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Lady Kuno 04-04-2014 04:35 PM

GM II: Double Sided Melee
Welcome to the Grand Melee II: Double Sided Melee
After the last Melee in winter, things are starting to defrost and warm up. And so is our passion for giant death matches. This time we have some new twists to a classic. Below are some of the major changes:

  • 20 People will now be able to compete.
  • The arena will now "flip" when 8 Pokemon remain. This will introduce a brand new arena to finish the fight. At that point trainers will be allowed to select a new Pokemon. Even if they do not switch, all Pokemon will be fully healed and reassigned new locations.
  • Totally awesome adjustments to weather moves, "room" attacks and terrain moves. They will now take more energy to use the more they get used by anyone. Room attacks will be no larger than one square.
  • Magic room can be entered/exited by using an attack to do so. You still cannot see inside/outside of it, and attacks cannot enter or exit.
  • No wild Pokemon.

Info From Last Thread:

Spoiler: show
Grand Melee Info:
Da Rules
You may use your own Pokemon, however no sigs/HP/badges/tokens will be allowed
It will be equilevel but not equi-evo.
Since I will be the only ref, 20 people max are allowed
A strict 24 hour DQ will be enforced, with more details below. Not sending attacks will have the Pokemon play passively and try to dodge. Missing 3 deadlines will have you disqualified.
It will be done in 4/6 style because fuck the haters.

Basic Info
Unlike past Grand Melees, there will be no trainers. Instead, you will see/hear whatever your Pokemon sees/hears via a super dooper indestructible headset. This will allow you to see/hear what it sees, as well as issue orders.
The casters of the event will be casting from the middle of the arena. Their casters booth is a large room floating in the air. They will provide reffing coverage based on what they can see down below, as well as a few hidden cameras around the arena. This is what everyone will see each round and will be referred to as the "general reffing". Like a normal GM, each trainer will also receive a personalized reffing (with much less detail if there is not much happening) to say what they see and hear, etc.
In addition to the regular reffing duo, Pimp Master Jay will be the "at the scene" correspondent. He will Teleport around to the action and say what he sees down below. Even if attacked, he will not attack any participants, but he will probably use barrier moves, and if pissed off, might taunt or do something mean.

Signing Up
Due to the nature of the fact I will be the only ref, there is a limit on participants. I will allow only 20 people to enter. Having one ref means I will be responsible for everything, and if there is a fuck up, I'd rather it be me drop the ball and take the blame then having a ref with half the Pokemon HP/energy vanish and try to pick up the pieces midway.
Selecting participants will not be first come first serve. Instead, it will be randomly decided using RNG. To ensure an even spread of trainers (rather than 1 level 6 with a legend vs 15 level 1s..), there will be a set number of trainers at each Trainer Level:

4 Seeded from last GM (Top 4 winners, Redpanda, Charm, Mozz, Rangeet)
5 Participants TL 5 or higher
5 Participants TL 3-4
3 Participants TL 1-2
2 Random from every group
1 Kuno's Pick

The RNGing will go in that order. This will all be done on stream to ensure I'm not biased (not that I would be, but it might be fun to watch). If 5 TL+ trainers do not enter, the empty spot will drop down and there will be 6 TL 3-4s who enter, etc. Signups will close Friday, and I will do the RNG stream Friday afternoon (EST). So when you sign up in this thread, please list your Trainer Level or I will ignore your post.

The Arena

Welcome to Fanfiction Island!


This large circular island is home to the lovely Fanfiction village, just north of the arena, inaccessible to our battlers. The lowest parts of the island are beach-like, and the higher points are generally more wooded.

A-1 - Teleporter Path - The path to the teleporter (not accessible to battlers) is the highest point of the island. This is also the northwest corner of the arena.

B-1/C-1 - Fanfiction Bridge - A large wooden bridge connecting the two islands. It is fairly sturdy and also fairly high up from the water.

A-2 - Classic Bridge - A large stone bridge connecting the two islands. It is just above water level. connecting the two beaches. However Pokemon can swim under it to travel across. It is exceptionally well made.

D-2/D-3 - Dragon Beach - This beautiful sandy beach is a popular attraction for tourists.

A-4 - Chef's Peak - The second highest spot on the island. It is also a massive forest.

Center - Casters Desk SUPERION CHAMBER - Where your lovely hosts cast the match from. It is floating 100 feet into the air, so Pokemon can freely walk (swim or fly) under it. It is now invisible. Awesome.

You may also choose your top 3 starting positions (the numbers on the map). There is no guarantee you will get any of them, as it will be randomized a bit. But those who picked a spot no one else wanted will go there, etc.

The Schedule
Friday the 4th - Deadline for Entries
Friday the 4th - RNGing for participants
Thursday the 10th - Pokemon must be PMed to me
Friday the 11th - Introductory reffing, locations given with surrounding detail, etc. All private reffings after this will be lacking in detail if there is nothing happening. Don't expect a huge essay about how you waited around to see if anyone walked by. This is a huge undertaking, cut me some slack.

Saturday the 12th and onwards - All attacks must be given to me by 5 PM EST. That will be the deadline every day. I will try my absolute best to have the reffing that night before I go to sleep. If something goes wrong and I get preoccupied, I will post and say there's a delay and ref ASAP. That is the only time there isn't a deadline the next day. Otherwise, every 5 PM will be the deadline, regardless of when at night the round was reffed. If you cannot do this, then please do not sign up.

Due to the nature of this massive undertaking, I will not be able to re-ref anything. I'm sorry if this is going to screw someone over, as mistakes do happen but.. barring hp/energy mistakes or huuuuge errors, changing how a round was reffed will take as long as doing an entire round. It's not just a matter of editing my general round reffing, but I'd have to look up who was involved and send changed PMs to people. It wont be easy so I want to avoid it. If small mistakes were made then I apologize.

Please take any questions to the Grand Melee Time Out thread. This thread will just be for posting that you want to join and your Trainer Level. That is it.

Have fun and good luck!

Here is a list of those who managed to get in.

