SUPER OBSESSED WITH EYE CONTACT AND SPENDS SO MUCH TIME STARING AT HIM THAT SHE MISSES HER OPPORTUNITY FOR THE OTHER THING SHE OBSESSES ON, KISSING HIM

SO ONCE SOMEONE COMES IN AND INTERRUPTS THEM, LIKE IS CUSTOMARY, SHE FREAKS OUT (IN HER INTERVIEW)

DRAMA LLAMA++
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:28 AM   #27
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UGH THIS PARTY NEVER FUCKING ENDS

JUBILEE TELLS BEN THAT SHE WAS ADOPTED (OMG GIRL STAY STRONG KEEP AT IT)

THEY KISS AND MAKE A NICE CONNECTION AWWWWWWW

AND LACE IS GETTIN CRUNK MAN OH MAN

LACE: "I'M NOT CRAZY I JUST NEED ONE MORE MINUTE"

RIIIIIIIGHT

UNDERSTANDABLY, EVERYONE IS PISSED

LACE COMES BACK, BIG AWKWARD SILENCE, EVERYONE GLARING AT LACE

BEN TAKES JOJO UP TO THE HELIPAD AND THEY MAKE OUT

KISS COUNT: 3

UH-OH, HERE COMES THE ROSE

THIS IS SUUUUPER SCRIPTED

AND IT'S...

Spoiler: show
JOJO

GUESS WHO JUST GOT HERSELF A ONE-WAY TICKET TO POUND TOWN
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:49 AM   #28
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ALRIGHT ITS TIME FOR THE FIRST ONE ON ONE WITH CAILA

SHE'S A NORMAL PERSON YAY!!!

CHRIS HARRISON IS PLANNING THIS DATE, WHICH MEANS THE PRODUCERS ARE PLANNING THE DATE, WHICH MEANS THAT THEY'RE TRYING TO PASS OFF THEM BEING STINGY AS A FUN THEME

AND THE THEME IS "CHEAP"

WHICH MEANS ITS ICE CUBE AND KEVIN HART

I DON'T ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND THIS CROSS PROMOTION OR WHAT DEMOGRAPHIC THEY'RE TRYING TO HIT BUT

GOTTA LOVE THE ADDITION OF RACIAL TENSION TO THE ROMANTIC TENSION

IT'S LIKE A STRANGE MANZAI ACT BUT WITH AFRICAN AMERICANS AND LIQUOR STORES AND HOT TUBS

AND KEVIN HART IS NAKED IN THE HOT TUB

BACK AT THE HOUSE, WEIRD LITTLE MOMENT WITH THE MOM FACETIMING HER KIDS GOING DOWN THE SLIDE

AND ONE MORE DATE CARD!

Spoiler: show
UGH ANOTHER GROUP DATE

TWIN
RUSSIAN GIRL
SAM(ANTHA)
TV ANCHOR
TWIN
MOM

ARE WE A PERFECT MATCH?

~BEN


NOW FOR THE NIGHT TIME PART OF THE DATE? WHAT WILL IT BE? A WEIRD BAND? A STRANGE EVENT? SOME SORT OF "ROMANTIC" WORLD RECORD?

SADLY WE HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THEM TALKING ABOUT THEIR BORING LIVES

ONCE SHE EXPLAINS HOW SHE MET HER LAST BOYFRIEND ON A PLANE HE GIVES HER THE ROSE AND THEY WALK TO A THEATER AND...

Spoiler: show
WOW IT'S ACTUALLY SOMEONE KINDA FAMOUS WEIRD

AMOS LEE IS ACTUALLY A REAL RECORDING ARTIST AND I OWN SOME OF HIS ALBUMS

SHE, HOWEVER, STILL PRETTY OBVIOUSLY PRETENDS TO KNOW HIM

THEY LIE FOR THE CAMERA ABOUT HOW THIS IS THEIR FAVORITE SONG

NEXT UP: GROUP DATE DISASTERS!
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:59 AM   #29
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ALRIGHT MORE GROUP DATE

THIS ONE IS ALREADY LOOKING TO BE WEIRDLY SEXUAL

OF COURSE, SINCE THEY ARE CLEARLY STRAPPED FOR CASH, THEY MUST SHOEHORN AN UNNECESSARY PRODUCT PLACEMENT MOMENT WITH THE WEIRD IPAD CAMERA STICK ROBOT THAT THEY VERY CONSPICUOUSLY SHOW THE BRAND OF

