Thread: The Bachelor
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Old 01-11-2016, 08:39 PM   #19
Jerichi
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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BROADCAST SCHEDULE UPDATE
SO AS THE FEW OF YOU WHO LIVE IN THE US AND PAY ATTENTION TO THINGS LIKE TELEVISION SCHEDULES (I KNOW I DON'T) MIGHT KNOW, THE BACHELOR AIRS PRETTY MUCH EVERY MONDAY FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS IN THE WINTER

I, HOWEVER, HAVE AN ACTUAL LIFE AND REAL OBLIGATIONS SO I WILL BE WATCHING IT PROBABLY ROUGHLY A WEEK BEHIND SCHEDULE ON A STREAMING SERVICE, NAMELY THE ONLY GOOD ONE, HULU

IT ALSO HELPS THAT THIS SHOW IS AIRED ON ABC, WHOSE PRODUCTION VALUES ARE ROUGHLY EQUIVALENT TO THAT OF A DAYTIME TELENOVELA FILMED IN YOUR ABUELITA'S BACKYARD, SO THE SHOWS FOR WHICH THEY DO NOT HAVE TO ACTUALLY PAY WRITERS ARE JAM PACKED WITH COMMERCIALS AIMED AT THEIR CAPTIVE AUDIENCES

NEEDLESS TO SAY, YA'LL BITCHES GONNA WAIT

IN THE MEANTIME, ENJOY MY SHORT ESSAY, ENTITLED WHY CHRIS HARRISON IS THE MOST USELESS REALITY SHOW HOST EVER

WHY CHRIS HARRISON IS THE MOST USELSS REALITY SHOW HOST EVER
BY JERI CHEE

Spoiler: show
Spoiler: show


THIS IS CHRIS HARRISON. HE IS THE HOST OF THE SHOW. HE IS CHARMING AND HANDSOME AND APPARENTLY WROTE HIS OWN BOOK??? HE IS ALSO THE WORST PART OF THE SHOW.


HERE HE IS WITH A HORSE. THE HORSE IS ALREADY BORED.

HE IS PRETTY MUCH 100% INEFFECTUAL AND PRETTY MUCH HIS ONLY ROLE IN THE SHOW IS TO TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE. YOU COULD EASILY SAVE A LOT OF MONEY AND IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF THE SHOW TENFOLD BY REPLACING HIM WITH A SHOW-HOSTING ROBOT


HERE HE IS STARING AWKWARDLY AT BEN'S CROTCH. STRANGELY THIS IS NOT THE MOST AWKWARD THING HE'S DOING RIGHT NOW.

THE WORST PART OF ALL OF IS THE ROSE CEREMONY, WHERE THE PRODUCERS FORCE HIM TO HOBBLE OUT OF HIS CORNER TO INFORM US THAT THERE IS ONE! ROSE! LEFT!

IT INCREASES THE SUSPENSE EXACTLY EQUAL TO THE SUSPENSE TIMES THE NUMBER OF REMAINING ROSES


HERE HE IS DURING THE OFF SEASON, ROCKIN THAT DIRTY SCRUFF

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL IS THAT HE IS 100% AWARE OF HOW MUCH OF A VESTIGIAL PART OF THE SHOW HE IS. HE HAS STATED MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE BASICALLY HAS NO REASON TO BE THERE

IN SUMMARY, CHRIS SUCKS AND I WILL BE SKIPPING LITERALLY EVERY INTERVIEW HE DOES THIS SEASON

JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR MORE CRAZY ANTICS!!!!

Last edited by Jerichi; 01-11-2016 at 08:44 PM.
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