Spoiler: show
Red Panda

TL 5+:

TL 3-4:

TL 1-2:


Kuno's Pick:
Dream Breaker

Kuno's Second Pick:

What I want right now, is for all participants to PM Grand Melee with their sigless Pokemon they are using. Remember it is only equilevel, so give me its current evolutionary form. In addition, please pick 3 starting locations as your preferred spot. To indicate which you'd like, use W or L for water or land to differentiate the two. So if you want to start in the middle of the lake, send me your Pokemon and then W5 for Water 5. And then two more spots. These do no guarantee anything, but you may be likely to end up in one of these spots.

A few other points to hit before we officially start. Use this time to ask about the arena. Some stuff will remain a mystery, but if anyone has any basic questions I can answer it (in the TO thread).

Every round the map will have points on them, showing where Pokemon are. There will be no markings on these, so you will have to judge which one is you based on your first round location. I will give co-ordinates the first round, and then say which cardinal direction you travel, if you do move. You will have to be on top of figuring out which dot is yours each round.

Due to the nature of this massive undertaking, I will not be able to re-ref anything. I'm sorry if this is going to screw someone over, as mistakes do happen but.. barring hp/energy mistakes or huuuuge errors, changing how a round was reffed will take as long as doing an entire round. It's not just a matter of editing my general round reffing, but I'd have to look up who was involved and send changed PMs to people. It wont be easy so I want to avoid it. If small mistakes were made then I apologize.

The account that all these PMs are going to the account named "Grand Melee". That is also where your private reffings will be recieved from. So go ahead and PM that account and that account only with your Pokemon and 3 preferred spots.

Please take any questions to the Grand Melee Time Out thread. This thread is going to be for the reffings each round.

May the odds ever be in your favor.

Lady Kuno 04-09-2014 04:02 AM

A main screen turns on. The screen shows static for a few seconds before an image finally shows. A catchy tune starts to play with the text "The Grand Melee Show". After a few moments the text fades and shows a room filled with a plethora of monitors and sensors. At the central desk are two well dressed individuals. Behind them, is a solemn looking Pokemon, a Mr. Mime. The camera focuses on the two individuals as they get ready to speak.

Kuno-kun: So.. how much did you all miss us? Welcome to the next Grand Melee! This time, it's personal!

Kuno-chan: Man, you couldn't wait just a little bit before using that joke? It doesn't even make sense when you say it like that.

Kuno-kun: Ehh.. whatever. Anyway, here we are at the most excellent Fanfiction Island. There are no Dragon Chefs here this time!

Kuno-chan: Yes they were all safely relocated. And in their place we have 16 battlers on land and 4 on the high seas.

Kuno-kun: Or low seas! Anyway, Pimp Master Jay just finished placing our competitors. Why don't we head on over to the map?


Kuno-chan: Excellent work. It looks like we have some interesting areas, as well as some random empty spots. Who knows how this will turn out.

Kuno-kun: It'll end in death.

Kuno-chan: Yeah, maybe. Also this time around Pimp Master Jay will be much more aggressive about teleporting in order to get even more action.

Kuno-kun: I think that's all I have to say for now. Any final thoughts?

Kuno-chan: I think this arena will be much more interesting than last time. Although there are no random death trains, there is still quite a bit that can go bonkers. We have to wait and see how it plays out.

Kuno-kun: Also we have 4 more people than last time, the four seeded players.

Kuno-chan: All eyes will be on them! Good luck to them and to everyone else participating. Just avoid any chemical dumps.


Remember there are some varied Pokemon rules. All Pokemon will have an extra boost in energy (7 HBs or so of energy, with 4 HB in health, before any legend etc bonuses), and energy will recover at some pace when not in battle. However this extra boost in energy should not encourage massive attack spam, as being continually forced to do very powerful attacks in close succession will still cause a Pokemon to burn more energy doing said attacks. This change is to allow Pokemon to move around and be able to KO more than one enemy. Multiple rests will also be allowed, with diminishing returns. However these Rests will take twice as long to wake up from. This is to prevent half the participants from being constantly asleep, and to put you at risk for doing so.

Trainers will start off with one 3 move combo they can do. Every 10 rounds that 3-mover will be refreshed. Meaning you can not have 2 saved up. If you fail to use it by round 9 then you will still have only one combo at round 10.


At this point, please PM Grand Melee with your first round actions/attacks. The format for the title should be:

Pokemon Gender - Nickname - Round X

(So for example, Pikachu m - Pikaman - Round 1)

To keep things neat and organized and to help me figure stuff out better.

In addition, when ordering movement, please specify if you want to move as far as you can (about one full square on the grid) at a fast speed (no energy recovery at this level), or move less at a more leisurely pace, etc. Full speed movement counts as an attack, but otherwise, when out of battle, does NOT count as an attack. When you get close it will count as an attack. This is going to be very very tricky and on a case by case basis. Please be understanding if something happens that you didn't expect to happen.

Attack deadline is Friday, the 11th at 5PM EST. After this, each attack will be due in 5 PM est each day.

Lady Kuno 04-10-2014 03:24 AM

Our favorite news team is busy at their desk, typing away furiously. Little do they know, they are being filmed. They are busy watching Twitch Plays Pokemon. Suddenly someone coughs off camera, bringing the dynamic duo back and at full attention.

Kuno-kun: Welcome to the Grand Melee!

Kuno-chan: We did that bit already.

Kuno-kun: Shit, did we?

Kuno-chan: Yeah it's the first round now. Apparently we already have a bit of movement. And zaniness.

Kuno-kun: Also apparently the super awesome fighting sensor is going off. Pimp Master Jay, go take a look.

Our favorite Pimp nods and then vanishes in a flash of light.

He appears on rocky terrain. He is on a rock, watching a few Pokemon duke it out. Apparently he missed the first attack used, because a Drapion looks a bit injured. Who injured said Drapion? A Scolipede not far from it, towards the west. Nearby is also an Electabuzz. Who is currently floating midair via Magnet Rise. Incredible.