THEY ALL GO INTO A WEIRD ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF ACTORS DRESSED AS SCIENTISTS AND DO A TON OF WEIRD "TESTS" TO MEASURE HOW IN LOVE THEY ARE

NEEDLESS TO SAY, THESE WOMEN PROCEED TO EMBARRASS THEMSELVES

THEY DO A RETINAL TRACKING TEST WHICH IS WEIRD BUT OKAY

BUT THE SECOND TEST IS A SWEAT SMELL TEST

AND THEY MAKE HIM SMELL THESE WOMEN'S NECKS AND HIPS

BECAUSE THEIR "REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS GIVE OFF PHEROMONES"

GOD ARE THE RATINGS REALLY THAT LOW

THIS IS UNBELIEVABLY CREEPY AND HE DESCRIBES THE GIRLS LIKE THEY'RE FRUITS

AND FINALLY, THEY PUT BEN AND ONE OF THE WOMEN IN WEIRD BORDERLINE SEXUAL SITUATIONS AND BROADCAST A THERMAL IMAGE OF THEM TO THE OTHERS

YEP RATINGS MUST BE IN THE TOILET

(SHIRTLESS COUNT: 3)

AFTER SOME MORE PSUEDO-SCIENTIFIC MUMBO JUMBO, THEY "SCIENTIFICALLY" RATE THE WOMEN ON "COMPATABILITY"

OFFICIAL BACHELOR POWER RANKINGS
  • SAM(ANTHA) 2.5
  • OTHER PEOPLE
  • TV ANCHOR 7.5

AND BOY DOES THIS IMMEDIATELY GO TO HER HEAD
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:09 AM   #30
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TO CONTINUE THIS BEING WEIRDLY SEXUAL, THEY GO BACK TO HIS HOTEL FOR THE WEIRD PARTY

HE IMMEDIATELY TAKES OFF WITH TV ANCHOR GIRL AND GUESS WHAT JEALOUSY ABOUNDS

KISS COUNT: 4

THERE IS A WEIRD CONVERSATION ABOUT WHERE THEY ARE GOING TO GO TO SIT AND IT TURNS INTO SOME SORT OF FIGHT???

HE FEELS BAD FOR SAYING A GIRL SMELLS SOUR AND TELLS HER THAT SHE SMELLS LIKE PASSION FRUIT

THEY ALL REALLY HOPE THAT "SCIENCE" IS WRONG

THE MOM PULLS HIM ASIDE AND THEY HAVE A WEIRD LITTLE CONVERSATION ABOUT HER KIDS

HE IS WEIRDLY INTO IT

KISS COUNT: 5

AND, WHEN HE GRABS THE ROSE, AFTER ANOTHER WEIRDLY CANNED CONVO, WE HAVE, NO SURPRISE...

Spoiler: show
TV ANCHOR GIRL

CRAZY #2, RIGHT HERE
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:25 AM   #31
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TIME FOR THE COCKTAIL PARTY!!!

BEN BRINGS BACK UP THE SMELLING THING AND EVERYONE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

IMMEDIATELY, TV ANCHOR SOLIDIFIES HER SPOT AS CRAZY #2 BY STEALING HIM AWAY AND TAKING HIM WAYYYY OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE DESPITE ALREADY HAVING A ROSE

AND SINCE HE IS A TOTAL PUSHOVER, THEY START TO MAKE OUT AGAIN

KISS COUNT: 6, 7, 8, 9

AND LACE IS OFFENDED (OF COURSE) SO SHE AND OLIVIA GO OFF AND TALK

AND LACE IS ALREADY PRETTY DRUNK

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEE

THEY HAVE A REALLY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE CONVERSATION WHERE TV ANCHOR TRIES TO DEFEND HER ACTIONS BY PITYING LACE FOR BEING INSANE

LACE CONTINUES TO TALK ABOUT HOW CRAZY SHE IS AND KEEPS DRAGGING BEN INTO ALL OF IT, FORCING HIM TO TALK IN CIRCLES

AND LACE BASICALLY SHOUTS EVERY SINGLE INSECURITY SHE HAS EVER HAD OFF THE BALCONY, COMPLETELY IN EARSHOT OF EVERY OTHER WOMAN RIGHT BEFORE SHE'S INTERRUPTED AGAIN BY A BLONDE GIRL

AND SHE GOES INTO HER ROOM AND BEGINS TO SOB

MEANWHILE, ALL THE GIRLS THAT NO ONE REMEMBERS COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO BEN

BEN PULLS ASIDE ONE OF THE GIRLS AND GIVES HIM A CREEPY STALKER CAM PICTURE OF THEM TALKING ON THE FIRST NIGHT

(SPOILER: IT IS ACTUALLY A TICKET FOR THE TRAIN TO POUND TOWN)

POUND TOWN TRAIN TICKET COUNT: 2

HE ALSO GIVES ANOTHER BLONDE GIRL A "FIRST PLACE RIBBON FOR BIGGEST EXPLOSION AT THE SCIENCE FAIR"

EWWWW

POUND TOWN TRAIN TICKET COUNT: 3

AWWW HE ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING LESS CREEPY AND MAKES HAIR BERETS FOR THE MOM'S LITTLE GIRLS THIS IS STRANGELY PRECIOUS

AND NOW, MOST INEFFECTUAL HOST, CHRIS HARRISON, FORCES BEN TO LEAVE

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:33 AM   #32
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THE ROSE CEREMONY
LET'S GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH

LACE CONTINUES TO SPEW HER INSECURITIES TO THE CAMERA

THE ROSED
MOM
JUBILEE (YASSSSS)
LAUREN B. (CREEPER SHOT GIRL)
LEAH (who)
VIRGIN EXTRAORDINAIRE (UGH GO HOME)
RACHEL (HUH)
LACE (WHOA!!!!!!!!)
ELBIE...

UM SO

Spoiler: show
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CEREMONY, ELBIE FUKKIN QUITS OMG WHAT

SO UH...

MOVING RIGHT ALONG I GUESS

JENNIFER (I THINK THEY MADE OUT ONCE)
TWIN (RATING GIMMICK NUMBER ONE)
JAMI (WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN)
LAUREN H. (WHO)
RUSSIAN GIRL
TWIN (RATING GIMMICK NUMBER TWO)


AND HERE COMES CHRIS TO ANNOUNCE!!!

FINAL ROSE OMGGGGG

IT'S...

Spoiler: show
AMBER

UGH GO AWAY LAST SEASON REJECT
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Old 01-16-2016, 10:38 AM   #33
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SO THE GOOD NEWS IS, THEY'VE KICKED OFF THE GROSS DENTIST

THE BAD(?) NEWS IS, WE'RE STILL STUCK WITH THE CRAZIES, THE TWINS, AND BOTH OF THE VETERANS

AND THE WOMAN BETRAYED BY SCIENCE HAS A REALLY SAD, SOBBING MOMENT ON HER WAY TO THE LIMO

WHO WANTS TO BET SHE BECOMES A CREATIONIST

NEXT WEEK...
THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY

TV ANCHOR VS. LACE

JUBILEE'S MILITARY SIDE COMES OUT

IDK MORE CRYING AND SHIT

AND ANOTHER WEIRD POST-CREDITS SCENE WHERE THE PRODUCERS CONTINUE TO PUSH KEVIN HART ON US

WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT'S IT FOR TODAY, SEE YOU NEXT WEEK FRIENDS
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Old 01-17-2016, 11:47 PM   #34
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No wonder nothing ever gets done in ASB.
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Old 01-24-2016, 02:28 PM   #35
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ALRIGHT PARTY PEOPLE

I KNOW I'M A LITTLE LATE THIS WEEK BUT WE'RE GOING TO GET GOING

SO LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEE

TONIGHT ON THE BACHELOR

PLANES

STADIUMS

AUTOMOBILES

AND MORE MAKING OUT

AND SOBBING

LOTS OF SOBBING
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Old 01-24-2016, 02:36 PM   #36
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ALREADY GETTIN STARTED WITH THE GOSSIP

TV ANCHOR BEGINS TO SHOW HER CRAZY

CHRIS HARRISON CONTINUES TO BE USELESS AND TALK ABOUT HOW THE SHOW WORKS

AND THANK THE LORD HE ALSO INFORMS US THAT WE WILL NOT HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH TWO GROUP DATES THIS WEEK

PRAISE GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE

FIRST DATE CARD AND IT'S...

Spoiler: show
LAUREN B.