Drapion grabs a very large boulder near it and then chucks it at the Scolipede using a Rock Slide! The attack deals a very large amount of damage, on top of it being super effective. Ouch. It wont be happy with that. However the Drapion gets a surprise hit by the nearby Electabuzz! The electric type was gathering some energy, and blasted the poor Drapion with a Thunderbolt! This isn't looking so great for Drapion, as it has enemies on both sides.

Scolipede then draws a bit closer as it gathers a bit of ground energy. It then shuts up and slams, and welcomes Drapion to the Earthquake jam. This is not something Drapion was invited to, but hey you, what are you gonna do? The party people in the house get excited as lots of action happens in the very first round.


Kuno-kun: Well, that Drapion isn't looking so good. But who knows what will happen.

Kuno-chan: We've had crazier stuff happen before.


Remember that all attacks are due by 5 PM EST. But since this is technically "before the GM is supposed to start", you will have until Friday 5 PM EST. But still, just end it to me asap.

Lady Kuno 04-11-2014 03:03 AM

Kuno-kun: Welcome back kids!

Kuno-chan: We'd love to stay and chat, but we left you hanging during a tense fight. Let's hop over to Pimp Master Jay and find out what is going to happen.

The camera switches and we return to the rocky hills. Drapion, Electabuzz and Scolipede seem to be going at it! Drapion goes for another large rock as it picks it up with its hands. However before he can really do anything, the sound pops on the mic. Apparently a CERTAIN Scolipede decided to use a Screech. Thanks, guy. More work for Pimp Master Jay.

Regardless of the mic situation, the camera works just fine! The attack caused Drapion to flinch in pain. Ouch. Behind it, we see the Electabuzz covering its ears as it approaches the Drapion. It seems to be gathering a large bit of electrical energy as well. Before he is ready for his next attack, Drapion gets blasted from behind when the Screech ends with a Zap Cannon! Drapion is paralyzed quite a bit at the moment, and finds moving to do its attacks rather difficult.

Meanwhile Pimp Master Jay notices that there is action elsewhere. He decides to leave a Substitute doll with the mic on its hands, pointed at the battle. Pimp Master Jay then quickly Teleports away to catch the fighting elsewhere.

The Scolipede charges down towards the Drapion, as it is unable to do much at the moment. However before he can land the finishing blow, a Donphan appears near the Scolipede! Is it friend or foe? Well, that depends on who you ask. The Donphan smashes the ground as hard as it can, sending lines of energy towards the Drapion! Under it, the earth sends waves of ground energy directly to Drapion via Earth Power! That seems to be a bit too much for the poor guy. It falls to the ground, KOed. Donphan does a victory Rock Polish as Scolipede speaks into the mic. Too bad we can't hear what it says.

Pimp Master Jay appears elsewhere in the arena. You can see the lake and a bit of the forest. Not far from him is a Medicham and a floating Galvantula. It seems one of them got attacked, but it is unclear who got attacked and by what. He came as fast as he could but it seems like this may be a disappointment. The two battlers also look confused, as they are trying to spot their target. Suddenly a stream of fire comes out of the forest in the form of a Flamethrower! It hits the Galvantula for a good bit of super effective damage! Ouch.

Suddenly the camera pans to the Munchlax hiding in the forest. Busted. The Medicham also spotted the poor guy. He sends him flying back into the forest with a Psyshock.

Kuno-chan: I can't believe its the second round and we already have so much happening.

Kuno-kun: We even have our first KO already!

Kuno-chan: That poor guy. Getting ganged up on by three enemies isn't exactly a fair fight..

Kuno-kun: Luck of the draw, I suppose.

Kuno-chan: That's all for now. Let's end with a look at the minimap.


Lady Kuno 04-12-2014 10:17 AM

The TV screen shows the battle from earlier. A Scolipede, Electabuzz and Donphan can all be seen. The Electabuzz starts things off by glowing very brightly. In a second, it completely vanishes. It seems someone wanted to copy Pimp Master Jay and Teleport the hell out of here. We get our second Pimp Master Jay impersonator when Scolipede uses a Substitute right in front of the camera. It would appear the mind tricking part of Substitute doesn't work over television. A giant fake Scolipede is just hanging out with the plush Substitute doll with the camera. They can be friends.

The Donphan decides to say screw this to everything and rolls out of sight and off the screen down the hill. Scolipede (the real one) decides to leave as well and heads the opposite direction, towards the bridge. All Pokemon are now out of sight, and all that can be seen on the camera is a giant Scolipede doll. Incredible.

Kuno-chan: Oops. It looks like we still have that camera on. Nothing is happening there.

Kuno-kun: Let's take a look at the other camera. Hopefully something more interesting is going down.

The camera focuses in on Munchlax who starts things off by telling Jay to "F off". Incredible. He then takes a deep breath in and lets out a stream of hot air Whirlwind at his two opponents near the water. The Medicham has put up a Light Screen and is otherwise fine, but the Galvantuna get its attack interrupted as it flies back a bit. It inches closer back to its spot when suddenly the Munchlax fires off some more flames. A stream of fire shoots out and hits Galvantula once again, making it look pretty beaten up.

However Medicham was not just idly standing around. It used that time to gather a large amount of fighting spirit in the form of a Focus Blast! The powerful fighting move flies through the air, smacking Munchlax for a ton of damage. The super effective hit does a number on him as he manages to still stand up. The bug decides to take vengeance as an electric attack flies skyward, and then down on the Munchlax! It would appear that the Galvantula has used a Thunder attack!

Munchlax now actually looks a bit worse off than Galvantula, but neither of them are doing very well. Medicham turns to the camera and says "This Munchlax must be trippin". Galvantula attempts to sound badass by saying Munchlax will die a horrible death and be its next meal. It sounds not very threatening due to the current state it is in. Oops.

Kuno-chan can be seen now standing in front of a screen. Behind her is a map of the arena.

Kuno-chan: And now for your GM weather report. We have a bit of a cloud front moving in. It's actually moving in everywhere. It is suddenly very cloudy all over the arena. And it will only get worse. Stay tuned.