THE SKY'S THE LIMIT


HUH

WHO IS THIS BITCH

SHE'S A FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND HE'S TAKING HER TO AN AIRPORT LOL

THEY'RE FLYING A BIPLANE

THIS IS PROBABLY FUN TO DO BUT INCREDIBLY BORING TO WATCH

AND OF COURSE THEY START KISSING BUT IT'S SUPER AWKWARD

LOLOLOL THEY FLY OVER THE MANSION AND ALL THE WOMEN FREAK

WOW THE PRODUCERS ARE PRETTY LEGITIMATELY CRUEL
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Old 01-24-2016, 02:43 PM   #37
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HE BRINGS HER TO BASICALLY THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE

WHERE THERE IS MAGICALLY A WORKING HOT TUB

SOMEHOW

AND A TOTALLY SUBTLE CLOSE-UP OF THE BRAND NAME

BACK AT THE MANSION, THE GIRLS REALIZE THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY A RIDICULOUS FARCE THAT EXISTS SO WE CAN GAWK AT PEOPLE'S EMOTIONAL INSECURITIES AND THEIR HEARTS BEING BROKEN AND THEY BEGIN TO HAVE CRISES

TAKE A PAGE FROM THE BOOK OF MORMON AND JUST TURN IT OFF LADIES

LIKE A LIGHTSWITCH

JUST GO CLICK

IT'S A COOL LITTLE MORMON TRICK
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Old 01-24-2016, 02:50 PM   #38
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BORING DATE SHIT, SHE TALKS ABOUT HER DAD BLAH WHATEVER

DATE CARD TIME

Spoiler: show
GROUP DATE

AMANDA
TWIN
JENNIFER
RUSSIAN
LEAH
VET
LAUREN H
TV ANCHOR
JAMI
RACHEL
LACE
EMILY

LOVE IS THE GOAL


IDK 50% OF THEM

AND THE DATE IS SOCCER THEMED, WHICH IS WEIRD

THIS LEAVES VIRGIN, THAT ONE GIRL I LIKE, JUBILEE AND SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE ONE ON ONES (SPOILER IT'S JUBILEE)

BEN AND WHOEVER SHE IS TALK MORE ABOUT THEIR FATHERS FOR SOME REASON

AND THEN HE GIVES HER A ROSE SO WHATEVER I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY WHO SHE IS FOR ANOTHER WEEK

AND LOOK IT'S THEIR "FAVORITE BAND"

I'VE NOTICED THAT A HUGE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE COUNTRY SINGERS FOR SOME REASON

DO COUNTRY BUMPKIN WHITE FOLK MOSTLY WATCH THIS SHOW???
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:02 PM   #39
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THE GROUP DATE BEGINS

AND THEY THINK THEY'RE PLAYING FOOTBALL

I GUESS THEY'RE NOT TOTALLY WRONG???

ONE GIRL ADMITS TO HAVING "ZERO BALL HANDLING SKILLS"

NEEDLESS TO SAY THIS IS EMBARRASSING FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS

PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE GETS BALLS IN THE FACE

BACK AT THE HOUSE FUCKING EVERYONE STARTS TO CRY ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY HAVEN'T HAD 1 ON 1'S YET



C'MON THIS IS WEEK GODDAMMNED TWO THERE HAVE BEEN A GRAND TOTAL OF THREE DATES SO FAR THAT DON'T INVOLVE GROSS SEX JOKES COOL YA JETS

JUBILEE STARTS CRYING ABOUT HOW SHE'S SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED AND DARK AND I'M STARTING TO LOSE RESPECT

BACK AT THE STADIUM, CHRIS HARRISON WANDERS OUT AND MAKES FUN OF EVERYONE LOOKING SUPER WEIRD IN A JERSEY

AND OF COURSE, SINCE IT'S CHRIS HARRISON, THAT MEANS GIMMICKS!!!!

THIS TIME, IT'S A GAME OF SOCCER WHERE THE LOSING TEAM GOES BACK TO THE MANSION!!!
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:08 PM   #40
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OVERLY DRAMATIC MUSIC

STARS VS. STRIPES

LACE COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTANDS THE BASIC RULES OF SOCCER

THIS IS ACTUALLY ALMOST ENTERTAINING

I WOULD WATCH A LOT MORE SOCCER IF IT WERE CUT LIKE A REALITY SHOW

SADLY THERE IS A TIE AND FOR SOME REASON INSTEAD OF GOING TO PENALTY KICKS LIKE NORMAL SOCCER, THEY PLAY GOLDEN GOAL

WHICH IS LIKE, THE SHITTIEST WAY TO END A GAME OF ANYTHING

(SEE I KNOW SOME SPORTS THINGS)