She quickly runs back to her regular desk, acting as if though nothing has happened.

Kuno-kun: It looks like we have more people messing with the weather again.

Kuno-chan: Who knows how long it'll last! Either way, it won't really start raining until next round.

Kuno-kun: We have an interesting mini-map this time. What do you make of it?

Kuno-chan: Something must have happened that we missed because we really don't know why everyone is moving around so much. Maybe we'll figure it out next round.

Kuno-kun: Maybe. See ya then!



The attacks for the next round are due tomorrow at 5 PM est. Don't forget! (But please send them in asap anyway)

Lady Kuno 04-14-2014 06:42 AM

Kuno-kun: After a lovely break, we are back!

Kuno-chan: Did you all have a nice whatever you did?

Kuno-kun: I'm sure they did. So how's the weather looking?

Kuno-chan: Pretty damn hot. It seems a whole bunch of people decided to turn up the heat. They better be careful, weather moves beyond this point will start to cost a hefty bit to tilt. Use with caution.

Kuno-kun: Let's check out what's going down, action wise.

The Substitute Cam to the north shows absolutely nothing of interest. Drat. However Pimp Master Jay is at all the action right now. The Munchlax continues to face off against the Galvantula and Medicham. Even a Kingler from a ways off is quickly heading over to join the fight. First things first though, it seems the Galvantula is waiting to see what the Medicham does before it reacts. Interesting tactic. The Medicham starts to gather even more fighting energy as the Munchlax wags its fingers.

No. It couldn't be. That's right. We got us a good old fashioned Metronome. Everyone stops to watch what insanity comes out from this tiny fat Pokemon. A few seconds later a gust of wind shoots out from the normal type. It would appear it is a Silver Wind! While not the strongest move, it pelts the Light Screen and smacks the Galvantula for even more damage. Damage it doesn't really want to take. It looks exceptionally beaten up, and barely hanging on.

Medicham is sick of this and lets loose the Hidden Power which is of the fighting type. It flies in the air towards Munchlax and finally puts it down. It plops over onto the ground, KOed.

Kingler finally shows up to the party and Medicham and Galvantula start to wander off. Pimp Master Jay decides to stay in this area as about half the Pokemon competing are within a stones throw from here.

Kuno-chan: That looks like a disaster area.

Kuno-kun: Yeah I know. It'll be AWESOME.

Kuno-chan: We'll have to wait and see..


Due to the break and late reffing, attacks are required by tomorrow at 5 PM.

Lady Kuno 04-15-2014 03:57 PM

Kuno-chan: And we're back! On the warm and very sunny Fanfiction island! We had.. some amount of fighting this round. Nothing too crazy.

Kuno-kun: It was intense.

Kuno-chan: Well... Let's watch the cam and find out!

The camera shows a Medicham and Galvantula pretty pumped about their latest win. As they turn around to head north they get startled by something. Suddenly another Galvantula appears before them. Clearly this one is from some alternate reality or future or something. This is the only logical explanation. It lets out a Screech, deafening the ears of all Pokemon near by. It then uses that time to ready up a Bug Buzz! It targets the other Galvantula, causing it to fall over, KOed. Clearly there is only room in this timeline for one thunderbug.

Medicham looks reasonably distraught but then proceeds northeast towards a Donphan! The camera shifts to spot the ground type hiding to the north. Even a floating Electabuzz appears and heads towards it. Don't all electric types just love sturdy ground type Pokemon? I know they do. But the Donphan does not seem to want any friends at the moment and lets out a terrifying Roar! This stops them both in their tracks! Donphan decides to fire up a Hidden Power and launch it at the Medicham. This is enough to break its Light Screen and deal a decent bit of damage! Ouch.

Sadly the round ends before either of them could reach the Donphan. They were just too far off. Better luck next time. The camera slowly pans to a Kingler trying to catch up, as the action gets further and further away from it.

Kuno-kun: What about the action everywhere else? Should we capture that?

Kuno-chan: Literally half the GM is in this one spot. I think we'll be fine for now. Maybe if they started to throw down more we can send our lovely cameraman over there.

Kuno-kun: Oh well. Better luck next time!


Remember that DQ time is 5 PM tomorrow (24 hours)

Lady Kuno 04-16-2014 07:23 PM

A note from our sponsors: As Kuno seems to be suffering from massive exhaustion, headaches and tooth pain, the general reffing will be short.

Round 6: The Summary
Squishing Bugs

In the forest a Substitute doll appears holding a camera. It focuses in on a battle between an Ariados and a Gengar and Zubat. It seems a few blows were already changed this round, as an explosion between them can be seen. Incredible. The Zubat clears the air and does some damage with an Air Cutter! The attack does good super effective damage! Before the Ariados can retaliate, the Gengar manages to attack first this time and lets loose a Psychic! The attack does super effective damage, causing it to get KOed.

Elsewhere another Substitute Doll appears with a camera. This time a bridge can be seen. There are two Scolipede and a Joltik on one side, with a Politoed on the other. While this doesn't seem fair, it would appear one Scolipede is asleep and a Gyarados came in from the water to help out. The Politoed uses a Psychic but it would appear the Scolipede decided to use a Pursuit to nullify the damage. Good thinking! The Politoed then heads for the water but gets blasted by a Discharge from the bug first. He then heads first into the water with a Dive. Of course, as the Scolipede was using Pursuit, he ends up a bit underwater as well. Oops.

Finally a Lombre shows up and wonders where the action is. The Joltik also gets targeted by the Gyarados, taking first a Flamethrower and then a Stone Edge! Ouch. That alone was quite a bit of damage.

Back at Pimp Master Jay, a Kinger, Medicham and Electabuzz walk into a bar squish a bug in the southeast. Well, not exactly. The Galvantula tries to Agility away to the southwest, but is too tired to get too far. Also a Kingler was waiting with a Rock Tomb. As backup arrives, it Rock Slides the tomb. And then Medicham and Electabuzz start to beat on it mercilessly with many Fire Punches. It's almost too graphic to show on TV. But they show it anyway and the GM show gets moved up to an R rating. Oh well. Galvantula falls over, KOed.


But seriously, sorry for the shitty reffing this time around. Especially with a lot of tense stuff going on.


Lady Kuno 04-17-2014 05:17 PM

The camera shows the forested area from before. Sadly both the Gengar and Zubat can not be seen. The camera self destructs to save electricity.

Pimp Master Jay hangs out near the southeast but gets rather bored. It seems the Kingler, Electabuzz, Medicham and Donphan are all best friends. The Medicham even makes a peace sign for the camera before using Rest. Incredible. The Donphan also uses a Focus Energy. Quality television right here.

To the north, it would appear our Joltik friend has taken another roasting from the Gyarados via Flamethrower. It then retaliates by blasting it with a Thunderbolt. Oh man does that hurt. Suddenly and out of nowhere, a Scolipede flies out of the water with a Pursuit! It hits the Gyarados and then lands on its back. It then starts to use a Rock Climb to get even higher. But it is at this moment that a Chinchou blasts said Gyarados with a Discharge. The Gyarados falls into the water, taking the Scolipede down with it. Just great. The Scolipede also eventually wakes up and walks towards the edge of the bridge, but doesn't see anything of interest in the water.

Kuno-kun: It looks like we got an intense brawl going down.

Kuno-chan: That's right. Two more KOed this round.

Kuno-kun: At this pace, we'll be done very soon.

Kuno-chan: I somehow doubt that, but we'll see!

Kuno-kun: Anything else of interest going on?

Kuno-chan: Not really. It's still really sunny.


Lady Kuno 04-18-2014 03:24 PM

For what might possibly be the most boring round in existence, absolutely nothing happens. Pimp Master Jay in the bottom right of the map is observing Pokemon taking turns napping. Amazing. Medicham wakes up but then Electabuzz goes to sleep with a Rest. The Kingler uses Hone Claws and that is the only bit of excitement we see up here.

Up in the north, the Substitute Cam observes what might be the most bizarre activity ever to happen in the ASB. This is a four Pokemon effort to remove a Scolipede from the water. The Lombre gets behind it and starts to push it east. Feeling like it needs more help, the Joltik pitches in with the efforts. It decides to use a String Shot on the Scolipede down below and tie it to the Scolipede up above. The Scolipede up on the bridge helps tug it along like cargo over to the water. After a short bit, eventually they all end up on land. This was a colossal waste of time to execute, write about, and read. And I'm sorry for doing this to all of you.

Kuno-kun: Well, that was the most boring round ever.

Kuno-chan: Lets go for beers.


Lady Kuno 04-20-2014 06:35 AM

Kuno-chan: We have yet another extremely round as no one seems to be doing anything exciting.

Kuno-kun: We have team southeast half asleep and I believe one Pokemon is looking like it's getting blazed. On this, the holiest of days. How shameful.

Kuno-chan: Agreed. Let's see if anything interesting is happening to the north.

The Substitute Cam to the north shows EXTREME CARNAGE. Ok not so much that as much as SUDDEN BETRAYAL. It would appear both Scolipede decided to turn on the Resting Lombre. They both charge at it with glowing horns and ram it with a Megahorn! Lombre wakes up instantly with surprise. However it doesn't have too much time to react or do much of anything when the both of them suddenly get purple glowing tails. They both slap it around a bit with Poison Tails. The damage is just too much for the poor water/grass type. It says "Et Tu Brute", then it falls over.

Kuno-kun: Somehow we managed to get something interesting happen up there.

Kuno-chan: I never would have imagined it. Sucks for the Lombre, though.

Kuno-kun: It would appear that four Pokemon remain until things get tense. Who will make it? Find out next time! Probably.

Attacks are due tomorrow (Monday) at 5 PM EST.

Lady Kuno 04-21-2014 05:46 PM

Kuno-kun: So.. nothing is happening.

: Yep.

Kuno-kun: There's a tiny bit of action in the south but.. it's really not a lot.

Kuno-chan: Yep.

Kuno-kun: Also everyone has had their three-mover restored. The few people who used it, at least.

Kuno-chan: People wanted to save their energy, I suppose. Anyway, lets look at the map. You can tell the boredom just by looking at it.


Lady Kuno 04-22-2014 01:15 PM

Pimp Master Jay sighs dejectedly as he Teleports away from the eastern group. It would appear they're just traveling and they didn't even all stick together. The Kingler decided to hit the high seas.

Instead Pimp Master Jay is now at a different location. He landed in the middle of a battle, where we see a Gengar, Rotom and Zubat duking it out. The Gengar seems to be gathering some ghost energy as the Rotom blasts the Zubat with a Thunderbolt! Ouch! The Gengar lets loose its attack and fires off a Night Shade! A much darker form of a thunderbolt fires from the Gengars eyes, jolting Rotom for good super effective ghost damage.

The Rotom and Gengar stare each other down. They both seem to gather a large amount of ghost energy. They fire off their attacks at each other! Two large ghostly orbs of energy travel towards each other. They hit each other and explode in the middle! It would appear they both tried to use a Shadow Ball! However both of these Pokemon forgot about Zubat. It also gathered some ghost energy and nails Rotom with its own Shadow Ball! Ouch!

A Chinchou also shows up and just hangs out. Intense.

Kuno-kun: Could it be.. action?

Kuno-chan: Yay for stuff happening. Finally. Everyone else is playing ring around the rosie.

Kuno-kun: Lets see how this'll play out.

Kuno-chan: Since no one else did much, all I have left to say is lets look at the map. You can pretty much tell what's going on by looking at it.


Lady Kuno 04-23-2014 04:52 PM

Pimp Master Jay shows the action by the water as the Gengar suddenly dips into the water, completely out of sight! The Chinchou to the north spots this and also goes out of sight by hiding underwater. Who knows what is happening down there. But back on the surface the Zubat seems to be looking around for something or someone. Not finding it, it just relaxes and floats over the water. The Rotom is taking advantage of the calm situation by setting up yet another Light Screen! How intense. It then looks around and then focuses on the Zubat. It gathers some ghost energy in the form of a Ominous Wind and blasts the Zubat! The attack does some good damage, but also seems to have boosted up the Rotom as well! Incredible.