AND THERE IS AN INJURY

AND OF COURSE, CRAZYASS TV ANCHOR IS LIKE "IM GONNA KICK THE BITCH WHEN SHE'S DOWN"

BUT VET GIRL MANAGES TO SCORE BEFORE SHE CAN

STRIPES WIN!!!!
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:19 PM   #41
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THE STARS GO HOME AND CRY A LITTLE

AND NOW WE HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER AWKWARD PARTY

EXCEPT FOR TV ANCHOR GIRL IMMEDIATELY CRASHES IT AND TAKES HIM UP TO HIS HOTEL ROOM

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHOWS IT OFF TO THE REST OF THEM

MAN THIS BITCH

AND THE GIRLS GET SUUUUPER VINDICTIVE IMMEDIATELY AND START TO TALK ABOUT HOW HER TOES AREN'T CUTE???

SO VETERAN GIRL (I THINK) TAKES TV ANCHOR ASIDE AND TELLS HER HOW MUCH THEY'RE SHITTING ON HER TOES

IT IS NOT AS DRAMATIC AS THEY TRY TO MAKE IT

BUT IN THE MEANTIME DATE CARD!!!

Spoiler: show
THANK GOD THAT MEANS WE'RE AT THE HOME STRETCH

Spoiler: show
SURPRISE IT'S JUBILEE

LOL SHE FREAKS THE FUCK OUT


LOVE IS IN THE AIR


THE PARTY CONTINUES AND ALL THE GIRLS START TO SEEM JUST A LITTLE BIT CRAZY

MAKEOUT COUNTER: 1 (WOW IT TOOK 40 WHOLE MINUTES THIS TIME)

VETERAN GIRL GETS THE ROSE

TV ANCHOR LOOKS INSANELY BITTER BUT TRIES TO RATIONALIZE HER NOT GETTING THE ROSE
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:36 PM   #42
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ALRIGHT TIME FOR JUBILEE

SHE IS REALLY DOUBTING HERSELF AND IT'S KINDA SAD

SHE IS ALREADY RUINING THIS FOR HERSELF

AS ONE OF THE GIRLS SAID SHE IS BEING "AWKOTACO"

WHATEVER THAT MEANS

OH GOD AND THEY'RE TAKING A HELICOPTER RIDE AND SHE IS AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

SHE ASKS THE OTHER GIRLS IF THEY WANT TO GO ON HER DATE

AND MAN THE GIRLS ARE PISSED

WELL OKAY CAILA

THIS IS BASICALLY THE SAME DATE AS BEFORE BUT IN A DIFFERENT VEHICLE

BUT THIS TIME THEY GO TO A REAL SPA INSTEAD OF A WEIRD LITTLE HOT TUB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT

THEY GO EAT THIS REALLY NICE FOOD AND JUBILEE SPITS IT OUT

THEY START TALKING ABOUT HOT DOGS AND IT'S NOT AWKWARD AT ALL

(i'd like to chew on your hot dog *waggle)

THERE'S THIS WEIRD LITTLE MOMENT OF RACIAL TENSION AND WELL

IT GOES JUST ABOUT AS WELL AS YOU WOULD THINK IT WOULD

OBJECTIVELY THIS SHIT IS TANKING BUT SOMEHOW THEY ARE STILL INTO IT

JUBILEE "INTRIGUES" HIM

THEY HAVE THEIR DATE AND JUBILEE OPENS UP

AND SHE IS ACTUALLY AN INTERESTING PERSON

REFRESHING

(awww she actually has kind of a sad story where all her family in haiti died and she got adopted that's pretty legitimately tragic)
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:46 PM   #43
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MAN THE GIRLS THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING HOME

THEY'RE ALL WEIRDLY JEALOUS AND THINK THAT SHE IS SUDDENLY A HUGE BITCH SO UM WHATEVER

SUPER TERRIBLE COCKTAIL PARTY GO

LACE, AFTER HAVING A WEEK OF ACTING LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN, REALIZES THAT SHE MIGHT BE IN DANGER BECAUSE SHE IS ACTING NORMAL AND DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAVE MUCH PERSONALITY

AND THEN SUDDENLY BEN COMES IN AND SHARES THAT TWO PEOPLE IN HIS FAMILY DIED IN A PLANE CRASH

SHIT'S GETTIN REAL YO

AND THEN IMMEDIATELY TV ANCHOR GIRL GOES FOR THE KILL

AND START TALKING ABOUT HER FUCKING LEGS



BEN IS UNDERSTANDABLY INSULTED

JUBILEE IS WEIRDLY QUIET

OK SO MAYBE SHE IS ACTUALLY BEING A BITCH BUT LIKE

SHE WALKED INTO A ROOM AND THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY LEFT