Of course the Zubat looks quite pissed. It fires off a Round at the ghost! However it just hits the Light Screen! Pissed, it fires off yet another Round and finally manages to shatter it! Incredible. It decides to use a third Round and finally do some damage to the Rotom. The camera pans towards the east and zooms in. A Muk is approaching.


Lady Kuno 04-24-2014 04:50 PM

Nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens.

Zubat gets hit with a Thunder and then uses Supersonic on the Muk.

Nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens nothing happens.


Lady Kuno 04-25-2014 05:50 PM

The lights are dim in a certain studio office. Two people can be seen sleeping peacefully at their desks. However this slumber is quickly ruined by the sound of an alarm going off. With this alarm is a flashing red light somewhere in the studio. Eventually the two of them wake up, realize they are on camera, and pretend like nothing happened.

Kuno-kun: Oh hey someone got KOed. I thought for a second we removed that feature from GMs.

Kuno-chan: I would imagine 12 people locked in an arena would make for some quick kills but boy was I wrong.

Kuno-kun: The KO was too quick for Pimp Master Jay to Teleport to, so we have no real footage.

Kuno-chan: Sorry guys. Also the location he is at is just showing a Zubat slowing flying away over the water.

Kuno-kun: Yeah..

Kuno-chan: Only three people left before the second phase of this super fun event. Let's hope it happens soon.


Lady Kuno 04-26-2014 04:25 PM

Kuno-chan: With no real action going on, there is nothing interesting to report.

Kuno-kun: Everyone is probably just waiting for the final eight.

Kuno-chan: After that hopefully there will be less stalling and more chaos.

Kuno-kun: Excellent.

Kuno-chan: But until then, we'll have to deal with the Grand Melee Grand Prix.

Kuno-kun: Not so excellent.

Kuno-chan: Either way, let's end with the map for now.

Kuno-kun: It looks like we might have a few interesting rounds soon..

Kuno-chan: We'll see.


Lady Kuno 04-27-2014 05:31 PM

Pimp Master Jay detects a large battle imminent, as many Pokemon are gathering towards one area. He Teleports towards the western side of the lake, just south of the bridge.

A large collection of rocks can be seen with a Scolipede scurrying towards it. On the other side, from the bridge, a Medicham riding a Donphan approaches. As the two Pokemon get close, the Scolipede hits the rocks with a Rock Slide, causing a few of the rocks to fly towards the two of them. The Rock Slide manages to do some damage and also knock the Medicham off of the Donphan. Like a birthday cake no one wanted, a Scolipede pops out from the rocks. The arena right now has two Scolipede against a Medicham and Donphan.

Donphan decides rocks are very fun to play with and uses its own Rock Slide! It smacks one of the rocks next to the emerging Scolipede into it, dealing a good bit of super effective damage. During this time the Medicham can be seen concentrating on an attack. It was not just standing around doing nothing! Instead it was readying a Psychic! The wave of energy flies towards the Scolipede! But luckily it came prepared. It coats itself in a dark bubble through Pursuit and nullifies the attack! It then smacks the Medicham with it, dealing a bit of damage.

The Donphan from before is not just a cheerleader. He decides he wants in on some more of the action. Yet no one is paying attention to it. It is very sad. In a cry for attention, it blasts out a Hyper Voice directed at the Scolipede. It deals quite a good bit of damage, making it look rather beaten up at the moment. While this is going on, the other Scolipede has made its way next to the Medicham. It seems to be gathering energy for a Giga Impact as the other Scolipede jabs the Medicham with a Megahorn! Ouch, its kidneys.

To the north we seem to have a UFO approaching. Wait it's not unidentified. It's just the stupid Electabuzz. It charged itself with yet another Magnet Rise. It used its floating powers to bypass the bridge and head on over to the action. As it approaches the Pokemon, it blasts the weakened Scolipede with a Discharge! It is enough to knock it out as it falls over, KOed.

However this part is far from over. Well, it's mostly over. But there is still more action. The other Scolipede that everyone forgot about has charged up a full Giga Impact and smashes into the Medicham for some extreme damage. Thoroughly pissed off, and a bit beaten up, the Medicham retaliates with yet another Psychic wave! It hits the bug for some good super effective damage, however it still looks pretty healthy. Off to the southeast, a Rotom can be seen.

Kuno-kun: Damn that was intense.

Kuno-chan: Yep. Ten Pokemon remain. Only two left before things change up. Who will drop? Find out next time!


Lady Kuno 04-28-2014 06:12 PM

Pimp Master Jay silently watches from a distance with the camera as the round starts with some instant action. Medicham is the first to strike as the Scolipede looks a tad pooped from his large last round action. The fighter Pokemon quickly darts in with a Fake Out, dealing a small bit of damage but smacking it around a bit to make it disoriented and stunned. By the time Scolipede snaps out of it, the nearby Donphan has summoned a few pointy stones in front of it. It then fires them off as it uses a Stone Edge, dealing a hefty amount of super effective damage on the poor bug type. Both the Donphan and Medicham wait to see what the Scolipede does as the Medicham slowly backs away.

What it does is it decides to attack the earth and Dig underground, catching the both of them off guard. During this time, a Zubat flies down from the north and a Rotom appears as well. The Electabuzz just continues to creepily float around as it doesn't do much. The Rotom looks around and upon not seeing its primary target, it looks at the Zubat and shocks it (and the audience) with a Thunderbolt! Ouch.

Not long after the Scolipede resurfaces with a Dig, striking the heart of the Medicham. Wait did I say heart, I meant feet. Either way, it deals a decent bit of damage to it, as well as knock it down a bit. The Scolipede then starts to amass a great bit of bug energy. It charges at the Medicham with a Megahorn! But it would seem that the Medicham was ready for such an attack and erects a Protect in front of it just in time! The bug type smashes into the Protect with all its might, unable to pierce it. During this time both the Donphan and Zubat were not just waiting around watching (although the Electabuzz and Rotom are), they were readying their next attacks! After the Megahorn fails, they both fire off an Air Slash and a Hidden Power! The two attacks strike at the bug, causing it to plop over, KOed.

The Medicham then looks up at the Zubat and starts to gather some Psychic energy. It fires it off, causing the poor bat to drop to the ground. KOed.

Kuno-chan: And with that, the first part of the Grand Melee is done. Here is a map of the last round.


Kuno-kun: Of course that means it's time to unveil the new map. Are you ready for it kids?


Welcome to Dark UPN! The Dark Fanfiction Island!


I think it's time to blow this scene.
Get everybody and their stuff together.
OK, three, two, one let's jam.

The arena this time is exactly the same. However it takes place in a different universe. One where the sun was nuked and it is in the process of blowing up. This of course had dire consequences on the planet that we live on. The world was forever changed.

The stone mountains around the arena are the boundaries. You cannot go through, above or below those walls. The arena is filled entirely with sand, as it is a massive desert. A few sand dunes exist, but it is mostly flat. There are also a few palm trees scattered about. In the center there is a small temple. It is not very large, and is pillared with no walls. The starting position 10 puts the Pokemon on top of the temple.

There are no other points of interest on this map. Due to the sun exploding, the arena starts under the effect of sunny day. But it can get cloudy and even rain. However that is not an easy task.


You have until 5 PM tomorrow to send me a PM with your new Pokemon and your top 3 location choices. Since there is no land/water spots, just send me the numbers.

In addition, you must choose a Pokemon you had with you at the start of the GM. Sending me an addition to your squad after Round 0 will result in your immediate disqualification. This includes any evolutions.

Failure to send me a PM will result in you having the same Pokemon as last time and a random location.

Good luck!

Lady Kuno 04-29-2014 03:27 PM

Kuno-chan: And we're back! Pimp Master Jay just finished teleporting our brand new Pokemon onto the arena.

Kuno-kun: I wonder what choices were made this time.

Kuno-chan: Who knows. The arena looks a bit more extreme than last time.

Kuno-kun: Either way, nothing happens this round except for the placement of the new Pokemon.

Kuno-chan: Whoever wound up on top of the ancient stone temple has a pretty good vantage point, though.

Kuno-kun: That's true. I wonder who it is..

Kuno-chan: You're all just waiting for the map anyway. Enjoy!


Lady Kuno 04-30-2014 04:38 PM

With no action happening on the field, Pimp Master Jay just hangs around, bored. Thankfully there is a news team ready to deliver some quality entertainment. The camera pans to a map with weather icons on it. In front of it a woman in a swimsuit is standing, ready to deliver the weather report.

Kuno-chan: Why in the unholy hell did you make me wear this?

Kuno-kun: Because the round is boring and we're on a summer vacation getaway.

Kuno-chan: Who would want to go here for vacation? They'd probably lose all our boxes getting here.

Kuno-kun: Well there is nothing else going on this round. Can you at least do the weather?

Kuno-chan: Yeah yeah... *clears throat* So yes. The arena is really hot. But due to a Rain Dance, the burning inferno was reduced from infinite hellfire to slight chance of surprise immolation. A cloud or two now floats above this sandy apocalypse. However it'll take more than one Rain Dance before this wasteland becomes livable.

Kuno-kun: Great work! Although sadly, that's pretty much the only thing that happened this round.

Kuno-chan: The movement on the map tells the real story, anyway. I'm sure we'll have some burnination real soon. Other than our battlers spontaneously combusting.


Lady Kuno 05-01-2014 03:26 PM

The camera returns to the map of Dark Fanfiction Island. In front of it, Kuno-chan is standing once more in the same outfit as last round. She does not look amused.

Kuno-chan: And here we can see, as people continue to mess with the weather, the weather will be messed with. We had a colder breeze come in, and then someone decided to turn up the heat and undid it. And then a completely different person decided they wanted it cooler also. And now the arena is still pretty hot, but nowhere near as intense as it previously was. A few more clouds now litter the sky. However the energy for weather moves except Sandstorm is now a tad higher than normal. But should someone try a few more Rain Dances, the sky might get completely cloudy and even drop some warm rain. Who knows!

Kuno-kun: We know. We actually know. We put together this arena.

Kuno-chan: I'm trying to make this entertaining, damn it. No one attacked this round. A few people attempted it, but then did not realize they are on the other side of the map.

Kuno-kun: Everyone is a bit closer now so we'll have to wait and see.

Kuno-chan: Here's hoping the next round has some action. So far most everyone is heading east except for a few people. Let's look at the map.


Lady Kuno 05-02-2014 06:38 PM

Kuno-chan can be seen standing in front of a map of the arena once again, in the same attire as earlier. She seems to have an urgent weather report or else she would not be up there doing the weather again.

Kuno-chan: After a bit of back and forth, it would appear the sky is mostly cloudy at the moment. The temperature is now a surprising "warm". It also would appear that next round we will have some light rain, progressing into possibly a bit more. However attempting to change the weather at this point will be a bit of an investment in energy. Do be careful. It should also be noted it will be a warm rain. Don't expect it to be cold.

Kuno-kun: Thanks for the update. Let's check with Pimp Master Jay down at the arena.

Pimp Master Jay appears on screen with a vast desert all around him. Off to the side you can see a massive stone wall. Up north, a Tyranitar and a Claydol seem to be hanging out, having a great time. Well, in actuality it would appear their back is to the wall. Literally. Off to the west and south more Pokemon can be seen approaching. On a sand dune to the south, a lovable yet murderous Chimecho can be seen approaching. A bit north of it a Cacturne is quickly approaching.

However the big point of interest is to the west. An Aerodactyl has taken to the skies. It's massive form and imposing presence is potent enough to make any adult soil their undergarments. To make this sight even more intimidating is what is on its back. A Medicham is proudly riding on top of it. This seems all too familiar.