WOW POOR GIRL

AND NOW SHE'S DRAGGING BEN OFF AND GIVING HIM A MASSAGE, WHICH IS KINDA WEIRD

AND EVERYONE IS UNDERSTANDABLY KINDA PISSED

BEN APPRECIATES IT OF COURSE BUT THE OTHER GIRLS SURE AS SHIT DO NOT
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:54 PM   #44
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THE MASSAGE ENDS AND JUBILEE BASICALLY STORMS OUT

SHE HAS THIS WEIRD CONVERSATION WITH ONE OF THE GIRLS ABOUT THE MASSAGE

VETERAN GIRL AND SOME OF THE OTHERS DECIDE THEY NEED TO CALL HER OUT

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!



SHE GOES INTO THE FUCKIN BATHROOM

AND BEN GETS INVOLVED UH OHHHH

LACE IS STARTIN TO FEEL THE HEAT

AND FOR SOME REASON VET GIRL DECIDES SHE REALLY NEED TO CONFRONT JUBILEE THIS VERY MOMENT WITH BEN IN THE ROOM ABOUT THE DRAMA

AND BEN STEPS IN AND SHUTS SHIT DOWN THANK GOD

AND HERE COMES LACE AGAIN, ROLLIN IN THE CRAZY
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Old 01-24-2016, 04:02 PM   #45
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THANK GOD IT IS ALMOST OVER

LACE PULLS BEN OUT ONTO THE FRONT STEP AND HAS A REALLY WEIRD NEUROTIC CONVERSATION WITH HIM

WELL OKAY STARTS RATHER

AND SHE SURPRISE SURPRISE

Spoiler: show
GOES THE FUCK HOME

BYEEEEE

YEAH YOU NEED TO GO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER


THEY ALL "COMFORT" BEN AS LACE GOES TO SOB IN THE BUSHES

ALRIGHT BITCHES IT'S TIME FOR THE THING THAT WE'VE ALL BEEN DREADING

ROSE CEREMONY

THE ROSED
LAUREN H (SUPER MIDWEST)
AMANDA (NO CLUE)
VIRGIN EXTRAORDINAIRE (UGH GO HOME)
TWIN ONE
TWIN TWO
RACHEL (WHO)
CAILA
JOJO (THE DATELESS WONDER)
JENNIFER (IDK)
LEAH (MORE BLONDS)

UH OH NO TV ANCHOR GIRL

AND YOU GUESSED IT IT'S THE FINAL ROSE

Spoiler: show
TV ANCHOR GIRL

BOOO

OH WELL AT LEAST WE GOT RID OF ONE OF THE VETERANS

AND ALSO THE RUSSIAN GIRL SO NO BIG LOSS THERE


ALRIGHT THAT EPISODE WAS A TRAINWRECK
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Old 01-24-2016, 04:05 PM   #46
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TV ANCHOR GIRL CONTINUES TO ACT LIKE SHE HAS IT 100% IN THE BAG AND IS SUPER SMUG AND OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT

NEXT WEEK!!!

THEY GO TO FUCKING VEGAS UGH

EW HE GOES ON A WEIRD WEDDING THEMED DATE WITH BECCA

UH OH TV ANCHOR GETS SUUUUUPER WEIRDLY JEALOUS AND HAS A HUGE BREAKDOWN

WELL THAT WILL BE A FUN ONE

UNTIL NEXT WEEK FRIENDS
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:26 PM   #47
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Fuck off this is better.
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Old 01-25-2016, 11:44 AM   #48
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This is the best thread.
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Because I look damn good in a dress.
Fizzy Bubbles Team
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Wild Future
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Old 01-27-2016, 11:46 PM   #49
Blastoise
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I just saw this thread, and I commend you for letting me feel the sheer cringe of everything about this show without actually having to watch it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Emi View Post
No that's Jeri. He's less obnoxious and is actually humorous.
This is correct, but you are still a faggot the second (third?) best ghost gym leader.
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Old 01-28-2016, 12:32 AM   #50
Sneaze
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Killy existed. Emi might be as low as fourth. =o
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Wild Future - FizzBy
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Whatever Sneasel says is right
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