While all the Pokemon end the round a bit too far away from each other for stuff to go down, be assured that none of the Pokemon are here to play patty cake. Well, perhaps some of them are. Most of them are here for blood. And blood there will be. Blood that will quickly wash away because it seems as if though it will rain a bit next round.


Lady Kuno 05-03-2014 05:55 PM

A woman in a flame bikini can be seen once more, standing in front of a map of the arena. She is rather annoyed because she has to do this, in addition to the fact it is also now raining and she is wearing a bikini. She mentions that the weather is still a bit warm and so the rain is warm as well. The weather report ends and the camera changes to the field.

To the south you can spot a Cacturne quickly approaching the Tyranitar and Claydol. However the Tyranitar is a busy Pokemon. It has places to be and Pokemon to meet. It decides to take to the skies! It covers itself with a dark bubble in the form of a Pursuit! To the west we spot an Aerodactyl and a Medicham riding it approaching. The Tyranitar is clearly traveling in order to visit and discuss business deals.

While the legend of the flying Tyranitar is one that will be passed down for generations, the Cacturne has arrived at the same time that happened. It quickly conjures up a few leaves in the form of Magic Leaf and fires them off towards the Claydol! Oh no, it is weak to grass! That is what it would normally say if it didn't have a Light Screen already up. Oh snap. The bits of grass energy hit the screen and do not break it. That's the breaks. Or rather, that's the not breaks.

The Tyranitar flies towards its target, gaining a bit of altitude and closing the distance. The Aerodactyl is getting ready for its important business meeting with a Steel Wing! It coats its wings with steel energy as the Medicham holds on tight! The flying bird Pokemon keeps trying to get into position to attack but it just cant pull it off! It would appear its cargo makes it a bit too heavy to be it's normal quick and maneuverable self. But the real issue here is that Tyranitar is just always too high for it! And why is that? Because the target of the Pursuit is the Medicham! Surprising plot twist! The Tyranitar smacks into it, but it manages to stay on Aerodactyl as it was holding it. The Pursuit pops and Tyranitar is now riding as well.

Both the Tyranitar and Medicham have some important plans and negotiations to discuss. Tyranitar suggests an Ice Punch for the upcoming third quarter. It looks down at the Aerodactyl as it starts to charge its attack. The Medicham has a counter proposal of just nuking the sun with a Dynamic Punch on the Tyranitar.

But you know what? It would appear the Aerodactyl has the best plan of all. And do you know what that is? Nosedive towards the ground because it cannot support all this weight. A very good plan indeed. As it falls the Tyranitar does an amazing nose dive into the sand, vanishing from view. If the judges were here they would all give it a ten. Except for the German one. She would give it a nein. The Medicham crashes into the sand and the Aerodactyl manages to stabilize and flies in the air not too far from the ground.

While all of this was going on the Cacturne really wants this Claydol to go down. It starts to gather some more grass energy in the form of a Seed Bomb! However from behind it gets hit with someone astonishing! Or rather, just an Astonish! The little Chimecho manages to startle it during its attack as the Cacturne looks really pissed. What they are both missing is witnessing perhaps one of the most bizarre events to happen in this event so far. The Claydol gathers a bit of ice energy in front of it and launches it towards the dropped Aerodactyl. The attack deals good super effective damage on. It plops to the ground, KOed.

Wait, did I say KOed? It's not KOed. Just frozen in a block of ice. On a massive desert arena. In the year 2014. Where the sun has been nuked, making it extra hot. Somehow we have a Pokemon in a block of ice. And that is the world we are living in and the situation where we are at right now.

As every other Pokemon stares in disbelief, the Claydol Digs away, out of sight. As the round ends the camera spots an Abomasnow a bit to the north of the Medicham and Ice Cube, and a bit more north we see a large gathering of Rotom Fans. No, not a Rotom and its fans. A bunch of Rotom Fans.

Much love to Daisy for the art!

Lady Kuno 05-05-2014 08:14 AM

Kuno-chan: Once again, I am here giving you the news on the weather. It would appear that someone decided to make things even more difficult. The rain seems to have stopped as a Tyranitar started to whip up a massive sandstorm in C-2. While for most Pokemon this move would have failed in this light rain, the user being a Tyranitar and also in a massive desert it pulled it off. The Tyranitar blasted out a large amount of sand from its body, which kicked up even more sand from the ground. It seems the rain has stopped in the quadrant of C-2 while this is going on.

Down at the battle we see all of the Pokemon looking around. They seem to be searching for something or someone. Suddenly a large Tyranitar pops out of the ground! It smacks into one of the minions of the Rotom Fan army! Luckily, it strikes true causing the Substitute to fade as well as all of the Double Team copies. When this happens, nearly all of the Pokemon in the arena start to head towards it.

Meanwhile the Aerodactyl starts spewing out fire in an attempt to defrost itself. To the north the Rotom Fan starts to gather some electric energy as the Abomasnow gathers some fighting energy as it continues to approach it. It is at this point that the Tyranitar unleashes a Sandstorm! Most Pokemon on the field lost vision of it instantly! Thankfully Pimp Master Jay is wearing a fancy pair of Go-Goggles, allowing him to see what is going on.

The Rotom Fan and Abomasnow both use their attacks on the Tyranitar. The Rotom Fan blows a Thunderbolt at it while the Abomasnow unleashes a Focus Blast! Ouch. The attack deals an exceptional amount of damage to it. As the rest of the Pokemon are mostly disoriented in the sandstorm, the Rotom Fan finishes things with a Signal Beam! The Tyranitar falls over, KOed.

Nothing else eventful happens except for the Aerodactyl being defrosted.

Kuno-kun: What a round. The Sandstorm makes things interesting.

Kuno-chan: I agree. Due to the amount of weather spam earlier, I'm not even sure if anyone has enough water energy to use a Rain Dance at this point. But who knows.

Kuno-kun: It looks like vision will be a bit hazy for a few more rounds. Lets see if we can get some stealth action in.

Attacks will be due in at 5 pm tomorrow. Please do make sure you send them in asap and don't use this as an excuse to do it later and forget.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:32 PM.

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